TallMuscl37

That’s so true! But sometimes baggage can be too much, and as we all learned from the late Aaliyah tragedy: that can cause 🛩💥 But I get the gist of what you’re saying though. What would you define as baggage? Past relationships? Or just general difficulties that someone faces? I can’t say what I do or don’t believe in, but I used to think holding off on sex would better help me find someone (outside of escorting). But, in Gay culture today that’s just very hard to come across. Usually if a guy isn’t trying to have sex with you, that often means there’s nothing there. However, there’s so many guys out here who go into dating situations like sex is REQUIRED, and that’s what is turning me away from dating. I’m not trying to be someone’s personal escort, as someone here once referred to dating being. I’ve dated guys where they not only want sex right when I walk in, but again the next morning and again the afternoon after that. It’s nice to feel wanted, but I’ve left some “dating” situations feeling like a used cum rag (not literally), versus someone who was developing an actual relationship. And as a sex worker, last thing I want is to be feeling my resources are being “sucked away” by dating someone.

Way too many variables at play here. Especially the "what are busiest days" as that can vary wildly. Though I can say: Friday's usually are consistently the most likely day of the week to get an appointment. If I don't get a booking any other day of the week, I can usually count on Friday. One Friday when I was visiting a city last month, I had 4!! appointments in one day. Almost a world record, but it was spread out evenly from 9 a.m. to midnight... so I had time to relax in between. However Friday in Kansas City seems to always be bookings wanting like before 4 or 5 pm, and I'm sometimes not available until Friday evening. As for competing for escorts time, like @Shawn Monroe said, no point in making up things in your head or thinking stuff that might not be true. People often think we're busy with clients only. Nope. You never know WHAT is going on. And I hate when prospective clients say stuff like, "sounds like you're busy, or your dance card is full" or anything that suggests they're getting impatient and assuming it's because I'm entertaining other clients. On a typical day, I could be doing anything from barbecuing on the patio, to detailing my vehicle, or standing in line at a store, or doing technical edits to my ad or other things, at the gym, the movies, the barbershop, with a friend, at a pool, sitting in traffic, driving, etc etc. Actually client sessions take up a very small percentage of my time spent each week. I'm not sitting in some boudoir with a window facing a busy street, just waiting for the next client. That's a stereotype. Online escorting has given us the freedom to not have to be constantly on the ready. However, lately it seems like I'm often always having to be plugged in: answering texts, RM messengers, round the clock. I'm not complaining to be in demand, but some days I feel like I don't get enough time to focus on myself, because as soon as I commit to an activity or project, a client will contact and want a visit. Which is great, but many don't do it with hardly any notice. It's just very bizarre. One guy contacted me today on RM messenger asking if I'm available tonight. Less than an hour later, he says he can't because a friend is flying in early so he couldn’t host (and I don’t host same day appointments). Understandable things happen, but I did take gym time out to correspond, so that is an unnecessary distraction without a productive outcome. That's why lately, I'm contemplating taking a step to no longer take same day appointments when I'm home locally. Travel wise it's okay, but not when I'm home. I can't stand to be rushed off my feet to meet when I'm at home, in the same manner as if I was traveling staying in a hotel.

I'm not even going to respond to this. Of course I'd hate to brag, but this person I've known since December and he usually doesn't give me less than 400-600 per encounter. And we meet very regularly. HOWEVER, and this may just be the self conscious in me...I hated the feeling that the people in the restaraunt could have been thinking that I was "taking advantage" of him by drugging him up. This is in a fairly prestigious part of town, at a fairly affluent restaraunt. Not a good look, and easy to see why I felt how I did. It wasn't the time or the place. 5 pm on a Sunday versus 1:30 a.m. at a gay bar are 2 different scenarios. You can expect a bit of intoxication at the latter, but the first one: that's just not. But again, I'm not beating the guy up for what happened...I'm just emphasizing why it's so important for it to NOT happen to begin with.

Yeah, even though I was very annoyed about the incident (and believe me it wasn't even close to some of the worst instances of gay drunkenness I've experienced and seen over the years lol) I still tried not to make him feel too bad. BUT, I did make sure to call him out on it, and even mentioned the same concerns. However he was gracious enough to apologize for everything, even though he couldn't even remember anything that happened...including the trip to the restaraunt. I told him that it's not even so much the alcohol, but moreso the mixing of things WITH alcohol that can lead to trouble. I suggested he stick with one thing or the other. Definitely not both, and with diligent moderation.

