JB_Studio38

I do that between 2 am thru 9 am on iPhone. Do not disturb. The 4 am texts don't bother me because either I'm up late looking, or so far gone sleep...I'll don't notice or hear the phone go off anyway. I'm also not privy to early morning texts either, which seem common as well. I used to answer phone calls while I was still in bed, and couldn't remember what I said after, or what I agreed to lol. Hence another reason why I don't take on the spot calls any more

I can say a lot of the nonsense has gone down though lately. It's not as regular as it has been. The other day was a bit of an oddball because inquiries are down. But the blessing in disguise, most inquiries now are serious.

That's a very good point. And earlier this year, I was figuring out which initial mode of communication worked best for me. At one point I was doing email 1st only, then calls 1st only, no emails, and now text with the option of email open. Personally, I just don't find phone calls to be effective for me. I tell people to text me first, get verified, and then we can chat once agreed on details, timing, host/travel, rate, etc I actually learned that from a photographer in Chicago who told me he answers no phone calls until deposit is made. Everything was done by text. I also had 1 too many phone calls that start with weird requests, keeping me on the phone, and just completely flubbing me. I got so tired of that. I finally drew the line 2 months ago in Florida, after some hack spent 20 minutes on the phone with me telling me he'd pay me $800 per session, upfront. After a few more weirdo flakes, I have phone calls on lockdown. I do not answer them at all unless client is booked and scheduled. Even though it does consume a bit more time, I try to ask pertinent questions which more quickly determines if we can make it work. However my thing with the turning phone off isn't so much about the length of time communicating with someone, but more of answering messages when you're in the middle of something. I try to respond even when I'm not immediately available, but some of the replies are like nails on a chalkboard: "Oh I don't do deposits, I've been burned before. Not interested." "Thanks for reply, but found someone else" "You're worth every penny, but too much for me." "Oh that's going to be too late for me today, maybe another time." Even though they may be honest replies, they're dismissive. Sometimes I may even be willing and able to make concessions and see them. But if they persist in not making it work, that means I've stopped what I'm doing, got distracted, only to be turned down. And then that's when I start feeling compelled to just turn my phone off, or only deal with clients on a by appointment, advance notice basis only. Drawback with that: clients may be waiting hours or a day for a response back. In which case they may assume I'm not interested. Then that's missed opportunity. But that is also why I stress contacting in advance at the start of my ads.

Another thing I wish to add to this: lately I’ve been hearing from some first time clients, that they’ve gotten burned in the past by sending escorts deposits. This in particular bothers me, because for 1, it’s not as if I burned them. And then 2, it seems to infer that we as escorts don’t get burned...oftentimes far more than once or twice. I always ask them, did the provider who burned you have several good reviews like I do? Because if not, that’s a short sight on their end. I have nothing to do with that, anymore than I have to do with an escort who actually meets a client, takes the money, and then “left something in the car”. A prospective client shouldn’t look at providers, as a telemarketer. They contact us, on platforms that I spend $150 a month on. It also costs to set up accommodations and travel out to see a client. I make it clear in my ads that I only host locally with deposit (because I too have been burned, making concessions to leave my house and get a hotel, only for people to not show up). The fact that some people try to ignore booking procedures, and then indirectly suspect someone is a scammer, is painting anyone who asks for advances in a bad light. But in reality, it may simply just be someone who wants to be in control of their life, and not just go dashing out the door for any Tom, dick and Harry who sends a text message asking to meet. People have it backwards to think that we are to trust them, more than they should trust us. I also wanted to re-address another poster saying what would someone do if they were a personal trainer. Well it’s actually quite common that personal trainers get their money for several sessions, in advance in 1 lump sum. You may pay $XXX for 6 sessions, but that’s not at each session. That’s in advance of each session.

