JB_Studio38

I’ve never had to do anything like that before. Especially for an hour visit, assuming it doesn’t involve “multiple loads” (which is usually never). I’ve done overnights and accommodated clients the next day or beforehand. Not something I’d normally do, but…I know the inconvenience of being cancelled/stood up on, so wouldn’t want to do the same. But anyone who does, they can consider themselves “privileged” for being able to drop one client for another. I never find that to be good “dick energy”. There’s ways to value and include bookings without leaving anyone hanging

I’ve been hearing about tryst from the other side of the pond (and not talking about England). However I wasn’t aware one could post for mSm type of sessions. I’ve signed up but, I read it can take awhile to be approved. Like, months. But could be some way to expedite… Sometimes though, sites that blend with straight providers, can bring an extra challenge of iffy responses. Similar to Craigslist and BP. But might be doable in the right areas

Especially if you’re driving even moreso lol…the flexibility is great, but sometimes it may 🤔 some clients. I may decide to stay in a city longer or shorter than posted. That’s why lately, I’ve kinda stopped planning trips so far out anymore. Only if I’m planning to be heading there that week. But right now I’m eyeing some destinations to travel in August, and haven’t posted anything except my local area. It helps to get some visibility ahead of time, but most of the inquires are going to think you’re there. Or they won’t be when I get there. And nothing pains more when the area you’re in is dead, but the area you’re traveling to next month is all your inquiries for the week 🤦🏾‍♂️

I think some people expect to be one step ahead of the game, if they skip over an escort’s ad writing, and just contact outright. It must be a belief that’ll get what they want faster than just taking 1 to 2 minutes to scroll thru and read the ad… But it’s not ideal if they have to ask right from the bat if they’re in town, or can they meet today despite it showing dates.

I feel I’m spending the equivalent of $5 of gallon living in the area I’m in. I’ve gone to Seattle, San Francisco and San Diego where that’s common…but once I arrive to my destination, I don’t have to drive much more than a couple miles to where I need to be. Especially in San Diego earlier this year. The beach was walking distance, and tons of stores within 1/2 gallon of gas away. The only time I had to commute, was for my specific gym, to see a client or go to Hillcrest. Meanwhile, I’m commuting an hour or more living in thee Midwest, to visit fwbs and clients. Some of these fwbs know that I have to drive far to see them, yet they turn their nose up or don’t even offer to cover what I spend on the ride there or back. That’s why I’m just going to focus on clients until I relocate, and leave all the frugal fuck boys in the dust. They don’t value my time or energy, and it’s all about their pleasure and convenience…at my expense. Most won’t even travel too far outside of their neighborhood/town for sex anyway, so why should I bother going out of my way if they aren’t paying…

I wasn’t intending to imply I had a bad day. In fact yesterday I had a great day. Had a new outcall appointment that went well, and later won something in a game. It’s not about good day/bad day. It’s just bringing light to the fact it’s some shiesty people out there. Specifically, sheisty guys who are always out looking for MSM sex. They put on a facade, showering with compliments and talking how horny they are and how they want multiple loads. But it all changes when there’s a request for some payment or reimbursement. If I don’t get a no-response, I’ll get an insult, or be compared to some dick they can get for free. But wait, just a few minutes ago he made it seem like I was exactly what he wanted 🤔

I suppose, that would be the easy, low effort way to handle it. But I’m believer in, if someone wants to make it happen, they’ll put the effort. I know because, I’ve met guys (mostly non-clients) who couldn’t host. And guess what I did? I picked them up, like a gentleman and brought them back to my place or hotel. And took them back. And the sex…out of this 🌎 . I’m not looking for easy and convenient, I’m looking for those who seem attentive and have the look I want.

that’s a good analysis, however I just want to clarify I’m not really interested in running a new escort site. I have my private site that I’m running, and it’s the furthest I want to take it for the time being. However I feel, since I’ve been with RentM since they started in 2009ish, I do hold some level of loyalty with them. I understand some of my suggestions might not be possible (I discussed the paying for content thing before, and there was an explanation for that. And rates obviously, that’s something that would need to be carefully implemented as well). I just want a few simple changes, that can make a big difference. Having a site myself, I know how easy…yet tedious it can be to make basic changes.