Okay, for the most part of your post you seem to have my back...but at the beginning it sounds like you're kinda slagging me off a bit. So I'll clarify: My good client/friend does NOT "tend" to lose control. This is actually the first time I've seen him get to this level. Which is good, because it's not a regular thing. Many guys (myself included over the years lol) have accidentally gone over the edge. I also wasn't "just thinking" about my professional image or embarrassment, but that was a by product of the situation. You missed the part when I said I left the restaraunt because I noticed he was dozing off at the bar, and that in itself is dangerous because I've had a friend (same one who is now deceased) who fell ass 1st off a barstool after dozing off at a bar. So immediately at that point, that's when I knew WE had to leave. Notice I said WE, because I was going to make sure he got home at-least. And I even stuck around afterwards as he dozed off almost immediately when we returned. I guess what got me so much about the whole thing, is it was like 5 pm, and he's an older guy. That IS embarrassing to be at an upscale restaraunt and everyone is White and they're looking at the one Black guy with some older White guy who is clearly inebriated. So you're goddamn right I'm going to be feeling more shame than concern for safety...regardless if I feel BOTH concerns at the same time. And we're still not sure how he cut his thumb. I'm hoping it wasn't at the bar while cracking lobster claws. Else that trail of blood would be even longer than from the car to the front door of the apartment.

All good points. Not to mention, I feel especially so in the “Black escort” community (not to insinuate there should be a fine line between the White and ethnic providers). Generally (and not speaking for you or me), I would imagine your average Black or perhaps non black escort doing relatively well for himself, is not going to feel it necessary to immerse themselves in an opinion and Q/A environment. Is it really conducive? Will it open the door to become a target? Not to mention, when guys are steadily posting photos of ripped White guys, and talking about White guys, where does an ethnic provider see a benefit in joining? Add to that, there’s a vast majority of providers who don’t take the industry seriously: some “drug” themselves thru bookings, and are high and strung out half the time. And this is based on fact. So, if they’re doing that, it’s unlikely they’ll find a reason to be in a seeing where they can conference with a bunch of clients for free. As for me: I stay because I like the networking aspect that is built here. I like reading other escort’s experiences, and getting client’s perspectives. I’ve made some good friends here. But I also been limiting my time as well because too much “noise” is distracting sometimes. There’s a euphoria in being completely tuned to my clients, and not always being in the know about what other guys are saying or doing. I think that’s partly why I’ve found it hard to keep interested in Twitter lately (which is where you WILL find far more providers conversing with clients/fans). Once my responsibility load settles down though, I’ll likely put more effort into different platforms.

This isn’t the predictable, “be safe when around escorts because they may rob, steal, give you bad service “ tip. But rather a recognition about how to keep in check any vices like drinking or “partying”, even the use of “video head cleaners”. Had a good client/friend last weekend have too much to drink, too early in the day, along with some other type of THC “goodies” (which I don’t do and have turned down every time he’s offered). We went out for happy hour at our favorite semi-fancy restaurant, and I didn’t realize how inebriated he was until we were already there. After about 30-45 minutes and a couple drinks between us both, he was really going over the edge. Very touchy feely, other patrons looking like what the heck is up with that guy, and at one point he seemed to almost dozed off at the bar. I immediately recognize, especially since he’s an older guy…this is a recipe for disaster and possible injury. So I flag down the waitress and get what’s left of the food to go. I felt very embarrassed and humiliated, not to mention: suppose a potential client sees me out, it almost gives an impression I’m “drugging“ my clients, which is a damaging look. To prove my suspicion, the waitress asks to make sure he isn’t driving 🤦🏽‍♂️ To make it worse, at some point between my client getting out of (the passenger side) of his car and going into the flat he lives, he cut his finger. Apparently there was so much blood that a neighbor called the janitor, and the janitor called the office and the office called the police. And guess who was the last person who was with him? Me. And I didn’t realize the stains I seen on the main entry door was his blood, the night before. Fortunately they contacted him, instead of me. But you can imagine how easily I’d of ended up being a suspect if he bled to death after I left. Even though he’s fully apologized and admitted that he needs to manage his drinking and “partying”, I’m still reeling because that could have really put me in a bad predicament. I had it already happen to a friend earlier this year: he overdosed on drugs, and his friends all pointed to the guy he used to “party” and go out with to blame, just because he was conveniently with him that night, and/or didn’t notice he was dead soon enough or call 9/11 sooner. So I guess the point I’m making is: if you’re going to engage in “extra” curricular activities: be sure to keep it manageable or abstain, because you don’t want an innocent provider being charged or suspected of contributing to any accidental wrong-doing. Unless said person doesn’t care about the implications that could be left behind.

