BF. - Boyfriend Experience

[Edward]

What does BF mean? Does it include anal. Does it include kissing?

[sexymonk]

It is fake thing! In it the provider makes you feel as if he is your bf for the time!

[+ José Soplanucas]

As everything in this industry, the definition of BFE dances at the rhythm of the participants' preferences. In general it means the provider is willing to show affection and to be engaged as though he wanted you. In general, it includes kissing. In general, does not necessarily includes sex.

 

Take it as a role play situation. How the experience actually materializes depends on the actors.

[bnm73]

 

Take it as a role play situation.

 

That's the best way I've ever seen it put. The whole "BFE" thing doesn't appeal to me, personally.

[Epigonos]

It really means anything you want it to mean OR absolutely nothing. I've always found the term silly. If I want to know what services the guy I'm considering hiring provides -- I ASK HIM.

[big-n-tall]

What @latbear4blk and @Epigonos said.

 

Just like muscle worship, bfe can mean different things for different people. Both may or may not involve actual sex.

 

I have never asked any provider for a bfe. Some have on their own volition have done things, like hug me and kiss me in public or grab on to my arm as we walked somewhere. Most have been extremely affectionate before and after intercourse. But then again I've been told I'm like a big cuddly teddy bear... which would explain a lot of the affection. LOL!

 

Anyway, a lot depends on how the provider feels about the client and how comfortable he is with the client when it comes to bfe.

[KeepItReal]

It really means anything you want it to mean OR absolutely nothing. I've always found the term silly. If I want to know what services the guy I'm considering hiring provides -- I ASK HIM.

Absolutely - it is very silly, make sure you know what is being offered.

An alternative to asking is to tell him what you enjoy and if he is cool with going along with it (boils down to the same thing really). For example, "I enjoy kissing, lots of body contact, being rimmed, being sucked and I am a top - does that work for you?"

[sexymonk]

That's the best way I've ever seen it put. The whole "BFE" thing doesn't appeal to me, personally.

I agree. I don't like bfe thing as it is like acting and at the end of Day you know it is fake. Better I like things to the point and we all know what we want!

[+ José Soplanucas]

Despite its lack of popularity here, I do find the expression useful. I sometimes use it to set up expectations when I am going to meet a professional for the first time. Even when I agree it is an extremely vague expression, it does communicate quite well my need for an interactive, non transactional experience, for looking at the eyes, for passionate kissing, in a vainilla context. I always go vainilla the first time.

 

I really do not understand very well the criticism to the "fake" nature of the scenario. I do agree that what matters the most is the sexual performance (at least in my case), but that is meat that can be served in many different plates. BFE is one of those plates, as real and as fake as any other.

 

At least you like it raw.

 

But you know what? Having money involved, raw can also be fake.

[Epigonos]

Adding to my post above. The one thing I don't want at my age (77) is a "boyfriend experience". If I wanted a "boyfriend experience" I'd go find an honest to goodness boyfriend and frankly I can't think of anything worse. I live alone, I sleep alone, and I don't cook breakfast. I hire escorts as much for the fact that after we have shared a meal and my bed they get up, get dressed and LEAVE.

[TruHart1]

Wow! All this talk of "fake" BFE's. I personally take a much more romantic view, just as I look at this whole hobby of hiring escorts more romantically! Here are my personal thoughts on a true BFE (for me!) which I wrote on another (Ask an Escort) thread:

 

As a client, I know when I am furnished what I feel is a true boyfriend experience, where I actually have not only an extraordinary sexual connection, including everything that excites me sexually, from amazing tongue work while French kissing, to having my nipples manipulated in the most sensual ways possible, to hearing his groans of pleasure as I rim him and suck him, to feeling myself nearing that point of no return as he sucks or f**cks me, but also our sharing with each other in mutually enjoyable conversations before moving on to the sexual play, which is followed by intimate cuddling after we climax.

 

There is nothing quite so intimate to me as being in his arms, with my head on his chest and our arms around each other, sharing our thoughts quietly for a bit, sometimes even napping with each other for a short time. I do think that a boyfriend experience is not necessarily the same for every man, though. I always hope to be treated as if I am the most desirable man the escort has ever met, for the time we enjoy together. As I've said many times since I began this hobby, I do fall in love with the best escorts I hire just a bit during the time we spend together, in bed or out, during both the on-the-clock and off-the-clock time we are together.

 

Now since I am only one client, with only my personal definition of the boyfriend experience expressed here, I'd be interested to get back to the "Ask An Escort" topic requested by the OP. I would love to hear from any escorts out there who are willing to explain what the "boyfriend experience" is for them with clients from their own professional perspective.

 

TruHart1

[+ SundayZip]

Adding to my post above. The one thing I don't want at my age (77) is a "boyfriend experience". If I wanted a "boyfriend experience" I'd go find an honest to goodness boyfriend and frankly I can't think of anything worse. I live alone, I sleep alone, and I don't cook breakfast. I hire escorts as much for the fact that after we have shared a meal and my bed they get up, get dressed and LEAVE.

