TallMuscl37

I probably make this post every couple years. But guess it’s time again. The infamous A4A. Once known for allowing escort and hookup ads in the same place (unlike many apps today). Now it’s just masseur and miscellaneous that’s able to be posted. But once again, I find myself considering to stop advertising on there, I’m looking at my number of bookings from there city by city, and it’s looking not great. I still get clients from it, but it’s at such a reduced volume . Despite it being $30 a month to advertise, it’s still $30 and a lot of logging in to get placement. They also did something with their City/search lookup that requires users to go by county. Sounds very governmental and limiting. Many users are using the A4A app and seem to not be able to see my nude pics for some reason. So I don’t know. The site has potential, but I’m considering letting it go. Plus I always have a full inbox, but very few are booking anything. I even have my number in 2 places on my ad. People still message me on there instead of texting me to book. I usually don’t have time to stay glued to it all the time. Any others using?

I always wonder how that would work though. Or if it would work. I mean, I’m sure it does but idk. I’ve been “suggested” the offer to become a flight attendant and even met friends and clients who are in that business. But I’d imagine it hard to really be an escort and a flight attendant at the same time. In some ways I do feel like a flight attendant already, especially going on tour city to city lol. For example: I met a guy one year who was flight attendant. He flew into Phoenix at 4 p.m. and was out by 5:30 a.m. (I’m also not at all privy to moving and shaking at insane hours of the morning…it makes me nervous and irritable for some reason). I’m thinking to myself, what if I was an escort doing that? With the way clients contact us so unpredictable (or many can only meet between a narrow window of time during the daytime, God forbid a flight gets delayed) and without much notice, I can’t even see how the 2 would really interchange with each other. Meanwhile I was in Phoenix for like a week or 2 to give people a chance to recognize my ad and book me. I’d imagine with flight attendants you’d get the stray last minute client here and there, or the occasional advanced booking if you know there schedule or visit regularly.

So, there was once a site called Men4Rentnow.com that did a similar feature. Clients would post (albeit it was kind of a Craigslisty kind of way with very limited lines that wasn’t helpful) what they wanted and the rate they were willing to pay…and we could browse those listings and reach out to them. Its not a “bad” idea, but how effective it is would depend on how specific the search is. However, you may want to try Adam4Adam.com. This gives you chance to browse providers and “wink” at them or imply that you’re open to a “companion/generous”. However, it’s a bit harder deciphering who’s who and best to stick with paid pro members, versus random hits asking if you’re “generous”.

Thankyou! I’m ready to next level everything: it’s already off to a great start (though the actual day of my birthday I’m just catching up on some loose ends, no pun intended 😉

I can imagine. And this is not to be judgmental because I’ve been there: literally AVAILABLE NOW and all day/all week waiting and waiting for a client to call. It’s not a good place to be, and actually had it occur last week when I was posted in a hotel in Arkansas. I shoulda stayed at my friend’s place, but it was a Friday night and a previous visit to the town got me a couple of clients. But to see someone “available now” all the time does make me feel like maybe business is slow for that guy or they are really in need of a client. Which again, not judging…nothing wrong with being available now. But if every time I log on I see the same escort “available now”, it does make me wonder.

Thanks for sharing your perspective. May I ask: how often do you find looking for “now” works out versus booking in advance? I am going thru my phone currently, as I’m now going to have (3) phones: 1 for personal use, one for clients, and one for my ads that I’ll be separating from the 2. One thing I noticed: I have 105 blocked numbers. 105! It may sound crazy and I’m considering redeeming all of these and starting fresh, but some of them are blocked because they refuse to book with any sort of notice even when suggested to do so. And I’m not just talking about being contacted the same “night”. But contacting me at like 7 a.m. asking if I can meet now. One guy kept messaging me at odd hours, and even though we had a fun 1st session..I blocked him because he would constantly contact me at the last minute, and each time it was an inconvenient time. I was like, if he can’t bother to use some common sense and find out a mutually agreeable time, I don’t want to deal with that.