Well, hate to break it but: this section was once ask an escort, now it’s ask Questions about hiring. Not dissing the update but, it didn’t exactly “further inclusion” by providers. So… But other thing, I have found a new community where sex work is discussed more by providers. Albeit it’s mostly women, and tend to operate on a different pricing: they seem much more open to initiating discussions and topics, even among clients who actively read and post. I just feel many of the MSM pay community like to play the safe route: presenting a facade and avoiding transparency. Understandable if you’re protecting your bottom line, but not great for the better good of those in the industry. Also, the current sites don’t seem to be directing providers to the platform as much as prior sites. Remember, Rentboy used to direct us to daddy’s reviews. Now RentMen/masseur has become its own review platform. It’s not as necessary to win over people here for reviews. IMO, for an escort to want to post here, they have to really want to engage and be a part. Since the forum seems mostly client oriented, I can see how some wouldn’t want to step into the lion’s den…

And since posting this, gas went up like 30-40 cents in my area overnight 🤦🏾‍♂️ Gas prices just saw their biggest one-day increase in a year | CNN Business AMP.CNN.COM Gas prices are going up. The national average price for regular gasoline surged by 4 cents a... That said, going forward I won’t be expending any extra energy on stingy men, no matter how bored or horny I am. And if they want to get an attitude and play ghosting games just because I ask them to do their part, then fuck ‘em. Actually, won’t fuck ‘em. They want me to go out of my way, while they do the bare minimum. I’m not for it:

All the guys who claim to not/never pay for sex, do exactly that but don’t realize it. The drinks, the dinners, the driving across town, the apartment they rent so they can host, the time they spend trying to package themselves for consumption on Instagram: is not free. Going to the club spending $100, not free. But I realize I am having a moment because, the part of the country I’m in the amount of “I don’t pay for it” mentality is exorbitant. It almost seems to be a fad out in this area. Being cheap and finding it for free as much as possible, is cool. Fuck this place, giving it one more month to work out: if not I’m out of here for good 😤

Yeah, I feel part of the change has to start with “us” (gays). As long as people give it and throw it away for nothing, that’s going to be the norm. And especially for non-White gays. I won’t go down a race card route but, that’s the other reality: Wealthy gays will let a White guy use and abuse them for thousands of dollars, yet the moment a non-White (e.g. Black) guy gets $250 and doesn’t put out, we’re every name under the sun, plus a scammer. It’s not right. When it comes to gas money, people like to make it sound trivial like…it’s something one should be able to afford. If not, they look at you like you’re a broke bitch. But, many gays seem to be oblivious to the fact that $3+ gas for this amount of time does have an effect. I’m basically paying what California prices were for gas, back in 2018. For example, there’s one card that I use for gas purchases. And it’s likely more than that because I don’t even use it every time. It’s likely in the $500 range. And one guy I was briefly dating had the nerve to question my earnings, when I told him I didn’t have the gas money to go 90 miles out of my way, to see him. Because generally, I need to reserve that for clients. I told him the next day, how dare you. So out of line, to even question me, when I’m the one spending money to go out of my way and meet. And he was too cheap to ever offer gas, but on our (last and final) date, had the nerve to discuss with someone else, how the military is paying him $24,000 to relocate Overseas for a couple years. Why even bring that up, when I just had a discussion previously that I’m hard up for funds as it is? It’s stuff like that…shows blatant disregard for the ones they want to be intimate with. I’m just breaking that down once and for all, for all the ones who look down on others who ask for gas money. Because it’s really not even about that. The main topic is much bigger than that.

