samhexum

It's playing in England already, and will be coming here next year. I'm surprised that, with Tuna recently being in the news about her new kidney, nobody posted anything about the show. BTW, my favorite musical fish duo of all time was Pike & Tuna Turner.

A sheriff’s deputy with nearly two decades of service in Florida resigned after being arrested for allegedly fondling the genitals of a deputy sheriff trainee, authorities said. Scott Walker, 39, was arrested Friday on charges of sexual battery and false imprisonment after meeting the victim Wednesday in Lakeland to help him with his training, according to the Polk County Sheriff’s Office. Walker, who was working an off-duty detail at the time, was armed when he reached under the trainee’s shorts and underwear and fondled him, setting off a bizarre and frightening series of events, authorities said. “When the victim resisted, Walker pushed him against the wall, then locked the door and turned the lights off,” sheriff officials said in a news release. “The victim immediately started sending text messages to a friend pleading for help.” Walker later allowed the man to leave after becoming concerned that he had contacted someone using his cellphone. Investigators learned of the allegations Thursday, prompting an investigation. Walker, who had been employed by the department for 19 years, was later arrested after being interviewed by investigators. He resigned immediately, sheriff officials said. “We hold people to a higher standard than we do the members of the community,” Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said in a statement. “Scott is now in jail for his illegal conduct, as he should be.” Walker, according to an investigator’s affidavit obtained by The Ledger, told the trainee that he “owed” him oral sex after helping him learn how to write reports for the agency. The trainee initially ignored the comment, but Walker then began touching him, according to the report. “These crimes are enhanced by the fact that Walker is employed as a deputy sheriff and Walker’s position as a training coordinator made the victim believe that he had influence and authority over his career,” the investigator wrote. Walker initially denied the allegations, saying he had instead “tapped” the trainee’s penis on the outside of his clothing as a joke, although he later used the word “grabbed” to characterize his actions. The pair had also previously communicated on Snapchat. Walker, during one of those conversations, said he was “just ‘messing’ around” with the trainee. Walker, seemingly concerned about whether the chat was private, also told the trainee: “Dude, R u really by yourself.”

My bank account balance is as flaccid as my... well, you know...

None taken. I was kidding. I can feel; I just can't do much about it. I can masturbate about 3 times a week. It takes multiple attempts. The sap rises a little more each time. Some weeks are better than others. It's taken me as long as almost an hour to cum, but when it's that bad, I usually give up in frustration after 30 min or so. (and now you know why I blow off steam by posting here so often ) It's gotten (much) worse as I've gotten older. Being a pothead doesn't help, of course, but it makes me more mellow about my inadequacy.

Don't you get frequent flier discounts?

Braggart

Can't stay hard long enough.

One of the supermarkets I shop at sent me coupons. $5 off $25 in weeks 1 & 3, $2 off meat in week 2, 2 off produce in week 4. FREE: Shadybrook Turkey Burgers week 1 Baby Roy's Barbecue Sauce week 2 KLONDIKE BARS(!) week 3 Kraft Salad Dressing week 4

One of the supermarkets I shop at sent me coupons. $5 off $25 in weeks 1 & 3, $2 off meat in week 2, 2 off produce in week 4. FREE: Shadybrook Turkey Burgers week 1 Baby Roy's Barbecue Sauce week 2 KLONDIKE BARS (!) week 3 Kraft Salad Dressing week 4

Many of the comic strips I post in the "I LOVE A GOOD PUN" thread disappear after awhile, leaving a blank space that shows 'likes' by several people. As an experiment, I deleted one of those posts, and my 'likes' went down by 2 (the # of people who'd liked it). I won't be deleting any others; I've just filled in the blank spaces with

Many of the comic strips I post in the "I LOVE A GOOD PUN" thread disappear after awhile, leaving a blank space that shows 'likes' by several people. As an experiment, I deleted one of those posts, and my 'likes' went down by 2 (the # of people who'd liked it). I won't be deleting any others; I've just filled in the blank spaces with

I've had ED all my life, even before Bob Dole made it fashionable. Finally found out it's because I was born with spinal stenosis at the base of my spine, so the electrical signals don't fully reach my lower half. Viagra doesn't work.

