Jarrod_Uncut

I've found even having something like a $10 deposit helps, if it's just for short hourly session. Again, even if someone has been ripped off before by sending a deposit, they also may only deal with that once in a blue, whereas we tend to take on requests several times throughout the week. My question: what would you suggest to be an alternative? Especially if say: the escort only books by advanced or notice appointment only (versus the, are you available now brigade), and each time a client doesn't keep an arrangement, various levels of inconveniences can occur? There's really nothing to argue about. If a client chooses to contact a particular provider, they have to be willing to yield to the protocols and order they have established. They wouldn't go walk up in a business and tell them what to do? It's like auto mechanic shops: many charge a diagnostic fee, many don't. You can't moan at BMW to not charge a diagnostic fee, just because the other shop down the street doesn't. At the end of the day, it's our business. I don't like when someone contacts me, and tells me how to run things. The problem is, these people have control issues. And some have the audacity to call shots when they've not even contributed anything.

You make a good point. I periodically do this also, usually via the email system on either RM site. I have had some visits come out of them as well. However, there has been some other takes, where other members have said if they look at someone’s private pics, it may just mean they are just looking...not to be given an “offer”. But I know for most part, I like the opportunity to reach out to clients who view my profile. Someone who flaked in their appointment the other day, attempted to liken contacting me to shopping in a store. Where people can “shop around” before making a “purchase”. I say no, it’s not the same. Shopping around at a store would be like browsing the ads, viewing our pics and reading the ad. I’m fine with that. And for the most part, most videos on RentMen I post are short clips, so I really don’t look for money out of those. But when it gets down to contacting me at early or late hours of the morning/night, and providing hotel details, talking dirty and explicit...and then they bail: then it gets personal. I liken it to contacting a personal trainer at a gym, out the blue...and asking if they can meet TODAY for a training session. And said personal trainer discusses when they are available, and other said person just bails or gives some weak excuse about forgetting it’s Father’s Day. That’s not shopping around. That’s being a hack. Yet some of these guys honestly actually believe, that contacting a sex worker on a private number and talking nasty, is like shopping in a store. Pathetic. But I really shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve already had 2-3 other guys in my personal life talk of meeting, one even suggested 2 days, and neither one followed thru. No explanation, no offer to reschedule...and they don’t see anything wrong with it. My mood might just be cloudy until I finish relocating, and not have to deal with so many inconsiderate jag-offs that exist in the Kansas City gay community.

Thanks...I take what you’re saying to consideration 100 percent. I'm on Twitter already and have the video platforms. However it's really a lot of living and breathing the industry and porn, sometimes it's more attention than I can really give throughout the day. I do somewhat “forget” how things are “out there”. Yes there’s a pandemic, and unemployment, and racial tensions. But whenever I’m available during holidays, I’m usually available only with coordinating planning. I can sense when people try to use the RM or any m4m hookup site to pass boredom, contacting on a day where generally I’m not in the mindframe to deal with nonsense. I may not have any big plans, but that doesn’t mean I want to be messed about into seeing if I’m available. It’s almost as if they are only curious to know if we actually are, with no real intent to make anything happen. I currently have a 3 step template for clients to follow, with the 3rd being to leave a deposit. I try to be lenient and talk to them and get more details, but clearly it’s not getting thru. So it seems the best way to acknowledge that my time is of value, whether that be texting me at 9:30 am when I’m still half sleep (which one of the flakes over the weekend did), or messaging me on messenger while I’m at the gym, is with some form of a pre-contribution. Ultimately, I ended up just turning my phone off for the rest of the night yesterday. And at this point I hardly want to engage with anyone else, without a deposit. On the next 4th of July holiday, I'll be sure to keep my phone off the whole weekend. Because I remember pretty clear last year, the nonsensers were out in full force. It really makes them look sad and bad, that their form of entertainment on a national holiday, has to involve making fake appointments with sex workers from the Internet.