…Why do many gays treat their prospective hookups, like the s*x isn’t worth a dollar? Now, I’m not judging the fact people hookup for free. Or saying everybody should pay for any type of connection. But one thing that gets me, is how: one can say to another gay that they’re for pay, and they get an attitude or turn it down, or always have to make some sly remark. Case in point: I thought I had another but, I blocked him so: message is gone. But it was something like: “I don’t pay for what I can get for free”. I responded, umm..get who for free? Not me…maybe someone else though. I am so over the aire of entitlement that many gays have. As if they SHOULD get free access from anybody they approach. The other day, I went with a friend of mine to the Tiffany store, and he dropped $1,500 on accessories. No shade to that, it’s his money free to do how he pleases. But I know for a fact this guy also doesn’t pay most of his hookups, which are always met off hookup apps. Sure he may do drinks and dinners, which is cool. But I know there’s guys out there that operate the same way: they’ll spend hundreds and thousands on material things, and drive a Mercedes/BMW. Yet won’t even offer $20 for gas, to someone who’s coming from 100 miles away to visit them. (true story). As much as I enjoy the good clients in the biz, it’s a lot of “emotional labor” (gotta love that term) dealing with weekly instances of gaslighting behavior from potential and even return clients. Gaslighting to make me feel I don’t know how much to charge, and am delusional. Meanwhile, during the Taylor Swift concert in Kansas City, people (some gay) were paying $1,000+ just for a seat. The hotels were higher than my rate. Yet, I have to be expected to bend over backwards and forwards, just to be gaslit that $400 is too much. $300 is too much. $200 is too much. Hell, for some of these guys, they act as if $25 for gas is going to send them to the poorhouse. Meanwhile they’re bragging on this and that, and how good their job is 🤦🏾‍♂️ Then there’s these guys out here who have plenty of money, and a partner/husband (aka dual income), yet still expect to get free cake and eat it too. I have friends like that, and I think to myself, these people are counterproductive to everything I stand for. Why even be in their presence, if they believe sex is only worth a drink and a burger…but will spend $1,000s on high end accessories and meaningless home upgrades. But I’m crazy for asking $300?? 🤷🏾‍♂️ I think if I were to leave the biz, I wouldn’t even be compelled to replace hookups with the action I get from biz. Being I see and have experienced so much devaluing of gay sex, I would only do it sparingly and with someone I know is serious about having a genuine, consistent connection.

As someone who has done all of those drives you’ve mentioned: I tend to more likely incorporate locations within a tour/travel plans versus limiting it to just 1 appointment. I’ll often have an anchor city (somewhat similar to anchor client but: moreso a city with a purpose for visiting) that is my main destination, and then just include locations along the way. Like when I travel to the west coast from the Midwest, I usually have several anchor cities that may be 2-4-6 hours apart. So I try to work it all in. In that case, it wouldn’t necessarily be out of my way, though it would still involve travel. Which will typically requires a deposit as well. As for how far I’d go to meet a client on a non-tour drive, I will do that up to 3.5 hours away. I feel 3.5 hours is just within the amount of time to be able to go there and back, and spend the night. And even if I only have 1 client, it could be worth it. But there’s usually the opportunity to see more. For example, being in Kansas City I’ll occasionally go to Tulsa, Arkansas, Des Moines (though I haven’t been to Omaha in awhile) Last year I tried to do 2 trips, but clients kept dicking around with booking, and it seems to be a common scenario in that area 🤦🏾‍♂️ However, all of those require the caveat of needing to be booked AHEAD. Not a week in advance, but at-least the day or 2 prior. But most people reaching out don’t think that far ahead for some reason. I usually won’t drive 3.5 hours away for a same day appointment when I’m home. Usually when I’m already on tour, I can get on the road quickly. It’s not always guaranteed if I don’t have enough notice to arrive. For a typical same day ride/come home or back to the hotel same day for 1 client: I will usually max it to 90 minutes away. Here’s also an example below of driving time between 2 cities you mentioned: but notice how it’s not rush hour in SF yet. That could easily add 30-60 minutes: In my case, if I were visiting San Francisco, I wouldn’t leave there to visit someone in Reno for a 2 hour session. I would try to incorporate it along the way to my next destination. If I were living in SF, Reno would be close enough to my 3.5 hour limit preference. But I’d work it in if booked ahead, and with deposit+tip.

Can we step away from what the technical requirement/definition of a strike has to be? We may not “work” for them, but we still pay monthly memberships to them. I also didn’t advocate for a boycott, but moreso a plan of change. Just because I want something to be better or different doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be a rebellion. I just sent them a message basically going over the same things I mentioned here. Hopefully they’re open to consider the suggestions.

