Jarrod_Uncut

Driving across is even more strict. It’s a traffic stop on steroids. I did it once, and never again. Like I said, Canada can stay up there...there’s plenty of cities in this country I can enjoy. I mean, I’d love to go to Edmonton, and Calgary, and Montral/Toronto...but if it’s going to be akin to judgment day, standing in front of the father, the son, and the Holy Ghost...while trying to enter the gates of heaven...I can wait a little longer til my time comes. If it’s that much work, I rather go to Africa. The motherland and the most diverse continent of them all, versus Canada. Find me a Moroccan sugar daddy, an Egyptian sugar daddy, a Nigerian sugar daddy, a South African sugar daddy...

I know what I posted and I know what I read. There’s more than enough examples out there about Canadian entry for me to not have to do extra work to explain. DUI is not the only example. There’s plenty other reasons out there. And you even said it yourself:

I was just making a statement about wanting to go to Canada, but that I’m aware it’s not a simple entry process for all. That’s all I was saying. At this point though, I’ve not really been interested in going up though. If I want to go to Canada, I can just go to Florida, Michigan, or any of those Great Lake states, and get the similar experience without the immigration hassles lol. And despite the fact I travel like every month, there’s still a handful of cities right here at home I’ve not been in years. San Francisco, Houston, Boston, SLC, Seattle...it’s been years since I’ve been to those places. So why go to Canada when there’s still places here I can catch up on.

? I already see I’m going to have to talk to you INDIRECTLY. I can’t quote anything you say because you go out of your way on being rude and disrespectful, just like the other one you was beefing with. Y’all should get along fine. Otherwise, don’t make assumptions. I’m very much a citizen and I don’t have anything felonious on my record, so don’t question my background ✋? But...since you defer, here you go. Do your research. It’s true if more than 2 people are saying it. https://m4m-forum.org/threads/australian-couple-denied-entry-into-canada-because-of-dwi-fine-in-australia.116760/

I would hope so, because we’ve been paying to be on those sites all this time.

I’ve always wanted to go to Toronto or Montreal. One of my middle school teachers in Florida was from Toronto, and he pretty much taught us everything about Canada and Toronto lol. I know for a fact I would make big bank out there as well. But it’s still somewhat hard for Americans to get into Canada. Every city outside of Los Angeles and NYC, because I never get much in LA, and I’ve still never “worked” NYC lol. Also, clients and sugar daddies are 2 separate things. I have a friend (White guy, which makes a difference) in Denver who has a sugar daddy. He’s brought him cars, $1,000s of dollars, everything. He now doesn’t even work, and he’s almost 40. But as far as my knowledge goes, his sugar daddy has never hired “escorts” so to speak. I find sugar daddies are common in larger gay cities. In those places, guys tend to not want to pay an escort. It’s like a client in Orlando I had years ago, who wanted to be my “boyfriend”. I didn’t want that, he wasn’t my type (I thought he was attractive, funny, and kind...but he wanted a certain lifestyle for me that I wasn’t looking for). And I feel sleazy getting into a relationship with someone because they have money. I may be a sex worker, but I’m not the type of person who chooses a man because he has money. I rather be with a broke guy my age who I’m attracted to, than to base my relationship on status. I find smaller markets and towns tend to do better at meeting “clients”, usually the discreet married types don’t want to “sugar” anyone, they are fine with an occasional pay arrangement. There’s a reason why places like LA, Miami/FTL, Nashville/Raleigh/Charlotte, San Diego, Atlanta, and Chicago are hard sales. Those towns have a fair share of guys who are financially challenged, in a city with guys who are fairly wealthy. So, those types feel they don’t have to buy an escort, when they can find someone who wants $100. But that’s why I’m glad to be 32 and getting older, because I’ve graduated from the “broke black boy” stereotype, to the “commanding black entrepreneur”. The only thing I do now for 100, is a deposit towards a longer session ☝?