 

Amen brother!

[samhexum]

What does "boyfriend experience" mean?

What you think it means? You're probably right.

I prefer the "fuckbuddy experience".

It means clients create fantasy expectations in their mind, are disappointed, and when they complain to the rentguy, he responds "that's not what BFE means to me.

To me, "boyfriend experience" implies a longer encounter, multiple hours and involves a lot of kissing, giving and receiving of affection

a truly great BFE includes excellent and natural communication between the client and the escort

To me a boyfriend experience entails greater physical and emotional intimacy than might be expected of a typical encounter.

http://cdn.slowrobot.com/411201812114555401.jpg

 

 

http://img.sparknotes.com/content/sparklife/sparktalk/2013/auntie0926132013926_LargeWide.png

 

[+ SundayZip]

For me, asking for a BFE is deciding to be delusional. What I'm looking for is an escort experience, so that's exactly what I want to call it. I can work out, with the escort, the nature of the date including specific activities. Having a boyfriend is something entirely different that cannot be replicated within an hour or two (or even a weekend).

[Golem]

Ultimately, as @latbear4blk said, it's a useful expression. It's just a way of talking about things, it's vocabulary. And it's a good way of distinguishing between what @TruHart1 describes, and other things that are less relational (though not necessarily less awesome).

 

The tricky part, and the reason I think it can feel like a "fake" description, is of course that you can't simply manufacture that kind of personal connection. There has to be some kind of spark, some meshing of persons that is conducive to giving a shit about the other person. However, good providers are often skilled at finding ways to make that spark happen, both for themself and for the other party.

 

As a psychotherapist friend likes to say, "You can pay me for my professional services. You can't pay me to care about you. But I do care about other people, because I'm human, and when I care about a client it becomes a 100% relevant part of my professional services."

 

I've always parsed the phrase as meaning "an experience like you might have, for a few hours, with a boyfriend" -- not "the totality of what it's like to have a long-term boyfriend."

[+ Keith30309]

Wow! All this talk of "fake" BFE's. I personally take a much more romantic view, just as I look at this whole hobby of hiring escorts more romantically! Here are my personal thoughts on a true BFE (for me!) which I wrote on another (Ask an Escort) thread:

 

As a client, I know when I am furnished what I feel is a true boyfriend experience, where I actually have not only an extraordinary sexual connection, including everything that excites me sexually, from amazing tongue work while French kissing, to having my nipples manipulated in the most sensual ways possible, to hearing his groans of pleasure as I rim him and suck him, to feeling myself nearing that point of no return as he sucks or f**cks me, but also our sharing with each other in mutually enjoyable conversations before moving on to the sexual play, which is followed by intimate cuddling after we climax.

 

There is nothing quite so intimate to me as being in his arms, with my head on his chest and our arms around each other, sharing our thoughts quietly for a bit, sometimes even napping with each other for a short time. I do think that a boyfriend experience is not necessarily the same for every man, though. I always hope to be treated as if I am the most desirable man the escort has ever met, for the time we enjoy together. As I've said many times since I began this hobby, I do fall in love with the best escorts I hire just a bit during the time we spend together, in bed or out, during both the on-the-clock and off-the-clock time we are together.

 

Now since I am only one client, with only my personal definition of the boyfriend experience expressed here, I'd be interested to get back to the "Ask An Escort" topic requested by the OP. I would love to hear from any escorts out there who are willing to explain what the "boyfriend experience" is for them with clients from their own professional perspective.

 

TruHart1

What a wonderful description of an exceptionally rewarding experience !

[Kinky Boyfriend]

What does BF mean? Does it include anal. Does it include kissing?

The vagueness of the term certainly leads to as many different interpretations as there are clients and providers.

However, I think a general impression can be culled from our individual ones: That BFE is just as much (if not more so) about compassionate mental-emotional affection and interaction as it is about whatever else may take place.

 

For me, it means that we spend time together and there's a general ebb and flow with our physical interaction as opposed to having a laundry list of physical acts to take place. A fair amount of time could be spent hand holding, cuddling, talking about the great mysteries of life, etc --- generally behaviors one may expect in an established relationship versus what behavior one may expect from picking someone up at a bar.

 

 

There's been a couple threads on this over in the Ask An Escort forum - above is what I feel best describes what BFE can mean.

 

Further reading: https://m4m-forum.org/threads/a-true-bfe.139729/

[Wolfer]

There are as many reasons to hire an escort as there are clients. Ultimately everything about this hobby is based on creating a fantasy: the very basis of our interactions is paying for someone to spend time with us who would (normally) not do this without any sort of payment attached to it.

