JB_Studio38

It was never about ME. Period. And don’t go presumptively accusing me of being some type of serial killer. Because that is being a drama queen. Again too with you, your anger is misplaced. Example: last Easter I went to go visit a friend at his house. He was alone, and needed company. However, he also informed me he had watched his nephews the night before AND...had his frat brothers over prior to my arrival. So...should I have blamed him for hypothetically “exposing” me, because he had other people around him, before I came over? Absolutely not. So how in the ?, should I or any other sex worker (or gay man on Grindr, adam, Scruff, etc etc etc) working in a 1 on 1 capacity, be blamed for killing people...who I’ve not even met? I haven’t met my “aunts” in over 3-4 years lol. There’s hardly any aunts left to kill lol. 1 died when I was younger of asthma, one from a brain tumor, my grandma died of cancer, 3 grandfathers died of prostate cancer....long before COVID 19 was even a word. Have a seat. And a chill pill. Please. Thankyou.

What’s plain ignorant is giving people the false sense of belief that this period is any less safe than any other period, after that after this pandemic is “over”, it’ll be “safe” to hire again. The reason why I mentioned those things, is to make the point that even if and when this thing is long gone, it doesn’t make the biz (or any OTHER type of meeting with a stranger, for sex) any more or less safe than it was around this time last year. Think about the times of serial killers. Do you think people (specifically sex workers) didn’t have their fears and doubts during the time? Was it suddenly “safe” once the killer was caught? Or did people still need to practice common sense, screening, and health assessments? You can huff and puff and tell me it’s different all you want. Whether you wish to see me or not is your prerogative. But when push comes to shove, we’re talking about SAFTEY. And I’m not going to let someone who’s not a sex worker themselves, tell me how to handle my business. Your anger is misdirected. If you’re going to be upset at me, also be upset at the clients who are wanting to have a bit of relaxation for an hour or 2. And my last 2 clients were fit clients who were also business owners with big bank accounts. It’s not like I’m out here pulling senior citizens out of wheel chairs. Don’t be dramatic.

It did kinda happen in the 80s.... right? The H and the A word? But then again, there are different hair styles for different hair types. The ones I get generally involve an edge up, and that can sometimes cut into the skin if done too sharp. In my case, even though I'm not getting perfectly lined up edges and cuts, I've learned my hair pattern, and just been taking an all around with a guard, and learned how to do my front edges long time ago...sometimes when out of town for weeks, I may be in an unfamiliar area and don't want to look for or can’t find, barbers that specialize in ethnic hair.

My point exactly. But was it ever? Since when is it ever 100% SAFE to hire? There’s stings, STDs, catfishes, robbers, unauthorized drugs, paper trails, meddling neighbors, unexpected partners showing up...list goes on. WHY all of a sudden is it NOT safe to hire? That’s the whole point I’m making, as to why the fear and judging is absolutely unfounded. We’ve been taking risks all this time, and only now....NOW, it’s a big deal. Just to add...because it seems some people have been offended by my comment, which wasn’t mean to be insensitive. I found that meme to tweak curiosity and mirror what we’re dealing with (although I don’t promote the words “Americans for limited government”. Yes, the panic now is bigger than the virus. But the key is to minimize. Instead of asking if it’s safe: You don’t want to infect the escort, which is sensible...then you can get tested. Then make the right decision from there.

I haven’t put “available now” in my ads for a good little while. However, I do see plenty of other providers doing so. For me, it’s more of just I am rarely “available now”, so I’m not going to go out of my way to do so. I’m not going around passing out flyers and cold calling. I’m just sitting here having a glass of wine, alone, as I do everyday. I can’t control what other people want to do. If someone is going to judge, judge the others who are out having get togethers and private, with less than 10 people meetups. There’s no if ands or buts about it. People often want to say, “well that’s different”. But it’s not.