By turning phone off, I refer mainly to those who may have a separate ad/work phone or number. I ask because some days, I don’t really be “available now” to take clients, but leave my phone on and communicate when an inquiry does come thru. Perhaps I can schedule something for the next day or later in week. If I have enough notice to take it, and the client properly confirms (usually with a deposit), I can go ahead and take the visit that day. Problem is, it more often than not ends up creating unnecessary distraction and time waste. Just today, I had 3 clients text me almost around the same time, and an email asking if I’m available today. Non of them end up panning out. I was going to be on my way to run track, and instead got side tracked answering messages. Then it rained, and I missed the opportunity. For a short while, I was randomly turning my phone off whenever I found myself invested in something I knew I couldn’t pull myself from (a date, house project, gym) But there’s been several times where I’ve been entrenched in a project, take time out to answer texts...only to completely lose my motivation. At one point I was almost considering posting that I’d only answer messages between a certain time of day. That way I’m not getting randomly pulled into answering messages round the clock, when I may not be in the position to hold a conversation. That’s also why I no longer accept phone calls, unless it’s a confirmed appointment.

I’d be curious to know what “type” of guys you may be going for? Are you going for big muscle, or guy next door, “straight acting”, or bottom exuding? Also, where are you finding this out at? Are you waiting until you meet them to tell them you’re a top? Or are you discussing prior? I say because sometimes clients may be tops, and not say so until meeting in person. I think most escorts, unless stated otherwise, will assume a client is wanting to bottom. Dick sells more, in overall volume, than ass. But it doesn’t necessarily mean ass is worth less than dick (in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a higher price involved). Just means that there’s generally more guys, particularly older, who want to have a top escort. The reasons could range from ED, to not experiencing the same at home (e.g. married guys), or just general porn fantasy (big black cock, tight white ass, etc)

Thanks for adding to the message I was making, you definitely seem to have an understanding of the current plight from an escorts perspective. However, despite the recommendation by some on the forum saying to be “frugal” and “thrifty” and budget minded, I think the government stimulus checks are designed to do just the opposite lol. Part of the reason why these stem ? checks are going out, is because the government (and other businesses) want us to spend money on stuff we don’t truly need lol. It helps fuel the American economy and dream, to spend money. It generates tax revenue, and opens new opportunities. Me personally: I still cash out coins at coin star, but at the same time...I like to buy nice things. Like when I’m in Palm Springs or Dallas, I like to buy $30 leather wrist bands, and $20 tank tops. A few Andrews at a gay owned underwear store is a good investment. But I tend to spend based on the way business is going. If I’m getting clients and expecting more, I’m apt to spend some here and there...because in this business; there’s a bit of unspoken pressure to dress nice, have nice things, and drive nice cars. It’s kind of why I drive a luxury brand car, even though I don’t particularly like how much it costs to service (or the attention it gets as I seem like an easy target to salesmen lol). But it’s like fuck. Many times I’m going to 4 and 5 star hotels, and prestigious neighborhoods to see clients. I desire to be seen in a luxury vehicle. Nothing wrong with Toyota and Nissan, or Ford and Chevy. But, considering I can’t afford the “brand new” models of those cars, I opted to go for an older luxury car. A 2001 Rolls Royce will exude a different character than a 2020 RAV4, so to speak lol. I recently had an Uber pick me up in a Mercedes that a client ordered (car dealers are being coy with their loaner cars right now, another COVID excuse). I was surprised at how plastic and un-original the interior felt. I know Uber has car-age limits, but I just feel the late 90s and early 2000s luxury cars really went out their way to feel like a 747 ✈️

It seems this particular poster moved on since, but...regardless of whether people disagreed with him, it may become an increasing new norm post C-19. And that’s assuming providers will be offering it. That said, if I can be transparent: at times the guys who are adamant, mandatory about kissing, tend to overdo it. Like someone previously mentioned, I don’t want to feel like someone is diving for lobsters in my mouth. Kissing is a wonderful, erotic thing...it’s like kindling to a fire. It’s all part of the “package”. And I especially like it when a guy is real shy seeming about kissing. Maybe they don’t always, but they get into it. But I also have a thing about extended “making out” (not just kissing) in nightclubs. Some guys do it very publicly when they first meet a guy, so I feel in some ways making out can be like a handshake to some. It’s cute, but I don’t like being seen in that capacity. I’ve done it, and it tends to make me uncomfortable being seen out in public lipped locked with someone I barely know, in front of other people (some people get jealous, or feel inappropriate). That said, a quick kiss on the lips as a greeting among fellow gays is fairly common and welcome (then again we don’t know how things may become after all of “this” ? stuff).