And here’s another example of the stupidity I’m over: Me at 3:49 pm: Hi, just following up as I’ve not heard back yet on details for location or timing, and you previously said 3 or 4 or later. If I don’t receive a text by 5 pm today to confirm, I will assume other plans for the day. Him at 6:20 pm: “Yes sorry... when I was chatting with you earlier this morning I failed to realize it was Father’s Day. I am at my families tonight for a barbecue. My apologies” -Chaddy on RentMen This is after sending me all these messages about being a piggy bottom, saying he has a friend who wants to join for a 3 way, and other explicit questions. And this is what I spent my money on to advertise for this week? To deal with this bullshit? I wrote to RentMen and included a link to this post as well. I told them before to implement something better for us. They need to be making clients pay for our videos, pay for our private pics unlocked, and pay for messaging us on messenger, because WE are paying to BE ON THERE. And I don’t get paid when people waste my time chatting, many who are doing so explicitly. I’m tired of paying my money and having my time wasted. Even if I do recoup the ad fee a few times over before the next billing date, I still shouldn’t have to be dealing with this nonsense, after I’ve paid my money to be on the platform. They can do better, and I want to see better.

Lol yes, that’s what I was referring to. I have my fans page link in my signature (not sure why it doesn’t show on mobile version) I didn’t mention that as part of what I earned this week. Was more referring to the actual clients I received. Also it’s not simply that the contacts aren’t happening. The contacts have happened, but I had 2 clients contact yesterday and nothing came from it, and again today someone contacted me on messenger discussing scheduling a meet...never texted as instructed, no confirmation...yet I took the time out to respond to the messages. Exactly why I keep my messenger on auto reply and don’t even respond most of the time. With that said, I still had funds set aside for my ads...but the past couple weeks has had its challenges because I haven’t been on tour, which I’m long overdue for because the Kansas City market is horrendous for trying to get ahead in. So even the best money setting aside and saving, isn’t going to cut it if the expected return on investment Isn't coming in. Exactly why I am moving this week...which of course is adding to my expenses. I don’t ask them to “pay upfront”. But I do give the suggestion to confirm via a small deposit (usually 25-50 locally). I have a friend who is a wedding planner, and he gets 50% for every event. Because it’s money spent on preparedness. Especially like the case yesterday, the person is saying to meet him at a hotel clear out downtown, but wouldn’t give a timeframe to meet. Being it’s a high demand weekend, I didn’t have time to be sitting around waiting to know if or when he would get back to me. So I simply asked to go ahead and send me a deposit, so I know that this is an appointment being made. But I understand also, the deposit is there to ensure I don’t forgo other clients or things in my life, waiting around for someone to confirm based on nothing more than a name of a hotel and a fake name (which someone gave me yesterday).

I ask because somehow, all my ads have come to be due around the same week every month (Varies between $100 and $150/month depending on what sites and tier levels). Which in this case, was last week. I used to try and space them out, let one be due 1 week, and another on the next week or 2 weeks apart. But that would either mean paying it again before it runs out, or waiting for a week or 2 to renew. Even though I wanted the continued visibility, I don’t like how I spend $150 on ads last week, and only had 1 client the whole week (a regular, and it was prior to my ads expiring). So I basically spent half of what I made last week, and put it towards ads...and having nothing to immediately show for it. All just RentMen messengers, which are auto-responded anyway...and requests for appointments in the city I’m not in yet. Which is really when I was considering waiting before renewing, since my current market isn’t paying me much of shit anyway. Some weeks I struggle with deciding whether it’s worth to the renew the ads right away, or let them lapse for a few days. Especially when approaching holidays or upcoming bills. On the one hand, I can hold onto my money, but on the other hand I know I could be missing client requests/pre-bookings. But instead of making the money right away, I usually end up having my time wasted the first week I renew my ad. And that’s money I could have used to pay a bill or put food on the table. And tinewasters wonder why I am so unforgiving to their bullshit. I’m paying with the intent of making that money back within a day or 2, and instead I end up waiting even longer to get it back. That’s why I just really wish and hope things get to a point where clients PAY for our ads. By the way of getting our number or seeing private pics, which I’ve suggested before to RM enterprise, but they have not yet implemented my advice. Similar to how Justforfans and onlyfans works. Clients pay to see us, and the site takes their cut out of the money we earn. Not the other way around. That’s partially why so many are turning to such sites. The escort/massage sites make us pay upfront; but yet some clients want to get huffy and back out, when we ask for money upfront. Some of these guys contacting us can’t seem to understand that we actually have to pay for the ads, they are contacting us on. So I 100% have a right to ask for a deposit, and ask for a cancellation fee when I feel it’s warranted. It’s not FREE. There’s a FEE. And if I’m spending money so that clients can find and contact me, last thing I want is to be toyed with. Not after I spent my earnings, out of pocket.