I seen this graph the other day, and thought it was helpful because it is arranged like planets in the solar system. COVID is like a full moon, HIV is like the size of Earth, whereas others in history have been like Jupiter, Saturn and Neptune. Talk about a pain in Uranus ? Of course just because a planet (or pandemic) is small in comparison, doesn’t make it small in size. That’s true. I mean already, I’ve been reading crazy news stories that you just don’t normally hear about. What needs attention just as much as coronavirus? Mental health. Crisis mitigation. And it’s being put on the back burner. And the looneys are out in FULL scale. Hikacking buses in Dallas, threatening to bomb hospitals, driving like bats ? out out of hell... Can’t just lose the nose to save face.

What a happy ending (no pun intended). It's always good to have a client who's willing to front us during the hard times. This is my personal opinion, and I know there's clients who never send deposits or cancel fees, but may tip double the price. So it doesn't mean they aren't generous. But at the same time, I think sometimes people see us tit for tat with other lines of work. Like aka, "i don't pay my dentist upfront". Well yeah but you're not fucking your dentist and seeing naked pictures of him though, are you? And that's the thing: escorts are working technically, even when we're not meeting in person. In some ways, an escort can be like a family or good friend you'd send money to if they needed it. Not just a "Business". Other day I had a client I've never met before drop $500 in my account. Far more than I expected. But, the drive was 3 hours and considering my other client before him royally stood me up, I wasn't complaining. I also have "sponsors" who are willing to front me for future sessions. I felt bad that one in particular was unable to meet me last month. But I was there in his state for nearly 2 months, and he just wasn't able to meet timing wise. Hopefully in the near future. At the same time, I don't want to be in a position where I'm accepting funds months and years in advance, because by then...too much time will have gone by and an escort may feel technically out of pocket.

Exactly. Hell I'm doing it now to get clients now. With less competition on the forefront, this could potentially be a buffet in the Serengeti. The drawback is there is still some folks out of work. Business owners are taking the time to renovate and remodel. However, my belief is, people like to use natural disasters and mass layoffs as a reason they can't afford something. But in reality, they would be giving the same ole tired excuse whether they were working or not. Like one guy said yesterday, "i wish i could afford you". Well my rates aren't even listed. How you just automatically assume anything? And that's what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to run off scared, and then come crawling back. I might as well stay immersed in the game, that way I won't be scared to come back.

Could be. Then again I checked the small markets. There still guys in bigger cities advertising available now.

As an aside: has anyone noticed? The amount of ads on both RentMen and RentMasseur has taken a steep dive. Many cities are seeing just 1 page of ads. What I’m seeing is on par with the amount of providers that were around back in 2008-2009, before it came the overly saturated that we once knew of pre-Corona. I just hope RentMen and company can keep things afloat. But I would hope they have a hefty reservoir at this point.

Please don't take this wrong (lest I might have taken you wrong), but don't feel "sorry" for anyone like us, in "times like this". I'm not understanding where some people think there's this surplus of funds to save up. I want to see how some of these people are living. If someone is fortunate enough to truly be able to go client-free during this period which could last til June, you have to either have been getting a good amount of clients, or like @marylander1940 said, very thrifty. In my case, just this week alone: I had to renew my car insurance, Rentmen ad, phone bill, and some other miscellaneous bills/essentials from Amazon. All to the tune of about $500. As for "savings", I had some left over from a tour two weeks ago, because at this point there's really nowhere to go to spend money on. I had 1 Local client last week (who I won't be seeing again due to his repeated psycho analyzation after every session we do). And then I had a client send me a nice deposit for a session later this week. So, that's just how it is. My only regrets is not asking a different client for a deposit. I met him previously, and he was fine. But he flaked back in December, and I gave him a 2nd chance. Only for him to do it AGAIN yesterday. We were supposed to be doing a 2 hour out of town session, with it potentially being an overnight. Did the same thing he did previously; comes across interested on the phone, but then day of comes and no response at all. And what made it so bad, he came around and contacted me last week, like his disappearing act in December never happened. I brought it up. I give him a chance, but then they take my kindness for weakness. And then other clients are shocked when we ask for deposits. Because some people mess it up for others. For a little while I thought I'd ease up on the deposits, but clearly I'm going to have to go right back to doing it again. People like that don't appreciate our craft. Then they can't understand why I cut their ties. And 10 times out of 10, they come back around. It’s almost like they can’t remember. But when they keep doing the same thing, they are no longer a customer, but a shoplifter. Shoplifting my valuable time. And the only way to stop it is with a deposit.