 

So I don't think wanting a BFE is delusional. Is it a fantasy? Absolutely. But so is hiring an escort to verbally abuse you or physically dominate you or even just have nothing else but mutual oral with. I see no difference between that and in wanting to have cuddles and being caressed, kissed and have an interest be taken in me (which I see as part of the BFE).

 

Some escorts and clients recoil at the thought of showing or undergoing affectionate touch or kissing deeply. Others can't even imagine having any sort of interaction without these present. Different folks, different strokes.

 

I agree with @TruHart1 's description. Beautifully put.

[+ SundayZip]

There are as many reasons to hire an escort as there are clients. Ultimately everything about this hobby is based on creating a fantasy: the very basis of our interactions is paying for someone to spend time with us who would (normally) not do this without any sort of payment attached to it.

 

So I don't think wanting a BFE is delusional. Is it a fantasy? Absolutely. But so is hiring an escort to verbally abuse you or physically dominate you or even just have nothing else but mutual oral with. I see no difference between that and in wanting to have cuddles and being caressed, kissed and have an interest be taken in me (which I see as part of the BFE).

 

Some escorts and clients recoil at the thought of showing or undergoing affectionate touch or kissing deeply. Others can't even imagine having any sort of interaction without these present. Different folks, different strokes.

 

I agree with @TruHart1 's description. Beautifully put.

 

When I hire an escort, I want mutual respect and consideration and kindness -- and an honest personal connection -- and sometimes the quiet intimacy that @TruHart1 describes. But I want it without role-play or fantasy. I want us to be exactly who were are. And boyfriends we are not. That said, I can see how referring to "BFE" can be a useful shorthand for some (except that it has so many different interpretations).

[Wolfer]

When I hire an escort, I want mutual respect and consideration and kindness -- and an honest personal connection -- and sometimes the quiet intimacy that @TruHart1 describes. But I want it without role-play or fantasy. I want us to be exactly who were are. And boyfriends we are not. That said, I can see how referring to "BFE" can be a useful shorthand for some (except that it has so many different interpretations).

Ah, I see. Yes, I don't want it to be role-play, either. But BFE for me is a short-hand for not wanting the session be a pump-and-dump experience.

[TruHart1]

Ah, I see. Yes, I don't want it to be role-play, either. But BFE for me is a short-hand for not wanting the session be a pump-and-dump experience.

The fine escorts with whom I have my true BFE's have become my friends (not boyfriends!) and the majority of my repeat hires remain so. There are also a number of repeat hires with whom I have mind-blowing sex but never a BFE. These guys are exactly what I need when I am super horny but only want an hour or two of getting worked up to a completely satisfying explosive release! Lately it seems the guys who advertise as "straight" but are happy to enthusiastically perform every act a gay guy will do, have fallen into this category! :eek:

 

TruHart1

[bnm73]

At the risk of sounding cynical (which I am), I question whether trying to buy an emotional connection is healthy. At best, all you're getting is an illusion.

 

That said, if the illusion is enough, far be it from me to tell someone not to do it.

[Wolfer]

At the risk of sounding cynical (which I am), I question whether trying to buy an emotional connection is healthy. At best, all you're getting is an illusion.

 

That said, if the illusion is enough, far be it from me to tell someone not to do it.

That question can be asked about the whole escort experience. Is it healthy to pay someone to humiliate you? Is it healthy to pay someone to spend time with you? Is it healthy to pay someone to just have physical sex with you but wouldn't give you the light of day unless there's cold, hard cash involved?

 

This question certainly does not only apply to the emotional connection.

 

Is it healthy paying someone expecting there to be an emotional connection just because you're paying? That's a different question and no escort can guarantee great sex or a connection either owning to the myriad of personal differences there are in people. What one person might think of as great sex might be completely lousy to someone else. What I mean by that is that hiring an escort hoping he'll automatically be able to fulfill your need just by virtue of there being a payment involved is not always realistic.

 

But it is interesting you expect that the connection would be fake and acted at best... In this forum there are guys who talk about actively wanting to connect with their clients, even on an emotional level.

So I don't agree that what the client would be getting would always be a fantasy.

 

And I think there are clients here who have built up a genuine (emotional) connection with escorts.

[+ Keith30309]

I just got this from an SA guy and really liked it

 

• Kiss on the Forehead ↔ "Ultimate respect and appreciation ".
  
• Kiss on the Ear ↔ "I'm horny".
  
• Kiss on the Cheek ↔ "We're friends".
  
• Kiss on the Hand ↔ "I adore you".
  
• Kiss on the Neck ↔ "We belong together".
  
• Kiss on the Shoulder ↔ "I want you".
  
• Kiss on the Lips ↔ ..... you tell me ?
  
• Holding Hands ↔ "We can learn to love each other.
  
• Holding on tight ↔ "Don't let go".
  
• Looking into each other's Eyes ↔ "Don't leave me".
  
• Laughing while Kissing ↔ "I am completely Comfortable with you".