Exactly, and that’s what I had someone tell a client today also: just because someone has a RentMasseur ad doesn’t make them real either. This is after he claims to have been burnt sending deposits to other escorts. I dislike when people say that because it’s like, what does that have to do with me? It’s no different than if the provider wasn’t their real pics, didn’t perform as expected, or had a place in the worst part of town instead of an prestigious area of town. I tell em, did you even check if the person was reviewed?

Well remember, which came first the chicken or the egg, right? It's not that a provider who states don't waste my time, is approaching clients with skepticism. They obviously didn't start having their time wasted on their own. Obviously there must have been some experiences to make them feel that way. You may not start out to waste time. But also in that case, you are not personally being told not to waste time. It's an ad. It's being directed at all. Fact is though, you wouldn't always know what a provider may deal with in terms of having their time wasted. Like I say, I personally don't mind communication...but I can't extend the same priority to every person who contacts me, else I would be burning thru lot of time and setting myself up for disappointment. I obviously have to reserve that for confirmed clients. I know for me: I've not had but 1 client in my area show up last week (a regular). All replies were either from guys in the next big city over, or local timewasters who hit me up on Rentmen messenger but never followed directions to contact by phone. Or just general Kansas City inquiries, who are some of the biggest timewasters of all markets, but also similar to Tampa, Raleigh, and few other places that I wouldn't care to name. So, I really want to say "don't waste my time" when contacting me, but it's part of why with deposits... the ones who aren't serious won't generally get past that anyway.

Definitely. However with me, I have moved away from a lot of the chit chat. Not that I don't like to, but in the past have not had people respect my time. Nowadays I never answer phone calls without the client having an appointment made and confirmed. People don't understand that chat time is money time. I've been bamboozled into engaging in explicit or promising phone chats, only to be cancelled on. So if anyone wishes to chat, I just ask for $50+ deposit towards the session. That's not asking a lot. Our ads and pics and videos pretty much do all the pre-workout for us.

I would! I'm all about boating....

Makes sense. I can unapologetically say I'm definitely not in the best place right now life wise. Not that it's horrible (the gym is open so still trying to maintain image wise). But it's more just everything else. Car troubles, men troubles, family troubles, friend troubles, living situation troubles, my current location market troubles (Kansas City is becoming among my list of most miserable cities I've lived in) and the just goes on lol. I know they say you have to "be the man who you want to date", and that nobody wants to be with someone miserable. But it's hard when things aren't falling into place even with the best attempts and intents to make it go right. Financially I've actually been pretty good this year despite the current events, but it's like one thing after the next, and still don't have much of a social circle to do anything when I do get the money. So it's like I've been getting the money and basically just spending it on bullshit every week. But I'm hoping once I make this relocation next week, things will improve. It may even take me a few weeks to shake the residual effects of being in a recurring state of unhappiness and disappointment everytime something doesn't seem to be working out. That's why all the stuff about Covid 19 and Black lives matter... it's great, but I'm struggling with asthma almost everyday (didn't have this problem in Florida lol) and I still don't feel like anyone outside of my paying clients, thinks my life matters.

