What’s up with the hate?

[+ TylerandAce]

Our communication with clients and other pros is overwhelmingly positive. We stay nicely booked and have hundreds of fans page subscribers. However, we do have some hate mail every once in a while. We’ve had the predictable ones in the past ranging from disgust that we “flaunt” our relationship to criticism for being gay stereotypes. This one today, though, surprised me as I made initial contact to give a compliment to another escort and maybe some encouragement. His response was to ask if we wanted to book him. When I answered “no, just giving a compliment to another pro”, his response was “I just threw up in my mouth a little, but thanks for a compliment.”.

 

It’s always disappointing since we are just having fun and know we aren’t for everybody any more than everybody is for us. However, I don’t think I’ll ever understand it. I’m of the persuasion that nothing-nice needs nothin said. Why do some feel the need to lash out? Thoughts? Maybe some here feel disgusted by us, too? I have thick skin, so I’d be interested in your take.

[+ GregM]

Haters are going to hate. I've had some on the board. I just ignore them or block them mostly. Cant please everyone. With my age and everything I've been through in my 42 years (yes I'm 42) I dont give one fuck if someone dislikes me. I have more important things to busy myself with.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

My motto: Don't question the motives of assholes. Simple and effective.

 

You guys are aces in my book (yuk, yuk). In the past, I've also reached out privately to escorts who I thought could use a little advice: Only one ever had the social grace to reply in kind. The rest ignored the message and continued down the self-destructive path. Their loss. My lesson to learn.

 

What you're experiencing is not hate. It's envy.

 

Let this roll off your back. You do you. And clearly, that's worked very well so far

[+ TylerandAce]

Haters are going to hate. I've had some on the board. I just ignore them or block them mostly. Cant please everyone. With my age and everything I've been through in my 42 years (yes I'm 42) I dont give one fuck if someone dislikes me. I have more important things to busy myself with.

 

Hugs,

Greg

You’re lots younger than we!! Lol. I really don’t care, just trying to figure out from where it comes. Obviously we are narcissistic enough to want to be loved by everyone!!! Lol. It’s just weird.

[+ TylerandAce]

My motto: Don't question the motives of assholes. Simple and effective.

 

You guys are aces in my book (yuk, yuk). In the past, I've also reached out privately to escorts who I thought could use a little advice: Only one ever had the social grace to reply in kind. The rest ignored the message and continued down the self-destructive path. Their loss. My lesson to learn.

 

What you're experiencing is not hate. It's envy.

 

Let this roll off your back. You do you. And clearly, that's worked very well so far

Thanks for the encouragement. I’m just curious about the motivation, so I’d like to think it’s envy, but maybe it’s a sign of a little self hatred in the larger community?? Or maybe I’m reading too much into it. Like you said, assholes

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

self hatred

 

This. 100%

 

Like I've said before, there's a razor-thin line in this industry between someone being your biggest fan or greatest foe. With those who's MO is control through money, the moment you say no to them, their true nature begins to ooze out.

 

The greatest lesson you can learn is not to understand or reason why, but to cut them off immediately and move forward.

[+ TylerandAce]

This. 100%

 

Like I've said before, there's a razor-thin line in this industry between someone being your biggest fan or greatest foe. With those who's MO is control through money, the moment you say no to them, their true nature begins to ooze out.

 

The greatest lesson you can learn is not to understand or reason why, but to cut them off immediately and move forward.

Yep...I think you are correct.

[bnm73]

Remember that this is a different age....just turn on the TV or check out twitter...vitriol and lack of self control are all the rage. Manners and courtesy are quaintly out of fashion atm.

[Wolfer]

So I’d like to think it’s envy, but maybe it’s a sign of a little self hatred in the larger community??

I think it might be a bit of both. When people are in the same line of work/hobby/whatever as you and they can see that you are clearly more succesful than them, they need to find a way to deal with that without admitting to themselves that it is hurting their self-esteem or self-worth.

So they try and cut you down to bring you down to their level. Or even lower.

 

Brad Bird, the director of the Pixar movie "The Incredibles" noted this in one interview that he felt like certain people in the movie industry almost came across as wanting him to fail after the success he'd had with the Incredibles and Ratatouille. He found it scary and didn't understand why. But I think it's rampant envy by seeing someone else realizing the dreams that those haters had been hoping to fulfill themselves but, for whatever reason, have been unable to do so (yet) and when someone fails they feel better about their own shortcomings/inability to make their own dreams come true, I guess.

 

It's sad, but there it is.

[Walker1]

You’re lots younger than we!! Lol. I really don’t care, just trying to figure out from where it comes. Obviously we are narcissistic enough to want to be loved by everyone!!! Lol. It’s just weird.

Who knows his story? Maybe he never knew love and never had a deep heart relationship with family/friends ? Maybe just in the rat race/dog eat dog world mindset, where he can't even fathom to stop and smell the roses. Or maybe just an ahole? I have learnt not to let such folks affect me. They will change when they are ready-or sometimes never. Life is too short!

[+ azdr0710]

in addition to the above possibilities, I presume there's some insecurity existing for some haters (possibly related to the self-hatred for some).....yelling at, berating, insulting others can sometimes help an insecure person feel more self-validated.....

