TallMuscl37

I’ve done it before myself, here and there. Like if I knew the guy or we chatted for awhile or had a biz venture in mind. It’s just not something I do all the time though. Some escorts get frustrated with me because I don’t just be like up and ready to fuck when they want me to. I’m like dude, how the fuck you trying to boss me around and tell me when and where to be, this isn’t an appointment. If they trying to do a free hookup, they need to be willing to compromise and find out when a time works best for me. I had one guy in Tampa ask me to meet and make a JFF video, and we had been chatting over the months. But he wanted me to come at 10 am sharp. Because he was too busy and it was all about him. For extenuating reasons, I told him I couldn’t do that…but a later meet or later in week would work. Never ended up meeting. So lately, I’ve not been pressed to meet with too many other escorts. And then one client all texting me the other week, talking about how nice and sweet another escort that I know, is. I was like, ummm…yeah but he’s also a bit abrasive and quick to force his opinions on others…so don’t have to convince me about someone who you pay, because that’s not behind the scenes.

Elaborate what you mean confusing rentmen with Grindr? Like…hooking up with other escorts? I totally get it too. Grindr banned me because some Pansy blocked and reported me, for sending him my Rentmen and business card with no rates on it (which I occasionally have done and picked up a client here and there…always when THEY hit me up first). I don’t have time for that either. Who has time for a site that promotes prostitution, but you can’t exchange money for it??? lol. I mean…the way people ask to send nudes and have partners who don’t (or do) know they’re on there, it’s everything like an escort site.

Well…I was talking behind champagne and a couple of drinks last night after leaving a party that a client hosted, where a couple of people tentatively suggested looking into moving to the area. I can’t vouch and say I’d for sure be open to make that move. I was just in Chicago back in May, and I actually did enjoy myself and the clients I came across. But idk, Chicago is TOO much of a city for me (even though there’s tons of suburbs in Chicago that are like their own small town, which I did enjoy) Visiting is okay but it doesn’t seem like an easy place to get started independently. It’s an old city, rife with competition, and even though you don’t “need” a car in Chicago, I would definitely want to keep mine…but long as I don’t live in the city city of Chicago, it won’t be too expensive. That said, smaller markets can definitely offer more opportunities: less bullshitters and higher donations. But not always, and it varies state by state, town by town. Most small markets in Missouri are wastelands, but Kansas City and Saint Louis RentMen have far more escorts than there are reliable clients hiring. I’m not going to share my secrets online…but the small markets I like aren’t simply big cities with a small town/escort population. I’m talking wealthy, fairly remote enclaves far from the big cities that many guys don’t know about, but clients often “inspire” me to visit them.

Sounds interesting, but to be honest: I’m so over Kansas City. I’m not even there right now lol. I just don’t really like the scene there, there’s some nice guys here and there…but majority of gay guys I’ve met in KC come off nice on the surface, but are bitches when getting to know them. The client scene is rife with flakes, no shows, and the “unreliable regular.” I’m actually considering moving to Arkansas and met some people who could get me in the right direction if I want to.

All good points. Idk how I feel these days. Some days (or even hour by hour) I’m riding high and confident, other times…I’m just so over people’s (clients) fucking bullshit. Like, I try to understand and be flexible. It’s a daunting task for guys to see a provider. Or sometimes people get busy or whatever the case may be. But goddamn, some clients can be such BAD COMMUNICATORS. Even previously met, actually good natured clients can do things that annoy me to an extent where I’m just like, I’m going to block you. I have 3 people right now on “block row” who I’m just debating if I could just go ahead and do it. But I try not to be a prick or burn bridges because I’ve done that too much lately. Like just tonight, someone pissed me off. I told him earlier: I arrived to town, but I’m currently at a event, what time are you looking to arrange tonight? He says no rush and he’s open for rest of night. I text him later that I’m headed to the hotel now and if he can meet me in an hour: he says he can’t meet because of early meetings tomorrow. I said, I asked you earlier what time you can meet, and you never specified you needed to meet by a certain time. If time was constrained, he should have said something either at that moment, or followed back up with me to mention it was getting late and he needed to meet by a certain time. Why do I have to fucking think for these guys and ask: IS THERE ANYTHING GOING ON TODAY OR TOMORROW THAT I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT??? So as I started to check into my hotel tonight for my 1st night on travel tour, I started to say to myself: I quit. I’m done. Knowing I can’t do that now, but I’m just so over it. And then in my local market, had 2 prospective clients reach out: neither followed thru. Some clients expect us to always be available the same day they contact us. Sometimes I am, but most of the times: Don’t expect it. Then, it gets to a point where I feel I can never say no to a booking because if I try to schedule it for the next day, they’ll say yes: and then have some excuse as to why they can’t make it…which again: I understand things come up. It does on both sides. But I feel more like it’s a sign of just them not taking the interaction with much value, just if they are in the mood that moment, but no regard to the fact that we may actually have a life away from RentMen and RentMasseur sometimes. It’s like being forced to take a booking the day and moment it comes in, because if I don’t…it may not happen.