Well in my case I wasn’t using it as an ultimatum. And I can see 100% where he’s coming from. That’s why I worded it careful: if I don't hear from you by 6 pm Friday, I'll assume you have other things to tend to". Instead of something like, “I’ll call someone else if I don’t hear back by 6 pm Friday.” That way there’s no ultimatum being made. It’s just stating a deadline that someone needs to know something by, and if not...that takes out the guesswork or wondering and waiting. But the point is, to at least SAY it. I hate when people ask me about appointments in advance, and then I may need a day or 2 to think about whether I can accommodate, and when I get back I get told they made other plans because THEY THOUGHT I wasn’t interested. To avoid that I try to just respond anyway, and try to let them know I am interested to meet, but need more time to get back and let them know if I can do it. And also, “available now” has been spoken of before. Yes, if you are with a client...turn off available now. That’s not fair. But...it doesn’t always mean “available right now”. It’s like when an apartment is for rent, or a mechanic shop is open. It doesn’t mean you rent it right that second. Nor that your car is immediately going to get taken into the service bay. It just means available to “be available”.

I hear what you’re saying. It’s all valid. However, when you say kids, pets, family, etc...not everyone has that. It’s easy to fall back on and build a life once those default things are in place. I also know of a guy who has an older daughter as well...and even though we’ve talked of meeting, I’m telling myself I don’t want to go back down that “path” again: Namely one where I’m playing 2nd base. So, my options will certainly involve others outside of that. My question: what do you think you’d be if you didn’t have the kids, family and dog to center you? Not saying that to imply those values are “material”, but hypothetically: if you didn’t, how do you think your world would be different? I personally don’t have any kids. Pets aren’t a good option right now either, because I’ve been out of my own place for going on 2 years now, and trying to race to get back into one. And most places make it pretty undesirable to move in with a pet, on top of everything else. No desire to have kids (and why would I considering everything) I know there are guys who can play the role of family man, and single gay guy. But in my opinion, it’s capitalizing on the “system”. Not just money either. And rightfully advantageous in doing so. With kids you get tax dependents, and a broader social horizon. You can be the “respected” family man that this country is so infatuated with, but in the same vein, the “gay men” out here having kids knowing they are gay, is throwing biologically gay and “out” men under the bus...making it seem like gay men without kids don’t have responsibilities, have lesser importance and contribute less to “the family society”, and are selfish and can’t take care of anyone but themselves. Meanwhile, reaping all the benefits of being a “family man” on the side. I’m not citing that all gay guys who have kids are doing it for a gain, but I do many want their cake and eat it too. They want gay camaraderie, on the side when it’s convenient for them. And some may even want it long term and are consistent. But anytime you have kid in the mix, it’s almost like having to contend with another partner. Like the guy I’ve been talking to since we first hooked up earlier this year said to me yesterday, “I can’t meet, I’m going out of town with my daughter for the weekend”. How does one interpret that? I’m supposed to feel like..nothing about it? You said it right: “my kids come first and because of that, I don’t have a desire to be in a relationship.” And that’s exactly what happens. Some want to have 1 foot out the door. Half being family man, other half being gay man. That's fine for client/escort arrangements. But in regular situations, it's not going to work being 1 in the same, unless both parties actually move in together. Which I've seen happen. But I always feel some sort of way about the one who moves into that situation, ultimately playing substitute mother or father to the person's kids. No Thankyou. I ain't about being bamboozled into becoming some live in babysitter for nobody. Obviously if the person had adult sons or daughters, that could make a difference. Or not.