If you just watch an actor’s body of work removed from cultural context, it can be difficult to gauge just how large they loomed in pop culture. With news of Burt Reynolds’ passing at the age of 82, the understandable urge will be to immediately stream any number of his culture-defining hits. Deliverance, Boogie Nights, Smokey and the Bandit,The Longest Yard, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas,Cannonball Run – all of those movies show Reynolds as the magnetic hunk of tanned Hollywood mega-talent that he was. But while watching them will give you a direct dose of Reynolds’ trademarked brand of sexy, cocky swagger, you might not get a feel for just how big a deal he was. Surprisingly, if you want to see the effect Burt Reynolds had on people, you might want to check out an episode ofThe Golden Girls. Reynolds’ downright iconic cameo comes early in the show’s run, a Season 2 episode titled “Ladies of the Evening.” In it, the girls win three tickets to the premiere of Burt Reynolds’ new movie as well as passes to the after-party. The effect Burt Reynolds has on all of them is the stuff of myth and legend. They all fall under his sway, just at the thought of being able to breath in his musk. Blanche can only refer to the actor as “Mistuh Burt Reynolds,” emphasizing her husky accent. Blanche, Rose, Sophia, Dorothy–they all want a piece of Burt, and Sophia’s angry she’s getting left out. Things don’t go as planned. Blanche, Rose, and Dorothy stop by for a drink on the way to the premiere at a hotel bar–but the hotel turns out to be a brothel. And the girls get roped up along with all the other ladies of the evening and tossed in the slammer. Instead of bailing them out, Sophia snatches the tickets and hops over to the premiere. As she tells her roommates the next day, she had a totally Hollywood night schmoozing with Reynolds’ entourage members Lonnie Anderson and Dom DeLuise. The girls don’t believe her… that is, until the doorbell rings. Enter: Burt Reynolds, as if carved from the finest wood, a burly and handsome slab of man standing in the doorway. The normally unimpressed Dorothy is stunned, absolutely stunned. Sophia runs to the door for her date with Burt, thus leading to one of the absolute best jokes in all of Golden Girls history: Such was the power of Burt Reynolds.

A woman in Florida allegedly raped a 14-year-old boy while her husband and children were in the same room, police said. Justice Maryie McKay, of Lake Butler, was arrested Wednesday on sexual battery charges after the boy’s mother noticed marks on his body left by McKay and confronted her, showing her photographs of his body, the Gainesville Sun reports. McKay, 22, and her family were at the boy’s home on July 22 celebrating her birthday when she used WhatsApp messenger to summon the boy into a room where she was staying – and where her husband and children were sleeping, according to a police report. The boy initially refused McKay’s offer and said no at least once before going to the room, where he told McKay he had no intention of getting physical with her, the boy told police. But once there, McKay kissed him, removed his clothes and had sex with the teen, police said. The following day, McKay told the boy she “wanted to be with him” and couldn’t forget what they had done. About a month later, McKay picked up the boy from a bus stop in Gainesville and told him she’d give him a ride to school. But instead of taking him to class, McKay took the teen to her home in Lake Butler, where they had sex again on Aug. 13, police said. McKay left scratch marks and “hickies” on the boy’s body during the sexual battery, according to investigators. Days later, McKay picked the boy up from a gas station in Gainesville before they had sex again. During those incidents in August, police said McKay’s five children and teen cousin were also in the home during the alleged attacks. McKay, who has filed a written plea of not guilty, remained held at the Alachua County Jail on $75,000 bond as of Friday morning, online records show. Her attorney could not be reached for comment, according to the Gainesville Sun.

Sorry, I don't understand the joke.

I saw the London production & loved it. Don't remember if Paige was still in it at that point. Don't know why they altered the show for Broadway. My sister & former roommate used to sing I Know Him So Well at karaoke nights.

Rose: “This is not just a plate, mister. This is a family heirloom. It's Great-Great-Grandma Nylund's ceremonial wedding plate...The bride's family fills the plate with fruit and then at the wedding all the guests eat from it. And when the last piece is gone, that's when the bride and groom leave to start their wedding night, which takes place in a tent or a Best Western. The Vikings have always been a very progressive people. Anyway, that's when it's time for the husband to symbolically 'offer himself' to his new bride… on the plate.” Stan: “Yeck! I ate a tuna sandwich on that plate this afternoon.” Rose: “Stan, I'm never going to forgive you for this. My niece is getting married in the spring. What's her husband gonna do?” Blanche: “I bet a gravy boat would work in a pinch.”