Do you feel having friends among clients/other providers is more or less better than having those outside of the industry? I feel like hookup apps no longer serve a purpose for me. I think about “free time” and the idea of hooking up with guys my type from time to time, but I feel like I have enough interest and inquiries to ads, that I don’t have as much free time as it would appear. It seems like the quality of many gay interactions beyond clients and “good as close” friends just doesn’t interest me anymore. Particularly new ones. I’ve gone thru so much and so many changes over the past year. Friends and fuck buddies who I thought were good people, turned out not to be. I feel I’m at a place where I’m ready to devote my entire sex and social life exclusively around sex work. Is there others out here who can relate, or still recommend to keep a social life outside of clients, etc? For example, I currently have 3 friends who are clients. Sometimes we have sessions, sometimes we don’t. But we still spend time at their house, however they are either 1.5 or 2 years my senior…so they aren’t into the nightlife and social mingling as much as I am, except for when it’s to do with their work or close friends and family. Some client friends I’ve come across tend to be in bed by like 9 or 10 p.m. And that’s when I want to seek out regular gay social circles. But it’s almost always about drugs, excess drinking, and people’s egos and drama. Not always the most productive scene to be around. Not to mention, it’s just so much façade on the apps. Just in the last year, I’ve had 2 guys I come across go ghost, and I reach out down the line to tell me they are/were in a relationship. It’s like, why waste my time on the lies and bullshit? The vast majority of guys from hookup apps I fuck one time, and we never end up getting to fuck again. Why do I need such emptiness in my circle, when there’s clients willing to book more than one session over time?

I’m certainly not negating your experience. And yeah, maybe you did contact him on a bad day or bad time of day. We all have them. I know I have them. I know you probably feel that escort reviews should be as fair as leaving a Yelp or Google review. You can walk into a store, and if a clerk is rude, you can write a bad review without having ever brought anything. Again, I don’t know the details behind RentMen’s determination and review process. But, I think your assessing the matter moreso about the escort, versus the review process. Fact is: you had a bad time with the provider. I don’t know why the person would leave early and block you. Why? Why would he do that? What happened at the moments leading up to that happening? HOWEVER, I do agree that you should still be able to leave a review if someone you hired blocked you, but I also believe we as escorts should be able to review clients (in a confidential way) on the site as well, and I’m still waiting on that…

Because it’s RentMen. They want to be on the escorts side (we’re paying them every month). They want to also be on the client’s side (hence why you get to leave reviews). Issue is, it leaves a midground of, who’s looking out for who? That said, the only way you’ll get an appropriate answer is to contact RentM directly. An escort being rude in an email to you, isn’t going to compel RentMen to get a review published (and who knows, maybe you came off rude so…how fair would it be for RentMen to take sides or play mediator?). But getting actually ripped off might.

There’s many factors that could be involved. Cost of living is just one of them. I am at the disadvantage and inconvenience of being about an hour away from everywhere my clients usually are, when I’m in one of my locations part of the month. But that’s due to the distance, not the traffic. It’s about 60 miles. In L.A., an hour away could be from one neighborhood to the next. Traffic is the limiting factor. Maybe after awhile some guys get tired of the hustle and bustle and having to do the commute and go elsewhere.

I’m not an L.A. based provider, but to answer your question: yes, there is definitely a good Client base in Los Angeles. But as to the other half of your question, reaching that base isn’t as simple as it seems. I just checked and it appears to be 432 active “pornstars” on RentMen. Of course you can subtract the fake ads, duplicate ads, only fans ads, scam ads, and probably end up with just 50 “legitimate” escorts instead. But regardless, that’s still a lot of viewing material and a lot of overall choices for clients to choose from. That said: in my opinion, the L.A. market is not for beginners or high hopes. It’s a treacherous playing field, and whenever I go (which is usually never, except once every 2-4 years) my booking assistant is screening my clients and/or having visits confirmed before I even arrive. L.A. is one of the most cutthroat locations in the country. However if going for other business matters and what not, or including it as a tour…it can be a great time. I’ve always had a great time when I’ve gone. It’s just not my kinda market tho. San Francisco and Palm Springs are more of my vibe.