And that's 100% fine (pardon if the rating I gave your post comes off as a dislike, just referring to the general idea). Why does it have to be a Disney way of things when it pertains to gays though? Why do I have to be out here, can't even fucking have a movie date or Saturday night plans, when straight people out here are going out on dates and shit? Yes, I Agree many marriages are for practical reasons. But at the same time, I'm not talking about marriage lol. I'm talking about consistency. It says a lot when somebody can connect with me on a sexual level, but yet can't seem to turn it into anything substantial. Does this person not like ANYTHING else about me? Or did they? If someone feels like no desire or prerogative to at-least feel like wanting to be seen with me outside of the bed, then I might as well stick with paid appointments. I'm not looking for a notch on my belt, I'm hoping for a connection outside of clients... it doesn't have to be marriage, but at-least an attraction that carries some type of friendship. I'll say, this used to be a little more common circa 2000-2005. Guys would at-least put some kinda effort into making the other gay feel human. Nowadays, they don't even try. Worse yet, they rub it your face...no tact. No class. Just trash.

In the same vein: if that's true, those are all phrases indicative of someone who just can't be real with others. And what happened to the lack of priority when they were all too eager to fuck last time? When I tell clients those things, most likely it really is that. I've had to reschedule a couple clients this week because I was busy...and I wouldn't doubt many clients likely the same.

Whoa Whoa whoa, let's back up. One question at a time. If we answer the first question, that'll kinda help answer all the others. How much time do you spend waiting? Well how much time did you agree to? Do you tell them, "if I don't hear from you by 6 pm Friday, I'll assume you have other things to tend to"? If not, you should. If they don't reply, you know what to do next. This is where clients get mixed up. They assume, and then start contacting others, without actually giving some sort of parameters. Once a provider starts communicating with you, don't go making other plans unless it's clear that the person hasn't responded within the time parameters discussed. And that may have to be up to an hour prior to an appointment time. I've had more than enough times where clients have been like, "oh I didn't hear back so made other plans". That's a real dick move. Because I never consulted them to tell them I had cancelled or made others plans. They simply assumed and took it upon themselves to make other arrangements, despite the concessions that were already planned. That's a $200 cancellation fee. But lately to avoid that, I just try to make sure #1 the session is confirmed with deposit and #2, make sure they know, that I know...once we make plans it's made. No need to confirm and reconfirm unless I specifically say: "check with me the day before to re-confirm." Also I tell people don't assume I do or don't have other appointments. Clients always think when they don't hear back instantly, the escort is making other appointments. Remember, we're in the middle of a pandemic, recession/depression, and nationwide social unrest. There is still demand out here, but most days, it's also very dead. Dead, dead. Zombie apocalypse dead (okay I'm exaggerating) ? So I'm not turning down any clients, I'm only blocking timewasters who contact for appointments, and then don't follow thru. I've also left my Rentmen messenger on auto reply, and pretty soon may no longer be responding to messages on Adam4Adam. Only direct texts. The site is a magnet for indecisive, inconsiderate mind fucks who can't be relied on for serious inquiries. Fortunately, it still brings real clients my way...so I try and deal.

That escort in question sounds like self absorbed, and that is absolutely 100%, not the answer to give to a client. I mean, I've given/give clients some brusque responses as well...but there's no reason to be a downright dick about shit. If I cancel, I will absolutely give a plausible reason. A client does deserve an explanation, likewise does an escort. Only a man of low integrity would think otherwise. Even if someone fucked up, just say it. Overscheduled, bad day, car broke down...it'll at-least give enlightenment to the situation, and avoid hard feelings. What you talk about is almost similar to my recent post about client sex versus hookup sex, and why hookups tend to be less consistent in the long run, despite the fact that they're getting something "pro bono". My personal experience, and reason why I don't fuck with many, if any other escorts nowadays: with the exception of the gracious guys on this site...most of the escorts out there ain't about shit. Just like most of the guys on hookup apps ain't about shit. Fuck em once, and turn em loose is mostly what they're good for. Not a goddamn, MF-ing thang else. Not because they're actually bad people, but because they're only about themselves. They see exchanges as what they can get out of it, not what the other person can get out of it. Just because someone posts an ad on the internet naked, doesn't give them clout. Lot of these guys be on drugs, be using fake pics, are half straight guys trying to play gay, in an open relationship, or only do it as a sport, not a career.

