TallMuscl37

@CuriousByNature I’ve definitely done some reevaluating. But at the same time I do that periodically anyway. The issue in my market is I’m just limited. Like just today, someone contacts me the day of at noon asking if I can meet at 2:30 (over RentMen messenger at that). I don’t really host and when I do, it’s definitely not short notice. This happens without fail atleast once every week: Someone contacts for me to host or go to them without much notice, and when I try to arrange, it doesn’t workout. I wish I could just take clients anytime, like a barbershop and just be available…but there’s a difference between having 2 clients a week versus 2 clients per hour. Therefore, it’s just not workable to always be available. People expect us to have it all together: a place to host, a phone to be contacted on, and available right away. But they’re not doing their part to make it easy. I can easily host someone: if they contact with notice like a normal person. Who the fuck else do you just call out the blue and ask to come over? This is not a salon, this is someone’s home or hotel. It doesn’t take precision planning. A simple email/text: Hi I see you’re in town/available, I would like to visit you. What’s a DAY AND TIME OF DAY we can work out? And I just got an email today from my bank saying they aren’t going to refund the $93 that I spent on a hotel, after 2 clients failed to show up after I clicked “book” on Priceline, and I had no other reason to go to the hotel in May. But it’s things like that why I won’t double back, every client who wants me to host is going to need deposit until I get situated back into my private incall space. And on my last trip, I had a hotel for 3 nights and it was all just outcalls.

This isn’t to say I’m not grateful for the great clients and fun times I do have, and I know I probably have it fairly ok for the most part in the big scheme of things. But by discouraged, it’s just from a general feeling that I’m still not really getting “ahead” and the biz right now just feels so stagnant. I know part of it is my market and the other part being I haven’t had a “private” incall place in awhile. So it’s just been hotels and outcalls. I’d like to get those things done, but I’m not getting enough bookings each day to make any changes. On my last tour to a city, I had 3 regulars and 1 newbie during a week long visit at end of June. On paper that’s not bad, but over a course of 7 days, it’s really not enough to get anything “done”. It was enough for essentials, bills and entertainment, but nothing like, “hey I’m going to go rent a studio or office space for the next few months“ type of Money. Not to mention, the sites now are so restrictive to me. So much stuff is being censored out, feel like you can’t really be yourself. They’re also not doing much to build a network of dependability between us and clients. And with sites like Craigslist and backpage, there’s not enough hits coming out of the smaller towns. It seems a all the action is centered in the bigger cities. Add to the fact, hotels have now gone way up, and in some repressed markets, incalls is the only business you’re going to get. I’m fortunate that I’ve got a “network” of regulars now, but they aren’t necessarily “sugar daddies”. Plus I like to handle my own. But I wouldn’t mind building up more of a base. It just seems like there’s a shortage of clients especially with apps and more guys on the market. Also seemed like things were a little busier last summer than it is this summer. Are there any new reputable sites that have come up? What’s been the vibe in your city?

One thing I haven’t been able to find is a lobster buffet? However I know in Orlando there’s also a place near the main drag to the parks (Tourist hell lol) called Boston lobster feast. I haven’t been before but stayed at a hotel next door to it. Can’t say one way or the other how it is.

Wait a minute now! Lol. I will totally do buffets (the misconception that buffets are only for overweight/unhealthy people is misplaced…I think buffets are a body builders dream lol). Nothing like an all you can eat after a hardcore chest or leg workout. Thay said, no box wine for me unless a gay bar actually served “White wine busts” instead of these god awful “beer busts”. Considering the alcohol content of wine, it’s more masculine than beer IMO lol. That said: there’s a superb buffet in my home state down in the Florida keys between key west and key largo called Whale Harbor. I went last year pre-pandemic in February with a sponsor of mine. Idk if they had “king” crab but snow crab and stuffed lobster was plentiful, along with a variety of other items: I actually posted a pic of me digging in on my Instagram last year 😂