This topic is quickly reverting to a topic about bathhouses, which isn’t the message. This sums it up well. But likewise there is no comparison. I’d say Grindr unfortunately is a bigger effect than bathhouses are. However, it’s still the same concept. I do know clients who talk of going to bathhouses, and they may call me before or after going anyway. And like you said: this thread hypothesis fails to address the biggest caveat: many cities outside of the NYCs DCs and San Frans, don’t have bathhouses as it is. I was in Arkansas last week in the middle of nowhere. You know what the bathhouse was? A Gay couple who owns a large home and pool. So, whether bathhouses open or close, Gay guys will be having sex parties (or gatherings where it involves wearing underwear around other men) regardless. Even in Orlando, the one big bathhouse by the name of club Orlando, I’ve browsed there and it’s not conducive. Also, many clients are often looking for sex during the day hours. Bathhouses often have slim pickings that time of day. You can probably pick up someone for sure, but it’s just enough to get you by usually. Bathhouse sex is like eating at McDonald’s until you have time to go out for Prime Rib 😂

https://www.oxfam.org/en/brazil-extreme-inequality-numbers

That can happen too, as well. I know last week I drove to a city and a client contacted me the 1st day I arrived. I was SOOO grateful because my other 2 contacts flaked and left me high and dry. It was a well reimbursed session, and I left town the next day because I didn’t expect anymore bookings. In fact, this guy had apparently seen me for years, but we were never in the same city. So by no means should anyone feel rude for asking if an escort is available “today”. But don’t do it if you have the option to plan ahead though. Of course, I’m probably wasting breath speaking of it. Some people intentionally don’t plan anything in advance. And I find Kansas City is an all time worse place to expect it. I’ve even had hookups with guys who are like, “I don’t plan hookups in advance”. It translates to: I don’t actually give a shit about the guys I meet, but I want them when I’m ready. The sad byproduct of repressed and shunned homosexuality.

That’s just the stereotype of gays. And I learned long time ago, Pride has nothing to do with being gay anymore. It’s akin to Gasparilla, Mardi Gras, and Christmas parades. With just a gay twist on things. It’s simply a holiday to dress wild and act out of element. But once people get that, they’re less likely to put too much expectation on it. What the news doesn’t cover: is the straight guy sitting next to his wife, texting me about how much he wants to feel me inside of him. Report that 📰 😆

#1: get rid of that whore bag roommate of yours: Or at-least tell him no more guests for sex. people like that are toxic. I specifically let go of a friend (who was also a former roommate) earlier this year for that reason. We would plan trips together and share a hotel room, and immediately he would be on a quest to have 1 or 2 guys over. Occasionally I would even partake, but I'm not about to be a spectator to someone's sexual addiction. Eventually I had to separate because he was always on a sexual quest, and we weren't even fucking. #2: stop fantasizing over artificial types of White men. Same with the guy mentioned above, he was always chasing White dick. I'm not trying to be racist, but the issue is people build this wall against themselves when they are constantly trying to put others of a certain look on a pedestal. All it does is perpetuate superiority complex, and does nothing to level out the gay community as a whole. #3: if Boston is not conducive to what you are needing, consider relocating. I know non of these are quick decisions...but maybe you'll find your place in a different state or city: Midwest, Arizona, even San Francisco (if you prefer big cities) all offer a smaller older community while having decent offerings. I will say though, the guy pictured looks hmm hmm good! BUT, just know that a guy of that type is likely going to want someone of similar attributes.

Same as what @Jamie21 said. This situation is different. It's also overseas travel. As for clients cancelling an advanced arranged booking...that too can be disappointing as well, and I even get clients who will say, "I don't book in advance because I don't want to look like a flake if I end up having to cancel". That's all in good faith, but I still believe even a little planning is better than non. Again: I understand the typical stereotype of gay sex and prostitution, is last minute...on the spot sex. Even many porn videos portray sex as easy as picking up the phone, or giving a stranger a winky 😉 eye. And boom, awesome sex just happens that instant. And sometimes it does. I've had great sessions that were not made in advance. But, people gotta let go of the fantasy part when scheduling us. I don't buy the "Idk when I'll be horny" excuse. You know if someone you like pulls out a dick, you'll be horny and want it in you. Then again, I understand a good majority of my client base are bi-married men in their 50s and 60s with fluctuating libidos. Maybe they do have to feel some external or internal trigger to want to have sex with another guy, which may happen spur of moment. I wouldn't know how it is to be programmed like that. I can be horny on the spot or in advance, it doesn't matter. What does matter is, finding out which I can accommodate at the moment of contact. Horny now does not equate to, ready to see a man who I've never met, at a hotel 20 miles away...or coming to my hotel when I just arrived and haven't had time to properly groom myself and get ready.