Bravo ? very good point. I'll also add, I don't think other escorts should assume other escorts are open to hookups. I've had some local guys reach out to me, with explicit offers. I'm flattered, and likely would fuck them...But, a little acknowledgement of me as an escort, goes a long way. Something like, "I would like to connect when you have some time available outside of clients" versus "come fuck my hole" makes a difference. But I understand, some providers out here mirror the same type of guys in the "scene" and across the net. Like I said earlier, dating and a relationship isn't on their agenda.

That’s good that you’ve shared some of your financial savvy. However, I think your message was directed for another thread, sir. Perhaps it was more geared towards the other thread that talks about advance deposits, which I’ve clarified here That said, I can briefly just address what you’ve said now. 90 days of savings assumes an escort is getting clients steadily, few cancellations OR rescheduled cancellations. Unfortunately, in the real world, that doesn’t happen. That also doesn’t compensate the fact that one escort may have the demand to reach many more clients (whether that be looks, ability to host/travel, being in a favorable market, able to command the price desired etc etc). It’s easy to talk money when you’ve got money. But not everyone has it. You can have all the financial savvy skills at your disposal, but if you ain’t making X amount more times your bills (which we might as well assume, are unavoidable), you can’t save. And with escorts just recently coming out of FOSTA/SESTA, numerous website closures (rentboy, men4rent, backpage, hour boy, Craigslist, and now: very few sites allow rates to be posted) this whole situation is just another setback in the setbacks that have ALREADY occurred in the last 2-5 years. So last thing I need to hear, is somebody telling me what I should of, coulda or, would of done. Not when the odds have been stacked against us every 2 years. In addition, those SBA loans, explicitly disqualified those businesses of a “sexual nature”: https://www.google.com/amp/s/blavity.com/amp/adult-entertainment-businesses-ineligible-for-finacial-aid-amid-global-pandemic Businesses and self-employed individuals within the legal sex industry aren't eligible for loans or grants from the Small Business Administration (SBA) following the passing of a milestone $2 trillion coronavirus relief bill.

That’s good that you’ve shared some of your financial savvy. However, I think your message was directed for another thread, sir. Perhaps it was more geared towards the other thread that talks about advance deposits, which I’ve clarified here That said, I can briefly just address what you’ve said now. 90 days of savings assumes an escort is getting clients steadily, few cancellations OR rescheduled cancellations. Unfortunately, in the real world, that doesn’t happen. That also doesn’t compensate the fact that one escort may have the demand to reach many more clients (whether that be looks, ability to host/travel, being in a favorable market, able to command the price desired etc etc). It’s easy to talk money when you’ve got money. But not everyone has it. You can have all the financial savvy skills at your disposal, but if you ain’t making X amount more times your bills (which we might as well assume, are unavoidable), you can’t save. And with escorts just recently coming out of FOSTA/SESTA, numerous website closures (rentboy, men4rent, backpage, hour boy, Craigslist, and now: very few sites allow rates to be posted) this whole situation is just another setback in the setbacks that have ALREADY occurred in the last 2-5 years. So last thing I need to hear, is somebody telling me what I should of, coulda or, would of done. Not when the odds have been stacked against us every 2 years. In addition, those SBA loans, explicitly disqualified those businesses of a “sexual nature”: https://www.google.com/amp/s/blavity.com/amp/adult-entertainment-businesses-ineligible-for-finacial-aid-amid-global-pandemic Businesses and self-employed individuals within the legal sex industry aren't eligible for loans or grants from the Small Business Administration (SBA) following the passing of a milestone $2 trillion coronavirus relief bill.

