Charlie

This topic made me think: if I were to try to set up a "Golden Boys" household, how would I do it? Well, my obvious gay roommates would be Bar and Lo. We three have been friends for more than half a century, and have stayed in regular contact all that time. Although we now live thousands of miles apart from one another (west coast, east coast, and Europe), in the 1970s we all lived in the same European city. Bar and I both lost our longtime spouses to similar deaths last year, while Lo has never had a lasting partnership. We are all healthy enough--physically, mentally and financially--to live alone at this time. We know one another's backgrounds and have many similar interests and tastes. What could be more fun than living together!? Well, the first problem would be finding a place to live. Lo has lived in the same European city for his entire adult life, and probably would not be willing to move across the ocean, even though he has a brother with family who has lived for years in California, so he is well-acquainted with the west coast. Although he was born in Europe and grew up in South America, it would probably be difficult to persuade him to uproot himself to yet another continent in order to live with us. Although Bar and I have both lived in Europe, it was many years ago, and we no longer have any close connections there other than Lo, so we would both consider it a big sacrifice to move to Europe just because Lo was more comfortable there. Bar has also never even visited the west coast, so it is terra incognita for him. I am probably the one who would have to move to somewhere that the other two could agree on. The Golden Girls did a classic American seniors thing and assembled in Florida, but that does not appeal to me (my mother did that after my father died, and I visited her and her sisters, all of whom lived in the same retirement community, often enough to not want to do that myself). It is probable that at least one of us would be somewhat disgruntled about the choice of a place to live to begin with. Then there is the inevitable problem that all of us are beginning to experience the physical problems of advancing age. Ten years ago we were all healthy and athletic seniors in our 70s, enjoying our recreational activities (tennis, swimming, biking). Now we are all starting to have problems with backs, legs, knees, ankles, eyesight, etc. I am a few years younger than the other two: am I going to end up being a caregiver for one or both? If we are all managing our own finances, how do I know that they are doing a good job of it? None of us has children, and no matter where we end up, there won't be any family members of a younger generation nearby to help out with anything. Depending on where we end up, there may not even be any trusted old friends nearby. (The danger of three old friends living together is that they may not take the trouble of developing new friends.) Although the new living arrangement may be exciting and fun at first, how long will that last.? It is worth remembering that the Golden Girls were actually not all that old--after all, Dorothy's mother Sophia lived with them! My own mother lived with my spouse and me until she was 94, and then she was smart enough to say, "I am ready to live somewhere that I can socialize with people closer to my own age," and she chose to move into a three-tier retirement community, where she did make new friends her own age, and lived comfortably till she died in the nursing care section at 102. I think the idea of living communally with some gay friends is not bad during early retirement, but one needs to understand when it is time for the series to end.

I recently received a questionnaire from UCLA for a "California Health Survey," and one of the questions was whether the respondent considered himself straight, gay or bisexual.

"Golden Boys" sounds like a great premise for a sitcom, but in reality, when Rose develops advanced Alzheimer's, Blanche has breast cancer, and Dorothy can no longer drive, the fun is over. Eventually the individuals will age out of being responsible for themselves, much less for one another, and someone else will have to move in to take care of them, or they will have to move on to some other housing arrangement. When Stonewall Gardens first opened, we went to visit, but my spouse and I could still take care of ourselves, so we decided it wasn't for us. Now that I am alone, I am starting to reconsider. I have been told by someone whose job is finding housing for seniors that it really is a good place for older gay men, with all the services--dining, transportation, socializing, etc.--that gay men look for. However, it still lacks the final stage service that a traditional "three tier" retirement complex offers: independent living, assisted living, and nursing care. We may not like to think about the third tier, but many of us will need that at the end of our lives, and we probably won't be able to arrange for it on our own. A "Golden Boys" housing arrangement with gay male friends might be an enjoyable situation for a few years, but unless you all remain healthy to the end of your lives (and all die at about the same time), it is bound to be a temporary arrangement.

As he ages, he will learn to regret what he has done to his face.

If I knew that, I would be on my way to interview them.

Having just finished making a new will, I would like to emphasize one of the above recommendations that at first surprised me, because I had never seen it when preparing previous wills: my lawyer asked if there were specific persons who should be mentioned in the will as those who were NOT to be included as beneficiaries. Luckily, I had no family members who I thought might have any standing to contest the will, but I'm sure that other gay men might have such relations, especially if everything were left to someone who was not legally related to the deceased.