Well one thing for sure, a full time change of market for me is definitely. I can’t move overseas. I have too much to move, and moving overseas would be starting from scratch. Plus visa and all the stuff involved with immigration. I had discussed this with someone via DMs the other day. There’s other cities here in the USA I know I’ll be more appreciated in, versus sitting around dealing with cheap, emotionally laborious men. I just spent over an hour in discussion with a client friend across the country about it. Living in a counterproductive city threatens the ability to even stay in business. Granted a strike wouldn’t seem reasonable to those who may be in areas with a good supply of clients, and few advertisers competing for those same ones. But I feel I’m in an area where not only is there a handful of local and traveling advertisers, but it’s not enough clients to work with. And because of that, it would help having some extra resources. Resources that need to be implemented into the RM platforms to save us time, money, and frustration. And I’m just telling myself, if I have to pick up and leave by any means necessarily..I am ready. I just had to do another loan just to pay for some urgent expenses, because it’s been that bad since I came home from tour earlier this month. I shouldn’t have to do that. But I have to do that because that’s what the reality is here. In Kansas City, all I see is dudes hooking up for free left and right and everybody on the apps. If you do it that way, you’re guaranteed to get laid most the time. On top of that, you have to be in and around the main gay district, which I don’t reside in…And lots of hanging around doing spur of the moment quickies, which is not my style. Most of the “pay” inquiries come off rude, unreliable, half the time just string along or play games. And the timewasters here go out their way to waste my time every few months, until they are blocked. I almost fault myself for not blocking them when they show their colors on the initial messages, such as not responding or giving negative replies when asked for basic details like a name and deposit. But the moment I drop my guard and attempt to meet them: they won’t come thru. Well, who’s to say someone can’t do their individual strike in a way that suits them? I’ve already started doing that. There are times that I remove my number and disable email on my ads, and see who’s attentive enough to read the ad and go to my website. And of course you have the ones who take breaks and leave the industry quietly without explanation or warning as well. I wouldn’t concern about lost business being given away. Because it’s no guarantee there’s going to be some big surplus of clients within a 1 week time frame. which is the longest time I’d go for a hypothetical RM strike. That would still allows 3 weeks of paid time. There’s also the option of freezing ads, but that wouldn’t give the chance to be visible in the process. Though if one has a website or Twitter page, that can be the announcement platform.

The issue is: people need to be prepared to do both if they want to meet someone for sex. Stop relying on 1 person (namely, the escort) to do it all. Be ready to travel AND be ready to host. There’s $60 hotels in most any city. Not many, and hardly non in some areas but: Some accept cash. I highly doubt it’s going to send a client to the poorhouse, to get a hotel. I know that sounds ironic, considering the topic: but it’s true. For most of my escort time: Including when I first started, I have ALWAYS offered to host AND travel. I always kept a vehicle for Outcalls and always booked a hotel or had an apartment. I have accommodated above and beyond. However, I am not Superman who has endless money to spend…especially these days. Hotels are higher, rents are just ridiculous. I am also finding some cities/ states are harder to get approved with escort money than others. In St. Louis for example, (likely due to predjudice towards renters based on the demographics) I have hardly been able to find anywhere that’ll rent without a laundry list of requirements. So, I rent a room from a “partner in biz”. However, it’s not always available to me and I have to coordinate schedules with him. Problem is, even when I’ve had the place to myself and ready to host, people would still lie and ghost, play games and BS. So it’s hampered the thought of wanting to book into a full time place. So for clients: be flexible. If you can’t host, offer to get the hotel if the escort can’t host either. I’ve had plenty of clients do this, and even clients who were hosting: I had them come to me if for whatever reason, I needed the hotel anyway and it was easier. Example: In Nashville earlier this month, the client was hosting. However, he was hosting at a big hotel, and I was staying at a friend’s. Both my friend and client had early mornings (client was nice enough to offer me his place, but): which would have involved me having to be up and out by 8 a.m. That’s inconvenient, and I learned my lesson letting someone else I was dating do that to me: and I broke up with him that same morning. So I suggested to the client that I would rather get a room and have him come over. So yeah, it sounds like it’s not an issue and it should be simple but no: it’s a real issue. Who hosts and who travels. The solution is: every man who wants to have 1 on 1 time needs to be willing to do BOTH. If I can go book a hotel for a client, a client can book a hotel for an escort…if the escort doesn’t have the means to do so. Unless you’re willing to send a deposit.