Tell me about it! What can you suggest to all the super sore, like your 1st time working out, when people finally do return to the gym? I know for me: calves and biceps tend to be the worse, and longest to heal soreness to recoup from. Once the gyms do open, I plan to go light for atleast a week or 2. I can’t wait to go back to the gym, but I can wait for the DOMS after the gym lol. So far, my only exercise has been pushups, track, and jumping jacks. The occasional ab workouts here and there. But its good though because it forces me to do more cardio. I’ve gotten lean AF.

I want to add one more perspective to this all. Escorting and dating is almost an oxymoron. I’m not speaking for anyone in particular, or undermining any good escort relationships out there. But most guys in the biz aren’t in it because they’re trying to “date” (unless one is referring to dating=hooking up), or they may have moved on from the dating “rat race”. In my case, I’m over the dating rat race. When I look back over the years, many of the “dates” I’ve had were a waste of time. With some of these guys, you just have to fuck em once or twice, and move on with your life. PERIOD. I be finding most of them only around for convenience, and what you can do for them. They don’t want to contribute, always want me to work around their schedule, etc. Then they criticize and put me down. Dating can be toxic, and I usually find afterwards that the ones I thought were a good catch, turn out to be assholes. My most recent quasi-dating situation: A guy I’ve fucked a couple times last year. Met him in his city the 1st time, St. Louis the 2nd time, Kansas City the 3rd time, and then Florida the 4th time. By the end of the 2nd time, he had already started referring us to just “friends”, no sex. Which is where I should have dropped it then. Because from there, the whole “friendship” became annoying and meaningless. Then I had to listen to him go on and on about some other guy he was trying to be in a relationship with. Goodbye, it was nice knowing you! I also met with a guy over Easter, who I’ve previously “hooked up” with last year. Waste of my time again. I go over to his house, I walk in and he’s playing x box. I haven’t seen him in months. I stay over for an hour, and he’s talking about he has a family video chat and has company coming over later. Prior to that he said he had frat brothers over. I’m thinking to myself, why did I even waste my time going over there? I don’t have time to be trying to “squeeze in” to spend time with someone, when they’re not trying to do the same. That’s equivalent to 250/hr down the drain. Just pointless. I will not be wasting my time with him again. That’s part of why I’ve been sticking with the hobby for as long as I have. Even though it’s not perfect, and can challenge your mental health...it’s not even CLOSE to the level that goes on in regular “dating” situations. Escorting allows all the physical aspects of dating, but without the baggage and drama of getting to “know someone”. And trust me, most of these guys aren’t worth getting to know, because they’re all about convenience and see other gay guys as accessories, not something to invest in. Escorting has taken me from LA to Key West, Provincetown to San Francisco. And everywhere in between. I have clients who I may see once every 1 or 2 years, and we still have like the best relationship when together. I also keep in touch in between. It works for me.

Good point here ?? And that’s what I’ve been coming to realize overtime just “dating” many people over the years, who happen to be outside of the biz. I’ve even come to the conclusion that “dating” is no longer going to be in my vocabulary. It’s not that it’s a bad thing or that I don’t believe in it, but it creates expectations and false sense of commitment far too soon. I dealt with that so much in my 20s, “talking to” guys, who were also “talking to” other guys. Or people who hook up a couple times and one claims they were “dating” and another wasn’t. Then someone gets hurt. So nowadays, if I meet someone, and we’re hooking up, we’re only going to be friends who fuck. FWF. If after some time we decide to be more, then it’ll progress to boyfriends. If it’s another escort, great, but I’m not necessarily looking for it to be. But in my experience, like you said, most escorts don’t come to the table with dating on the menu. I’ve had a few connects with other escorts, either thru client 3way (or even 4 way lol) sessions, or RentMen ads. But most seem to be in it for an agenda, not so much giving off a vibe of something date-wise.