Right, and I was more referring to your last sentence: I know for a fact it’s happened atleast a couple of times, in one case the client flaked, hired another escort, and then later on seen he reviewed him. In your case, it sounds expected that the interaction doesn’t sound like any harm or foul done. Technically a provider shouldn’t be upset or jealous about a client contacting someone else. But as I’ve said before to others, it’s all about tact. Me personally though: I don’t really get too caught up in who reviewed who. I’m the same way with “products” and even hotels. Even though reviews may be true, I need to be able to get the experience for myself and tell. Likewise, I’m not necessarily eager to read a client’s review of another escort either. Though I do admit that I’ve on occasion gotten tempted enough to read some bad reviews and responses…and some of those BAD reviews of escorts by clients, have actually proven that it was the client who was misbehaving, not the provider ☝

Interesting. Curious to know if any others have used that and if it’s been useful. The challenge I can see with that is you could have people booking times and getting reminders, but that’s not always a guarantee that I can do the time frame. For example say someone last minute books for 1 p.m. and I don’t check into my hotel until 3 p.m. A big part of the schedule process challenge is the fact of some clients having limited windows to meet. I had a regular client reach out to me the Monday after Pride Sunday last weekend. He reached out to me around 1 p.m. But it wasn’t until about after 6 that evening that I was free. By then he couldn’t meet anymore that day, or apparently the whole rest of week I was there. Sometimes I want to 1 strike regulars like that as well. But some can be interested down the line. I had a chat with one the other day in person, that he can’t keep contacting me last minute expecting me to drop what I’m doing and see him. Even though that wasn’t his intention, I told him previously he had done that and then when I tried to arrange for the next day, he ignored me all day and then got back to me in the evening saying he was busy all day. I know I sound like an easily irritable person, which I’m not…but like I said before I don’t like the idea that if I don’t drop what I’m doing, or that if I don’t leave my friends or my “Wine and movie evening” that I could potentially end up losing that client until they decide to contact me or I’m in town again which could be months later.

And that’s why we are currently in the Sesta/Fosta (Google it if anyone isn’t aware of it) era. Many brothels translate to “human trafficking” which is just a legal term for pimping to some degree. Long story short, it’s the reason why Adam 4 Adam no longer offers escort as a pro choice and why RentMen doesn’t allow us to post rates, and markets us as “porn stars”. The brothel’s of today are online. It’s better for the provider and the client. The closest one can get to that nowadays is likely a bathhouse.

And surely down in Fort Bottomdale or Man Diego

It’s not cost though. It’s about who can I trust to properly handle my bookings. Again, we’re taking sex work here. Back in the day, or even now for women: there were “agencies” that took the cut. I’ve never worked for an agency before, but I’m pretty sure it was cut and dry and to the point. However Idk how agencies would handle a client who didn’t show up or wasn’t there when the escort knocked. But that’s why providers take deposits. It’s not to victimize the client. It’s like Uber and every other online ordering service known to man: you pay first, get the product later. And these companies make ‘em pay full price. I just ask for a portion

@purplekow, I’m actually unsure myself the extent of how much my friend knew about “us” prior to this interaction. But he did have some inkling as to the fact that him and I was trying to go in a certain direction. Eventually I sent him a text message a couple days later showing how the “fuck Buddy” double backed in Chicago…claiming he just wanted to be friends with benefits despite going on a vacation together and introducing me to family. Followed by, “I’m not looking for anything serious, especially with anyone under 40”. He’s an opportunist. Even though I wasn’t mad at my friend, I was trying to let him know it would have been a bad move for him to sleep with him also. The guy hooked up with me, and then proceeded to ask me 2 or 3 times whether I was positive AFTER the fact. Instead of just taking my initial answer as fact. My friend who came to visit is HIV positive. So I was like, why would I even sit there and watch him go down that road? Absolutely not. As for a 3 way: I have done 3 ways with friends, but that’s general in a capacity to where neither of us have had prior connections with the guy. But I have reached out to a couple of his friends he introduced me to, to tell them how he had acted towards me. He introduced me to a couple of his friends and was trying to “promote” me to them since I do massage and they previously expressed interest in having one. But I told them, just because he did that doesn’t mean he’s gets a free family and friends pass lol. He initiated those connections. It’s like someone inviting you to their home, and then that person just shows up unannounced to your home and says, “I had you over for dinner, I should be able to just come over anytime I want now!” That said: I’m still friends with my friend, and he understood that the guy was a jerk because of how he talked to me. The “fuck Buddy” I told him I’m done and did NOT accept his apology. Here’s the lowest form of trash out here in Kansas City (and there’s a lot of it here). Has a lot of charm and fakes a good catch on social media (even posting the pics the 3 of us took at the mall, completely omitting the fact that neither of us are dealing with him anymore).

