Unfortunate Incident with an Escort in Amsterdam

[matt842]

I apologize for the long post, but I had a scary incident recently, and I would like some advice. If you want to skip the details, feel free to go to the last paragraph.

 

I hired a male escort in Amsterdam through Planet Romeo. It was the first time I had hired a sex worker in Amsterdam. In my online correspondence with him, I had confirmed that he charged 100Euro for an hour, and we planned to meet at 10 p.m. that evening. He arrived at my hotel and we talked a while, and then he told me he needed to take a shower. After the shower, he said I should order a bottle of wine from room service. I did not want to do that, because I had a meeting the next morning and did not want to stay up too late. He was persistent so I finally decided to try to order it, but room service was closed.

 

During the session, he said he was planning to go to a sex club after he left and wanted me to go with him. I told him it was too late for me to go out. He also suggested finding someone on Grindr to join us, but I was not comfortable with that either. Later, he told me he had viagra and speed if I wanted some, but I do not take those things. He said he would take a viagra and speed, and I told him I did not want him to take speed in my room. He said he would just take the viagra, and I gave him some water to do it. He got more aggressive after he took the pill, so maybe he took the speed, and he said he was going to spend the night. I told him I was tired and needed to get to sleep, and I wanted to finish. We did, and he took another shower. It was not until then, when I checked my phone, that I noticed it was after 2 a.m. the next morning. I did not realize he had stayed four hours. I had put aside 100Euros to pay him, but while he was showering I decided to go into my room safe and give him all the cash I had, which was 140Euros. When he came out of the shower, I gave him the cash, but he said it would be 450Euros. I told him we had just agreed on an hour, and I appreciated him staying longer, but I had given him all the cash I had. I even got my billfold back out of the safe (not smart, I know) to show him. He then demanded that we go to an ATM, but I refused. At that point, he got very angry and grabbed my phone and said he was going to contact my wife if I did not give him 300Euros more. I was able to get my phone back from him, and he took out his phone and said he was going to call the police. I told him to do it, and I would call hotel security. Then he left but threatened that he would be back the next morning and he would not be alone.

 

I barely slept that night because I was so disturbed by this experience. The next morning before my meeting, I received a call from the hotel’s front desk, telling me that he was downstairs and wanted to talk to me. I accepted the call, and he said he wanted to come to my room and talk, but I refused to let him. A little later, I received a call on WhatsApp (which is thankfully connected to a number from a burner phone) from him, and he said he wanted to come to my room. I told him that we could talk on the phone instead. Again, he threatened to call the police, and he said he was not going to leave until I went with him to an ATM to get 300Euros. In my email, I also had a message that someone had tried to get my Planet Romeo password reset at 4:25 that morning, and I am sure it was him.

 

I did not have any intention of having him stay more than an hour, and if I had realized it was going to be an issue, I would have set an alarm on my phone. I also did not want to cheat him out of money he had earned. However, I did not ask for or want him to stay over 4 hours in my room. If I had even realized it was after midnight, I would have told him he should leave because I needed to get to sleep. I never suggested that I wanted a multi-hour session, and he never indicated that he thought that was what I wanted until after I gave him his payment.

 

Later that morning, I received the following message from him though WhatsApp:

 

“Just letting you know that I managed to talk with Proud the Dutch Union for Sex Workers and I can call the police and i will have no problems with them. Of course, when the police comes you will also have to disclose to them your full identify. I am glad I did not give up.”

 

He also told me where the nearest ATM was so we could fix everything. I rescheduled my meeting that morning and met with a member of the hotel staff in my room. I explained what happened and she helped me leave the hotel without him seeing me and move to a different hotel. Obviously, I have been a bit rattled and paranoid since this happened and have not been able to keep my mind on work here. I even emailed the Dutch Union for Sex Workers to see if he has grounds to go to the police, but their site says they can take a few days to respond to emails.

