samhexum

I can't tell... is that a mink or a chinchilla on his head?

@RadioRob answers all your phone questions...

Dear Abby: I still obsess over my first love, even though we broke up 21 years ago. We grew up in a poor mill town, where I was a frustrated, mediocre athlete. She was a cheerleader. We shared fundamentalist religious beliefs that, along with poor access to contraception, led to our decision to “save ourselves for marriage” during our five-plus years of regular dating. Unlike most of our peers, we were able to attend college. Around the time of my graduation, when many of my friends were getting married, she met a minor league baseball player and, in a very short while, traveled to another state with him and parted with her virginity. BON VOYAGE! Soon after that, she hooked up with a major college football player NOTICE A PATTERN?… MEDIOCRE HS ATHLETE… MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL… MAJOR COLLEGE FOOTBALL. SHE WAS MOVING UP IN THE WORLD; GOOD FOR HER! for a summer fling, and then with a much older divorced lawyer. I put up a good front as I continued a rigorous graduate program, but I was physically sick and extremely depressed and disillusioned to the point of having suicidal thoughts. BON VOYAGE! By chance, I ran into her 15 years later WHILE STALKING HER. We were both married, and she was heavily involved in Christian ministry. I told her in a non-judgmental way that her affairs had been very hurtful. We had a nice lunch and parted on good terms, but she was unapologetic and dismissed all of that as “just sex.” Abby, after all this time, I’m still confused. I don’t know what I’m seeking. Maybe I want revenge. Am I crazy to hold on for so long, or do others carry their pain for a lifetime? — Not Shaking Her in the South Dear Not Shaking Her: Yes, some people do carry their pain for a lifetime, unless they deal with it. You appear to have the entire roster of your ex-girlfriend’s romantic involvements. (She sure must talk a lot!) I have a strong hunch that what you wanted when you took her to lunch was a sincere apology for hurting you all those years ago. That none was offered illustrates the depth of her insensitivity. ARE YOU STILL MARRIED? IF SO, I PITY YOUR WIFE (JUST IN GENERAL) AND WONDER HOW SHE’D APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT ANOTHER WOMAN IS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU. My friend, you don’t need revenge — you need to stop reliving the past. It is a waste of your energy. If you can’t manage to do this on your own, counseling may help. IF NOT, BON VOYAGE! Dear Abby: My wife works from 2 p.m. to 10 p.m. The other night she left me a voicemail saying, “I’m super tired so I’m not coming home tonight. I’m going to stay in a motel.” We live 20 minutes from her job. I am, to say the least, very upset. She swears she didn’t go with anyone — she just went there and slept. I’m not sure I believe her. I’m also not sure what to do next. Help, please. — Perplexed Husband in Michigan Dear Husband: One would think that your wife is used to the schedule she works. What she did is highly unusual, not to mention costly. Can she produce the receipt from the motel? If she can, let it slide — this time. If it happens again, consider hiring a private detective to help you gain insight into her sudden change of behavior. NOT TO PILE ON, BUT DOES YOUR WIFE WORK ADJACENT TO A MOTEL? BECAUSE IF NOT, IT WOULD MOST LIKELY TAKE 20 MINUTES TO DRIVE TO ONE, PARK, CHECK IN, AND GET INTO HER ROOM. JUST SAYING…

I inherited one of those 22 years ago when a roommate moved out & left it. I always thought it was a jade plant. It is indestructible. Stems fall off & lay there until I notice but don't die. I overwater (often) or underwater (on occasion) and it doesn't care. I have stuck fallen stems into water in chinese-food soup containers for over a year and they thrived (I have one like that now). The majority of my plants are offshoots of offshoots of the original plant. The original slowly withered and died until there was only one little stem left... which I replanted and is now large and strong and sharing a mug with one of its descendants, with has twisted around in a lovely way as it has grown along its (great?) grandparent.

BULLSHIT!!! THAT'S JUST YOUR EXCUSE FOR HAVING A TABLE PERPETUALLY RESERVED AT BUFFALO WILD WINGS.

yeah, but her hair still looks great

Y'all will be relieved to know she's canceling the tour to spend time with family and friends.

you mean what he ate for lunch that gave him such a sour expression?