Hell, I could ask myself the same question lol. Everytime I go to DC I don’t want to leave. A 3 day trip turns into 3 weeks. But DC is also an advanced level city to work in. The traffic, the weather, the competition, the prices, the constant crime and government presence...it’s a lot, not to mention the fluctuating racist/classist undertone. It takes a strong person to be succesful in DC. The ones who are, are quite adept. They’ve found their comfort zone, and have become part of the culture. Meh...idk. I remember one of the EOY from DC told me, “there’s no convenient spot in DC.” Meaning, no matter where you are in the DMV, you’re going to be convenient or inconvenient to someone. Last time I was there, I spent a few days in the Maryland/Alexandria area. I actually was pretty busy. Nobody said I was too far. However, sometimes people won’t want to go across to VA. Or they’ll be clear out in Bowie or Largo. That’s why it’s good to have a car in DC. There’s potential in the whole metro, and staying in DC proper and paying those prices, isn’t always necessary.

I’ve been on that side of the spectrum as well. Not necessarily from clients, but prospective fuck buddies as well. And yes that’s annoying and disrespectful. I currently have a prospective fuck buddy who’s been doing that the past 2 or 3 times we’ve tried to meet, and even though I’m being understanding...After the last time I just about gave up, because he texts me at 10 am, then doesn’t respond to my messages until damn near 1 am, the next day. And I was really trying to coordinate things, and because he didn’t respond, I lost motivation. I’m going to give him another chance, but only because most our plans have been tentative. It’s a difference between having a life, and having a DOUBLE life. And a mofo who takes 12 hours to reply to a text, is living the latter. That’s understandable. And that’s why I said, I don’t want to lecture or explain why I have a life. Once we meet, I usually find clients are pretty cool talking about real life stuff, but beforehand I know it can sound dramatic, so I try to not bring up too much. I’m not looking for sympathy, but boundaries and understanding. For example. Couple months ago, clients kept wanting to meet the week I was in the hospital for 5 days, and I had to keep finding excuses that I couldn’t meet. I enjoyed being able to communicate from my hospital bed, but in some ways I could sense them wanting to meet ASAP, and in my mind, I was like...if only they knew. But of course that would be unnecessary information, and with COVID 19 coming into play at the time, last thing I wanted to do was mention anything about hospital (aka contagious). So I would just say I was busy for a few days, and check with me next week. Once we met, I did tell them why I couldn’t meet...but that I wasn’t diagnosed with Corona.

I say this because lately, I been feeling like there’s this unspoken expectation. The expectation being that we as men of the evening are “available” and in the mood at all times. Ready to chat by phone, ready to talk dirty by texts, ready to drop what we’re doing and dash out the door for some much needed cash. As much as I’m honored that my ad gains attention, there’s another side to it. I don’t want to spoil anyone’s fantasy, but truth of the matter is...one never knows what’s going on behind the scenes in a sex worker’s life. And I know it’s not necessary to explain it to a prospective client, but the other night I had to sharply let someone know: we have a life too. What gets me are guys who get frustrated because I have to move the times around, and they say, “well if you can’t be here by X time, let’s just cancel” or “you moved the times twice already, etc”. Yet I want to tell them, before today...or yesterday or whenever you messaged me, I had NO IDEA this meeting was ever going to take place. There was a whole life happening, before they contacted me. I have also usually have no idea of their schedules either. I know communication is key, but most of the times, setting up an appointment involves just the necessary essentials. Even though I try to predict when a client may contact (sometimes I try to leave evenings free, but then I may get calls first thing in morning or mid afternoon), but Sod’s law has it, it doesn’t work that way. I rarely ever get appointments when I’m “ready” to take them, I usually get them when it’s least expected...which involves some compromising on my end. It can be hard to switch gears from one frame of mind to another, in a short amount of time. How do you best convey that you are interested in scheduling a visit, but that you need a day or 2 before you’re in the position to see anyone? Someone called me while we were texting today, and I just straight up said I can’t chat, I’m the middle of something right now. Which I was, and I was not willing to chat about something that I was perfectly fine discussing by text.

Good word ?? But I think at the end of the day, this isn’t simply a provider, or male escort issue. I think it’s a GENERAL gay issue as well. All the stuff about meth and taking advantage of, exists in the gay community beyond escorting. Escorting is simply an activity within the lifestyle. Like I’ve said before, spend any significant time in a gay bar or gayborhood, and “messed up” men are nothing out of the ordinary. And that’s not picking on or putting down anyone, it’s just how the gay lifestyle is. Last Sunday I was out and about (albeit in the White suburban area of the Midwest), and when I look around, there’s no gay couples. All you see is family and married guys. I see guys I’m attracted to, before I know it their wife and kid runs up to them (which doesn’t mean we can’t fuck, but still...). I don’t see anyone I can relate to. THAT, fucking messes me up. Me going out and making $300 to fuck, doesn’t mess me up. Dealing with other gay guys, is what messes me up. Despite the many progressions that gays have made over the years, fact of the matter is, it’s still hard for many. There’s still not enough acceptance from straight people, and many gay guys are still not treating one other with VALUE. When it does, it doesn’t come easily. And I’ve known guys who’s only reason for popularity is because they had very good drug connections.