 

Again, I never asked for or agreed on anything more than an hour with him, and he was the one who stayed in my room for longer than I had requested. I feel badly if he really thought otherwise, but there was no way I was going to go to an ATM alone with him in the middle of the night or at any time the next day or now. A couple of days later, he is still messaging me through WhatsApp with threats to go to the police. I wonder if this is something he has successfully done to other unsuspecting clients who have felt threatened enough to give him more money.

 

So here’s my question for those more knowledgeable about laws regarding sex workers in Amsterdam and the Netherlands: Can the police take action for what is, at best a misunderstanding and at worst an attempt on his part to extort money from a visitor? The times I have hired an escort in the US and Europe, sessions have occasionally lasted much longer than an hour, and I tipped them for the extra time. In none of these instances did an escort ever claim I owed him more money because he stayed longer.

[cany10011]

Sorry that you experienced this. I would have gone to the ATM the next morning and paid him to avoid the trouble. The worst thing to happen is that your coworkers or friends at work (who are staying at the hotel?) find out. At least that is how i would handle it.

[+ FrankR]

I am not well versed on the laws and practices in the Netherlands. If you are truly concerned you should seek local legal advice.

 

As far as I can tell, you have nothing to be concerned about. No crime has been committed - why would the police get involved? You had an agreement, I assume you have a text or email outlining your request for an hour’s service. The escort breached that contract and now you are in he said/I said territory with no actual proof that the contract was amended. If anything, the act of him attempting to take your phone was the crime - it is called attempted robbery! I would not pay any more, I would not communicate with him any further, other than informing him that you are contacting your embassy to identify a local attorney to represent you in the future. (I would do this anyway, consulates do this all the time and they don’t need to know your business, just ask for a recommendation for a local civil matter.)

 

As for the union, it likely looks out for its members, not you. Take any response from them with a pinch of salt...

 

Now, take a deep breath.

 

Post script: the escort appears to be a bully, from your description. You should definitely write a review to help others avoid him.

Edited August 10, 2018 by FrankR

[AshburyGuy]

Did you keep the online correspondence with him? Take a screen shot of your conversation where you agreed to hire him for 1 hour.

[bnm73]

Sorry that you experienced this. I would have gone to the ATM the next morning and paid him to avoid the trouble. The worst thing to happen is that your coworkers or friends at work (who are staying at the hotel?) find out. At least that is how i would handle it.

 

And that's exactly what the criminal was looking for.

 

I use the word criminal on purpose. Because he threatened to go to a wife, etc., if he wasn't paid, it became blackmail/extortion...among other crimes he committed (attempted robbery, as mentioned....possible simple assault depending on the exact wording of the laws there....)

 

(Given the way he was acting throughout the story, it was surprise me if he was actually a member of the sex worker's union, too...)

[matt842]

Thanks guys. I just checked WhatsApp, and he’s apparently letting it go, I hope:

 

No. You know what? That is anger. I will not became the same as you. I won't do anything. Goodbye.

I appreciate everyone’s feedback and advice. I am inclined to agree with @bnm73 and think this is not even registered with the union of Amsterdam Chamber of Commerce.

 

Thank you all again.

[12is12]

Notwithstanding the escort's unacceptable behavior, as a client I always hold (also?) myself responsible for not going overtime. When there's a risk of this happening, I discuss it with the escort 10 minutes before the planned session ends.

 

I'm sorry to say/write this, but I really don't understand how a person doesn't notice that 4 hours are passing by. If it would have happened to me, I'd have paid 400 eur. I probably wouldn't have liked the fact that he didn't hold himself responsible for going overtime (in this case I'm sure he did it on purpose), but he and my feeling of bitterness/resentment don't absolve me from my 'contractual' responsibility/decency.

[sexymonk]

And that's exactly what the criminal was looking for.

 

I use the word criminal on purpose. Because he threatened to go to a wife, etc., if he wasn't paid, it became blackmail/extortion...among other crimes he committed (attempted robbery, as mentioned....possible simple assault depending on the exact wording of the laws there....)