Similar to the other thread about 1 strike and our clients (and I believe I’ve gone ahead and blocked this one), this person contacted me at a later hour and expected immediate service, then wasn’t willing to give me an hour to get to him. Not to mention, he was in a suburb of Kansas City outside of the main metro. Maybe he got flaked on by another provider, which is why the call came last minute. But he also claimed to “possibly” be able to book me the next day, which never happened.

Considering this is “ask a provider”, I figure I could chime in. Of course I disagree with the sending money ahead of time equating to being a predator or red flag. Rather critical verbiage. I actually state in my ad that new clients may need to confirm (hard to say “deposits” in many ads these days). Just like clients may come across fake providers, so is the case of escorts coming by fake clients. And A4A is among the top for having flaky clients. As for verifying: I use my Jarrod Brandon name in my ad and include my JFF handle. A profile with an actual name is likely more true than something with a screenname sounding name.

Thanks @Monarchy79 and others for the replies. You were spot on right that the very fact of me introducing them was something better left undone, and I knew that. I was more expecting it to be a case of them not getting along (I told my friend about he would talk down to me even prior to me introducing them). But I should have known, whether they did or didn’t get along it would have been a recipe for disaster. I did mainly as a test: but I should have grabbed my friend and walked away much sooner. Also to add: this fuck buddy didn’t start off as a client or in that capacity. He added me on Instagram or vice versa and somehow we connected on there. But our initial meet was a date that lead to some wild sex lol. We had also linked up again a couple weeks down the line As to @jeezifonly and @jeezopete, I did flip out but it wasn’t simply because of him trying to get with my friend. I had a client waiting at home, and other interests. I flipped out because the former “fuck buddy” guy responded with hate filled rhetoric in public. Then when I tried to talk, he continued…adding in, “you’re a sex worker” in some attempt to gain additional leverage that he should have a free pass to my friend. My disagreeing with it wasn’t out of jealousy, control, or being a cock blocker. It was out of the fact that fuck Buddy wasn’t sincere about our initial starting point, and for him to graduate on to my friend on the first introduction…was in bad taste. If any of you 2 agree with that, I would have to wonder your level of integrity as well. I’ve been introduced to a lot of friends of clients and/or fuck buddies. It is just common sense that you never go and try to sleep with someone’s friend/partner who you fucked/dated UNLESS the person who introduced you says it’s okay. I’ve had that happen before successfully. Or at the very least: do so in a capacity that’s somewhat discreet. I would have been totally fine with them hooking up clear out in Chicago down the line. But not on a town stroll in Kansas City while my friend is just out of a bad relationship, and visiting me. That said, @Monarchy79 I’m on the same train as you: I’ve really cut down on drama llamas myself. I had a really toxic but long time on and off friend pass earlier this year. He was a great friend part of the time, but majority of time was toxic, abusive, and unsupportive. We ended on a bad note. It made me realize more, lot of these guys out here are not just toxic to others but to themselves. They’re liable to bring that same toxicity into their friendships. So now when I come across a friend who’s constantly pushing me to the edge, I let them know I’m no longer interested in the interaction (this keeps me from hanging onto the friendship, only to have it surfaced later). I’ve already let go about 5 “friends/fuck buddies” this year alone.