sometimes the headlines just write themselves... Cyndi Lauper’s troubled son Declyn “Dex” Lauper Thornton is being sued by an ex-girlfriend for sexual assault that left her feeling “powerless and in fear” for her safety, a Manhattan Federal Court lawsuit filed on Tuesday alleges. The harrowing assault occurred on Nov. 9, 2020, in Lauper Thornton’s Soho home. According to the lawsuit, the now 28-year-old woman alleges that Lauper Thornton pressured her into performing sexual acts and became violent when she refused. Dex Thornton is no stranger to the law. The lawsuit comes amidst other legal issues facing the defendant, including a pending eviction case and prior arrests on theft and gun possession charges. Lauper Thornton was arrested for driving a stolen car in 2022. In his latest legal saga, Lauper Thornton’s accuser said on the night of the alleged assault, he Cash App’ed her approximately $60 to travel by private car to his home. Once there, the pair argued over a sexual act he wanted the woman to do, according to the lawsuit. When the plaintiff wanted to leave, Lauper Thornton took her cellphone in an attempt to get her to stay. He then held her down on his bed and forcefully tried to get her to perform a sexual act. Though she tried squirming her way out of his grip and repeatedly told him to let her get up “because he was too strong,” she was unable to escape, the lawsuit alleges. As the altercation ensued, they both heard a pop sound from the woman’s neck and upper spine area, at which point Lauper Thornton let her go, according to the lawsuit. “Desperate” to leave the apartment, the plaintiff took Lauper Thornton’s cell phone in an attempt to get her’s back. Eventually, they both returned each other’s phones and the defendant demanded she leave his home. After she left, the lawsuit alleges, she returned to get her phone charger back, which she realized she forgot take with her. She knocked on his apartment door, and he returned the charger. The woman alleges after she left, Lauper Thornton called saying he was “sorry for what he had just done to her,” court documents say. Mark Shirian, the plaintiff’s attorney, shared his comments on the case. “This lawsuit seeks to hold Mr. Lauper accountable for the grievous harm inflicted upon our client. Our client deserves to have her voice heard and to seek the justice she rightfully deserves.” The woman is seeking unspecified damages for the “emotional and psychological trauma” inflicted upon her as a result of the alleged assault. the kid's been in the news more than his mother the past year or so.

On Tuesday, after more than three decades in business, the final credits rolled at the South Bronx’s Concourse Plaza Multiplex Cinemas, which represented one of only two operational movie theaters in the borough. Now, The Bronx — home to some 1.44 million people — has just one cinema within its borders. “It has been our pleasure to serve the Bronx community with great movie-going for many years,” the Concourse, which was one of 19 locations operated by the four-state theater chain Showcase Cinemas, posted on Facebook. “Due to a business decision, May 28, 2024 will be our last day of cinema operations. We thank you for your patronage and hope you have made wonderful movie memories at our cinema.” With this location now gone, the AMC Bay Plaza Cinema 13, located within Baychester’s Mall at Bay Plaza — about 10 miles away — is officially The Bronx’s last remaining movie theater. The shuttering is not shocking, considering how many theaters have closed nationally in recent years (5% shut down between 2019 and 2022 alone, according to the National Cinema Foundation), with Queens’ quarter-century-old College Point Multiplex Cinemas dropping its final curtain just a few weeks ago.

A bizarre answer by Harrison Bader during an interview poured more salt in the wound for Mets fans reeling from a disastrous day for the franchise. In what was supposed to be a fun interview with Bleacher Report on TikTok, the Mets center fielder was asked for his Mount Rushmore of New York athletes, to which he said, “Derek Jeter, Aaron Judge, and Anthony Volpe.” Bader played with the Yankees for a season and a half from 2022-23 and might still have his head in the clouds dreaming of The Bronx while playing in Queens. Bader, who grew up a Yankees fan in nearby Bronxville, said in a 2022 postseason interview that he idolized Jeter and the Core Four for most of his childhood. Volpe led off last night's game with a single, becoming the second Yankee rookie age 23 or younger to have a streak of 21 or more. The other one was some Italian guy who dated some actress.

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"just a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down..."

alert @jjkrkwood immediately!

and Paul Goldschmidt Homered thrice in two games during his recent mini revival and even Nolan Arenado has been picking it up. The high flying red birds have now reached .500, a perch (get it?!?) few would've imagined even three weeks ago. But, as that venerable American icon John Sterling so often stated, that's baseball Suzyn!

Nestor Cortes gave up a 2 run HR to Kevin Pillar (having the month of his life) in the first, meaning he had no margin for error if he was to extend the streak to set a new record. He left with one out & one on in the 6th, & Kahnle came on... he got the second out, with the runner moving into scoring position... and Pillar coming up. And that, dear friends, is how the Yankees broke a tie with the 1907 Phils, 1968 Pirates, & 2022 Mets with their 15th straight start of 5+ innings and 2 or less runs.