My thoughts: why stop now, when there’s been things that hit far closer to home than this. People were still coming into the biz, despite the hundreds of thousands of cases of STD, Hepatitis (and there’s been increases in that, according to various cities STD clinics, before COVID 19), and HIV. Same as I’ve been saying already on the forum, but I don’t have too much time to elaborate on at the moment. I didn’t stop seeing clients, nor was there any 2nd guessing if I would. The question I’m wondering: when are the rest of the clients out there going to start hiring again lol. Couple weeks ago, one of my regular clients came by. I was outside most of the day, which in the Midwest around this time of year, can trigger allergies, which triggers my asthma. We had to end the session early because I was short on breath (and not from the action lol). It was exasperated by the fact that I forgotten my asthma medication at home. Later on he was telling me that he hope it wasn’t COVID 19. I told him I’m pretty sure it isn’t, I’ve been dealing with this on and off for years. Sure enough, once I got my inhaler back...I was immediately able to breathe normally. We met again a week later, but then after the session I was gasping out of his place because he had incense burning, and that is a definite asthma trigger. Point is, there’s always stuff out there. Why lie to myself by stopping something temporarily, and then going back once things are “safe”. Obviously you don’t want to take unnecessary risks if you don’t have to, but I’m not going to give myself a false sense of safety. Think of it this way: If I were to ask this same question to a die-hard church lady, or to a random, Uber conservative doctor, what would their answer be? Would they say, “it’ll be safer to wait until COVID 19 is over before going back to having multiple sex partners?” ?

Pardon me, if I may interject. I hear what you’re saying. You’re giving a meaning to a word that applies to straight men. Yes, your average everyday, homophobe straight man, is going to talk to another men about chasing pussy, and putting his massive dick inside another woman. That’s what they do. Why they think talking about their dick with another straight man is supposed to make them sound straight, is beyond me. But considering MORE THAN 50% of my clients are either formerly or currently married, I think that should give you a clue. No gay man who has sex with another gay man, says they’re going to find pussy tonight. They may say, “fuck my pussy” during a moment of intense sex, but that’s not the same as “chasing pussy”. But you originally said 50% of escorts are straight. You then said chasing pussy. Therefore, you insinuated that many male escorts (who are messed up, and half straight) are chasing pussy. As in, a vagina. That’s what you just said. PERIOD.

You made a good point, but it was misinterpreted by equating the idea that an escort is easily compelled to use meth while being an escort. Guess what? Meth messes up A LOT of people. Again, it goes down to choice and free will. I was once a naive boy, and been around clients doing all kinds of drugs too. Me doing meth was not part of the payment, therefore I never had any use to do it. I even had a client who paid me extra to find cocaine for him. Which I did, because there was a guy I fucked with for a brief moment who had the connections, but I didn’t touch a single gram of it. I just watched him get geeked. Nowadays, I wouldn’t be bothered to do that, because it’s not my thing. I’m an escort, not a drug dealer. Anyone who gets hooked on meth, is doing so for reasons that aren’t necessarily derivative of being an escort. If that was the case, it wouldn’t be so widespread in the gay bars and “parTys” over the years.

I’m among the other 50% I suppose. The non-gay for pay type. I also think you may be focusing on the idea that escorts don’t chase guys who they desire. Just because someone is a professional, doesn’t mean that they don’t have a sex life outside of the biz. Contrary to popular belief, very few are actually “stuck” doing anything in this biz. I’ve said this before regarding working during COVID. Point in case: More stimulus payments went out this week. So I certainly didn’t “need” to see someone, but the next day, I went ahead and did so anyway because I was horny and felt like it.

? Now you’ve just added a new layer to this topic, which is something for consideration.

? Now you’ve just added a new layer to this topic, which is something for consideration.