All valid reasoning. Hadn't quite thought of it that way. But idk, it's always a little uncomfortable being "sussed out". Not that I'm ashamed in any way, but I prefer to offer it when I'm ready. At the same time, it doesn't seem like it's a big deal in the scheme of things. But I've already had, as been mentioned: some people can seem open minded to what I do, but can be a dick about shit when the going gets rough. I would definitely remain discreet, because last thing I need is some gossipy person stepping out of their lane. That said: today and this week as a whole, I'm not at all feeling discouraged. It may not necessarily be the volume I desire, but I figure it'll happen. I'm just going to keep putting myself out there, adjusting my ads, pics, etc. Posting new videos when I can. May not be studio material yet, but definitely something to keep things interesting. I just had a new client the other day and he texted me a great review. So I know I'm doing everything right, I just have to keep on it and not get discouraged. I also am putting together an extensive tour schedule, I expect to end up more busy.

Superb 👌🏾 input. I will say: you’re in San Francisco so you have a bit of an edge being in one of my favorite markets. The money, the (wealthy/open-minded/older) gays and the big businesses are all out there. One could argue that’s the case in Kansas City, albeit on a much smaller scale. However there’s been trips I’ve done to SF where all my clients were outcalls…despite me hosting (though I often hosted in Alameda or SFO to save on costs and have easier access to parking). I may have another way to get an incall place that doesn’t directly involve starting a job (also idk how that would really pull off unless it’s a night shift job because many incall clients want to meet right during the daytime between 12 and 5, I would be at work if they wanted to meet). I had a former client/fuck Buddy with benefits who was letting me move into his place for incalls while he was away out of state for work. But then he started becoming a bitch when I was changing some things to make it more neat and decorative (he was among the younger ones, only a couple years older than me). He thought I should be content with the way he had it decorated (which was more like a old bachelor pad versus the temporary makeshift vintage boudoir look I was going for ). I was so disgusted and annoyed because I had finally started getting more biz, and he didn’t even come down to see the place before doing something very nasty and trivial that ruined the whole flow. Exactly why many gay men can’t be trusted until proven innocent. And true story, I actually did pick up a dead end part time office job years ago in Dallas/Fort Worth. I had needed some money and biz was slow. I eventually quit within a month before they fired me, because I had met 2 clients who paid me more than what they were paying me for 2 weeks of working. Obviously if I look for a job, it will definitely be something more interactive and higher end. I used to not like the idea of retail/clothing, but since many of the gay guys work/shop in those stores…it could be an additional way to get laid/visibility (off clock of course) Speaking of visibility: what would I do if a co-worker or boss sees my ad with face and nudity? Would someone have to revert to faceless pics due to the chance of termination if found out?

Right on. Also too I have Justforfans (JarrodBrandonXX if any interested/collabs). I have a fair amount of videos. Though I think I may go thru and revamp. I’ve always got extra unreleased content and some clients have even been willing participants lol). However, I’ll say a 9 to 5 was not very secure for me. Hence why I left. I always felt like I was living on the edge hoping I didn’t do something to get “laid off” (ironically some people think doing this is living on the edge). I’m not downing the structure of a 9 to 5, and eventually I think I’ll pick up something part time just to fill “space”, but every year when I think about doing it, I get too busy with other stuff (clients, home projects, traveling, model shoots, etc). I spent a couple of nights with a long time friend and his partner. They were both tense about work issues. But for some people, jumping from a 9 to 5 into freelance culture is foreign concept. As long as they don’t judge and support me, I won’t judge and will support them.

By the way: not to discredit your advice. But I am curious: how long were you in the biz and what made you decide to leave?

