Racial sexual preference isn’t a crime

[+ Tarte Gogo]

owning it means you have to be honest with yourself that you have a bias...you can't date someone or hook up with someone based solely on their race I think that's a problem.

This is so stupid. I have never heard anyone date X solely on X’s race, there are thousands of other things that make X attractive before you start dating him.

I have also never heard anyone have a preference and not be honest with themselves about it. People lie to others about these things, but to themselves??

Basically I think you are giving advice to empty set.

[Rudynate]

This is so stupid. I have never heard anyone date X solely on X’s race, there are thousands of other things that make X attractive before you start dating him.

I have also never heard anyone have a preference and not be honest with themselves about it. People lie to others about these things, but to themselves??

Basically I think you are giving advice to empty set.

 

Of course they lie to themselves. That's what an unacknowledged bias is. They say to themsrlves, " That's just the way I am, I can't help it, " and some such.

[+ Kman]

This is so stupid. I have never heard anyone date X solely on X’s race, there are thousands of other things that make X attractive before you start dating him.

 

That is what the OP was about.

[pubic_assistance]

My "racial preference" is for people who look different from me....so in other words, I rarely go with blond hair/blue eyes.

I prefer brown eyes, black hair on either men or women.

Does that make me racist ? Probably not.

[MiamiLooker]

Are you a fattist if you're not sexually attracted to fat men?

[+ Tarte Gogo]

This is too stupid, I am out of all race discussions from now on. All your (Americans’) views on race, racism, and racial bias make absolutely no sense to me at all.

 

Of course they lie to themselves. That's what an unacknowledged bias is. They say to themsrlves, " That's just the way I am, I can't help it, " and some such.

 

Saying “that is the way I am” IS acknowledging it. What the fuck are we arguing about???

 

That is what the OP was about.

 

I don’t read the OP’s posts as meaning anything like this.

 

You guys can keep arguing about the semantics of racism, bias, preference etc. I have no interest, it doesn’t change anything about reality: people have preferences due to the neurological paths wired in their brains.

Were these neurological paths build in adulthood, in childhood, or in the womb? It doesn’t matter because you cannot change your neurological paths anyway.

[+ Kman]

Are you a fattist if you're not sexually attracted to fat men?

 

That’s different. For the most part a person can prevent from being obese except for someone maybe with a hormonal imbalance.

 

My "racial preference" is for people who look different from me....so in other words, I rarely go with blond hair/blue eyes.

I prefer brown eyes, black hair on either men or women.

Does that make me racist ? Probably not.

 

Right, I don’t think that is racist. And you are also talking about preference.

[Rudynate]

This is too stupid, I am out of all race discussions from now on. All your (Americans’) views on race, racism, and racial bias make absolutely no sense to me at all.

 

 

 

Saying “that is the way I am” IS acknowledging it. What the fuck are we arguing about???

 

 

 

I don’t read the OP’s posts as meaning anything like this.

 

You guys can keep arguing about the semantics of racism, bias, preference etc. I have no interest, it doesn’t change anything about reality: people have preferences due to the neurological paths wired in their brains.

Were these neurological paths build in adulthood, in childhood, or in the womb? It doesn’t matter because you cannot change your neurological paths anyway.

 

Acknowledging a bias allows a person to choose whether they want to be used by the bias or not.

[+ Kman]

This is too stupid, I am out of all race discussions from now on. All your (Americans’) views on race, racism, and racial bias make absolutely no sense to me at all.

 

 

 

Saying “that is the way I am” IS acknowledging it. What the fuck are we arguing about???

 

 

 

I don’t read the OP’s posts as meaning anything like this.

 

You guys can keep arguing about the semantics of racism, bias, preference etc. I have no interest, it doesn’t change anything about reality: people have preferences due to the neurological paths wired in their brains.

Were these neurological paths build in adulthood, in childhood, or in the womb? It doesn’t matter because you cannot change your neurological paths anyway.

 

Well we agree then neither of us understand each other cause I don’t get where you are coming from. Where are you from, if I may ask?

 

And then also what your general point is?

[Rudynate]

My "racial preference" is for people who look different from me....so in other words, I rarely go with blond hair/blue eyes.

I prefer brown eyes, black hair on either men or women.

Does that make me racist ? Probably not.

 

 

In a perfect world, that would be true. In fact, skin color is just another phenotype, like hair color, eye color, etc. However, skin color has been inextricably linked with the notion of "race" and everything that race connotes. We live in a racist society and it is impossible not to be affected by it.

 

If people were actually able to say that they weren't into a certain skin tone in the same way that they aren't into a certain eye color, there would be no problem, and perhaps in a few generations we will get there.

 

You say you don't seek out people who look like you as potential partners. But I bet you haven't made a categorical decision that all blue-eyed people, forever and all, are unsuitable as potential partners. And I don't imagine you have a lot of stories and preconceived notions about how blue-eyed people are and why you don't choose them as partners. You're just not into them.

 

Because skin color is so solidly linked with "race," it is nearly impossible to make that choice.

[pubic_assistance]

In a perfect world, that would be true. In fact, skin color is just another phenotype, like hair color, eye color, etc. However, skin color has been inextricably linked with the notion of "race" and everything that race connotes. We live in a racist society and it is impossible not to be affected by it.

 

If people were actually able to say that they weren't into a certain skin tone in the same way that they aren't into a certain eye color, there would be no problem, and perhaps in a few generations we will get there.