 

(Given the way he was acting throughout the story, it was surprise me if he was actually a member of the sex worker's union, too...)

Amsterdam is one of the scam city! That said there are good guys too! There is nothing to be fear of! These scamster survive on onething and that is fear of people! They play mind games. As far as possible stay away from these goons! However the op should have kept eye on time.

[matt842]

...If it would have happened to me, I'd have paid 400 eur. I probably wouldn't have liked the fact that he didn't hold himself responsible for going overtime (in this case I'm sure he did it on purpose), but he and my feeling of bitterness/resentment don't absolve me from my 'contractual' responsibility/decency.

 

I understand what you’re saying. However, that would have involved going with him to an ATM, a risk I was not willing to take. If anything, I’ve learned to clearly state the length of session I want AND get the escort to confirm it. Then, we can negotiate a longer session before comes to something like this.

 

As for not being aware of how long the session went, between the requests to shower, the repeated efforts on his part to get me to join him at a sexclub or get a third to join us, his requests for wine, his attempts to get me to take his pills, talking about what HE would like to do, etc., yeah, the time did escape me. I know it might be tough to believe, but a few Heineken’s earlier that night and not having had a decent night’s sleep since I arrived, along with getting lost in the moment during the session can make that happen. I thought maybe it was almost midnight, but had no idea it was as late as it was.

[+ nycman]

I'd say legally you owe him nothing.

 

You got scammed, threatened, and blackmailed.

 

It happens.

 

Thankfully you use a burner phone (newbies take note!).

After this event I'd ditch it and get a new phone.

 

Morally, I would have taken SOME responsibility for having

run 3 hours over. I'm sure you realize it's hard for us to

believe that you truly had no idea you had run significantly

run over on the time.

 

Before an escort arrives I make sure a clock is clearly visible in

in the room. At 5 minutes past our agreed end time, I stop and

make it clear whether or not I wish to extend for additional

time. I make sure we look each other in the eye and that we have

a clear understanding of the agreement. Any hedging or vague

reassurances from the escort and I end the session immediately

and call it a night.

 

You were scammed....but you let yourself be scammed.

[marylander1940]

I apologize for the long post, but I had a scary incident recently, and I would like some advice. If you want to skip the details, feel free to go to the last paragraph.

 

I hired a male escort in Amsterdam through Planet Romeo. It was the first time I had hired a sex worker in Amsterdam. In my online correspondence with him, I had confirmed that he charged 100Euro for an hour, and we planned to meet at 10 p.m. that evening. He arrived at my hotel and we talked a while, and then he told me he needed to take a shower. After the shower, he said I should order a bottle of wine from room service. I did not want to do that, because I had a meeting the next morning and did not want to stay up too late. He was persistent so I finally decided to try to order it, but room service was closed.

 

During the session, he said he was planning to go to a sex club after he left and wanted me to go with him. I told him it was too late for me to go out. He also suggested finding someone on Grindr to join us, but I was not comfortable with that either. Later, he told me he had viagra and speed if I wanted some, but I do not take those things. He said he would take a viagra and speed, and I told him I did not want him to take speed in my room. He said he would just take the viagra, and I gave him some water to do it. He got more aggressive after he took the pill, so maybe he took the speed, and he said he was going to spend the night. I told him I was tired and needed to get to sleep, and I wanted to finish. We did, and he took another shower. It was not until then, when I checked my phone, that I noticed it was after 2 a.m. the next morning. I did not realize he had stayed four hours. I had put aside 100Euros to pay him, but while he was showering I decided to go into my room safe and give him all the cash I had, which was 140Euros. When he came out of the shower, I gave him the cash, but he said it would be 450Euros. I told him we had just agreed on an hour, and I appreciated him staying longer, but I had given him all the cash I had. I even got my billfold back out of the safe (not smart, I know) to show him. He then demanded that we go to an ATM, but I refused. At that point, he got very angry and grabbed my phone and said he was going to contact my wife if I did not give him 300Euros more. I was able to get my phone back from him, and he took out his phone and said he was going to call the police. I told him to do it, and I would call hotel security. Then he left but threatened that he would be back the next morning and he would not be alone.