Yah, see I don't do appointments 3 and 4 months in advance. Back in the days of Rentboy and men4rent, I used to get those requests more often and they'd stick. Nowadays, unless it's a long time regular or overnight who's asking to meet in a different city...I'll tell them to contact me 1 to 2 days prior. I'm not a stickler for scheduling by the minute and hour on the dot, but taking the time to coordinate a visit, finding out when the provider can come is better than trying to haphazardly get someone to arrive...when there may have been no expectation of that happening. Yes, I'm available today. No I'm not available to arrive (or have you arrive) in 5 minutes. Like let's talk about that. People want to come over asap like I'm running a barbershop. I'm not a barbershop lol. I even noticed my barber got irritated today when a client called him too close to the time he leaves. I'm like, i feel your frustration lol.

And this is okay too. You say available within a few hours...however for some, they'll text at noon and then get bent out of shape if I say I can't meet until like 3 or 4. I had one guy earlier this week in a city who sounded like the "lunch time brigade". That is: guys who can only meet between 12 and 2 usually. When I'm traveling, I don't work those hours usually. I don't want to book an extra day or pay extra to check into a hotel, because of 1 client who can't meet at any other time. I told him send me a deposit, which he didn't trust doing from a "stranger" (a stranger with like 50+ A+ reviews across the net). I said forget it.

I guess that was the right thing to do versus just blowing you off on subsequent appointment requests. I actually am considering sending one out to someone else, and probably should have. This guy has contacted me before last year. I’d send him follow ups to meet, and get no reply. This week, he contacts me out the blue again Monday. I’m out of town. I send a message back saying I missed his call, but noticed we’d tried to schedule previously and he didn’t follow up. And I specifically asked, are you ready to set aside time to schedule a visit this time. I hear nothing back until 7 a.m. this morning (Thursday), saying sorry his schedule is crazy and asking if I can meet now. I understand if his schedule is crazy, but he contacted me Monday, and didn’t respond at all until this morning. What kind of common sense courtesy is that? I told him 99% of the time, I do not take short notice bookings. On top of that, he has no info on my rates, I have no info except a name from him or anything because it’s been awhile since he last contacted me. People like that are a pain to deal with, and need to be blocked. I’ll give him until the end of the day to reply, after that he’s going on the list. I won’t even bother with a dismissal letter because if I see a guy consistently being inconsiderate, they aren’t even decent enough of a person to make right of any situation.

Juan Vancouver Michael Vincenzo JD Daniels Steven Draker

I ask because as of lately: it often seems like I’ll get appointment requests asking to meet “today”. At times I’m able to do so, but the majority of times there’s no sort of notice. It’s so many occasions lately that if I don’t take the appointment on the day they contact, the same day they contact, it often won’t happen at all. People have contacted me at 10, or 11 pm, or just at random throughout the day when I’ve not anticipated any appointments to be set up. I always ensure in my ad that I mention I meet only on advanced notice, and if it is a same day request, they need to be able to reach me a couple or few hours ahead…because, I have life and the city I’m in is very spread out: even with a car, I’m not usually ready to run out and take a booking. Ironically enough, when I do post in the city for a few hours, I get NOTHING. Just as soon as I start to wrap up the day and head home, someone wants to meet RIGHT NOW. And a lot of times I’m like, if I say no…I’ll probably never end up meeting them. But if I say yes, that may mean another long drive across town, that goes well into the evening hours. Majority of the time, they either don’t want to wait, or we agree to reschedule the next day, but they don’t return messages or cancel.

