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To continue the metaphor… Many of these providers need to consult the Kelly Blue Book to ascertain a true market value. Just because it’s your car doesn’t mean it’s actually worth what you want it to be worth. To speak plainly… Many of these providers have delusional ideas about what their time is worth. Does that mean there aren’t guys out there just as delusional who will pay? No. By no means. But it’s still delusional. And for what it’s worth, @Jamie21, you seem reasonable. I’m not saying you are unreasonable, but there are far too many escorts who act like they’re doing clients a favor by taking our money. Not sharing time. Not having sex. Not doing any of that. Taking our money. They act entitled to it because they are who they are and nothing more. That’s what rubs me wrong. You’re an escort. There are doctors. There are teachers. There are garbagemen. We all have something that makes us important. But you aren’t entitled to my money or my deference because you’re hot and oodles of guys want to fuck you. You aren’t entitled to anything from me anymore than I’m entitled to anything from you. The way that the conversation goes here, it seems, often is that clients are the ones with all these unreasonable expectations as if providers are wholly innocent of any kind of entitlement. It’s just not the case. The marketplace really sucks for everyone, but instead of agreeing on that, it’s fingerpointing and ‘splaining all over the place. I get tired of guys saying “no hangups” but then I read here all the things I suspect providers actually think but would never say to me. Like, don’t tell me your biggest priority is making me happy. Because what I read here is making the most amount of money and making sure the provider’s time isn’t wasted. Something is misaligned here, and I’m going to bet what I see here is more reflective of actual feelings than what some RM ad says trying to convince a horny guy to hand over the cash… Hate me for that feeling if you want, but I don’t think providers first and foremost care about my happiness. They care about their wallets. At least clients can be assumed to want two things: 1) to get fucked for 2) the cheapest cost possible.

No doubt. But don’t be surprised if you’re selling a Ford and you’re expecting BMW prices if people think you’re off your rocker It reminds me of my father. He’s always going to yard sales looking for a treasure for a song, but he wants top dollar when he has his own yard sale.

When car shopping…it’s the norm to check out various options. The car dealership analogy also sort of falls apart a bit too when a salesman keeps trying to make a sale even when you’re browsing. From what I’ve read here, if a potential client even so much as inadvertently makes use of the wrong word in a text exchange, it’s a sign to drop him because he’s “not serious.” Car salesmen will work their butt off to sell you a lemon…as if it’s a Ferrari.

If you’re selling a Ford Focus, don’t expect BMW G30 payouts.

Some people like to redefine the terms after they’ve started discussing. They don’t like how their comments were interpreted, or what they actually mean, but it wasn’t their fault. We and our feeble brains were the wrong ones. There are certain members of this forum who (dys)function according to that MO.

I’m really getting to the point I hate the haggling. If he quotes me a crazy amount to start, I state that’s too much, and he’s a either a) unwilling to come down to a reasonable amount or b) “unable” to come down to a reasonable amount, I’m unwilling and unable to pay and move on. Lost business opportunity for him. I’m getting to the point where even that much negotiation sours the experience for me…

When I book a guy for a 3-day BFE, I pay him generously. If he has another overnight or two in a month when he books with me, he’ll bring home more than most middle class US-Americans make each month. From the way that the escorts on here talk, they are so busy and booked that a simple text message reflects a waste of their crazy busy time. So from that, it seems to me, the providers have plenty of business. And should be doing just fine if they’re living within their means. I’ve had guys quote me $4000+ for a weekend. While those of us who hire probably skew higher than the average earner’s pay, it’s craziness to think that $4000 for a weekend of work is somehow insufficient compensation. Yes – providers deserve to be compensated fairly. But fairly. And sanely. Some providers have an unrealistic expectation of what is sane.

I don’t understand… Why is “born this way” such a terrible thing for sexual orientation? We can choose how you live with your orientation, but you can’t choose your orientation. It can be a combo (and is) a combo of nurture and nature, but orientation is something you’re “given.” The lifestyle you choose can and will be in light if that orientation. You can be gay and choose to live a heterosexual lifestyle… Sexual orientation and lifestyle are different.

@Lazarus- Some guys, I’m sure, are dumb and/or rude enough to say so…

And I’d say that applies for both straight and gay folks. Gay folks can use the term extremely pejoratively.

This is very reasonable. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. And on top of that, you seem consciously polite. Another thousand points!

We probably don’t want to know!

I’m glad it went well for you. Genuinely. I do however find it duplicitous to use someone else’s pictures – permission notwithstanding – as your own for an advertisement, however.

If you mean the pinga opinion piece, I don’t agree that “gay is not good.” For me, I despise the label “queer” for myself because it means everything and therefore nothing. I’d rather actually figure out what gay means, and like so many think they’ve (unsuccessfully) done with the word “queer,” “take back” the word “gay” from all the extra bullshit people have come to associate with it. “Queer” is just the most recent attempt of gay folks to find a label that evades the strictures of puritanical society, but that’s what “gay” was supposed to be before we – gay folks – allowed it be stereotyped in a way many dislike. Running away from the moniker isn’t the solution; it’s just running away. The same will happen with “queer,” even if you think it’s “better” than “gay.”

Sure. People can choose that. But I think that’s a mighty far leap to go from “sexuality labels can make sense of complexity” to “sexuality labels are by their nature oppressive.”

Okay! I see it’s back 👍🏻

I updated my iPhone to iOS 15.3.1 last night. Things are now different. I can’t find the reaction to posts button anymore. Did it go somewhere new with the iOS update?

@RJD– 😂

I’m not totally sure why you think that was trolling. I was being genuine in trying to discuss the “gay lifestyle.” 🤷🏼‍♂️ Sounds like you have a preconceived, biased notion of what I post!

Sooooo… Straight folks who live a life of sex, drugs, and rock and rule are living the gay lifestyle? To me, that is misaligned. That’s not the gay lifestyle. Too many straight people live it to be so.

Now this I find interestingly compelling. How useful is this label? Not terribly. But we also have to determine how narrowly we want to define “gay lifestyle.” Is it just a (potentially sexual) relationship with another man? Or is it it the partying, drinking, music, clothing, sex, entertainment, etc. that does seem to be marked of the lifestyle of many-a urban gay—between the ages of 18 and about about 45-50, I’d estimate. For me, the gay lifestyle isn’t what is portrayed as stereotypical by the media or social media…The glam isn’t what makes one gay, although it’s certainly attractive to a large swath of the gay population.

@latbear4blk– Those aren’t loaded, emotionless words! 😉 I think of sexual orientation as a condition, not to be too crude. Lifestyle is how you choose to live with the condition. If that’s oppressive, well…I don’t know then. It’s oppressive. 🤷🏼‍♂️

You don’t “choose” your sexual orientation, whether natured or nurtured. But you can choose to be happy in whatever sexuality you have. I don’t know of that’s the “lifestyle,” but it is a choice of regarding psychological healthiness.

One hopes you penetrate to completion!