 

I barely slept that night because I was so disturbed by this experience. The next morning before my meeting, I received a call from the hotel’s front desk, telling me that he was downstairs and wanted to talk to me. I accepted the call, and he said he wanted to come to my room and talk, but I refused to let him. A little later, I received a call on WhatsApp (which is thankfully connected to a number from a burner phone) from him, and he said he wanted to come to my room. I told him that we could talk on the phone instead. Again, he threatened to call the police, and he said he was not going to leave until I went with him to an ATM to get 300Euros. In my email, I also had a message that someone had tried to get my Planet Romeo password reset at 4:25 that morning, and I am sure it was him.

 

I did not have any intention of having him stay more than an hour, and if I had realized it was going to be an issue, I would have set an alarm on my phone. I also did not want to cheat him out of money he had earned. However, I did not ask for or want him to stay over 4 hours in my room. If I had even realized it was after midnight, I would have told him he should leave because I needed to get to sleep. I never suggested that I wanted a multi-hour session, and he never indicated that he thought that was what I wanted until after I gave him his payment.

 

Later that morning, I received the following message from him though WhatsApp:

 

“Just letting you know that I managed to talk with Proud the Dutch Union for Sex Workers and I can call the police and i will have no problems with them. Of course, when the police comes you will also have to disclose to them your full identify. I am glad I did not give up.”

 

He also told me where the nearest ATM was so we could fix everything. I rescheduled my meeting that morning and met with a member of the hotel staff in my room. I explained what happened and she helped me leave the hotel without him seeing me and move to a different hotel. Obviously, I have been a bit rattled and paranoid since this happened and have not been able to keep my mind on work here. I even emailed the Dutch Union for Sex Workers to see if he has grounds to go to the police, but their site says they can take a few days to respond to emails.

 

Again, I never asked for or agreed on anything more than an hour with him, and he was the one who stayed in my room for longer than I had requested. I feel badly if he really thought otherwise, but there was no way I was going to go to an ATM alone with him in the middle of the night or at any time the next day or now. A couple of days later, he is still messaging me through WhatsApp with threats to go to the police. I wonder if this is something he has successfully done to other unsuspecting clients who have felt threatened enough to give him more money.

 

So here’s my question for those more knowledgeable about laws regarding sex workers in Amsterdam and the Netherlands: Can the police take action for what is, at best a misunderstanding and at worst an attempt on his part to extort money from a visitor? The times I have hired an escort in the US and Europe, sessions have occasionally lasted much longer than an hour, and I tipped them for the extra time. In none of these instances did an escort ever claim I owed him more money because he stayed longer.

 

Write a review naming him, maybe others had similar situation with him.

BTW, when someone takes a shower at my hotel room the 1 hour starts after he's out of the shower.

[MikeBiDude]

Sorry that you experienced this. I would have gone to the ATM the next morning and paid him to avoid the trouble. The worst thing to happen is that your coworkers or friends at work (who are staying at the hotel?) find out. At least that is how i would handle it.

You would have gone to the ATM with the escort?

[+ Tarte Gogo]

I am impressed that you resisted so strongly and commend you for that.

 

I am not impressed that you let him stay 4 hours in your room though, do you have no sense of time passing?

After the end of the first hour I would have told him: “you can stay if you want but I only agreed to pay you one hour, and I won’t be able to give you more.”

That should have sent him on his way.

[Tonyko]

Sorry but everything this scort did suggests he was a "bleeder" intent on extending the hr you'd hired him for, from lets order wine to the pre shower to asking to spend the night to suggesting going to a club etc ALL of which would have been on your bill.