That’s about as annoying when clients text me, hey Jerrod/Jerod! And I be like, my name is JARROD. I’m not changing my escort name any further, especially now that calling cards 🎴 have been distributed nationwide 😂. But I’ve also eased up and recognize many clients just aren’t the best at text spelling. Even grammar goes out the window. It’s almost a turn on how even the most affluent guys will get down to their most primal mating dialect, when reaching out for an encounter. When it comes down to cold Turkey no responses, I try to give the benefit of doubt. Even seemingly stupid questions may just be someone new or inexperienced. But my usual cut off is, “do you party?” Or anything having to do with drug use or purchasing drugs for them. Which leads me to a new thread…

Reminds me of Toni Braxton at 2:10 😂 🎶 You say right now that you're not what I'm looking forAnd what you really need is time to growYou're promising that one day you may come aroundAnd I'm supposed to let that go 🎶

Wait, wait, wait Stop, stop, stop. I appreciate you tagging me so I can have the opportunity to address. But as has already been clarified by another provider here, that's definitely not what I do. The biggest difference being: I'm not picking out clients who haven't even actually contacted me, and then slagging them off. I come across many ads on sites like Adam4Adam, Grindr and etcetera that may contain offensive or distasteful references towards sex workers. I've even come across adam4adam clients who will say in their ad, "I'm not generous, get a job", but then want to contact me and get an appointment. I'll tell them straight up, I appreciate your interest, but your ad was a bit offensive and it doesn't sound like I'm the type of service you're looking for. But that's different than me posting about someone who approached me first, versus a random posting on the internet, that probably could have been written by someone other than the escort himself. As has been said many times, and I've witnessed myself: there are fake profiles, and to hastily assume that the ad listed is even the actual person in question, and slag him off: is unnecessary energy extended.

Well, though I don't have intentions on getting to NYC and Boston, I've started making estimated travels for Buffalo to start. Just first getting feelers before I make the round. I am trying to get out there this month, preferably before the seasons get to changing!

Good points you made, definitely. It is a good strategy to reach out to clients letting them know I'm coming, which I usually always do. Or I'll follow up with previous hits just to remind them. It doesn't always work though, schedule conflicts and general stuff. I have to say: my last tour, despite this post was very much a success, I was quite booked except the weekend of labor day, which was almost expected, which is why I took the weekend off to connect at pool parties and group outings. I had an interesting conversation with a guy over the weekend, who was a friend of a client who I'm friends with. Though he's an attractive Black guy in who just turned 50, he was like, "I never go out to restaraunts alone". When he travels, he'll always order to go or uber eats. We were having a mini debate as to why it's no big deal, even if you are by yourself. But at the end of the day, it's stuff like that which adds to the anxiety/boredom part of travel. Escort travel in itself offers lots of 1 on 1 interaction, but not much in the way of social interaction throughout the day. You can make $1,000 in a day, but still have no one to go out to happy hour or brunch with the next day, because with visiting a city, you don't know anyone where you can quickly connect with. Money aside, there's still the part and parcels that come along with it. I am actually an advocate of going out to eat by myself IF I don't have others to go with. Just last week, I must have went out to eat by myself 3 or 4 times, but by the end of the week, I was at a table of 11. I honestly felt no difference in the experience or how the food tasted. Sometimes I don't even understand how going out to eat has become something to ONLY do with family, friends or dates anyway. Therefore, why do I mind the general population's consensus that if you're out eating/traveling alone, you're a looser or loner, and should be felt bad for?