I can see your point here. And from my experiences as an escort, dealing with other escorts; some have differing levels of integrity (the last escort I hung out with thought it was cute to shoplift, so I had to keep my wallet out of reach during the whole 45 minutes I wasted my time meeting back up with him after a pretty hot 3 way client session a week prior) So in some ways, I can understand the client’s end of things. Clients don’t want to be used as a pawn ♟ There’s also 1 important thing I noticed in this thread, that no one mentioned: A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough I think what stands out, is the escort contacted the client and asked for a deposit. That in itself was the wrong move. The very few clients who have “sponsored” me, have done so out of their own generosity, and after speaking in person that “if I ever need anything, let them know”. I’d never initiate asking a deposit for future meetings. I would only do that if someone contacts me and wishes to schedule an appointment, not the other way around. Like the other week, someone requested an appointment in a nearby state. All I did was send him my booking links to confirm, and he sent me $500 before we had even set a date. Which was certainly more than what I was expecting. By the time I met him, I had only touched $50 of that, as that’s all I needed to get down there as accommodations were taken care of by him. But it just goes show: I didn’t ask, he offered. I simply made myself available, and did the run down as I always do. I ask for deposits, but generally for visits within the near future, and if it involves travel or hosting when it involve hotels (helps cut down on the “oh I can’t make it” brigade, after I’ve already paid for the venue) Not for some ambivalent future date.

I can see your point here. And from my experiences as an escort, dealing with other escorts; some have differing levels of integrity (the last escort I hung out with thought it was cute to shoplift, so I had to keep my wallet out of reach during the whole 45 minutes I wasted my time meeting back up with him after a pretty hot 3 way client session a week prior) So in some ways, I can understand the client’s end of things. Clients don’t want to be used as a pawn ♟ There’s also 1 important thing I noticed in this thread, that no one mentioned: A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough I think what stands out, is the escort contacted the client and asked for a deposit. That in itself was the wrong move. The very few clients who have “sponsored” me, have done so out of their own generosity, and after speaking in person that “if I ever need anything, let them know”. I’d never initiate asking a deposit for future meetings. I would only do that if someone contacts me and wishes to schedule an appointment, not the other way around. Like the other week, someone requested an appointment in a nearby state. All I did was send him my booking links to confirm, and he sent me $500 before we had even set a date. Which was certainly more than what I was expecting. By the time I met him, I had only touched $50 of that, as that’s all I needed to get down there as accommodations were taken care of by him. But it just goes show: I didn’t ask, he offered. I simply made myself available, and did the run down as I always do. I ask for deposits, but generally for visits within the near future, and if it involves travel or hosting when it involve hotels (helps cut down on the “oh I can’t make it” brigade, after I’ve already paid for the venue) Not for some ambivalent future date.

Good questions, complex answers: but obviously unemployment and small business loans are the 1st to come to mind. I know someone in every capacity you mentioned. Especially bartenders. I haven't confided in everyone's personal financial business, but I know some people are relying on "Very limited". savings or already getting the benefits that have been distributed. I seen lots of people on social media flustered about the whole unemployment process, but there they were. Otherwise, self isolation...as I've said before and provided articles to explain, are meant for those people who have been actually confirmed and sick with the virus. Or those with high risks of dying from it, which certainly isn't men who have sex with men (the usual high risk group for other types of diseases). Social isolation was not intended to be a rule for every single human being in the country. You (along with some of the others in this thread) need to read the article I posted previously...so you understand better: Social distancing, quarantine, isolation Cancelling events that are likely to draw crowds is an example of social and physical distancing. People who have been exposed to the new coronavirus and who are at risk for coming down with COVID-19 might practice self-quarantine. For people who are confirmed to have COVID-19, isolation is appropriate. Isolation is a health care term that means keeping people who are infected with a contagious illness away from those who are not infected. The problem is, People are misinterpreting these terms, and using it to condemn and criticize the decisions of others. And THAT is what I have an issue with

