Jarrod_Uncut

It's not only that; it's that the escort himself is sort of de facto expected to be cool with his partner also playing around with others. I was a year in to a relationship with an escort before the escort was able to bring himself to tell me he actually found my telling him about my 3rd party experiences uncomfortable, and that he didn't actually enjoy telling me his experiences nearly as much as I enjoyed hearing about them. It seems like a double standard at first glance, but I encourage anyone dating an escort to have this difficult conversation, and realize that just because someone's job is in the sex industry, doesn't mean they are - or should be expected to - only have "open" relationships. Had I been older and more wise, I would have noticed this problem earlier - but at my young age, I managed to be oblivious to the fact that my BF only had sex with me outside of his job.

I can see your point here. And from my experiences as an escort, dealing with other escorts; some have differing levels of integrity (the last escort I hung out with thought it was cute to shoplift, so I had to keep my wallet out of reach during the whole 45 minutes I wasted my time meeting back up with him after a pretty hot 3 way client session a week prior) So in some ways, I can understand the client’s end of things. Clients don’t want to be used as a pawn ♟
 
There’s also 1 important thing I noticed in this thread, that no one mentioned:
 
A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough
 
I think what stands out, is the escort contacted the client and asked for a deposit. That in itself was the wrong move. The very few clients who have “sponsored” me, have done so out of their own generosity, and after speaking in person that “if I ever need anything, let them know”. I’d never initiate asking a deposit for future meetings. I would only do that if someone contacts me and wishes to schedule an appointment, not the other way around. Like the other week, someone requested an appointment in a nearby state. All I did was send him my booking links to confirm, and he sent me $500 before we had even set a date. Which was certainly more than what I was expecting. By the time I met him, I had only touched $50 of that, as that’s all I needed to get down there as accommodations were taken care of by him.
 
But it just goes show: I didn’t ask, he offered. I simply made myself available, and did the run down as I always do. I ask for deposits, but generally for visits within the near future, and if it involves travel or hosting when it involve hotels (helps cut down on the “oh I can’t make it” brigade, after I’ve already paid for the venue) Not for some ambivalent future date.

I can see your point here. And from my experiences as an escort, dealing with other escorts; some have differing levels of integrity (the last escort I hung out with thought it was cute to shoplift, so I had to keep my wallet out of reach during the whole 45 minutes I wasted my time meeting back up with him after a pretty hot 3 way client session a week prior) So in some ways, I can understand the client’s end of things. Clients don’t want to be used as a pawn ♟
 
There’s also 1 important thing I noticed in this thread, that no one mentioned:
 
A provider I have met several times texted me today asking for a deposit for our next meetings, since times are tough
 
I think what stands out, is the escort contacted the client and asked for a deposit. That in itself was the wrong move. The very few clients who have “sponsored” me, have done so out of their own generosity, and after speaking in person that “if I ever need anything, let them know”. I’d never initiate asking a deposit for future meetings. I would only do that if someone contacts me and wishes to schedule an appointment, not the other way around. Like the other week, someone requested an appointment in a nearby state. All I did was send him my booking links to confirm, and he sent me $500 before we had even set a date. Which was certainly more than what I was expecting. By the time I met him, I had only touched $50 of that, as that’s all I needed to get down there as accommodations were taken care of by him.
 
But it just goes show: I didn’t ask, he offered. I simply made myself available, and did the run down as I always do. I ask for deposits, but generally for visits within the near future, and if it involves travel or hosting when it involve hotels (helps cut down on the “oh I can’t make it” brigade, after I’ve already paid for the venue) Not for some ambivalent future date.

[quote="marylander1940, post: 1900205, member: 9528"}
yes, but YOU have your shit together while other guys in the business can't even save for next month's bill.

 
an unfortunate situation not unique to escorts.

We're glad to hear that and you're not the only escort grateful with his regular clients who're helping him prepaying him now.
 
Here you have a thread about this subject.

I find it kind of cold.
 
If an escort reaches out for advanced payment, the friends and family Kevin referenced may not exist, or aren't an option. Maybe the escort trusts you more he does them. Additionally, there seems to be a bit of silent blame here toward the escort's failure to put aside several months worth of income. A wise thing that the majority of non-escorts as well neglect to do.
 
It may happen that some escorts resent some appointments, makeup or otherwise. Those guys suck, that's a given.
 