I do that between 2 am thru 9 am on iPhone. Do not disturb. The 4 am texts don't bother me because either I'm up late looking, or so far gone sleep...I'll don't notice or hear the phone go off anyway. I'm also not privy to early morning texts either, which seem common as well. I used to answer phone calls while I was still in bed, and couldn't remember what I said after, or what I agreed to lol. Hence another reason why I don't take on the spot calls any more

I can say a lot of the nonsense has gone down though lately. It's not as regular as it has been. The other day was a bit of an oddball because inquiries are down. But the blessing in disguise, most inquiries now are serious.

That's a very good point. And earlier this year, I was figuring out which initial mode of communication worked best for me. At one point I was doing email 1st only, then calls 1st only, no emails, and now text with the option of email open. Personally, I just don't find phone calls to be effective for me. I tell people to text me first, get verified, and then we can chat once agreed on details, timing, host/travel, rate, etc I actually learned that from a photographer in Chicago who told me he answers no phone calls until deposit is made. Everything was done by text. I also had 1 too many phone calls that start with weird requests, keeping me on the phone, and just completely flubbing me. I got so tired of that. I finally drew the line 2 months ago in Florida, after some hack spent 20 minutes on the phone with me telling me he'd pay me $800 per session, upfront. After a few more weirdo flakes, I have phone calls on lockdown. I do not answer them at all unless client is booked and scheduled. Even though it does consume a bit more time, I try to ask pertinent questions which more quickly determines if we can make it work. However my thing with the turning phone off isn't so much about the length of time communicating with someone, but more of answering messages when you're in the middle of something. I try to respond even when I'm not immediately available, but some of the replies are like nails on a chalkboard: "Oh I don't do deposits, I've been burned before. Not interested." "Thanks for reply, but found someone else" "You're worth every penny, but too much for me." "Oh that's going to be too late for me today, maybe another time." Even though they may be honest replies, they're dismissive. Sometimes I may even be willing and able to make concessions and see them. But if they persist in not making it work, that means I've stopped what I'm doing, got distracted, only to be turned down. And then that's when I start feeling compelled to just turn my phone off, or only deal with clients on a by appointment, advance notice basis only. Drawback with that: clients may be waiting hours or a day for a response back. In which case they may assume I'm not interested. Then that's missed opportunity. But that is also why I stress contacting in advance at the start of my ads.

Another thing I wish to add to this: lately I’ve been hearing from some first time clients, that they’ve gotten burned in the past by sending escorts deposits. This in particular bothers me, because for 1, it’s not as if I burned them. And then 2, it seems to infer that we as escorts don’t get burned...oftentimes far more than once or twice. I always ask them, did the provider who burned you have several good reviews like I do? Because if not, that’s a short sight on their end. I have nothing to do with that, anymore than I have to do with an escort who actually meets a client, takes the money, and then “left something in the car”. A prospective client shouldn’t look at providers, as a telemarketer. They contact us, on platforms that I spend $150 a month on. It also costs to set up accommodations and travel out to see a client. I make it clear in my ads that I only host locally with deposit (because I too have been burned, making concessions to leave my house and get a hotel, only for people to not show up). The fact that some people try to ignore booking procedures, and then indirectly suspect someone is a scammer, is painting anyone who asks for advances in a bad light. But in reality, it may simply just be someone who wants to be in control of their life, and not just go dashing out the door for any Tom, dick and Harry who sends a text message asking to meet. People have it backwards to think that we are to trust them, more than they should trust us. I also wanted to re-address another poster saying what would someone do if they were a personal trainer. Well it’s actually quite common that personal trainers get their money for several sessions, in advance in 1 lump sum. You may pay $XXX for 6 sessions, but that’s not at each session. That’s in advance of each session.

By turning phone off, I refer mainly to those who may have a separate ad/work phone or number. I ask because some days, I don’t really be “available now” to take clients, but leave my phone on and communicate when an inquiry does come thru. Perhaps I can schedule something for the next day or later in week. If I have enough notice to take it, and the client properly confirms (usually with a deposit), I can go ahead and take the visit that day. Problem is, it more often than not ends up creating unnecessary distraction and time waste. Just today, I had 3 clients text me almost around the same time, and an email asking if I’m available today. Non of them end up panning out. I was going to be on my way to run track, and instead got side tracked answering messages. Then it rained, and I missed the opportunity. For a short while, I was randomly turning my phone off whenever I found myself invested in something I knew I couldn’t pull myself from (a date, house project, gym) But there’s been several times where I’ve been entrenched in a project, take time out to answer texts...only to completely lose my motivation. At one point I was almost considering posting that I’d only answer messages between a certain time of day. That way I’m not getting randomly pulled into answering messages round the clock, when I may not be in the position to hold a conversation. That’s also why I no longer accept phone calls, unless it’s a confirmed appointment.