I’ll also say: I feel tipping is especially appreciated because you don’t always know when a provider could have his next client. For example: today is Tuesday night. My last bookings were last Tuesday night, Wednesday night and Thursday afternoon (3 separate bookings). I was feeling on a winning streak! I might of had a booking Friday, but the “client” was not following instructions to text or call me. And he’s in a hotel messaging me on Adam4Adam. I have a strict stance that I do not meet any clients who can’t furnish a phone number. On top of that, the more he messaged me on Adam, the further away I was going because he had contacted me as I was driving past the particular town he was in. When he finally offered a deposit, I was already 40 miles away. I was not about to turn back around, meet him, and then turn back around again to my destination. In that case a big tip would have been expected. But the point being: my last visit gave a nice tip. However that was the last visit I’ve gotten. I can imagine a decent restaurant waiters going for tips, knows that there’s going to be business everyday that they’re open. We on the other hand, things can be going great, and then just go bottoms up over the course of a week/weekend.

Definitely valid points. Ditto with the part about guys doing it for attention and drama. Even though, it seems odd that they’d like the drama, considering many seem to get extreme defensive if I call them out. It’s almost like: they want to find reasons to fight with escorts/masseurs. And I believe it, 100%. Because if they didn’t, they would do the right thing to begin with. Why do something that’s going to possibly upset or make someone feel unimportant. For a minute, I thought I would let go of dating and the gay scene and devote most of my sex and attention to clients. But now, I feel I have to revert back the opposite direction: Some clients can be great lovers or even friends. But like I told a client the other day who was impressed that I really seemed into it, there’s escorts out there who don’t take this seriously. And there’s also clients out here who don’t take us seriously. So you’re left with a bunch of people who aren’t taking anyone seriously. At this point I’m ready to get back out there and start dating. But this may mean biz will have to take a back seat. That’s where it starts to get tricky. And seems far too many clients can’t seem to think much further than a few minutes in advance…

Unfortunately (and fortunately 😂) I’ve already sent dismissals to a couple of clients. One responded with a genuine apology and explanation, the other 2 as predicted: didn’t reply. Why would they? They didn’t reply previously so no expectation to do so later. Part of the reason I’m doing it is to quit hanging onto prospects, thinking they’re going to do better the next time around. If they can’t do right the first couple of times, why should I leave the door open for more and more possibilities? I want to give them more chances, but the fact some of these guys don’t bother to respond…proves that they aren’t with the effort. If a guy doesn’t know that they set the expectation that there is a session arranged with a provider they contacted…I can’t help them.

Why?

I just talked myself into a brilliant idea! I’m going to write my own client dismissal form. Let me know what y’all think: Hey (insert name), it’s Jarrod. I was doing my weekly client log, and noticed you don’t seem interested. At this time, I must inform that I will no longer be accepting future booking requests from you. Unless you wish to reimburse me minimum (insert expense) for my time, your number will be blocked/deleted after 24 hours of this message.

Going based on a disclaimer I seen at my dentists office on clients who cancel more than once or don’t pay the cancellation fee. In my case, there’s a couple of clients who I have put on my blocked list this week. 1 was a previously met client, another had tried to book me previously twice. I just have an issue with some clients that they’ll do an appointment on the spot…when they want it, but anytime I try to schedule them for a convenient time, they flake or have an excuse why they can’t meet. Or worse, just no response at all. I’m just so tired and developing zero tolerance for inconsiderate types. I had already told one regular client who dicked me around (and will regularly do it), that I will no longer be taking anymore bookings from him. But instead of me getting upset and arguing with them, I’m trying to just work more on blocking them. However, I wonder if it may be better to just inform them that I no longer want to do business with them, and to not contact me again at any point in the future…unless they are willing to reimburse me the full agreed upon fee for not following thru. But of course, this leads to arguments because a select few clients like to lie to themselves that they never made an appointment…when in fact, there was an expectation set that one was going to take place. Otherwise, why would I be feeling the least slighted over it? Grateful for the good clients…But one thing I won’t hesitate to do if I forget to block them, is if they do come back around; whether a month or a year later, is tell them: last time you did something that I felt was inconsiderate, we need to have a chat about why this is the case, and make sure it doesn’t happen again. I keep all of my text conservations with clients, that way if I forget and they contact me 2 years later, I’ll be able to reference if they didn’t follow thru on plans that were agreed on.