Sometimes I find if you’re using a public WiFi like your gym or Walmart, it’ll automatically block access to any “porny” like sites. I have good 5g, but my phones will still auto connect to open networks that I’ve already signed into previously.

That's so true. And equally sad. And I'll add: With everything going on about ethnic relations and BL'sM, I think it goes even a little deeper. Being that most of the guys, in most cities I come across are White guys (and admittedly are the ones who seem to hit me up and go thru with hookups the most). I think there's this unspoken truth that many White guys only go as far as hooking up and having sex with BLMs. Anything deeper like a friendship or relationship, only happens every so often. If it and when it does, I always find its because the Black dude has something the White guy wants: Usually a happening career, big social network, or access to the "parTy scene.". Having a BBC is usually not enough. At least for White guys under 50 lol. I find the older White guys usually have less requirements and expectations, hence why client relationships have worked so well for me lol. I'm just like, it's 2020. Why are gays still thinking and operating like it's 1950...when our straight counterparts are dating, getting married, and having interracial kids together... meanwhile it's so fucking hard to find ONE, who's not just in it for the sexual aspect. BUT....I'm also not saying black on black gay relationships just happen easily either. The last time I had anotha brotha ask me on a date, and take me...was last August in D.C. for my birthday. And that was like once in a lifetime because it was also a fancy restaurant lol. But of course, location location location. I'm almost just resolving to accept it. I guess it's not the worse thing to have a different guy sucking me off or getting fucked every week. I mean, I don't even have to jerk off considering anytime I'm not having sex, I'm replenishing my loads lol. At the same time, it's just so shallow. I don't mind fucking on the 1st meet, but if they can't fulfill my social aspects of things, it's only half the satisfaction.

The waiter in question doesn't sound like he was an escort. He just happened to be one of those "kept" guys. Those types are different and they feel more privileged than being an actual escort. They're a different breed all together. What do you define as the sexual marketplace? A site where gays are on? And what do you define places that are not like that? Applebees? The grocery store? The gym? Lol. I mean let's be real: Unless a person already was "born into" a social scene (either due to their job, having lived in the same city all or most of their life, or live in the city), where can other gays meet that's not sexual BUT can leave the door open for sex. E.g., avoiding hitting on a straight guy? Obviously hookup apps popular for a reason because the same guys are on there for years. I go thru phases myself where I delete the app, but with the closing of bars due to COVID, that really allowed 0 ways of connecting with other gays outside of clients. I've even do the occasional gym and restaurant "hit", Most times those never lead to more than just getting a Facebook or Instagram handle. Only been handful of times in life, that I met someone in public and it lead to something. It seems most interactions start from hookup apps as starters, and it either goes 3 directions: turns into friends, turns into a couple more hookups, or just never meet up again. And until I fully move out of the miserable Kansas Shitty market, client biz. continues to be sparse. However there are times I just like to tune it out and focus on clients.

And in cases like this, I've grown to just move on most of the time. Lot of times it don't be worth trying to get them to "be real". At the same time, I do occasionally call guys out if I sense there's no salvaging the relationship any further, and they're being blatantly passive aggressive. Just like in the above response. It's SO FUNNY because, it always gets guys talking...once you call them out on their shit. Then they want to try and protect their integrity, knowing goddamn well they don't have a single fucking ounce of it. But most times, it's not worth it. Lot of these guys are overly inflated trash bags. They only use apps and hookups to get ego boosts. To make themselves feel good about themselves for a short time, and then go back to whatever fake pretend life they live behind the scenes. I been doing this for 20 years, have seen it and heard it all. Like the escort who has been hounding me to fuck him raw, then got mad when I told him I'm not looking to meet on a sex first basis, especially if he's not trying to be on my justforfans. Why the fuck would I want to fuck, just for the sake it? Lol. I was saying on my Facebook the other day: being gay is not a noun. It's a verb. Something that's "done", versus something that "is". But I know that's not how gay people should see things. But I'm just seeing it for how they see it.