You are culpable in not stating clearly that you only were prepared to pay for the hour agreed on. (your time is limited you have an early day etc isn't enough with these kind of guys, you have to be DIRECT)

 

I had a similar situation for an Hr hire in LA I was there on biz being put up in an upscale hotel on Sunset and the scort, via personal effects in my room, discovered I was doing what he was in school to someday do, and proceeded to ask a barrage of questions and career advice which I responded to best I could as we sat there for the next 45 mins. (I even subtly pointed out the time and asked if he was okay time-wise a few times which he dismissed, as well as started to make the move to the BR which he halted with another question) Needless to say after we were done he told me I owed him for TWO hrs.

When I pointed out it was HIS doing, his response was "you were doing all the talking".

I said sorry, no, and gave him some xtra (what would have been the tip I'd planned to give anyway)

I was at fault for also not being clear. After that I make it a point to be direct when I sense it's going over time bc of the scorts actions.

[river]

I understand what you’re saying. However, that would have involved going with him to an ATM, a risk I was not willing to take. If anything, I’ve learned to clearly state the length of session I want AND get the escort to confirm it. Then, we can negotiate a longer session before comes to something like this.

 

As for not being aware of how long the session went, between the requests to shower, the repeated efforts on his part to get me to join him at a sexclub or get a third to join us, his requests for wine, his attempts to get me to take his pills, talking about what HE would like to do, etc., yeah, the time did escape me. I know it might be tough to believe, but a few Heineken’s earlier that night and not having had a decent night’s sleep since I arrived, along with getting lost in the moment during the session can make that happen. I thought maybe it was almost midnight, but had no idea it was as late as it was.

First, these experiences are really scary. However, let’s take a step back. You’re in a foreign country with an aggressive person in your hotel room and it’s very debatable how much each of you is at fault. You pay him and move on. It’s understandable you didn’t want him to accompany you to the ATM. But that could have been accomplished when he left and said he was coming back in the AM. Was it worth it to lose a night of sleep especially since this was a trip for work?

Lastly, this was not your first rodeo. Always plan on paying for every extra minute. Let the person you are paying tell you otherwise.

[+ Gar1eth]

Sorry that you experienced this. I would have gone to the ATM the next morning and paid him to avoid the trouble. The worst thing to happen is that your coworkers or friends at work (who are staying at the hotel?) find out. At least that is how i would handle it.

 

You would have gone to the ATM with the escort?

 

I've gone to an ATM with an escort before. Maybe not the smartest thing to do in retrospect. But the guys I was with were mostly good guys. I can't remember any problems. The one problem I vaguely remember was one time when I was out of town. I needed money after a session. But it was going to require more cash than my daily limit allowed me to get. I knew that ahead of time. But I also knew the session was going to extend past midnight when the limit was going to be reset. I'm sure I told the escort beforehand that I was going to need to go to the ATM afterwards.

 

So we get to the ATM after midnight, but the ATM still says I'm up to my limit and won't dispense the full amount. What I had not counted on, my bank was in the Central Time Zone. I was visiting Florida in the Eastern Time Zone. Midnight in Florida was only 11 pm in Texas. My limit wasn't going to reset until midnight Texas time. I was willing to barter -I could buy him anything for the remaining money as the shopping limit hadn't been reached on the card. Luckily by the time we found an ATM, and I had been refused the money, it was only about 15 minutes until my limit reset. So we waited, and I gave him the rest of his fee then.

 

Gman

Edited August 11, 2018 by Gar1eth

[+ Gar1eth]

Sorry that you experienced this. I would have gone to the ATM the next morning and paid him to avoid the trouble. The worst thing to happen is that your coworkers or friends at work (who are staying at the hotel?) find out. At least that is how i would handle it.

 

First, these experiences are really scary. However, let’s take a step back. You’re in a foreign country with an aggressive person in your hotel room and it’s very debatable how much each of you is at fault. You pay him and move on. It’s understandable you didn’t want him to accompany you to the ATM. But that could have been accomplished when he left and said he was coming back in the AM. Was it worth it to lose a night of sleep especially since this was a trip for work?

