Jarrod_Uncut

Sure, but the constant back and forth is just annoying as fuck and not getting anyone anywhere. 
Time for pizza.

Okay let's get back to the basic question of follow or ignore.
I tend to follow the autoresponder instructions if I am really interested in the provider, understanding that he may not be checking the site regularly. I would even say that I like autoresponder because I get an instant response which provides helpful information in most cases. I also realize that providers aren't sitting in front of their laptop or staring at their phone waiting to reply instantly to messages on the app. At least when I text someone directly I know there is a better likelihood of him seeing the  message sooner than a message left on the app. 
Plus I'm a sub so I always follow orders/instructions.😈

I want my work to pay me upfront before I do the work.  It's a Shame there's no return policy on providers who think all they have to do is show up.

Well that’s fine, do what you please. If you wish (not saying you are) to be selfish, uncompromising and self-centered when it comes down to deposits: That’s your choice. But where it becomes an issue is when you reiterate it like it’s some type of disadvantage or wrong doing on the part of the escort. 
Even though I often encourage and require them: I have done with and without over the years, so I’m not just speaking from one side. I’ve experienced both. You keep saying “never never never”. Well then you have no experience beyond what you know. 
 

I do agree with some things you said in is. It will be interesting to watch how rentmen is in a few years. I strongly do believe they need a feature that pays the provider if Clients cancel or flake . 

By all means, if you choose to…just know your decision to post this was well appreciated. Understanding both the escort and client sides and mending the divide between paying and not paying deposits, is something that is going to be a factor in the future of advertising and something I hope can be more widely accepted. 

“… compensation for the time we set aside to see the client, getting ready, touching base with them…”
That’s part of the fee or donation or roses or whatever it’s called. I’ll pay it when I see the provider, not before.

Okay, for your sake, I’ll let this go,

Okay, story 📖 time. I’ve said what I needed to say, time to hear it from other people on websites elsewhere:

 
and

Okay, story 📖 time. I’ve said what I needed to say, time to hear it from other people on websites elsewhere:

 
and

And, good for you. What does name dropping have to do with the discussion? If you have to resort to “who you hired” as some sort of leverage to prove a point, then that goes to show once again your character. News flash: the guys you paid to sleep with you doesn’t make you a better person. Just like me sleeping with a millionaire/billionaire wouldn’t make me a better person than the guys on Grindr doing the same for free. If you think it does, you’re deluded. That just means you can use your money and preference to get what you want, which is not rocket science. Nice try though.
That said, you assume that deposits haven’t changed anything how? Because last time I checked: I have not been stood up by a client who’s sent a deposit at all this year. When I talk about flakes and time wasters, those are the ones who haven’t even gotten to first base: The ones on RentMen messenger who don’t text and the ones who text and don’t get to the 2nd step. Or they have a million excuses. Deposits have helped because if I don’t receive one, I don’t lift a finger. All the, “maybe I’ll see if I can possibly get away sometime” guys never get the chance to mess up my day because I don’t book hotels or even start my car for them without a deposit.
That’s a difference between someone booking a 3 hour appointment and not showing up, and waiting on them. Get your facts straight…
 
Clients who send deposits don’t do that. Now, if you wish to not do it…that’s your prerogative. But stop trying to encourage and leverage others to do it, based on who you seen. That’s very sleazy and low integrity ✋🏾 
 

In the case I refer to, I am more implying like a very nominal amount to schedule. Like a $10/20 booking fee to reach the provider. That would cover the initial setup and access to the provider. And like the ads we pay for, it would likely be non refundable.
From there, the client and provider could discuss whether additional deposit for travel or hosting is needed. The point is, to not be a sitting duck 🦆 for millions of texts and messengers that go nowhere day in, day out.
But of course, leave it to some sites: they rather earn money from us than the “buyer”. I feel not setting a precedent for clients to pay us from the get go, is the reason why the deposit discussion keeps coming up in the first place. RentMen and A4A doesn’t allow rates posting. Lot of these guys talk to us about everything else, except the money. They want to know where we are at, if we’re in town, are we available…but nothing at all payment. Can’t put the 🛒 before the 🐎 
 
Someone here mentioned I bring up the business part too quickly: I say it’s not brung up quick enough. No point in going over a bunch of details, only to get to the rate and/or deposit and they aren’t able to do it. And some here have said they get annoyed if the escort waits until the day of the booking to ask for a deposit.
 
After dealing with someone last month who messaged me twice on messenger, had contacted my profile in the past, and then texted me only to say, “Sorry I only do cash”: I made sure for now on, to include it right next to my number in my auto reply. So now there’s 0 excuse going forward.

Thankyou, I never asked you to in the first place. I don’t know why you felt the need to to make that sly comment on the other thread.
 
Fact is, I did not assume everyone has to “align” to my preferences anymore than you stated: “Personally, I choose not to pay deposits or prepay for services. I've had experiences in the past that taught me this lesson.” 
 