I was the shy only child of older than normal parents, who never talked about sex (at least, not in front of me), so I never heard anything about masturbation--not even the term--when I was growing up. I noticed around puberty that my cock would get hard when I heard about certain things or saw certain pictures of men, and I found that when I held it, it felt even better, and then one day while I was holding it and slightly stroking it, I suddenly ejaculated. From then on I held it and stroked it to climax often, but never when there was anyone else around, because I knew that anything involving my genitals was something that for some reason wasn't polite to even talk about, even with male friends my age. It wasn't until I had my first sexual experience with a guy when I was 17--he was in his early 20s and had picked me up in a public men's room--that I discussed masturbation with anyone, and realized that it was OK to jerk off, but only if there was no one to jerk me off or blow me; in a half century of sex with other males, I don't remember ever jerking off in front of someone else. Since I wanted to cum much more often than when I was engaging in sex with someone else, my hand became my secret best friend for life.

I don't think that there are many "young" cardinals, and I don't think that experience as a cardinal has much to do (theoretically at least) with qualification to choose a pope. Certainly when the rule was made, there were probably very few cardinals over the age of 80, and those there were may very well have been considered too mentally and physically challenged to participate. I have recent experience being summoned for jury duty, and the form allows me to choose to be excused if I am over 70, without having to get verification from a doctor that I am unable to participate.

In case you don't recognize him, that's Mickey Mantle on the right.

I knew the tariffs would be coming right after inauguration day, so in early January I bought a new car, even though I really didn't need one yet. It will probably last longer than my driver's license.

OMG! Look at all those Packards.

Isn't that Al Parker on the bottom?

I haven't been to a Broadway show since the last century, and at those prices, I doubt that I will ever make it to another one.

They look like they could be brothers.

A tool-belt, of course.

You are correct--it is every Thursday night.

When I retired at 61, my partner (already retired then for 6 years)and I felt that the first thing we had to decide was where we wanted to live. My partner had spent his first years of retirement constantly traveling. Living where you already are is fine if you can foresee a happy future there, but we wanted to experience a complete change of scene (and climate) in a new home, so when I retired we immediately moved across the country to Palm Springs while we were still young and healthy enough to easily make new friends and establish a new network of support services --doctors, travel agents, social organizations, banks, tax accountants, auto services, gyms, etc. Since I was going to continue working online part-time to one of my employers, I had to make sure I had the right set-up to do that Once settled in, we then had to figure out how we wanted to spend our new leisure time. My partner tried volunteering at a local museum, but it turned out not to be a good fit, so he found the Stroke Recovery Center only a block from our home, and settled in as a volunteer working with people who had suffered strokes and were participating in reading groups, something unlike anything he had ever thought of doing before, and he did that a couple of days per week for eleven years. I volunteered at the local "Adult School," working with people who had never graduated from high school and were studying to finally get their diplomas. That led me unexpectedly to a new hobby: the teacher mentioned one day that the tennis club down the street was offering reduced rate new memberships because it was the end of the tourist season, and he suggested that I join him there. I had never played tennis, but I went with him, found an instructor there, and ended up as a fanatic, playing several days a week. So the best thing about retirement was finding a new activity that was totally unforeseen. The secret to retiring happily is careful planning how you want to live as a retiree, but also remaining open to the possibility of becoming involved in activities that you had never contemplated.

For visitors who wonder what the "Cillage Fest is, that is a typo. It is the "Village Fest," and it takes place every Wednesday evening downtown.

I was never under it. I made the comment the same day you posted your initial post containing his Rentmasseur ad, because when I opened the ad, I searched through it to find any information about him being in Palm Springs, but I saw nothing. Now the ad says that his home is in Palm Springs, and even the "map me" function shows that, but nothing like that was in the original version of the ad that you posted on March 19. (BTW, the "Map me" doesn't show his actual location, only the default location in Palm Springs shown for those advertisers who don't specify where they are in Palm Springs. I always open the "Map me" to see whether the advertiser is in my neighborhood.)

The photos look like someone younger than 41; I wonder how dated they are. He is also way out in King of Prussia, not in Philadelphia proper.

The ad has changed. The first time I looked at it, as shown in your first post in this thread, it said "Gay Masseur Fittwink in Phoenix, AZ." Only now does he claim that his home is Palm Springs.

That is exactly the same car that my parents gave me when I graduated from college, and just like my current dog; unfortunately, it doesn't look like me.

I am presently reading Albion's Seed, by David Hackett Fischer, a study of how the cultures of four different parts of the United States were permanently affected by the origins of the English colonists who settled there during the colonial period in American history. For example, the settlers who came to New England came mostly from East Anglia, while the settlers who came to Virginia came mostly from western and southern England, and each group left very different influences on the religious and political cultures of the two areas--even on their linguistic features--which persist to the present. It is a fascinating subject to me, but it is so meticulously documented that the text runs to almost a thousand pages, with innumerable footnotes, bibliographies, etc., often in tiny print, so the bulky paperback version is hard to handle..

Hoover didn't cause the Great Depression, but the tariffs did nothing to help deal with it in the way he thought they would.

My body looks like that of a man my age, but there is nothing wrong with that, so I don't try to hide it. That doesn't mean that I think it is likely to be considered attractive, except by some pervert who lusts after old men. (Are there any out there? If you know one, let me know.)