Lastly, this was not your first rodeo. Always plan on paying for every extra minute. Let the person you are paying tell you otherwise.

 

I'll have to disagree. The escort was obviously trying to scam @matt842 from the beginning. I would have been very reluctant to pay. It also takes two to tango. The escort is responsible for the time as well as the client. It's up to the escort to say "We are heading past our agreed time to end. Did you want to extend?"

 

The only thing I'm still having trouble with is mistaking 4 hours for one hour. If I were that jet lagged, I'm not sure I would have been coherent at all. And I probably wouldn't have been hiring.

 

Gman

[+ Avalon]

Since there is a union for sex workers there - Proud the Dutch Union for Sex Workers - maybe you could contact them and report his unprofessional behavior?

[cany10011]

You would have gone to the ATM with the escort?

No, i may foolish but not that. Usually, i’m more prepared when i travel and carry a lot more cash.

[LookingAround]

How does one get to FOUR HOURS without having a clue?

 

I have a suspicion there’s another side to this story.

[jojo]

matt842, at best you are one lucky guy. at worst you are an idiot....a guy 4 hours in your room!

[+ JEC]

The violent behavior is inexcusable, period

 

That said, there is shared responsibility to

- keep track of time

- discuss how will be handled if you go over time

- you did agree to an hourly rate

 

I doubt you have a legal issue here, even with the threats to call your wife and aggressive (though not violent) behavior.

Going to the police will surely put this "on the record" and possible in the public eye, which I assume you don't want?

 

I liken this experience getting mugged (which thankfully I never have but my apartment has been robbed) .... you feel completely violated and like someone kicked you in the gut.

 

I'd chalk this up to a naive mistake (on your part) and feel fortunate the guy did not get violent or call your wife.

 

We're tinkering at times with the underbelly here guys, do your homework and even then "shit can happen"

 

JC

[LTH]

The only "advice" I can add is if you call Hotel Security, make sure to put the call ON SPEAKERPHONE. I once called Hotel Security on a provider but didn't put the call on speakerphone. Hotel Security offered to call the Police for me but then the guy calmed down a little so I told them no and it's OK. After a few minutes, the MANIAC probably think I FAKED calling Hotel Security and started acting up again. When I call Hotel Security the second time, I was so shaken up I couldn't hold the phone to my ear and had to put the call on speaker phone, he realized Hotel Security was about to call the Police and finally left.

 

So PUT YOUR CALL ON SPEAKERPHONE so the CREEP can hear you're actually calling the authority! I mean it's maybe obvious to some but it never occured to me so I thought I'm adding my 2cents

[matt842]

Once more, thank you to everyone who replied. Your comments and advice, along with writing the incident out and rereading it, have made this a learning experience for me. Specifically, I needed to keep track of time and confirm my expectation for how long the session would last once we met in person. Having a visible clock in the room would have helped, because I never looked at my phone during the session. This was my first truly bad experience with an escort, but I acknowledge that I could have taken steps that would have resulted in a different outcome.

 

I know that some of you still have difficulty understanding how someone can let four hours pass without realizing it, but I want to clarify something: I never thought or said I thought the session had only lasted an hour. I knew we had surely gone over an hour and that’s why I told him I wanted to finish up and get to sleep. I thought maybe it was midnight but was shocked to see it was after 2 a.m. I lose track of time easily, especially when talking to someone, and we did talk a lot. Still, a few days later, I have no idea how more than 4 hours passed so quickly, and I realize I should have taken more responsibility when it came to monitoring that.

 

Thanks again, everyone.

[marylander1940]

How does one get to FOUR HOURS without having a clue?

 

I have a suspicion there’s another side to this story.

 

Thank you! We’re back to the main subject specially when a fuck usually takes around 30 mins.

 

C’mon big difference between 1 and 4 hours.

 

One mores thing, an escort suggesting going on Grindr to get a another guy? Weird!