That right there gives the impression that you had bad experiences paying deposits (likely because you didn’t do you due research) and are trying to allude to others not to do so. 
That said, if you don’t want me to address you: don’t address me. Farewell to yourself, I never invited you to respond to my posts, especially if you going to come with an attitude trying to call me out ✌️

Since some people on here think everything I say rubs them the wrong way, I’m just going to quote reference what other providers have to say:
An Escort Explains Deposits
GOODCLIENTGUIDE.COM Flaky behavior, no-call no-shows, and last minute cancellations have become so common that providers seek to... “The costs of hotels and other overhead expenses have also risen. Rents have spiked; it’s now extremely expensive, often prohibitively so, for many providers to rent a separate apartment for incalls, for example. 
Online advertising is now much more expensive. We also incur other expenses to see you: fuel and transportation, childcare, turning down other paid work and other appointments, and so on. Again, these costs are often tied to a singular appointment, so we need you to show up or to be financially compensated if you flake. 
Many factors, too, have led to the apparent rise in overall shenanigans. We may get a lot of inquiries, but a high percentage aren’t serious. Chalk it up to whatever you like – the overall erosion of trust and the social fabric amid a global pandemic, climate change, war, economic jitters, an overall culture of ghosting, etc, etc. But the vibes have shifted. Serious clients differentiate themselves by putting down a deposit”
 
And I think specifically: @JamesB, @Trick, @BostonDadType, and some others need to read this because: y’all are taking it a bit too far making statements that aren’t true. Educate yourself, before you accuse someone of something ✋🏾 🛑 
I refuse to pay a deposit. What should I do?
Only contact providers that don’t require them; then show up for the appointment 100% of the time. If all clients did this, providers would not have to ask for deposits.

I won’t necessarily claim that, considering I have met a few on the forum who don’t mind arranging deposits. Just because they aren’t actively advocating it, doesn’t mean they are against it. 

In my personal experience: I have been side by side with some escorts I’ve met who don’t do deposits, they are often high volume and have guys coming and going at all times of the day. One client leaving, another one coming up. And some be fucking other guys for free in between. Then people wonder why someone can’t cum or perform the way you desired. Of course they don’t care about deposits because, they’re trying to squeeze in as many guys as possible to get the best bang for their hotel bucks. 
I’m not dissing on how anyone works, that’s their personal choice: BUT…I think it has to be realized WHY those escorts some people brag about who don’t do deposits, may be different from those who do. 

Some of us on the other hand, only wish to see no more than 1 or 2 clients a day, and not everyday. That’s a max. I personally don’t have the inclination to see 3-4 guys in a day. Whether that’s massage or escorting. It’s too much logistics to do that, and especially in a hotel or even my own place, I don’t want all that traffic…I have before, but I could count on 1 hand the times I’ve actually seen more than 3 clients in a day over the years. So that’s why when 1 client cancels, it can affect someone’s whole day because there’s no guarantee another client (paying equal or more) will be available to fill the time that day. 
The ONLY time I would recommend not doing a deposit is with a Grindr or met in person client (nightclub, hotel, etc). Those guys aren’t usually looking to pay anyway so, gotta kinda be easy. However, in those situations I only do it when I’m actively available and looking, and they are usually same day on the spot. So if they flake it wasn’t something I expected anyway.

You swear you are making an argument right now lol. That’s not advice, that’s your personal agenda. It’s not advice to assist with his particular dilemma. Quote:
“But a lot of New Clients lately I haven’t asked for a deposit upon meeting and  a lot of clients that I don’t ask for a deposit, they end up flaking on me.”

So where do you come along to keep repeating: “don’t take deposits”. Dude just fucking said it that the new clients he don’t take deposits from, flake on him. What is the missing piece you’re not getting? 
 
Sensible  advice would be: Start taking deposits from all new clients. I think most people in the biz for awhile, know what to do to solve the difficulties we face. It just takes a bit of courage and willingness to let some people go. Some clients may not want to pay deposits? Well it might not be worth the risk to see them. Unless they have some other way to verify.
I told a guy in Cincinnati last month: he wanted me to host, but I said I would need a deposit. He’s like “well, I can host but I need to meet you in public first”. I said okay, well send me a picture of you first (I would have been commuting from another city to Cincinnati). He’s like, “never mind this is too complex”. Really? No compromise. That’s not enough security for me to go drive 4 hours away. 
 
That’s why I say, it’s not even the deposit half the time. It’s their insecurity and desire to control a situation, which at worst can put you in a bad situation…at best have your time wasted for the day. YOU don’t get to dictate what an escort needs to secure and establish their safety and peace of mind. Clients don’t set the rules, escorts do. That’s why you don’t come to us and say how much you want to pay. 

Okay, well if the thread were: “why I don’t care to give escorts deposits” then perhaps you would be on the right track. However, the basis of this was a client who booked a 3 hour session without a deposit, and didn’t show. So now the escort is considering it. Why does it have to turn into a discussion about what you do and don’t care about? 
 
You can’t learn if you stay stuck on what you want and think is fair for YOU. When you are able to see the other side of things, then you’ll see why some people may ask for a deposit, and not consider that being a deal breaker or only reason you won’t see them. That’s ignorant if you can’t be willing to accept why some do it. 
 