I absolutely, 100% agree with the above (even though Kevin Slater is right 99.9% of the time lol). I tried that last month, opening a gofund me so I wouldn’t have to “directly” ask friends for assistance, after I came down with an unexpected health issue (non sexually related) and was out of commission for 6 days + over $800 in unexpected car repairs. I made it thru all 3, and survived (thank goodness it was before the brunt of the virus restrictions started making headlines) but it was the week after, that I really started to feel the sting. The money I had saved up and set aside, was gone. Add to that, I was out of town (living in Florida temporarily for the “In” season). My friends made a complete mockery out of me. Saying very rude things and giving horrible advice. I forgave them all, and they all came back around once they seen I came back, but in my spirit I will never forget. They’re all too happy to see me spend money around them, but in my eyes they were being mean spirited because I was in sunny Florida, while they were still stuck in winter. When the pandemic made headlines, I felt a sense of being understood (thru the universe). People finally understand you can lose all sense of financial stability, when something unexpected happens...out of your control. How I ultimately pulled myself together, were all client related. Had 3 clients from Thursday to Saturday which was 1,050 (obviously one was a longer session). Paid my RentMen ads, bills, then bounced back. The next week, 4 clients, then got out of dodge when Florida announced they’d be closing beaches. But I learned from there, most gay friends (and likely friends in general) are only around for convenience and during good times. Some do help...but only when you’re in their presence. Once you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind. And that’s why it’s so important that I continue to carry on during this time, because I can’t expect to fall back or get help from anyone else who’s not a client or Uncle Sam.

Thats great. And perhaps you can share that in the other thread as well: https://m4m-forum.org/threads/deposit-for-future-meetings-during-current-downtime.156950/page-3#post-1900144 On the 1 side, people here are saying it’s not safe and see no one. On the other end, there’s talks to not pay for an advance session with a provider. Without a working solution, some conversations don’t give much in the way of an alternative. So it’s helpful to get input from both sides. I know for me, I had went thru the trenches back in February and March. Health issues+car trouble all within 2 weeks. Then I kept having appointments fall thru back to back, all while being out of town. The pandemic is actually what finally allowed me to get a footing. Hotels emptied out, traffic eased up, and people needed relaxation asap. Those moments let me realize if I could make it thru that, even when it seemed impossible, I’m going to always try to find a way to get thru a situation. I had 2 helpful regulars, but 1 of my most reliable ones, couldn’t assist last month. So even though it makes for a great “business partner”, I know I have to still go out and do me regardless.

Wow, I actually feel honored. I never knew I had black magical ??‍♂️ powers. All I have to do is have an opinion about 2 people choosing to meet for an intimate experience, and I can use my powers on others who have nothing to do with the situation at hand? I think you need to stop being mean spirited and angry. It’s not good for your soul. Or the others who you virtually touch. Why are you so mean and nasty? Is that really who you are, or you just playing up a character? I’ve been seeing too many arguments breaking out on Facebook about people’s differing opinions. It’s doing absolutely nothing to bring people together. People are creating chaos and animosity, out of their judgmental comments and disagreeing with differing opinions.