 

You say you don't seek out people who look like you as potential partners. But I bet you haven't made a categorical decision that all blue-eyed people, forever and all, are unsuitable as potential partners. And I don't imagine you have a lot of stories and preconceived notions about how blue-eyed people are and why you don't choose them as partners. You're just not into them.

 

Because skin color is so solidly linked with "race," it is nearly impossible to make that choice.

That transparent, white/pink skin on a bright "ginger" red-head always makes me throw up. Guess it's because I am racist against the Irish ( for no reason ). j.k.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

choose whether they want to be used by the bias or not.

We are all “used by your biases” all the time, including you, given that they are wired in our brains, and we have nothing else but our brain to choose our paths in life.

If you think you are not used by your biases, you are lying to yourself.

[Rudynate]

That transparent, white/pink skin on a bright "ginger" red-head always makes me throw up. Guess it's because I am racist against the Irish ( for no reason ). j.k.

 

I've made a complete turnaround with redheads. I wasn't into the pale skin tone either. But for reasons that I don't understand, a while ago, it began to seem beautiful to me. I love that lily-white skin with the blue veins showing through.

[+ Tarte Gogo]

And then also what your general point is?

2 general points:

1. The last 2 sentences of the post you just quoted.

2. Because of general point 1., this is a pointless discussion.

[Rudynate]

We are all “used by your biases” all the time, including you, given that they are wired in our brains, and we have nothing else but our brain to choose our paths in life.

If you think you are not used by your biases, you are lying to yourself.

 

I would agree that I am used by unacknowledged biases, but life is an endless process of peeling back the layers of the onion. Every time you get to a new layer, you get to choose whether it will use you or not.

[bostonman]

I've made a complete turnaround with redheads. I wasn't into the pale skin tone either. But for reasons that I don't understand, a while ago, it began to seem beautiful to me. I love that lily-white skin with the blue veins showing through.

 

There's something else that doesn't seem to get talked about a lot lol - but I once got up the courage to ask a redhead about this and he said, "yeah, I think a lot of us have that." It's a particular body scent that I've noticed on the few gingers I've been with - a certain specific muskiness to their skin that I find VERY VERY sexy. Almost a "waxy" scent, if you will. Anyone else experience this?

[+ José Soplanucas]

This is too stupid, I am out of all race discussions from now on. All your (Americans’) views on race, racism, and racial bias make absolutely no sense to me at all.

 

 

 

Saying “that is the way I am” IS acknowledging it. What the fuck are we arguing about???

 

 

 

I don’t read the OP’s posts as meaning anything like this.

 

You guys can keep arguing about the semantics of racism, bias, preference etc. I have no interest, it doesn’t change anything about reality: people have preferences due to the neurological paths wired in their brains.

Were these neurological paths build in adulthood, in childhood, or in the womb? It doesn’t matter because you cannot change your neurological paths anyway.

 

You should read this book.

[Courage]

Being gay and black exposes you to worse treatment than one gets being only either black or gay. It is reflected anecdotally and certainly in AIDS incidence statistics.

 

You don't have to blow anybody you don't want to, but being decent to people is good for you as well as them.

[pubic_assistance]

There's something else that doesn't seem to get talked about a lot lol - but I once got up the courage to ask a redhead about this and he said, "yeah, I think a lot of us have that." It's a particular body scent that I've noticed on the few gingers I've been with - a certain specific muskiness to their skin that I find VERY VERY sexy. Almost a "waxy" scent, if you will. Anyone else experience this?

ugh...I am nauseated right now....yes, that SMELL ! *eww*

[pubic_assistance]

Being gay and black exposes you to worse treatment than one gets being only either black or gay.

That combination gets you special treatment around ME.

Love a sexy black man, who puts out.

[Stormy]

That transparent, white/pink skin on a bright "ginger" red-head always makes me throw up. Guess it's because I am racist against the Irish ( for no reason ). j.k.

Yeah. I don't want to make you sick so this pale redhead will remain locked in the attic. At least my husband thinks I'm attractive

[pubic_assistance]

Yeah. I don't want to make you sick so this pale redhead will remain locked in the attic. At least my husband thinks I'm attractive

I'm sure you're a nice person, ( even if you're hideously deformed).

[+ tassojunior]

it's all pink inside

 

Isn't that on a coin or bill or something?

[tenderloin]

I can be as hyperbolic as you:

 

The fact you don’t see your inherent racism as a product of your environment is mind boggling to me. That gay men have had to deal with all these “crosses” astounds me that they don’t recognize similar patterns in themselves or have empathy for those that suffer similar discrimination. No one said you can’t have a preference but to categorically dismiss one whole group because of their race without looking at the merits of that person?

 

Anyways I’ve NEVER seen anyone change their mind because of this type of discussion on any online message board, least of all this one, so there’s no point discussing it IMO

 

So now I am being labeled a racist without ever having indicated what my preferences might be or might not be. LOL.

 

Let me make this clear for all of the self-loathing, uncertain gay men reading:

 

1. If you deny a job, housing, promotion, or other socio/economic opportunity to a person based on their race, ethnicity, color, gender, or other human classification, you are a racist and an asshole.

2. If you are sexually-attracted to another person based on one of the characteristics above, or dick size, shape of nose, alignment of teeth, amount of hair, curve of foot, etc. you are a human being. Don't let the dickheads in this forum make you feel guilty about your sexuality. Enough other people are doing that.

Edited July 5, 2018 by tenderloin

[tenderloin]

Who said you had to?

The ask was implicit in the statement, and you know that. Not sure what the point of your snarky comment was, but this is supposed to be an exchange. I was sharing my point of view. Do you mind?