Not necessarily. Hosting could mean spending more money. That would only apply if the escort straight up said: “I can’t host”. In my home city, I do host….by appointment only and when clients confirm. So I still get to see those clients. However, the ones who can’t plan more than 15 minutes in the future, never see me because I’m not just hanging outside of my door at the bathhouse, waiting for them to come over when I never expected them to come over to begin with 🤷🏾‍♂️

With everyone in Hollywood doing their walk outs, I wonder how that would look for us? I personally feel it’s time. I have emailed to RentMen and RentMasseur, and Adam4Adam (I know, not the greatest for trying to find clients…But there’s still some gems on occasion) my suggestions, but nothing ever seems to get done. I feel we as advertisers need to stop accepting whatever is defaulted and stand up. This isn’t directly an assault towards RM, but they are controlling the ship…and the ship has hit an 🏔️ 🚢 and is filling with water. What would a strike benefit? Here’s some changes I would #1: allow paying escorts to access a private portal of reported clients that we can report (this doesn’t have to compromise client confidentiality). The current “app” for doing this, I find isn’t know by providers in smaller markets. Plus they charge a fee, so some people probably don’t use it as much. It’s also kinda glitchy and vague. We need something like what men4rent offered, before the RB raid scared them into shutting down. I have seen a website offer this option, as explained here. #2: rates need to be reinstated, plainly. Not hidden somewhere. it’s no reason I need to be arguing and fussing and low balling with clients who don’t know my rates before contacting. It should show when the click our number. It also doesn’t need to be in reference to sex, simply: the cost to host you, the cost to travel to you. Period. Nothing else implied . #3: No more free private gallery/videos. They need to pay for extra content #4: Cut the “available now” to “available today. Nobody is ever available now unless you’re at a bath house or nudist beach. Unless: a person is indoors for 2 days straight, not stepping out at all and can maintain that consistently: it’s most likely not possible. But I go ahead and put “available now” anyway because I am “available today”. #5: Educate clients with a simple pop up, showing them a brief tutorial how to book. They should be informed; an escort may ask for your name. Your age, location. Basic details about yourself. Don’t make them have to fish it from you. Too many buffoons hit me up not wanting to share anything about themselves, thinking I’m just going to go to them or open my door to a complete ghost with no info. #6: anything else someone can add…should be promoted. What would a strike look like? Taking down our numbers, disabling email contact. Let them stare and be unable to book until change is made. Let them know: I am temporarily unavailable while we come up with a better way for providers and clients to establish boundaries on the rentmen platform 🪧 I know it’s not as simple as that but, even just acknowledging these things and discussing it with RM could make a difference.

Definitely facts. That’s exactly why I’ve come to plan things around confirmed bookings. I did the book 2-3 days in a hotel thing before having anyone confirmed, more times than I can count: I’d be a fool to keep doing that. Nowadays I only book ONE NIGHT (maybe 2 max if I traveled far, and not feeling moving the next day) at a time when traveling. It’s day by day. If a client doesn’t hit me up by noon next day, preferably a couple hours before that: I’m checking out or going elsewhere. I have no guarantee paying for an extra night is going to earn me anything, without a deposit…. Or at the least, a steady flow of clients. I usually find: 2 to 3 days is ample time to see everybody who’s available in a given period of time in a city (though in San Diego earlier this year, I went an entire week before my first client and then another week for my 2nd client 🫤 luckily I had friend’s spare room. All the stragglers who reach out at 11:30, 12, 12:30: Knowing that’s usually an hour that visitors maybe checking out of hotels, will have to send a deposit immediately for another night, or be ready to show up asap. Had that in Dallas couple months ago. I had the hotel ALL DAY MONDAY Memorial Day. What does he do? Contact me at 11:30 a.m. Tuesday as I’m walking out, asking to come over. I told him: book a room if you can’t host. I’m checking out. I also don’t rely on who all may be available to plan my trip either. Long as I have 1 confirmed client for a decent number, all else will come together. That’s why I ask $300-$400 majority of times I host. So if I only have 1, at least I have made back the hotel and money earned.