You don’t want to pay deposit? Fine. But you might come across someone who does. I’ve explained it already in another thread recently: in some cases both parties are taking a risk, and sometimes the escort is the one who occasionally pays upfront. So if a client feels he doesn’t want to pay upfront either, that can go both ways. I may not want to pay $3.50 upfront per gallon of gas to drive 300 miles away. Or $120 per night plus deposit for a room upfront without a deposit. Does that make someone wrong? How so?
 
And don’t say it doesn’t because that’s exactly what you’re implying. You’re implying the provider should take the risk and you shouldn’t.
Plus, I’m not too sure about you anyway. You said in another thread, that you seen a provider and afterwards forgot your wallet in the car. You sound sketchy AF. Similar to a guy in Riverside California who came to me in Temecula and he’s like: “I forgot my wallet”. And I seen him with no deposit 🤦🏾‍♂️ Luckily, I told him BEFORE i got started…go back and get then. He never came back. He wasted his gas, not mine. But I didn’t appreciate him taking up my whole day only to come with no money 😤 

Your point? No I won’t, because you’re not making any sense talking about a waiter. Then somehow trying to relate that to a sex worker who pays to advertise, and sees clients privately. It’s not the same. Whether you care or don’t care about their overheads is irrelevant. That’s not the discussion. The discussion is: how can escorts ensure they aren’t going to be stood up when reserving time and spending money to see clients? Deposit.
Matter of fact, escort yourself out 🥾 

Wrong analogy. The waiter is covering multiple customers in a setting that is already paid for by a company. It’s also tips, he’s not reliant on 1 table. Gas would be the sole overhead. And what waiter you know is driving 2 hours to work that you know? I’m sure it exists, but maybe in Gordon Ramsay’s kitchen where they pulling 6 figures.
On the other hand, a catering company with multiple staff WOULD likely charge a deposit to host 1 client, who wants an event. See the difference?

Well that’s fine, do what you please. If you wish (not saying you are) to be selfish, uncompromising and self-centered when it comes down to deposits: That’s your choice. But where it becomes an issue is when you reiterate it like it’s some type of disadvantage or wrong doing on the part of the escort. 
Even though I often encourage and require them: I have done with and without over the years, so I’m not just speaking from one side. I’ve experienced both. You keep saying “never never never”. Well then you have no experience beyond what you know. 
 

It’s toxic because you’re ALWAYS on the one side of things, regardless of the information and experiences that are posted. You don’t even acknowledge the circumstances, you just immediately say what you’re not going to do…and then reference other escorts who supposedly don’t) 
 

If many clients don’t like it, then they should be doing their due diligence when it comes down to arranging bookings. Like I said before, I occasionally offer compromises to deposits but some don’t want to do it.
And “putting yourself at the mercy” of flakes and timewasters is unavoidable simply because unless you’re encouraging to stop advertising all together: it’s going to happen anyway. The only way to mitigate best, is to have a fee for contact like I mentioned before.
Also having regulars isn’t necessarily foolproof either. They cancel and flake just as well. I was going to meet a regular in Cincinnati last month, when he seen me posted up. A 2 hour session. Fortunately before I started heading up, the morning of I asked if we were confirmed and to send location and he’s like, “no schedule changed”. Considering the drive was hours away, good thing I didn’t start heading their the night before. And I didn’t even mention deposit because he usually shows up, but he’s often last minute and cancels every other appointment locally. I knew better than to trust him meeting in a different state because, he’s not reliable. Regular doesn’t always mean “reliable”. Let’s get that straight.
 
The only solution is SOMETHING NOMINAL UPFRONT, BEFORE YOU SPEND MONEY OR SET ASIDE TIME. Period.

I think pinning providers against one another is a bit toxic habit, something that some believe is acceptable.
Instead of talking about what you’ll never do, how about just recognizing each individual provider has their individual preference on how they want to book people. That could be based on where that provider may be in their life/business. If someone can afford the time and money loss from flakes, maybe they won’t. Maybe they get plenty of serious clients in their particular area to not need to. Maybe they only see clients by appointment only, and spend their own money when they do, so they have to ask a deposit. It’s not about YOU. 
 
And this isn’t limited to escort industry. I was checking into a hotel in Indianapolis last month. The clerk was like, $50 deposit will be held to your account. Since it was late, and I was a single man with no kids or pets for 1 night, I was like: “I thought y’all only did that when someone books thru Priceline or a 3rd party? I’m a Diamond member.”
He’s like, yeah we used to never require a deposit but after Covid: people started messing up the rooms etc etc so now we do it for everybody. 
 
So guess what? Not only are we also getting the Covid brains, we also have to pay extra out of pocket ourselves. So not getting a deposit, would be a pure luxury from some of us. In my case, the client was hosting and sent me a deposit anyway, I just needed a place to sleep 😴 

I never learned from a man who agreed with me.
Robert A. Heinlein

To be pedantic AF, I wasn't quoting him I was reporting what was said, so I was writing the word as I would always write it. If I had wanted to make a point about how Ford recorded what he had said I could have written 'color' and followed it with (sic) to indicate the non-standard (to me) spelling. But now I'm being silly, and that would be my defence in court! Now, back to deposits.