Curious to ask: how many bags do other traveling escorts carry on a 2-4 week “tour” or just a week? The consensus seems to be many people carry about 1 big bag with everything in it, or 2 bags. Me on the other hand, I’m crazy when it comes to packing lol. I have a separate bag for clothes, shoes, toiletries (I can’t get used to travel-sized anything), and then another bag for “bedroom/entertainment (extra sheet, towels, electronics, candles, tripod stand), and then a dedicated quickie outcall client bag. I wish I could just carry 2 bags, but most luggage doesn’t have enough compartments. Things have a way of spilling and poking and damaging items. And using just 1 bag for everything, it’s easy to end up with a grossly overweight lug pushing 60 pounds (I don’t fly much anymore, but I know anything over 50 pounds it’s going to be $75).

It sounds like an easy solution, but similar to some people who are stuck in demanding careers, I can't just take a a long break. I may be putting out the wrong impression that I only have negative feelings about the biz, but reality is a good part of my being and finances revolve around it. It's not something I can just drop and walk away from. I need a few G's 💵 and several months, to take a break and make a transition lol. I am not ashamed to say I am reliant on my client base, even if some think I don't appreciate them. I do regularly take mini breaks from the biz. Each month, I Covid freeze my ads on RentMen and RentMasseur (So glad they introduced that last year). Sometimes it's just for a weekend, other times it's been for 2 weeks. That said, I do think about other jobs I can do that align with my interests. But it's hard to understand that I really don't have a lot of time to do that. If i need $500, I know how to get $500. But finding the right job, going on interviews, etc etc...that can take months even year or 2. Meanwhile, there's bills and obligations to be paid today. Otherwise, I'm not too much looking for advice on how to get out of the business, moreso what ways others pass the time or stay productive when their escort spirit is not at its best. But thanks though.

Yup, stuff like you mentioned tends to occur throughout my week. Thanks for sharing. Except in my case, when I’m on tour it can be fairly easy to replace lost bookings. In a hotel, hosting, or just ready to go. And usually always centrally located. My situation at home is a bit different, 1 cancelled booking may be all I get that day, or in a case like this week: the whole week. Thank lucky 🏳️‍🌈 🌈 stars for my trusted reliable regulars. That said, I don’t like when someone minimize these things to mere complaints and negativity. Before someone tries to judge, they should at least try to better get an understanding. Some people out in this world don’t believe that there’s a such thing as a disadvantaged market. A person can have all the right things going, looks, personality, marketing. But if they live in an area where not enough people support it…shit out of luck. Not to mention, I live in a heavily a Trump supported state. I still see Trump stuff despite the election is over and done. And outside of the select few closed knit enclaves of wealth In the 2 big cities and recreational/lake goer types in the country, Missouri is a relatively “tight” state when it comes to money. The only business’s I see out here really getting lots of customers are auto repair shops, Walmart, and BBQ restaurants. But speciality shops, and sex workers ain’t making big hits out here. The guys I’ve come across: they do this for “fun” or extra money. So that’s what’s important. People are quick to pop off and point the finger, but they don’t have a real insight into what someone may be up against. Not that I expect it though. At this point, I’m just going to get thru this by marketing my ass off in other markets. I’ve already came up with a tour schedule today, I know that’s just the formula I need to get out of this rut.

Guess what? If that person reads it…great. What does it matter anyway? I’m not calling anyone out by name, number and address. People on here talk about providers all the time. And maybe then that person could be aware of how ‘not’ to book a provider. Matter of fact, I would tell him that myself…and will if I see him again. Nothing wrong with communication. My thing with what you’re saying is: it’s not making much better of the discussion. Question is: are you really vested in sharing and coming up with a solution, understanding the topic at hand and getting an idea of what can be done to improve. or are you just talking shit out of your ass? Because if it’s the latter, you can’t be disconcerted if I don’t eagerly take your advice.

I already have a full life and schedule. I get the jist of your suggestion, but the way it comes off is as if I have nothing else going on. You say volunteer like I have too much time on my hands. And that’s not representative of me. As I type this, I’m busy and in the middle of something. I’m making phone calls on one ear, talking to a clerk with the other, and typing this up. That’s why sometimes I go on random breaks from the forum because I end up too busy. And it’s not just chasing clients that keeps me busy either. But I get it. Whenever I have these discussions, it’s always going to re-direct to me and what I’m doing/not doing versus finding ways to improve the culture. That’s why things are slow to change.