A Japanese man who shelled out over $14,000 on a realistic dog costume so he could become a border collie now says he hopes to fulfill his “dream” of turning into a different animal. Toco the Human Collie said the challenges of moving like a dog have led him to consider imitating a host of other animals, as well. “Dogs and humans have different bone structures and the way they bend their legs and arms, so it’s very difficult to make movements that look like this,” Toco said. “I might realistically be able to become another dog, a panda or a bear,” Toco told Japanese news outlet WanQol. “A fox or a cat would also be nice, but they are too small for humans to try.”

'Eternal youth' Vera Wang, 74, is ‘aging backwards’ in glam poolside swimsuit snap Fans went wild after the bridal designer posted a sunny pic in a white one-piece to celebrate Memorial Day on Monday.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of three years recently proposed. The issue is he’s the great-nephew of the man who jilted my great-aunt at the altar in the 1970s. My aunt dated his great-uncle for financial reasons, which she has admitted. She tried to ensure he would stay with her by “baby trapping” him and telling him he had to marry her. He agreed until the day arrived — and he didn’t show. This shouldn’t be important to the current situation because it was decades ago, and I barely know my great-aunt. She didn’t even know my fiance’s name until the most recent family reunion when I mentioned our engagement and my soon-to-be last name. She freaked out and demanded he leave her house! She told me not to marry him, and said his family was all the same. I don’t like my great-aunt much, but after this controversy, her children and her siblings are threatening to shun me if I marry him. The wedding is in five months, and I’m torn. Family is important to me, and while I’m not close to her, I made it a mission to be closer to her kids (my cousins) and relatives as I grew older. I know what happened to her hurt her a lot, but I feel her demand is outrageous. What should I do? Should I postpone the wedding? — PAST DRAMA IN THE PRESENT DEAR PAST DRAMA: Let me get this straight. Your aunt tried to trap a young man into marriage by claiming she was having his child. Did she have the baby, and was the father’s paternity ever established? If your fiance’s uncle got wind of the fact that he was being falsely accused and that your aunt not only didn’t love him but was after him for financial gain, who can blame him for running? I certainly don’t. The decision you now must make is whether you want to break an engagement to your fiance (whom I presume you know well and love after three years) or cave in to the emotional blackmail of your ethically challenged aunt. I know what I would do. This may be your chance to “break the curse.” KILL THE BITCH & ENJOY YOUR WEDDING DEAR ABBY: After a social occasion, I come home and obsess about what I did or didn’t say. Did I act appropriately? I worry and keep doing these “reviews” in my head. It’s painful. The social occasion can be lunch with a friend, a phone call or a party. I’ve done this for years, and it’s exhausting. Why do I do this? More to the point, how can I stop? — REPLAYING IN ARIZONA DEAR REPLAYING: While I am not allowed to diagnose an illness in any state of the Union, speaking as a “talented” amateur, it seems you have a nasty case of social anxiety. A licensed psychotherapist can help to lessen the obsessive thinking that is torturing you. Your doctor or health insurance company can refer you. YOU DO IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TOTAL BORE AND YOU’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO STOP BECAUSE THAT’LL NEVER CHANGE. Dear Abby: I am a 29-year-old man who has been with a fantastic woman, 25, for the last year. I believe she is The One. We have moved quickly and have already settled into an apartment together. Recently, she was asked to be a bridesmaid in a wedding between her ex’s cousin and a friend she met through her ex. Her ex will be a part of the wedding. She isn’t very close with this friend. It seems like the bride-to-be doesn’t have many other friends. It is clear to me that my girlfriend really wants to attend this wedding. I asked her to see if we could attend the wedding without her being a bridesmaid, but she’s under the impression that we wouldn’t be invited otherwise. I felt like I couldn’t say no, so I agreed to go if she agreed she wouldn’t attend any event where her ex would be present. But now she has agreed to be a bridesmaid, and I find myself getting upset every time the wedding is mentioned. I haven’t begun to feel resentful toward her, but I’m worried this may change as the wedding draws closer. I want to be supportive, but I also can’t ignore that I am clearly not OK with this arrangement. What should I do? — New Boyfriend in Connecticut Dear Boyfriend INSECURE BABY: You should not be placing stipulations on your girlfriend, who is part of the wedding. For her to back out on her promise to be in the bridal party would be bad form. Pressuring her to do that is childish on your part. You have an opportunity to be a hero and conquer your insecurity. Grab hold of it and send your girlfriend to the wedding … alone. And when you do, smile, give her a hug and tell her you hope she has a good time, and that you will be waiting with open arms when she gets back. DEFINITELY BRING THIS UP TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND, AND KEEP HARPING ON IT UNTIL SHE REALIZES WHAT A BIG MISTAKE SHE’D BE MAKING IF SHE DECIDES YOU’RE ‘THE ONE’.