I’d be curious to know what “type” of guys you may be going for? Are you going for big muscle, or guy next door, “straight acting”, or bottom exuding? Also, where are you finding this out at? Are you waiting until you meet them to tell them you’re a top? Or are you discussing prior? I say because sometimes clients may be tops, and not say so until meeting in person. I think most escorts, unless stated otherwise, will assume a client is wanting to bottom. Dick sells more, in overall volume, than ass. But it doesn’t necessarily mean ass is worth less than dick (in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a higher price involved). Just means that there’s generally more guys, particularly older, who want to have a top escort. The reasons could range from ED, to not experiencing the same at home (e.g. married guys), or just general porn fantasy (big black cock, tight white ass, etc)

Thanks for adding to the message I was making, you definitely seem to have an understanding of the current plight from an escorts perspective. However, despite the recommendation by some on the forum saying to be “frugal” and “thrifty” and budget minded, I think the government stimulus checks are designed to do just the opposite lol. Part of the reason why these stem ? checks are going out, is because the government (and other businesses) want us to spend money on stuff we don’t truly need lol. It helps fuel the American economy and dream, to spend money. It generates tax revenue, and opens new opportunities. Me personally: I still cash out coins at coin star, but at the same time...I like to buy nice things. Like when I’m in Palm Springs or Dallas, I like to buy $30 leather wrist bands, and $20 tank tops. A few Andrews at a gay owned underwear store is a good investment. But I tend to spend based on the way business is going. If I’m getting clients and expecting more, I’m apt to spend some here and there...because in this business; there’s a bit of unspoken pressure to dress nice, have nice things, and drive nice cars. It’s kind of why I drive a luxury brand car, even though I don’t particularly like how much it costs to service (or the attention it gets as I seem like an easy target to salesmen lol). But it’s like fuck. Many times I’m going to 4 and 5 star hotels, and prestigious neighborhoods to see clients. I desire to be seen in a luxury vehicle. Nothing wrong with Toyota and Nissan, or Ford and Chevy. But, considering I can’t afford the “brand new” models of those cars, I opted to go for an older luxury car. A 2001 Rolls Royce will exude a different character than a 2020 RAV4, so to speak lol. I recently had an Uber pick me up in a Mercedes that a client ordered (car dealers are being coy with their loaner cars right now, another COVID excuse). I was surprised at how plastic and un-original the interior felt. I know Uber has car-age limits, but I just feel the late 90s and early 2000s luxury cars really went out their way to feel like a 747 ✈️

It seems this particular poster moved on since, but...regardless of whether people disagreed with him, it may become an increasing new norm post C-19. And that’s assuming providers will be offering it. That said, if I can be transparent: at times the guys who are adamant, mandatory about kissing, tend to overdo it. Like someone previously mentioned, I don’t want to feel like someone is diving for lobsters in my mouth. Kissing is a wonderful, erotic thing...it’s like kindling to a fire. It’s all part of the “package”. And I especially like it when a guy is real shy seeming about kissing. Maybe they don’t always, but they get into it. But I also have a thing about extended “making out” (not just kissing) in nightclubs. Some guys do it very publicly when they first meet a guy, so I feel in some ways making out can be like a handshake to some. It’s cute, but I don’t like being seen in that capacity. I’ve done it, and it tends to make me uncomfortable being seen out in public lipped locked with someone I barely know, in front of other people (some people get jealous, or feel inappropriate). That said, a quick kiss on the lips as a greeting among fellow gays is fairly common and welcome (then again we don’t know how things may become after all of “this” ? stuff).

Bravo ? very good point. I'll also add, I don't think other escorts should assume other escorts are open to hookups. I've had some local guys reach out to me, with explicit offers. I'm flattered, and likely would fuck them...But, a little acknowledgement of me as an escort, goes a long way. Something like, "I would like to connect when you have some time available outside of clients" versus "come fuck my hole" makes a difference. But I understand, some providers out here mirror the same type of guys in the "scene" and across the net. Like I said earlier, dating and a relationship isn't on their agenda.