That is true too. But also too, one shouldn’t gaslight the matter and pretend like clients don’t bring negativity and drama into our lives as well. It may not be direct, but I can’t tell you how often I may have been having a fairly okay day, just going with the flow, when a client contacts me to arrange a session and then becomes dismissive or unreliable in the process. Next thing I know, I’m in a not so great mood. That said, I am getting better with it. Like I said about the one strike rule (and others can call it negative or dramatic all they want, but for me I call it a solution to a reoccurring issue). Instead of allowing these guys to push me day by day, I’m not wavering from deposits and I’m taking great pride in blocking and cutting off certain clients. One the other day, a repeat client…called my phone over and over first thing in morning like he’s lost his mind. I called him back, no answer. Then text him. He wanted a session. But he was pushy about scheduling. I told him he needs to be patient as I was in the middle of something and couldn’t drive to him until after a certain time that afternoon. He goes back and forth between doing it or not doing it, then tries rebook and asks if I have meth and he’ll want to meet. But I’m the one with the drama? Right.

No offense taken (and if you have to start off with “no offense”, you automatically know that what you’re about to say has the potential to offend, so why even defend yourself 🤷🏾‍♂️ That said, you’re entitled to your opinion. But if having a discussion about certain things in the business on a discussion forum is unpleasant to you, then perhaps YOU want to change your perspective on it. That’s what it’s all about. Who you hire is who you hire, but I don’t have these discussions in my ad…so that part you’re saying is irrelevant. It’s like saying tourists will avoid going to a state just because a city council meeting got heated. Ummm, no. That’s a city council meeting, and this is a message board. I would hope one would not make decisions solely off what’s posted here.

I can concur with that. I don’t think there’s anything necessarily to be ashamed about if it does comes down to counseling or therapy. I’ve known clients to have done it, and I have even consulted into it myself. However, I think at times one can have a right to feel discouraged or discontent with the state of things, especially as it surrounds their profession or professional circumstances. Hell, when I hear my friends voice gripes about their work…I usually say that’s why I’ve left the workforce and haven’t looked back. I think it’s good to understand where someone is coming from though, before defaulting to it being the fault of the person. Let’s take this real life scenario for example: I’ve been back home from tour since Sunday. Other than my trusted regular “sponsor”, I’ve had 0 bookings. And now it’s Friday. 0. And this week alone I’ve had a handful of obligations/bills/repair stuff to meet. Meanwhile, my RentMen ad that SHOULD be generating prospects, for one reason or another either can’t align at the same time or just don’t follow thru. And don’t even get me started on RentMasseur. Even though I do meet a lot of clients from it, 3/5 of the calls from it are a joke. I didn’t even bother renewing my ad yet because I know mentally I’m not ready to deal with it. Many of my blacklisted clients come from RentMasseur, but being that RentMen doesn’t get as much bookings in this region, I pretty much have to rely on RentMasseur as a co-producer to my RentMen ad, because my RentMen ad alone won’t generate enough business. If it were 5 years ago, I would not do RentMasseur, I’d be doing Men4Rent and Rentboy and the occasional posting on backpage if neither site was particularly busy in the specified area.

It does restrict business to a degree, but at the same time…the days I actually do book set aside a day or 2 to do incalls, only 1 person may show up. I thought about maybe doing something like, I host on a certain day each week (perhaps, “hump” day”), but it doesn’t ensure that I won’t just be posted up in a hotel if nobody can make it. I also have to ensure everyone isn’t trying to meet at the same time, or something like 1 pm if I can’t get in until 3 pm. I’ve had private incall space on more than a couple of occasions, but being I was traveling every month it was counterproductive. I liked being busy traveling, but since it was dead at home…I’d have to send back a chunk of what I made on the go back, AND pay for expenses while traveling. So I gave that up and stuck with the travel lifestyle, but the caveat is coming back home to a place I can’t host from…and in the Midwest, just about everybody wants the provider to host.

That’s facts. And I’m still doing my workout routine and stuff. Right now, the only reason I’m in afloat in my local area now is because I have a regular who gives me a sum every other week or 2. But right now, it’s just a deeper level of discouragement that exercise can’t assist lol. I need things to get better, and people to do better. I also think that I may be pushed to move out of the Kansas City/Saint Louis market this year if the deal for my private incall space doesn’t pan out. At the same time, state to state and city to city, there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of difference except in a few select towns where I know is consistently solid for biz. But I’m also tempted to no longer offer incalls at all when in Kansas City or Saint Louis, and only deal with advanced or same day notice outcalls only. Like I say, I’m not like “starving” or doing “bad”, I just want to be on another level.