Thankyou! Nailed it. Like @Benjamin_Nicholassaid, it is good to strive to get to a place where your rate is sufficient enough to not “hang around” for tips. HOWEVER, I have clients who tip all the time. I don’t put down those who don’t, but I also don’t expect it. I just let it happen. My thing is: I once worked in a trust bank and would file accounts. When I seen the amount of money these people had in their account, it’s not going to hurt them to pass over an extra $50-$100. Heck, an extra $5,000 wouldn’t hurt some, but…gay (especially non-White) male escorts have been getting paid far less as escorts than White female escorts for a long time. Once I’m making White woman money, then I can say no to a tip lol. But I don’t even consider it a “tip”. I consider it a contribution to an independent person who’s in biz. And I’m immensely grateful. It may not be $5,000…but hell, this past week I’ve had 2 guys giving 300-400 per session, and adding extra. I used to go week by week taking 100 and 150 sessions, and just profiting nothing. Nowadays, or at least at this point of my experience: I’m glad that most of my visits are atleast 250. But like @Rod Hagensaid also, I feel there’s constantly a drain on my funds. As a traveling escort, I’m not just spending money every day, I’m spending it multiple times a day/week. It’s like, there’s always a bill due, an ad or 2 due, gas (and at these prices, it’s been like $30-40 every day or 2 that I’m spending on gas because I’m going to different areas), hotels, etc. It’s easy to end up in the red. And generally, even after having a good week or couple weeks, the longest I can take a break and be okay is about a week. I’ve only been okay taking 2 weeks off when the stimulus checks were being handed out. But the thing is, when I’m not traveling, I usually do go a week without having a client, because my home market is so shitty. That said: I could have a $1,000 stack sitting right next to me, and it may seem like I’m ahead…but in reality I have to watch like a Hawk because it can go faster than I think. I tip at restaurants, but some of my friends may occasionally tip $50-$100, one guy even tipped $200 to a waitress. And that’s their choice, I stick with tipping off the percentages. I’ve bussed tables before, so I understand the business, but I also got out of it once I seen the smoke and mirrors. I was making tips off the waitresses. And it really wasn’t much at all because they got the bigger cut. But why should I even take their cut? I would have preferred a set amount when I walked thru the door. So lately, I just try to keep it all in perspective. I rarely do dates with guys anymore (even though I’m starting to want to get back into dating again, but so many are just in it for the thrill, nothing serious). When I do go to restaurants, my friends have to understand how my money goes…meaning just because I have it, doesn’t mean I’m covering everybody’s check. I also had a previously met client the other day offer to get me a hotel room, but he’d want to subtract a portion from my donation. I’m like dude, we can do it, but I’m not agreeing to a flat rate less amount. I’d take some off, depending on what he’s wanting. Which would of been $50 off. He wanted a whole $100 discount. Ironically enough: he never went thru with it, but yet I had 2 clients, 2 nights in a row who did the same thing, and did not discount my donation. Swallow that.

How about you take this same message and send it to Grindr. Maybe then they won’t be so fucking trigger happy to ban people who simply tell members they are a paid provider 🤔 And like mentioned, they need to offer a paid provider section. Some guys are just bitches. What can they possibly get out of blocking and reporting someone? They act as if I came knocking on their door or hit them up first. I know exactly who did it too, but it’s like: they not hurting me honestly. Plus, with Craigslist and backpage gone, there’s just so much hits from my ads…I rarely have time for Grindr. On top of that, I’m meeting decent looking guys from my ads just in the same. They may not be my “type” or exactly what I’d go for, but it’s not exactly a beauty contest. what gets me are all the quasi bi/guys out there who contact our ads. It’s becoming a new fantasy for me. However, the downside is many of these guys can’t sustain any type of off clock friendship. Even trying to get them to keep a booking can be a challenge