Sounds fun! It’s been awhile since I’ve done Pittsburgh and DC, NYC I’ve not done at all and Boston it’s been awhile too. I’ll have to assess the markets and see

Oddly enough, it’s not so much that it feels like work…but the things surrounding it certainly takes the fun out of it. Just dealing with hotels (recently booked a hotel for 2 days, only to find out there was no breakfast, and the “1 bedroom suite” only had 1 TV with very limited channels, which was only viewable while sitting on the bed 🤦🏽‍♂️ And then having to figure out restaurants and not always having company when going. Add to that, the opportunity to meet new guys outside is clients is abundant and even easy, but at the end of the day, you can only invest in that person so much considering you may be gone the next day or 2, and you might catch each other if both available. It’s just a lot. Like touring is fun and the money can def be worth it, but it’s just too much work. Not even talking about clients. Because I can literally go from my bed, to my car, to a client’s or hotel bed after traveling for 8 hours. That’s easy. But what’s hard is, what am I going to do for those remaining 16 hours 🤷🏾‍♂️

I do want to get to the northeast! My friends went to Pittsburgh earlier this month, and it woulda been a good way to tour over to buffalo. But alas, I didn't receive a memo. Maybe September will be the month...I need to do my annual D.C. trip as well. Didn't make it last year.

I’m hoping I can say this in a way that doesn’t sound like I’m complaining, because I’m not. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy traveling and going on “tour” complete with travel dates. It’s also a great way to expand and meet new clients. I’m actually on tour this week as I speak lol. Today makes a week that I’ve been “on the road” However, I’ve been doing the travel circuit for years. Some cities I’ve gone to over and over. I’m almost getting to a point where I’m losing the appeal of going to travel to cities, especially if I don’t have a specific friend, overnight booking or work project to tend to. It used to be, I’d have an idea to just go to a city, just name a City and go: But lately, I find the preparation and planning part induces a hint of anxiety, and if things seem like they aren’t going to go right, I’ll postpone or cancel it. Not to mention, the biggest factor is ensuring people will show for their appointments, and as been said over and over, half the time these guys don’t show up. And it’s because of stuff like that, even if I may want to continue the tour and head to another city, by the time I’ve had so many flakes, my spirits are down and I just want to go home and do nothing for a couple of days lol. That said, I don’t know if it’s really possible to not travel in this biz, unless you in a high traffic market or just doing it seldom on the side. Like in Kansas City, the biz is there but it’s hardly sustainable week after week. It’ll be busy 1 week, then slow for 2 or 3 weeks. And like I said in another thread, they hardly ever book anything with sufficient notice there. After dealing with that shit for few weeks, I be more eager to travel again than families after a stay at home order 😄

lol I been discussing this on Facebook while I’m in Phoenix: A dry 100 degrees in Phoenix/Palm Springs is not the same as a humid 90 degrees in Miami or Orlando. Or even Kansas City for that matter lol. I seen trees from Florida being sold at Home Depot lol. It’s hot, but I notice I don’t sweat as much. And in the shade, the breeze is nice. However 110 degrees is crazy hot. And the pavement at night, I noticed it would be at 105+ degrees even at 10 p.m. at night. Though not sure it would factor in much on whether I’d accept a lifestyle

First of all, I never said that I didn't enjoy the job. Let's be clear. I was just asking a general opinion and consensus. Don't get it confused, please. That said, I can care less about what "other" escorts do or don't complain about. That has nothing to do with me. But since you're so curious, I'll tell you one thing: a client of mine cancelled on a fairly popular escort/porn guy who was in town last week, when I reached out and let him know I'm available. When I asked my client how did he feel about that, he said he was very angry and was asking for his entire donation for the 2 hours, to be paid up. My client wasn't trying to do that. However, I suggested to my client that if there's a cancel fee, to do so. So even though the escort was technically competing for my client, I still suggested he do the right thing by offering him something. And I'm having a great time enjoying the biz. Last Friday on a trip, I met 4 clients in one day, all were booked a day prior, even though one did reach me the day of...which I was able to take because it wasn't "can you be here in 15 minutes" type of request....which I don't normally get anyway. But when I wrote this post, I think I was going thru a bit of frustrating moment dealing with my stubborn local market prospects.

I switched to justfor.fans awhile ago. Only fans seemed a bit dated and limited

What area of the Midwest did you hail from? I've been in Kansas city all summer and the summer is extreme oppressive too. Next few days will be 95+ with 100+ heat indexes. I like that I can grow palm trees and other tropicals like in Miami...but the growing season ends in about a month or 2, then the first frost turns everything Brown. Atlanta seems to stay mostly mild throughout the year, but they can get some wicked ice storms. Odd considering having lived in Denver and been to Minnesota...Atlanta seems so far south lol.