Thanks for having my back, but I’ve already expected anytime I have a discussion: somebody is going to say something that has nothing to contribute to the topic. They simply file as complaints. But, it’s always nice when someone busts their bubble…and reality sets in:

I find it’s very dependent on location at times. For example in San Diego, I was only doing outcalls mainly, but would host if someone booked and sent a deposit. I had a place to stay already that I was able to to do Outcalls from. I wasn’t about to spend $100-$200 on a room to sit around and gamble that a client would show up. I did luck out one night, where I was needing a room for personal reasons, and a guy just happened to text me moments of me arriving to the hotel. In that case, I said come on thru. I’m ready in 45 minutes. However, all my other bookings ended up being outcalls anyway. The couple nights I booked a hotel in San Diego, either nobody contacted or I didn’t have anyone confirmed. I also booked a room for at least 3 nights in Temecula area, only one client showed up and I ended up having to send him home because he claimed to forgot the funds. Luckily I have hotel points to front in between, for situations like that. Also had other reasons for being there. So yeah, to anyone who doesn’t understand why I wouldn’t just be hanging out in a hotel all day everyday when in a city: that’s your answer right there. All of that up above. I don’t have to necessarily post Play by Play, Day by day details on whether I’m hosting that day or not. That’s the whole point of the deposit and booking stuff in advance. Because you’re not going to know what someone’s situation is day by day regardless of what they post in the ad. People just have to stop thinking that escorts are hotels themselves. No, I’m not a hotel with 60 rooms. Think of me as renting a 1 bedroom air bnb 😂

The whole point was: based on the message I referenced, he had stated: “I thought you were in a hotel all this time”. Thought. Not, “I said”. But rather.: “Thought”. Let that sink in for a minute…and you’ll understand. Who told this person that? That goes beyond the issue of who can and can’t host…that’s simply making an assumption based on, what? Just because an escort is visiting a city isn’t a guarantee that the person is in a hotel hosting. For example, earlier this year: I drove from San Diego to Arizona via the I-10. I had LA, Palm Springs, and Phoenix as cities to pass by. Non of those places did I host or have a hotel set up. Why would I? There was nobody booked in advance, and Arizona was my destination. If somebody texted and assumed I was in a hotel: I would be like, who told you that? Now if a client was hosting, I would have likely been willing to go to their location instead. My website/profile never says that I am here waiting at a hotel for you right now. It says a deposit is needed to book an in-call session. Period. That is likely to allude either it’s by appointment only, or it’s not necessarily readily available unless confirmed. Like I said, the person mentioned didn’t want to pay deposit to begin with. He was hoping to get on my standby list, which is basically: I see someone if I’m already hosting that day. But that’s if I even have client scheduled that day to begin with. Meanwhile, there was no point in me spending money on a room without anyone on schedule for that day. So I made alternative arrangements.

I used to have certain clients I’d be able to schedule weeks or months ahead. However, it seems uncommon lately and I generally don’t prefer to because I may not be in the same area. However, for a longer session I wouldn’t mind. Months in advance gives better opportunity to plan and arrange schedule accordingly

I appreciate the suggestions but one thing you should know is: Many contacts do not read my profile, let alone my website before contacting. I usually have to refer them to it, and not in a rude way but: just making sure they have seen more than just pictures and a number. Also, it explains everything laid out, which is better than explaining it myself. I’ve also had in my ad for awhile, that deposits and advance notice is needed for incalls. That said: I have updated some wording on my site and ad regarding incalls. I’ve made it clear that same day hosting may not be available. Whether I do or don’t, deposit will be requested. I also find most reasonable clients know, that it’s better to try to arrange something ahead versus same day. If trying to arrange an incall, it’s just basic courtesy. I have even told people sometimes, would you be ready if I texted you unexpectedly for me to come over? 100% of the time it would be no. So, try to understand it may be the same for a provider. “Available now” does not guarantee or promise hosting. Think of hookup apps, or even bars and clubs. Lots of available people, but no guarantee that available person is going to be able to bring you home/go to your place. That’s just life. There’s no need to gaslight sex workers into believing they SHOULD be able to do whatever suits the client at the moment: A decent guy would find a compromise and make it work. Like the saying goes: “get a room” 😂 I’m sorry that all escorts aren’t able to cater to every need and every demand at any hour of the day and week. That’s stereotype. Sorry to disappoint some, that we may be similar to regular people, who need regular notice, and regular planning to meet. Of course, same day hosting bookings are great when they can work. I took one the other night, since I was already hosting a booking made in advance, from earlier in the day. But that’s not a default offering that I can do often.