Thanks all for the perspectives and replies (though a couple I was confused about e.g. the provider who had 3 bookings all in 1 line). Doesn’t really sound like anything bad happened, I wouldn’t of immediately blocked the client over that. But if it was a case where the person said they would contact at a time that night and didn’t, that’s when I would find it inconsiderate. I just got back over the weekend from doing my rounds in Denver. I was glad that 4 clients who booked me followed thru. I had 2 regulars who quasi-flaked on me. Seems like they wanted to meet, but couldn’t front the time. However, I did come across 1 person who did something so annoying, I didn’t have to think twice about blocking him: I’m at a nice Sheraton hotel, he CALLS me in the morning (and for this reason I keep reminding myself why I don’t like to take phone calls). Tells me that he is in the area, and I can see it based on the Adam 4 Adam locator that he was. He wants to come “now”. I’m like, I can see you in 30 minutes at 11. Then he starts saying like that’ll be too late. Then I tell him he can come over now and wait in lobby, I can see him in 15 minutes. Says he’s going to get cash, but then backs out while on the phone, with some excuse. Then says he’ll contact me next time I’m in town. I blocked his A4A and number shortly after. And like @italianboyph and @HoleTrainer said, some of these guys get off on the idea of chatting us up and may even flake again down the line. I also have read that since the pandemic, stuff like flight attendant abuse and inconsiderate drivers have been on the rise. What doesn’t get reported: treatment of sex workers and masseurs are also likely worse. It’s not necessarily physically abusive, but it’s definitely an increased aura of it…at the same time it seems like the calls have gone down since many states have reopened. I was actually a little busier during the start and middle of the pandemic than now. But my overall tolerance for bullshit is down. I also get tired of arguing and getting into debates with clients over the phone about whether or not they believe they made an appointment or not. If a person didn’t want to make an appointment, then why the hell bother to contact a provider to begin with. And even though the suggestions about delayed replies and not taking late messages are golden advice, many or most of the “now” requests come at morning and lunch hours. I periodically put my ads on freeze, and even though 4th of July weekend might of been a good time to post up for some clients, I opted to take down my ads or not renew. Holidays can bring clients, but also bring about people with too much time on their hands.

this is me 100% I actually carry a designated “client bag”, but have gone thru a few over the years. Recently I decided not to carry a “client bag” when I’m traveling because it just adds to my bags. In addition to the things you mentioned, I also may have to pack a bottle of wine and change of clothes. It’s been hard to find a sturdy bag that won’t be too heavy or fall apart. I see a lot of bags at the discount stores that look great, but they just fall flat because some are packed with tissues.

Pretty much as said. And I’ve seen first hand guys using fake pictures and turn up as someone else. All turned out to be well, but my thing is when a client does disagree…then turns the guy away and a confrontation ensues. A client of mine told me about this once. The guy pictured was a hot guy, but who showed up was some old guy. When the client turned him away, the “escort” gave him a mouthful. Scary situation indeed. I’d even say some people may think clients are so desperate that they’ll take anyone regardless of the photos. Maybe back in 2002 that was okay when print was out and photos were uncommon in escort ads. But definitely not these days.

Thanks for your perspective about conventions. And I can understand it being problematic. But that’s why I’m taking the steps to give instruction. Unfortunately, their convention variables shouldn’t be my problem. I didn’t call them, they called me. So it’s not fair to just expect to boss me around and be there at the drop of a dime with no ability to plan. They should have thought ahead of time, contacted me ahead of time, and figured it out. There’s no reason I should just have to drop everything and immediately see them, or live in fear that if I don’t, the appointment will never work out. And I definitely don’t like having to leave my couch/bed after 10 pm for some last minute outcall appointment that I had no idea even two hours ago, that I would get.

Okay first off: I don’t say 4 hours notice because I may not always need 4 hours notice. I’m being concise and direct, by saying I need 2 to 4 hours notice lol. I say that because sometimes I may need 2 hours notice, other times 4. It may be somewhere in between. Just imagine: I sit around all weekend, no bookings. Then, the moment I decide to accept an invitation from a friend to do or go somewhere, a client texts out the blue asking if I’m available. With the disclaimer, they need to be willing to allow 2 to 4 hours notice before I show up. That’s the whole point of it. So I don’t have to drop or cancel what I’m doing to dash out for a client, who might just cancel or not follow thru anyway. I also DID confirm the time with this last person. I had just fucking told him the night before, that I can do after 11 p.m. He specifically said he can do either early afternoon or at night after 11. That’s the times he gave me. Then the next day comes, he’s telling me the conference was hectic and that he’ll reach out if he can commit to a time. What the fuck kind of bullshit is that?