Thankyou for understanding. But honestly whether people here approve or “try” to condemn me is of least concern. If so, the anger is misdirected, considering there’s a vast majority of people all over who are still making themselves available to hook up (I’m on prep has been replaced by, COVID-19 negative). And as I’ve said before, there’s still no law around saying 2 people can’t meet in the comfort of their own home. People are over-applying the orders, with no gavel or a heaven or hell to put me in lol. The orders are simply meant to keep down on large groups of public gatherings. In my case, I’m not necessarily taking clients out of desperation, but I’m doing so to prevent me from getting to that point. I don’t want to have to be desperate. I’ve been there, and don’t want to go back. Right now is an opportune time because I’ve noticed timewasters are down, and people are actually scheduling appointments like they’re supposed to. When they see we’re out here taking risks, it’s serious. It’s not a game. There’s no unemployment checks, there’s no business bailout loans. If and when that $1,200 stimulus check arrives, it’s going straight to the relocation expenses I’ve not been able to set aside this year. I definitely can’t “stay home” considering my “home” environment is far from ideal, and my current base town wasn’t great biz wise even before COVID-19. So I usually travel 1 to 2 times month, even if it’s just 3 hours away. To be frank, I consider myself quasi-homeless by design at the moment, because I really can’t tolerate being “home” for more than a week straight, before things start getting hostile. At this point, keeping my sanity is of greater concern, than the fear of a virus and it’s accompanying “what if’s”. I sat in a hospital room for 5 days straight last month, not attributed to COVID-19 (and I’m pretty sure the virus has come and gone thru my system by now, before social distancing orders were announced, considering the amount of crowds I’ve been exposed to, hotels I’ve stayed in, states I’ve traveled to since Super Bowl weekend), I’ll be damned to sit around confined, and be empty handed; week, after week, after week. I’d rather die, than to not be able to live my life. That’s like being in hostage or detained with no idea of when you’re getting out, aka prisoner in your own home. But again, that’s what the news isn’t going to tell people. I’ve already read somewhere domestic violence has gone up 40% since this. But the news not going to tell you the whole story behind why some home environments are toxic, and compound that with financial trouble. Last thing some people may want to do is stay inside...

Now don’t go putting words in my mouth. I said in response to a hypothetical scenario, that it would not be my fault...and it wouldn’t. In that scenario, did I knock on someones door and walk in uninvited, or did someone contact me and ask me to come over/or come over themselves? And that even assumes the escort tested positive for it, was contagious, and the client didn’t visit anyone else: friends/family coming over or grocery shopping themselves. So yeah, I still call BS on it...and I’m going to keep calling BS on it everytime it comes up. The scenario is 1 sided, because it assumes someone meeting is doing so: 1. With ill intent. 2. The escort is the one infected, but not the client. 3. That it’s a forced meeting 4. He is knowingly infected 5. The virus is actually existent (in either person) It’s about as ridiculous as the stigmatizing and blame that would exist towards a gay man who’s HIV positive (omg how dare he exchange numbers with me and not tell me he’s HIV positive!). Which I’m glad over the years, seems to be fading. But now we have something new to stigmatize people over ?