No escort should be looking for handouts. If you can't afford to pre-pay an escort, you shouldn't.
 
If you can and you trust that he'll give you the usual 100% when it happens, Great. And as some have mentioned, if you fear a loan is likely to make him feel uncomfortably beholden, you can make it a gift if you like.
 
Either way, remember that helping others is a proven way of making yourself feel good.

What’s plain ignorant is giving people the false sense of belief that this period is any less safe than any other period, after that after this pandemic is “over”, it’ll be “safe” to hire again. The reason why I mentioned those things, is to make the point that even if and when this thing is long gone, it doesn’t make the biz (or any OTHER type of meeting with a stranger, for sex) any more or less safe than it was around this time last year.
 
Think about the times of serial killers. Do you think people (specifically sex workers) didn’t have their fears and doubts during the time? Was it suddenly “safe” once the killer was caught? Or did people still need to practice common sense, screening, and health assessments?
 
You can huff and puff and tell me it’s different all you want. Whether you wish to see me or not is your prerogative. But when push comes to shove, we’re talking about SAFTEY. And I’m not going to let someone who’s not a sex worker themselves, tell me how to handle my business. Your anger is misdirected. If you’re going to be upset at me, also be upset at the clients who are wanting to have a bit of relaxation for an hour or 2.
 
And my last 2 clients were fit clients who were also business owners with big bank accounts. It’s not like I’m out here pulling senior citizens out of wheel chairs. Don’t be dramatic.

The answer is NO! PERIOD! If you wanna die, go ahead hire as many as you possibly can! ? And no one will come to your funeral!

There's the man bun option.

 
I have a set of clippers and attachments at home but DIY is always a challenge IMO.

That is a very sensible comment. Agree completely. As many good experiences I have had, there is always some danger involved in hiring.

I seen this graph the other day, and thought it was helpful because it is arranged like planets in the solar system. COVID is like a full moon, HIV is like the size of Earth, whereas others in history have been like Jupiter, Saturn and Neptune. Talk about a pain in Uranus ? Of course just because a planet (or pandemic) is small in comparison, doesn’t make it small in size.
 


 

 
 
That’s true. I mean already, I’ve been reading crazy news stories that you just don’t normally hear about.
 
What needs attention just as much as coronavirus? Mental health. Crisis mitigation. And it’s being put on the back burner. And the looneys are out in FULL scale. Hikacking buses in Dallas, threatening to bomb hospitals, driving like bats ? out out of hell...
 
Can’t just lose the nose to save face.

I meant it as a way for escorts to promote themselves for later, you (according to what you posted on other threads) are still available to be hired.

No it's not safe... even if you don't kiss each other nor touch you'll be breathing the same air and less than 6 feet apart.
 
Just save your money and hire after the pandemic is over. That's what I'm doing, and I'm also prepaying some of my regulars who are in need of help.

I would argue that complete isolation is nearly, if not more so, deadly that the virus itself.
Then again, suicide isn’t infectious, so maybe there’s a counter argument to be made.
 
I have mainatianed social interactions with one outside family. They come over for dinner
and vice versa. Their only exposure is my house and my only exposure is them. Is there a risk?
Yes. Life has risks. In this case it’s one I'm willing to take for my own personal sanity.
 
Normally, I would be entertaining 3-4 times a week with various people.
 
To me it’s about “risk reduction”, not some insane absolute.
 
I also fucked men with a condom in the 80’s when I could have abstained completely.
 
Call me a reckless rebel if you wish.

There's a legacy to all that. I've posted this article in several other threads. But it's good news, and one big reason to feel hopeful amidst a gathering storm. All the hard work and dead ends and deaths of that time did result in advances and drugs that have already saved lives in this outbreak.
 
Optimism grows that drugs from past outbreaks may treat coronavirus
Drugs developed in the past to treat malaria, AIDS and other respiratory syndromes are showing promise against coronavirus.

What a happy ending (no pun intended). It's always good to have a client who's willing to front us during the hard times.
 
This is my personal opinion, and I know there's clients who never send deposits or cancel fees, but may tip double the price. So it doesn't mean they aren't generous. But at the same time, I think sometimes people see us tit for tat with other lines of work. Like aka, "i don't pay my dentist upfront". Well yeah but you're not fucking your dentist and seeing naked pictures of him though, are you? And that's the thing: escorts are working technically, even when we're not meeting in person. In some ways, an escort can be like a family or good friend you'd send money to if they needed it. Not just a "Business".
 