Selfish is the key word. That's what majority of the people there are. I just had an "argument" with a guy from an app I've met last month. For one, it took a whole year to actually meet (didn't live in same town, but only an hour out). Now that we have met and had a hot time and he even seemed up to meet again, he has made 0 effort to try and get us in the same place. Always claims to be working, or being invited to different parties and get togethers... yet has not 1 time asked or invited me to go. Just says he can't invite anyone. I finally called him out on it today. I'm not fixing to be wasting my time on someone who clearly can't be bothered to involve me in anything they do. He seems to have various excuses about how it's private, or he can't invite anybody, and doesn't want to have to worry about someone. Whatever the fuck that means. But yet he says he does want to meet again, and it wasn't a 1 time thing. blah blah blah Just fucking say you don't want to bring me because you feel some shame or don't think I'll feel welcomed. Guys be having 100 excuses. Idk why they try to hold onto something that they know they're not invested in anyway. I'm smart enough to pull the plug if I have to.

...I’m sure there wouldn’t be any complaints about the heavier cub in this photo lol. Perfect conclusion. It does. But one thing I’ve noticed, COVID19 has “killed off” a lot of Timewasters ? But maybe now at least people understand, it’s not funny or amusing to waste the time of someone on the frontlines, risking their health. Maybe now they realize it’s a sick, unhealthy, and weird thing to do. Some still haven’t learned, and continue...but they’ll get theirs.

I know an escort like that who lives in my area. Everytime he messaged me, it was about fucking his hole. Finally I told him, “dude...you said you wanted to be travel buddies, but all you’ve ever put on the table is fucking you”. We’ve not actually met because it was always, come over now and fuck. Maybe he’s that type of provider, but I’m not that type of provider. All my clients must book in advance, and hookups are no different. Then he had to audacity to say, “delete his number”. I said, “I already had sex last night and this morning, so I don’t need to meet you for sex today”. I was trying to meet n greet on a respectable level...he just wanted to get stoned and come over a fuck. Which brings me to this: 100%. That so very true with #1. I think the key is the expectations part. I think deep down some guys feel there’s some expectations to be...expected. Sex first, no expectations later ??‍♂️ Traveling brings us into contact with more people, but it can limit the chance for those turning into something worthwhile. I’ve actually been on a little break from traveling due to everything going on (pandemic, peace demonstrations, etc). So in this time I’ve been trying to cultivate some friendships that were missed connections, but I’ve been off the road since March, and the guys STILL aren’t consistent. I spent my whole Memorial Day weekend with no plans with anyone I knew. Fortunately I made up for it the next week when a fuck buddy and his friend came to town, but that really just had me at a low point. Sometimes I wonder if it’s shame or race related. Maybe they feel a way about having gay sexual desires, maybe they feel a way about meeting a guy of a different ethnic background. I know it’s not a city based thing, as it seems to be the same way in most EVERY city in this country. However, some places seem to be more prone to it than others. Places like Nashville, Orlando, Kansas City: they seem to raise these gay guys in these conservative, backwards, intolerant upbringings, so when they are adult...they don’t know how to be in a relationship. Places like San Francisco, DC, Chicago...gay people seem to understand that you can do more than just meet another man for sex. AND WHY do I always see Black/White straight couples in most any city or suburb, but NEVER any Black/White gay couples except in porn and at gay bars/villages. ? And then when you do, people discriminate and do things that make it difficult to be together. Like the motel clerk last month said, “I didn’t know there was going to be 2 people staying in that room”. Bitch, is it a problem?

That's only what they want people around them to think. And they may be rightfully so, around them. But those also be the same ones who tend to perpetuate meeting for convenience only. They have their "regular" life, but once in awhile they'll venture out... And when it's over, they go back to what they were doing before. And forgetting about the guy they just met. Hence why nothing consistent comes out of it. Like one guy I met after we fucked: he says the next morning, "time to get back to reality". So what we did was merely a fantasy. An escape. Nothing more to come about.