[P Gren]

Our communication with clients and other pros is overwhelmingly positive. We stay nicely booked and have hundreds of fans page subscribers. However, we do have some hate mail every once in a while. We’ve had the predictable ones in the past ranging from disgust that we “flaunt” our relationship to criticism for being gay stereotypes. This one today, though, surprised me as I made initial contact to give a compliment to another escort and maybe some encouragement. His response was to ask if we wanted to book him. When I answered “no, just giving a compliment to another pro”, his response was “I just threw up in my mouth a little, but thanks for a compliment.”.

 

It’s always disappointing since we are just having fun and know we aren’t for everybody any more than everybody is for us. However, I don’t think I’ll ever understand it. I’m of the persuasion that nothing-nice needs nothin said. Why do some feel the need to lash out? Thoughts? Maybe some here feel disgusted by us, too? I have thick skin, so I’d be interested in your take.

Was he maybe not interested in older guys, and then communicated that really badly?

Edited September 15, 2018 by P Gren

[+ FreshFluff]

Our communication with clients and other pros is overwhelmingly positive. We stay nicely booked and have hundreds of fans page subscribers. However, we do have some hate mail every once in a while. We’ve had the predictable ones in the past ranging from disgust that we “flaunt” our relationship to criticism for being gay stereotypes. This one today, though, surprised me as I made initial contact to give a compliment to another escort and maybe some encouragement. His response was to ask if we wanted to book him. When I answered “no, just giving a compliment to another pro”, his response was “I just threw up in my mouth a little, but thanks for a compliment.”.

 

Sorry, Ace. My guess is that the new escort is uncomfortable with this line of work and sees it as something shameful he does on the side.

[+ oldNbusted]

...there's a razor-thin line in this industry between someone being your biggest fan or greatest foe.

 

I'm reminded of the Elie Wiesel quote "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."

 

I guess there is a a thin line because love and hate are actually two sides of the same coin.

[+ nycman]

Moma Ru said it best.....

 

“Unless their payin’ your bills....pay those bitches no mind”

 

To answer the question...”why?”....I give you Morrissey....

 

“We hate it when our friends become successful”

[bigvalboy]

“We hate it when our friends become successful”

 

+1

 

My Dad used to always say, "Son, people want you to be successful, just not more successful than them,"

[jawjateck]

In recent years, young providers have become more dismissive of both encouragement and coaching. I no longer offer either. I have accepted that I'm an old fart who has nothing useful to give these aspiring intellects.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

I just threw up in my mouth a little

 

This guy is an asshole. Maybe you should name him so we can avoid him.

I am glad you two are around and provide services for us. I love the variety of choice we have as clients, even though I don’t actually take that much advantage of it (I really have one type only), but I think it’s great that there are men of every age, shape, colour and background to hire.

And who knows what my tastes will be in 10 years time?

[mike carey]

I wonder if it could be that they don't like the word 'pro' (as in the oldest profession, not pro meaning professional). That he said 'but thanks for the compliment' implies to me that he was reacting to one particular aspect of your communication not the overall message.

[P Gren]

I wonder if it could be that they don't like the word 'pro' (as in the oldest profession, not pro meaning professional). That he said 'but thanks for the compliment' implies to me that he was reacting to one particular aspect of your communication not the overall message.

sounded like 'thanks for the compliment' but 'I'm not interested' and the negative spin sounded like direct but unclear disinterest in an older guy

[+ sniper]

I'm pretty sure the thanks for the compliment is negated by the leading with "threw up a little bit in my mouth."

[+ WilliamM]

You’re lots younger than we!! Lol. I really don’t care, just trying to figure out from where it comes. Obviously we are narcissistic enough to want to be loved by everyone!!! Lol. It’s just weird.

 

Greg gave his age in this thread as forty-two years old.

[MiamiLooker]

This one today, though, surprised me as I made initial contact to give a compliment to another escort and maybe some encouragement. His response was to ask if we wanted to book him. When I answered “no, just giving a compliment to another pro”, his response was “I just threw up in my mouth a little, but thanks for a compliment.”

Based on his response, do you think your compliment was justified? Do you still consider him a "pro"?

[+ TylerandAce]

I think it might be a bit of both. When people are in the same line of work/hobby/whatever as you and they can see that you are clearly more succesful than them, they need to find a way to deal with that without admitting to themselves that it is hurting their self-esteem or self-worth.

So they try and cut you down to bring you down to their level. Or even lower.

 

Brad Bird, the director of the Pixar movie "The Incredibles" noted this in one interview that he felt like certain people in the movie industry almost came across as wanting him to fail after the success he'd had with the Incredibles and Ratatouille. He found it scary and didn't understand why. But I think it's rampant envy by seeing someone else realizing the dreams that those haters had been hoping to fulfill themselves but, for whatever reason, have been unable to do so (yet) and when someone fails they feel better about their own shortcomings/inability to make their own dreams come true, I guess.

 

It's sad, but there it is.

I think that’s wisely stated, Wolfer. Thanks for that. It is a shame that we can’t see past the competitiveness and self esteem issues, sometimes

[+ TylerandAce]

Moma Ru said it best.....

 

“Unless their payin’ your bills....pay those bitches no mind”

 

To answer the question...”why?”....I give you Morrissey....

 

“We hate it when our friends become successful”

Perfect anecdotes! Thank you