Other day I had a client I've never met before drop $500 in my account. Far more than I expected. But, the drive was 3 hours and considering my other client before him royally stood me up, I wasn't complaining.
 
I also have "sponsors" who are willing to front me for future sessions. I felt bad that one in particular was unable to meet me last month. But I was there in his state for nearly 2 months, and he just wasn't able to meet timing wise. Hopefully in the near future.
 
At the same time, I don't want to be in a position where I'm accepting funds months and years in advance, because by then...too much time will have gone by and an escort may feel technically out of pocket.

What a happy ending (no pun intended). It's always good to have a client who's willing to front us during the hard times.
 
This is my personal opinion, and I know there's clients who never send deposits or cancel fees, but may tip double the price. So it doesn't mean they aren't generous. But at the same time, I think sometimes people see us tit for tat with other lines of work. Like aka, "i don't pay my dentist upfront". Well yeah but you're not fucking your dentist and seeing naked pictures of him though, are you? And that's the thing: escorts are working technically, even when we're not meeting in person. In some ways, an escort can be like a family or good friend you'd send money to if they needed it. Not just a "Business".
 
Other day I had a client I've never met before drop $500 in my account. Far more than I expected. But, the drive was 3 hours and considering my other client before him royally stood me up, I wasn't complaining.
 
I also have "sponsors" who are willing to front me for future sessions. I felt bad that one in particular was unable to meet me last month. But I was there in his state for nearly 2 months, and he just wasn't able to meet timing wise. Hopefully in the near future.
 
At the same time, I don't want to be in a position where I'm accepting funds months and years in advance, because by then...too much time will have gone by and an escort may feel technically out of pocket.

Yes, guys are freezing their ads for a world after Covid-19 and in the meantime they won't be charged but their ads won't be visible in searches.
 
I think it's worth paying the monthly fee for 2 or 3 months just to get some attention and potential clients later.

As an aside: has anyone noticed? The amount of ads on both RentMen and RentMasseur has taken a steep dive. Many cities are seeing just 1 page of ads.
 
What I’m seeing is on par with the amount of providers that were around back in 2008-2009, before it came the overly saturated that we once knew of pre-Corona. I just hope RentMen and company can keep things afloat. But I would hope they have a hefty reservoir at this point.

Are you a resident of France or New York? Because the stimulus checks apply to all under $99,000 and the unemployment is being extended to gig and independent contractors, who are typically not eligible for unemployment:
 
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/article/coronavirus-stimulus-package-questions-answers.amp.html

I don't want to get into another deep debate about this, but as I've already said in previous threads...this will come and go and simply become another news story once the next big headline makes way.
 
https://www.cdc.gov/flu/pandemic-resources/2009-h1n1-pandemic.html
 
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/11/26/247379604/2009-flu-pandemic-was-10-times-more-deadly-than-previously-thought
 
Obviously what's happening is a terrible thing that is going to shake up the biz, but so was 9/11, the 2008 recession, swine flu, and the AIDS outbreak (before my time).
 
Look what happened after AIDS: the biggest porn names of all time were created, online male escorting took off, and here we are now.
 
Once the restrictions are lifted, people will be back to their way of doing things. When the pulse nightclub shooting happened, gay bars in Orlando didn't see crowds for awhile. Eventually people came to terms and started getting back into the swing of things.
 
But to answer your question: I plan to keep on trucking with it. I do need to make some changes here and there, but it's not an overnight process. You don't just stop working for yourself, and suddenly going to have something on the ready. As has been the case before this, I plan to situate myself in small markets and avoid the big cities. Recently laid off guys are coming on the scene expecting this to be something to fall back on, so we're going to see people coming and going.
 
As of now, all of my regular clients want to see me...but we're in this stronghold of social suppression, and it needs to be lifted before anything can change.

I don't want to get into another deep debate about this, but as I've already said in previous threads...this will come and go and simply become another news story once the next big headline makes way.
 
https://www.cdc.gov/flu/pandemic-resources/2009-h1n1-pandemic.html
 
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/11/26/247379604/2009-flu-pandemic-was-10-times-more-deadly-than-previously-thought
 
Obviously what's happening is a terrible thing that is going to shake up the biz, but so was 9/11, the 2008 recession, swine flu, and the AIDS outbreak (before my time).
 
