Charlie

It is true that before AIDS, there were all sorts of other "gay diseases" that were discussed regularly in the gay community. In fact, I served on the board of a gay organization called Philadelphia Community Health Alternatives in the 1980s, that was founded before AIDS was recognized, because so many gay men developed health problems that their primary care doctors were unaccustomed to deal with, or that the men were uncomfortable revealing to their regular medical providers. We actually started the AIDS Information Hotline that the city government eventually took over.

I got mine!

At the time that AIDS appeared in the public consciousness, I was already in my 40s and had been in a partnered relationship for 20 years. We were not exclusive, but we were also long past the slutty promiscuity of youth. I had also never been into being an anal bottom, which reduced one possible source of infection. My doctor was also a gay personal friend, so I was alerted early to what was going around in the medical area. I belonged to various gay organizations, which were a source of reliable information, and for a few years in the late 1980's I actually ran the AIDS Information Hotline for a major city. In spite of all that, I think that I was also probably just lucky. I had many friends who got AIDS at that time and most of them died from it, though a few hung on long enough to get effective treatment. One of them hung on until 1996 and died officially of something else, but his sister (a medical technologist) still says, "He died of AIDS."

This post hit home for me, because I live alone in a good-sized house, (living room, dining room, kitchen, den, office space, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a two car garage). I moved into it with my now-deceased spouse nine years ago. Why do I need so much space? Well, most family and old friends live far away, and if they come to visit, I enjoy providing a place for them to stay for free. But the real reason is because over a long life I have collected an enormous amount of stuff, and it is hard for me to throw away things. I have 99 shelves of books, 3 file cabinets, two office desks, 4 clothes closets, lots of storage facilities in the garage (I can squeeze only one car into it), not to mention all sorts of cabinets for kitchen storage. My spouse was an architect by profession and an artist as a sideline, and the walls are covered with his paintings. Do I need all this stuff? Of course not, but how do I decide what to get rid of? How do I know when I am going to need some of it? How do I get rid of things that have sentimental value only to me? My house cleaner often suggests that I sell things I don't actually need--like all those books. I live in a retirement community, and a neighbor is in charge of the library in our community lodge, so I suggested to him that he go through my book collection and take whatever he thought the library could use. He and his partner came over one afternoon, and left with five large boxes of books; it hardly made a noticeable dent in the collection on my shelves. Lately I have been spending an hour per day going through all the papers left by my spouse and throwing away anything that I don't think is necessary to keep (he had a harder time throwing things away than I did). But most of the things in my house that I would consider getting rid of are things that no one would buy or even have a use for. The only thing that is likely to get me to just throw things away would be if I am forced to move to a one bedroom or studio apartment like the one I lived in when I was a graduate student.

All this talk about John Tyler reminded me that my paternal grandfather, whom I knew well, had been a protege of Teddy Roosevelt, and in the 19th century Roosevelt got him nominated for a seat in the NY state legislature at the ripe old age of 29. I still have some of his campaign materials (he lost the election).

My parents were old in the sense that they were almost middle-aged when I was born, and I was their first (and only) child. I remember them taking me to an adoption agency when I was a child, because they thought I should have a sibling, but they felt they were too old to produce one themselves. Apparently they didn't convince the agency, because I remained an only child.

I shop at a local Von's supermarket, which also has a gas station attached to it, and you can use the points you get for shopping for food for a reduction in your gas price. On Sunday I saved 40 cents per gallon on the price of $4.69/gal. for regular gas.

"Do you need help getting your...umm....engine started?"

If it is one particular language it is probably related to some previous personal experience. If it is any language at all, that's a fetish.

I wonder which one is the top?

I should have mentioned that on one of my trips to Iceland, I went with a friend who wanted to go pony trekking, and that was a lot of fun, too.

One of my favorite memories was of having sex with an Icelandic Airlines employee (in uniform) many years ago in the men's room of the Loftleider Hotel. Oh, and I did see some of the local sights, too.

Transgender?

In the eyes of the straight world, my partner was definitely the senior partner in our relationship (age, income, family background), but from the perspective of gay acquaintances, I was definitely the senior partner in the gay world in which we became a couple (I had been an officer in a gay rights organization when he was still in the closet--he wasn't even out to his gay brother until after we became a couple). Age can be a state of mind as well as a number.

When I met my future spouse, I was 25 and he was 33, which seemed like a big age gap to me then. I was the same age of one of his younger brothers (he was the oldest of four brothers, and he had one younger brother who was older than I was). However, I was actually more sexually experienced than he was, because I had come out at a much earlier age than he had. By the time we were both middle-aged, however, I looked older than he did (like my own father, I lost my hair in my late 30s, while my partner still had a full head of hair on his deathbed), and the age gap didn't seem noticeable at all, until he retired and I was still working. But even after I had retired also, the age gap soon became noticeable, because he lapsed into Alzheimer's and it was almost like I was his child taking care of him. In other words, age gaps are malleable factors that work in many different ways.

What a handsome greyhound.

The "Map me" function is useful when deciding on a masseur, because one wants to know where in a large urban area one has to go for the service. That's why I wonder why so many of these ads show the provider located in City Hall courtyard.

When I hired providers. I never told them any more information about myself than I would tell a stranger I picked up in a bar: my first name, the area where I lived, and what kind of work I did (if he asked). Why would he need to know my last name, my exact address, or the name of my employer? If the hire was satisfying, and I thought I might want to hire him again, I might tell him my last name, since he might have other customers with the same first name, and he would know who it was when I contacted him again.

There are some cultures in which it is okay for close family members of males (e.g., fathers and sons) to kiss one another, and of course it is normal for men in certain situations to share sleeping accommodations (e.g., military comrades in battle), but in most cases behavior that is usually indicative of sexual intimacy between two males is frowned upon, whereas the same two behaviors between two women is usually considered just a sign of close friendship.

My spouse was the oldest of four brothers: the two older boys were gay, and the two younger boys were straight, so they obviously didn't conform to that pattern.

Perhaps. The only time I was ever in Budapest, I arrived by hydrofoil down the river from Vienna, and that view does look vaguely familiar (except for that young man).

Umm, isn't that a "cityscape"?

"In bed with.." and "Having sex with..." are not necessarily the same thing. In most societies it is considered normal for women to openly show affection for one another, by things like kissing, while that is considered much more questionable between two men.

We are revealing our age with this repartee.

I wonder if he has a brother named Almond Joy?