No I'm not judging or attacking him. I'm just saying it was judgmental and inconsiderate of him to tell me he wants to go on a date, we had plans on Saturday, which he cancelled because he claims he was tired and in a bad mood from work, but somehow that switched over to a question about what i do for work (in which I kept my whole evening open for, and could have accepted other plans considering it was also pride weekend in town). Prior to this, we met twice...he was sucking my dick within 20 minutes (which technically makes him a sex worker too, minus the money). The 2nd time was similar and he offered to go on a dinner and movie date when he got back from vacation, However, we agreed to reschedule for the next day Sunday...and he didn't even bother to cancel, I reached out to him asking if we were still good and he completely blows me off. So I pretty much missed out on an invite to a party Saturday afternoon, because I told myself I didn't want to attend both because that would have meant me having to commute twice that day across town. I shoulda just went. He wasted my time. It was a very bitch and dick move on his part. But I'm really just past getting upset with men who aren't worth the energy. I even had a good talk with my regular client buddy the day after (which made up for the loss), and was giving him a lecture about how he cancelled on another provider to see me. I told him I was grateful that he wanted to spend more time with me instead, but I wouldn't want someone doing it to me, you shouldn't do it to the other person. And the escort is a popular guy and was asking my client for the full fee. I told him, I can't tell how to spend your money, but give him 50-100 for his inconvenience at-least.

What made it annoying too was, he tried to come off so polite in the process. I told him that façade was very transparent. Especially considering he didn’t have any problem with me prior to me telling him that. What he did for work was pretty obvious, because it was a work from home due to COVID gig. But he was trying to find an exit strategy from his job, so it’s not like he was in the perfect position himself. If I would have guessed he’d of been such a dick about it, I would have taken on some other plans over the weekend, instead of not attending one of the pride parties that was going on in town. But because I needed to get things done, I couldn’t do the date and the party over the weekend. I ended up not doing either. I have zero tolerance for someone who’s not even a client, to waste my time. I definitely won’t be dealing with him again. That’s why I wish there was reviews for guys on these hookup apps. It’s easy to give a one sided story about his ex who was an escort, but I wonder what the supposed ex escort has to say about him! It's just like my "quasi" ex boyfriend who started as a client. Our thing ended badly, but it didn't end badly because I was an escort or he once seen me as a client. It ended badly because he was a bitch and decided to do some fucked up shit behind my back one day.

Short of just avoiding getting close to people who are not in the biz, what’s generally a useful strategy? Just cut ties with someone yesterday who I’d met with a couple of times (though it was off an app and started sexual anyway). I didn’t reveal what I do right away, as the question didn’t come up. But then just out of nowhere the other day he inquiries about what I do for work (And I also am going to be figuring out more ways to shut people down when they ask this question, because I feel when some ask, it feels they’re doing so with some sort of suspicion…and I don’t like that). After I told him, he did a complete 180 on me…saying we should just be friends, canceling plans and then telling me he dated an escort previously and it ended badly. As if that experience speaks for all who are in the industry. It’s stuff like that which makes me not be able to trust people with my business. I try to do things the right way and be open and honest, but it seems like every time, it backfires. I almost just have to lie and deny and have some sort of formula like: if I haven’t known them for at least 4 dates/meets, don’t even bother telling them. Why do I need somebody who I’ve only met once or twice, judging and criticizing me when they haven’t even fucking proven that they’re invested either? So I’m at a crossroads: I can either just not tell anybody else I meet anymore, or I can resolve to only deal with guys in the industry…but that presents its own share of challenges too, because I feel many guys in the biz go thru periods where all they care about is the next client or gig, and less about hanging out and making friends.

Yeah, A4A has gone thru some layout changes over the years. Fortunently they’ve kept their site somewhat consistent in look. Some sites like gay.com and manhunt kind of faded after their site changes. But they also were replaced by sites like Adam and then the apps. Not to mention, the A4A app has come out but I usually use the mobile site…because if you use the app, you might also not be able to see nude pics.

Yeah it’s really crazy. I’ve lost some regulars or previously met clients because of things like that. They’ll talk about wanting a session on a particular day, then go ghost. It’s gotten to where I’ve almost become unfazed about it. In fact, I even went ahead and got a separate number for the initial bookings because I almost need to consolidate the level of initial inquiries I get. And I won’t carry it around at much as my dedicated client phone, that way I’m not distracted by people who don’t follow up as much. I know one line is for the maybes and the other is for those who are actually booking in. Now I’ve just got to get a secretary, supervisor, and HR department 😂