Look what happened after AIDS: the biggest porn names of all time were created, online male escorting took off, and here we are now.
 
Once the restrictions are lifted, people will be back to their way of doing things. When the pulse nightclub shooting happened, gay bars in Orlando didn't see crowds for awhile. Eventually people came to terms and started getting back into the swing of things.
 
But to answer your question: I plan to keep on trucking with it. I do need to make some changes here and there, but it's not an overnight process. You don't just stop working for yourself, and suddenly going to have something on the ready. As has been the case before this, I plan to situate myself in small markets and avoid the big cities. Recently laid off guys are coming on the scene expecting this to be something to fall back on, so we're going to see people coming and going.
 
As of now, all of my regular clients want to see me...but we're in this stronghold of social suppression, and it needs to be lifted before anything can change.

Any song titled “Happy” has to make you happy.....
 

I want to add one more perspective to this all. Escorting and dating is almost an oxymoron. I’m not speaking for anyone in particular, or undermining any good escort relationships out there. But most guys in the biz aren’t in it because they’re trying to “date” (unless one is referring to dating=hooking up), or they may have moved on from the dating “rat race”.
 
In my case, I’m over the dating rat race. When I look back over the years, many of the “dates” I’ve had were a waste of time. With some of these guys, you just have to fuck em once or twice, and move on with your life. PERIOD. I be finding most of them only around for convenience, and what you can do for them. They don’t want to contribute, always want me to work around their schedule, etc. Then they criticize and put me down. Dating can be toxic, and I usually find afterwards that the ones I thought were a good catch, turn out to be assholes.
 
My most recent quasi-dating situation: A guy I’ve fucked a couple times last year. Met him in his city the 1st time, St. Louis the 2nd time, Kansas City the 3rd time, and then Florida the 4th time. By the end of the 2nd time, he had already started referring us to just “friends”, no sex. Which is where I should have dropped it then. Because from there, the whole “friendship” became annoying and meaningless. Then I had to listen to him go on and on about some other guy he was trying to be in a relationship with. Goodbye, it was nice knowing you!
 
I also met with a guy over Easter, who I’ve previously “hooked up” with last year. Waste of my time again. I go over to his house, I walk in and he’s playing x box. I haven’t seen him in months. I stay over for an hour, and he’s talking about he has a family video chat and has company coming over later. Prior to that he said he had frat brothers over. I’m thinking to myself, why did I even waste my time going over there? I don’t have time to be trying to “squeeze in” to spend time with someone, when they’re not trying to do the same. That’s equivalent to 250/hr down the drain. Just pointless. I will not be wasting my time with him again.
 
That’s part of why I’ve been sticking with the hobby for as long as I have. Even though it’s not perfect, and can challenge your mental health...it’s not even CLOSE to the level that goes on in regular “dating” situations. Escorting allows all the physical aspects of dating, but without the baggage and drama of getting to “know someone”. And trust me, most of these guys aren’t worth getting to know, because they’re all about convenience and see other gay guys as accessories, not something to invest in.
 
Escorting has taken me from LA to Key West, Provincetown to San Francisco. And everywhere in between. I have clients who I may see once every 1 or 2 years, and we still have like the best relationship when together. I also keep in touch in between. It works for me.

Good point here ??
 
And that’s what I’ve been coming to realize overtime just “dating” many people over the years, who happen to be outside of the biz.
 
I’ve even come to the conclusion that “dating” is no longer going to be in my vocabulary. It’s not that it’s a bad thing or that I don’t believe in it, but it creates expectations and false sense of commitment far too soon. I dealt with that so much in my 20s, “talking to” guys, who were also “talking to” other guys. Or people who hook up a couple times and one claims they were “dating” and another wasn’t. Then someone gets hurt.
 
So nowadays, if I meet someone, and we’re hooking up, we’re only going to be friends who fuck. FWF. If after some time we decide to be more, then it’ll progress to boyfriends. If it’s another escort, great, but I’m not necessarily looking for it to be. But in my experience, like you said, most escorts don’t come to the table with dating on the menu.
 
I’ve had a few connects with other escorts, either thru client 3way (or even 4 way lol) sessions, or RentMen ads. But most seem to be in it for an agenda, not so much giving off a vibe of something date-wise.