Not necessarily, because I’m not just talking about people. I’m talking specifically about gay men, and how it pertains to our daily lives. If I wanted to hear about people, I could sit and watch the news and hear about all the “people” who are affected. But fact of the matter is, single “non-married” people without families, which include most gay guys, don’t cook. There was even a post on Twitter by a guy who was saying Wendy’s turned him and another guy away, because their lobby was closed and it was drive in only. Compound that with the fact many gay guys in the certain cities may not drive... It wasn’t meant to be stereotypical or “gay-ist” in any way. I’m speaking based on the fact I’ve known many guys, who happen to be gay, who don’t cook. Their refrigerators are filled with microwavables and drinks. I’ve known guys who eat out 2-3 times a day. Whether they know how to cook, or do so for convenience is not necessarily relevant. I know for ME, when I travel I don’t cook at all, except once in a blue when there’s a hotel with a kitchenette. So when the restaurants started not allowing people to sit down, that was a big deal for me. I had to eat most of my meals in the car, and when traveling...inconvenient would be an understatement. If we’re going to talk about real issues, I’m going to say it specifically as it pertains to us. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, because the news is only going to tell you what you want to hear. I’m going to say it like it actually is. And gay guys who don’t know how to cook, and who hook up during a social distancing order, is how it actually is lol.

I don't want to get into another deep debate about this, but as I've already said in previous threads...this will come and go and simply become another news story once the next big headline makes way. https://www.cdc.gov/flu/pandemic-resources/2009-h1n1-pandemic.html https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/11/26/247379604/2009-flu-pandemic-was-10-times-more-deadly-than-previously-thought Obviously what's happening is a terrible thing that is going to shake up the biz, but so was 9/11, the 2008 recession, swine flu, and the AIDS outbreak (before my time). Look what happened after AIDS: the biggest porn names of all time were created, online male escorting took off, and here we are now. Once the restrictions are lifted, people will be back to their way of doing things. When the pulse nightclub shooting happened, gay bars in Orlando didn't see crowds for awhile. Eventually people came to terms and started getting back into the swing of things. But to answer your question: I plan to keep on trucking with it. I do need to make some changes here and there, but it's not an overnight process. You don't just stop working for yourself, and suddenly going to have something on the ready. As has been the case before this, I plan to situate myself in small markets and avoid the big cities. Recently laid off guys are coming on the scene expecting this to be something to fall back on, so we're going to see people coming and going. As of now, all of my regular clients want to see me...but we're in this stronghold of social suppression, and it needs to be lifted before anything can change.

I've actually been to both of them considering I do most of my tours by ground, and end up in different neighborhoods. I've been all around Boulder City, Henderson, North Las Vegas, heck even St. George Utah lol. But I didn't know those areas were bigger (which I suppose you mean more populated) than the Coachella Valley. I did always feel Palm Springs was a little getaway area. Twin cities would be Key West, Provincetown, and I even hear of a place in Michigan called Saugatuck or something like that. But it's supposed to be a bit smaller. Then you have Eureka Springs down in Arkansas which claims to be the most gay per capita residence nationwide. But they compare it to relative number of gays per the population. That said, in all my travels there's just nothing like palm springs. It is the adult Disney world. This year wouldn't of worked for me anyway because I went last year and again in November, but next season I'll likely make a return or go around my preferred October/November before or after gay pride (hint hint) @Oliver

That’s good? to know. But that could also indicate 2-3 years. However, like I had a conversation with Bryan Knight, I’ve been in the industry for over 10 years and have also seen it all. Even though each “event” is different, or more extreme, it still impacts in some way. For example: the Trayvon Martin/police riots, Orlando Pulse, and Presidential election events all took its toll temporarily on sex and the business in general. It just changes everybody's vibe. In Orlando, I ended up going 3 weeks and only had 1 client, when the Pulse nightclub thing happened. Eventually, and I’m sure at this point people can’t see because they’re so fixated on things “getting worse” and the “apocalypse”, but perhaps this too will simply become “news” down the line. As in, something that stays on the news for months, until the next big storyline replaces it. Then people move on and forget about it. That’s why I don’t buy into mass hysteria. At this point, people have forgotten about Y2K, 9/11, the Isis beheadings, the border wall, the Police beatings, the tornadoes, the refugees in Syria, the Hurricane Irma, the Shootings at Mandalay Bay, global warming, the antibiotic resistant gonorreah...and now its all about this virus now. And somehow now, THIS is the end of the world ?