I can understand your locksmith analogy, but that’s different. That’s an emergency line of work. I would rather it more relate to friends and family, because they are individual people…versus a business that just operates on a 24/7 basis. Obviously that business will rely on last minute callers. In my case: I’ve had time and time again, clients who contact for appointments, even if it doesn’t “seem” like there’s a specific time, we agreed on meeting and they flake. I don’t block their number, then they come around couple or few months down the line and do it again. How many chances must I be willing to give? Would this same person contact their relative last minute to say they’re in town, and then bail? No. So why the F would they even think for a second that it’s considerate for us? In addition to mentioning my deposit rule, I’ve also just recently added BE PREPARED TO BOOK AND PLAN IN ADVANCE. IF YOU CONTACT ME WITHOUT NOTICE, BE PREPARED TO WAIT AT LEAST 2 to 4 HOURS. I didn’t say it in all caps, but that’s the message I’m trying to get across. I really don’t understand why people don’t get it. I’m not just sitting around, waiting around on a corner for someone to pick me up. It just really gets to me that I have to constantly miss appointments throughout the week because some people don’t bother to put any sort of thought or planning into appointments. But I also think the big part of it is working in Kansas City. I’ve said before this is still one of the worst markets in the country to be an escort in. Majority of the responses are last minute, unplanned, and not much notice.

That’s true…the 2nd part. But in my case, it’s more of just the overall. Those few seconds of texts can add up to hours and days when it happens often enough. I do feel unnecessarily annoyed, but at the same time I get it quite a bit in my region. Parts of the Midwest are notorious for the bullshit. But I thought it was getting better. It would be different if I was getting bookings round the clock and didn’t notice it, but I only receive 1 or 2, maybe 3 appointments a week when I’m not on tour. So anyone who doesn’t follow thru on an appointment is going to show up on my radar pretty clear.

Well it sounds scripted, but it’s always good to have a plan and understanding in mind. It doesn’t have to be verbatim, but you can switch it up as either pleases to.

I know it sounds harsh, but I’m along the fence of adopting it. This mainly goes for these type of bookers: they contact for a session, and then it seems like can’t seem to pin down for a time that isn’t “right this moment”. I’ve had a couple of people do this recently, and have been sure to block. Examples: they are visiting or even local. They contact for a session, but not willing to give enough notice or schedule a mutually convenient time. Usually this tends to be the late evening requests. Like yesterday I had someone reach out just after 10 p.m. for a booking asking my availability. I wasn’t expecting an appointment considering no one called all day. Knowing it was late and I wasn’t ready to take the booking, I mentioned I’m free the next day after 6. Next day I text back to follow up, only to be told he likely can’t do the visit due to conference. I know it sounds petty to get annoyed by this, but it really irritates the shit out of me…and I just end up blocking him. For one, the person had no decency or respect to contact with notice that he was coming to town and looking for a session, then he didn’t even follow up or keep the plans to meet. A client like this, I don’t even want to leave the door open for a future session because I find more and more when they do it once, they tend to do so again. So with that being the case, I’m leaning towards the one strike rule. I know other businesses give more chances, but as I’ve said before: we are often just 1 person handling a lot of traffic.

I have come across it from time to time. However between doing deposits for new clients and doing my own screening process, it’s rare that I’ll need to use the reviews to verify a client. Not to mention, I can’t guarantee every escort would take kindly to another provider reaching out about a current or former client…and some providers may not want to take a client again if they’re out looking. I know it sounds crazy but… I know there was a client I seen who had reviewed another provider I knew. All was well. But then he flaked a couple of times on me. I then learned he hired another friend of mine. At this point I’m not willing to see him as a client anymore because he isn’t consistent with and evidently contacting other providers also.