I’m being judgmental in the least. I was referencing what another person had said, to another, about the level of risk faced when arranging a meet during this time. I’m using good judgement. If using good judgement means not meeting someone privately, 1 on 1 in the comforts of our own home, then I’m going to repeat what I’ve already said: 1 you can’t assume someone has or hasn’t already had it, and at the end of the day it’s still between 2 consenting adults. Period. Its not your call, or their call, or anybody else’s call. And regardless, there’s still a whole army of men out there who are looking and actively meeting other guys. Why? Because they want company or...perhaps other people are asking them to meet. So any qualms with me doing me, would be like trying to turn Lake Michigan into a desert, with a straw. Oh so now...you want me to look at the big picture of your example. And you’re using the forum to do so. Smart. Well in that case, you should be more open to differing opinions, considering each and every one of us are using our own what? Judgments. Sounds you’ve lost traction trying to make your point, and now you want to resort to calling my assertions something other than what it actually is? Well then you tell me, what is a not dumb assertion? Every example is not going to be tit for tat for what the issue is. Because obviously this is something novel. The point is all about the principle. Is driving safe? No. Is meeting up with a stranger in your home safe? No. But that’s why we make sensible decisions when doing so, to minimize the risk. There’s a difference between driving 100 mph, and driving the speed limit. There’s a difference between 2 healthy adults meeting in a private setting, versus being up close and personal with 10-20 people in a bar or bathhouse (not that I’ve ever caught anything from going to a bathhouse either...and I hope they can weather this because in some cities, they made for good late night crash out spots. Plus I’d always get my money’s worth because men are included, unlike with hotels...if you check in late, might waste money if nobody shows up). This thread asked 1 thing: is it safe to hire right now. With everything going on, it’s easy to give a 1 size fits all answer: no it’s not, UNTIL this is over. Well, that’s simply not true. You still have to maintain a level of safety regardless.

My condolences. But at the end of the day: YOU can do what you want to or not do. But what I’m saying: nobody should judge us, or our clients, for wanting to meet. Anything more is being judgmental. What do people want to hear, “don’t meet anyone. You’re gonna die. Or kill everyone around you.” Well then if that’s how you feel, so be it. I’m not telling anyone to do anything. Stay home, remain celibate if that’s what you want to do. I’m not judging you. I’m going to go out here and fuck, like I’ve been doing, and be okay.

You’re looking at statistics. I’m talking real life, day to day stuff. What nonsense am I spouting? The fact that people shouldn’t have false sense of hopes of safety after the pandemic, considering all the stuff that goes around regardless? And to not judge others for their consensual 1 on 1 meetings, something that’s being going on for long before COVID 19. Again, don’t take it personal. You’re absolutely right. Perhaps we all should stop driving as well, considering it’s contributing to global warming, and all the people who have died in car accidents. I don’t want to be responsible, for an accident: But wait: isn’t that why we practice safe driving, seatbelts, and education? Same as with sex work: I’m not negating the risks or toll the virus has caused...BUT, that doesn’t mean to stop “doing me”, that just means using caution in the process...but isn’t that what we’ve (hopefully) been doing all along?

One word: Hypothetically. That’s the examples you’re giving me. Yes, bodies are being stored in refrigerator trucks. But my question is, is it the first time? I think not. Remember this: Someone earlier said it’s not all about me. And I’m glad they said that. They are absolutely, 100% right it’s not all about me. Because if it was, clients wouldn’t be calling me asking if I’m available. Again, it goes back to those 2 valuable words: 2 consenting adults. All the riff raff and extra scenarios, are just unnecessary chatter. Nothing more to say to it. I’m done with this conversation. And yes, I will say it’s not less safe. Ever since this, all my clients have been wonderful, I’ve been dealing with less BS, and people have been a lot nicer overall. Clients have also been offering hand sanitizer, taking extra steps for hygiene, and being more understanding. So yeah, I’d say it’s definitely a safe time to hire and be hired right now. Are we not entitled to opinions, or does everyone want to hear the same ole, repetitive responses and not learn or be open to anything different? Defeats the purpose of a conversation if you ask me.

Good Lord. You sound worse than these guys: Just for the record: I’ve been taking visits all this time. I’m still alive. And been checking with all my clients, they too are still alive. And I keep seeing the same guys ad infinite online, and considering I’m sure they’re also hooking up...without my help, are still alive. Let’s all come back to earth. Please, and thankyou.

But how many people actually survive when confronted with a serial killer, versus COVID 19? Remember, most people are recovering. Bless their soul the ones who have died, but...so did the flu, asthma, hiv, diabetes, cancer, etc etc, etc. I’m not downplaying anything. But, what I’m not going to do, is paint the business as being unsafe now, and more safe last year.