All this is making me think about going out west again lol. It'll be interesting to see how some cities may change. Phoenix may become a little more homey, if California starts becoming more affordable. I know places like California, Arizona, Nevada and Florida are particularly sensitive to recessions. But last time I was in Phoenix and Tucson, both places fully recovered and growing nicely. Even though the middle of the country can feel kinda ho hum at times, I like being able to be in eastern or mountain time with just a day drive. Which gives close access to a handful of workable cities. Whereas trying to travel east out of California or Phoenix can take a couple days, and the towns are small and isolated. And yeah I was going to say palm springs is small...but I supposed when considering cathedral city and the whole valley, it could be as big as Las Vegas. However palm springs is like a small city that has the lifestyle as a Major metro. Obviously the gay scene rivals the bigger cities of Fort Lauderdale and San Francisco.

It sounds like you are fortunate enough to be able to do so. And it sounds like you may live alone. So you may not be in a “Big Brother/Real World” reality show situation, with people you don’t get along with round the clock. But not everybody has that “luxury” (which is not truly, but it is a privilege in some ways). To stay at home, alone and not run out of resources in a span of 3 or 4 weeks. And that would likely include a good majority of escorts. I often use this guideline from pat experiences of when things get slow: 1 week without a client, not ideal, but I can get by. May need to take a proactive approach 2 weeks without a client: things start getting real tight. All ads need to be paid and updated. May need to travel 3 weeks without a client: now I’m behind on bills, and likely depleted financially. A long tour to a different city is necessary. 4 weeks without a client: Dire straights. **And note, this is all assuming I’m not traveling. 1 week without a client when traveling, can quickly become like 4 weeks without a client, due to daily expenses. I’ve had that happen occasionally, and it’s not fun. In my case: before this all broke loose, I was in Florida staying in hotels from the day of the SuperBowl in February (nobody in Kansas City was hiring that weekend, plus I had an overnight in Key West later in the week) to mid-March. Once the brunt of the pandemic was out, life still went on. I stayed for another 3 weeks even after the 1st case was reported in Florida, mainly because I had responsibilities that weren’t going to go away. Hotels aren’t free. I still needed a place to stay, and a couple of people offered, but it was far from ideal, and one guy thought he could use my situation to be his personal servant/errand runner. Ah no ✋? ?. I have my own biz to tend to.

I’m referring to a bartender who operated as normal and didn’t over-serve (which most don’t with the amount of times I’ve been asked, “let’s have a shot”, and that one can prove the person wasn’t drinking elsewhere prior to the time (many guys like to “barhop”, and “pre-game). You’re saying “can be”, I’m saying what I have actually seen. And let’s step back from that example and reverse the roles. Let’s say the client is the one visiting the supermarket, picks up something, passes on to the escort, and he dies a week later. Would that make the client selfish and reckless? After all...who 1st initiated the contact? It’s not strange. “Reliable” refers to a car’s engine and transmission only. In that sense, even an occasionally neglected engine and transmission can and does make it past 250/300K. But it doesn’t refer to brakes, stuff that happens when hitting potholes, and electrical parts which are nowadays always remanufactured. Ask me why there’s a repair shop on just about every corner...going back to what I was saying, parts have a mind of their own. One of my friends has a 2016 Lincoln Continental, and was recently quoted $1,800 because of an issue with the rear sunscreen. They’ve barely had it for a year. Any car can be reliable if you just drive it from church/work and back. Any car can start having issues when you began to put it to extended use.

I just noticed you both have kept the same handles since 2002! So I applaud the consistency. Btw @Benjamin_Nicholas, since you were in the biz around that time, do you have an idea as to how long it took for things to get back to “normal”, or how much was the industry affected after 9/11/2001?