That’s true enough. And for the most part, I don’t particularly have a “friends off limits” clause…but with this particular person in this particular situation, it was in a bad taste. I’ve occasionally had clients introduce me to their friends. In some cases, the client initiated and/or gave the way that it was cool that him and their friend (or even partner) could hook up (usually with the client involved in it). However, in majority of the cases I would never come onto a client’s friend that I was introduced to (and let’s be real, many clients don’t introduce us to their friends and family). I asked a client about this the other day, because he has introduced me to a friend of his and we occasionally hang out TOGETHER. But he say it would be a BIG ISSUE if I were to make a move on his friend or even Vice versa. It’s not, “oh I’m a sex worker and you’re a client, so the hell with basic integrity. If me and your friend want to fuck, by all means .” That’s so far from reality and respect. Not to mention, my “friend with benefit” apologized for insulting me (and by insult I mean him using explicit verbal abuse for the very fact that I even expressed by disagreement)…but he failed to understand why I had an issue with him trying to game my friend: 2 months after we had just had full on flip flop sex, and he waited until we hooked up a couple of times to say he wasn’t looking for anything serious, but yet was always wanting to spend time around me, even doing a trip together. It was very sleazy, and too soon. As for drama: I’ve learned that unless one removes themselves from all gay congregating activities that revolve around meeting/dating (bars, apps, etc) there’s always going to be some degree of drama. I see many of my older clients and they’re drama free mainly because they don’t do bars, apps, socials or any type of Gay stuff. Just family and long term friends. Which is understandable in your 50s and 60s, but at early/mid 30s…unless you’re fortunate to have a partner, you have to do what you have to do, otherwise life can become extremely lonely, and sadly even innocent connections can lead to shit shows. A lot of gay guys out here are messy, especially in cities that are surrounded by intolerant, gay repressed towns because gays are taught they are nothing but a sexuality…and that other gay men are only good for the purpose of sex

I had to explain this to someone the other day. There seems to be this stereotype that just because a guy is a sex worker, that basic guy code goes out the window or that we don’t have any kind of clout when it comes down to decency and integrity surrounding sex. In this case: it was a guy “friend” who I had previously messed around with on 2 occasions (and each “occasion” involved us messing around 2-3 times each). However, this wasn’t years ago, this was over the last 2 months. For whatever reason, we drifted from having sex and just remained friends. Forward to last weekend, I introduced him to another friend of mine who I’ve not had any sexual flings with, except a once off 3way couple years ago….and it didn’t really involve us touching each other lol. I was glad they got along, but then I was noticing my “former fuck buddy” friend was coming on to my friend from out of town a bit too strong as the night progressed. When it became evident he was trying to stage a hookup, I stepped in while my friend was away and implied “guy code” and told him I wasn’t introducing them to be a match maker, but for the purpose of exploring the city. Next thing I know, the guy starts going in on me with verbal assaults, stating I’m this and that and don’t own either of them, including adding that I’m a sex worker so why should it matter, to somehow get leverage and condone that it’s okay for him to sleep with my friend…when we had sex on the 1st meet and known each other after that for only a couple of months. Eventually I snapped and had to remove myself from the situation, and my friend who was visiting was blown away by the blatant disrespect and wanted no part of the interaction. All this happening in a public rooftop bar at that! Needless to say, I felt blindsided and appalled at the fact someone seems to believe that being an escort means not having any sort of integrity. He conveniently pointed out that he introduced me to one of his friends who was interested in my erotic massage: But I told him that’s different because he initiated that and all parties were okay with it. But it doesn’t mean one can go help himself to a family or friend in a setting where it was not intended. And basic guy code is: if we had any type of “intimacy” at any point in the near past, one should never make a move on that person’s friend (or family, or random guy on street when you’re together) UNLESS it just happens to be agreed mutually by the 2 people who originally fucked. It’s just basic respect. But even gay culture itself doesn’t always respect that. That’s why when I did bars more often, there was always someone breaking out in a fight and it’s usually the 2 guys who are “together” and one decides to make a messy move which causes it. Adding: the guy even threw out “we’re guys”. As if it means nothing when it comes down to Herero/gay circles.