Trucker pals who met at work discover they’re father and son Two Wisconsin truck drivers became buddies at work but found out they actually share a much deeper connection — they’re father and son. Nathan Boos, 28, who was adopted, never asked about his biological parents, so his adoptive mom and dad never disclosed their identities. “Growing up I always knew that I was adopted, it just never crossed my mind that I would ever find my parents,” the Tilden resident told local news network WEAU-TV. But unbeknownst to him, he’d been working alongside his biological father, Bob Degaro, 56, at Rock Solid Transport in Chippewa Falls for the past two years. Boos and Degaro became pals at work and were friends on Facebook — but it was Boos’ adoptive mother who made the link between the two. She told her son that his biological dad was also a truck driver. “She just went on my Facebook and went through my friends list and brought up his picture and I said, ‘Get out of here,’” Boos recalled. Degaro was equally floored. “He messaged me on Facebook one day and asked me if I knew his biological mother and I’m like yeah, that’s my ex-wife … and I about fell out of my seat … I’m like, oh my God,” Degaro said. Degaro said Boos was put up for adoption for financial reasons. “Back then I wasn’t much of a dad. His biological mom had chosen the adoptive parents because they were somewhat related … distant cousins, I believe, but I didn’t know that,” he explained. The two men are now working on strengthening the friendship they had already forged at work. Degaro is even planning on attending Boos’ upcoming wedding. “It’s still kind of a shock and there’s days I’m not sure exactly what to say or how to act,” Degaro said. “I mean, he is my son but yet we didn’t have that father-son relationship growing up and then we became working partners before we knew who we really were.” Boos added, “We’re just taking one day at a time, one mile at a time, as we say.”

Burt Reynolds, ‘Smokey and the Bandit’ actor, dead at 82 Burt Reynolds, an icon of 1970s Hollywood, has died at the age of 82. Reynolds’ manager, Erik Kritzer, confirmed the “Smokey and the Bandit” star’s death to The Hollywood Reporter, saying he passed away Thursday morning at Jupiter Medical Center in Florida. A former college football player who took up acting after an injury cut short his playing career, Reynolds spent a decade taking on bit roles in Hollywood before breaking through with roles in some of the biggest films of the decade, including “Deliverance,” “The Longest Yard” and — the movie he’s best known for — “Smokey and the Bandit.” Reynolds was born in Lansing, Michigan, on Feb. 11, 1936. His family settled in Riviera Beach, Florida, after his father, who served in the Army, returned from Europe in 1946. An All State football player in high school, Reynolds attended Florida State University on an athletic scholarship, playing halfback. Although he intended to go pro, his career was cut short by a series of injuries. Reynolds briefly contemplated a career in law enforcement, but a teacher recognized his talent while reading Shakespeare in English class and pushed him toward acting. The move would be a fruitful one, earning him the Florida State Drama Award in 1956, which came with a scholarship to the Hyde Park Playhouse, a summer stock theater in Hyde Park, New York. Afterwards, Reynolds had a brief stopover in New York, where he appeared in several theatrical productions before moving out west to Hollywood. He began appearing on television in the late ’50s, but it wasn’t until 1962 that he secured a consistent role as the half-Native American blacksmith Quint Asper on “Gunsmoke.” A decade later, he had his big-screen breakthrough in “Deliverance,” John Boorman’s psychological thriller about four friends whose rural rafting trip takes a terrifying turn. Reynolds said he considered the Oscar-nominated film, which co-starred Jon Voight, Ned Beatty and Ronny Cox, the best of his career. The film helped establish Reynolds as one of the most marketable stars of the decade. He’d go on to star in a string of memorable hits including “White Lightning” (1973), “The Longest Yard” (1974), “Gator” (1976), “Semi-Tough” (1977) and, his most famous film, “Smokey and the Bandit” (1977). Reynolds starred in the film alongside future girlfriend Sally Field, playing Bo “Bandit” Darville, a charming outlaw tasked with transporting a tractor-trailer filled with beer over state lines. Reynolds continued to act regularly over the next four decades, notably starring in the “Cannonball Run” franchise in the ’80s and the sitcom “Evening Shade” in the early ’90s. But the most famous role of the latter part of his career was in Paul Thomas Anderson’s 1997 film “Boogie Nights.” While the film about the golden age of porn earned him an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actor, it never stopped him from trashing the film, which he said he could never finish watching, or the director, whom he said he didn’t like. An action star who did many of his own stunts, Reynolds was also a charismatic rogue and relentless flirt on-screen, helping to make him one of the biggest sex symbols of his time. So did his infamous appearance in the nude as a Cosmopolitan centerfold in April 1972. The actor was as much of a ladies’ man off-screen, and was married twice, to Judy Carne from 1963 to 1965 and to Loni Anderson from 1988 to 1993. Despite those two trips down the aisle, the love of Reynolds’ life appeared to be his “Smokey and the Bandit” co-star Field, whom he famously described as the one who got away. No matter the role, Reynolds always tended to play lovable rascals, something he knew audiences expected of him. “We’re only here for a little while, and you’ve got to have some fun, right?,” he told the New York Times in the spring of 2018. “I don’t take myself seriously, and I think the ones that do, there’s some sickness with people like that.”

Domino’s realizes free pizza for life promotion was a bad idea Domino’s Pizza in Russia was forced to end a promotion offering fans free pizza for life if they got the brand’s logo tattooed “in a prominent place” on their body after the campaign became too popular. The promotion was originally advertised to run for two months, starting Aug. 31, but the pizza chain ended it only five days in after its social media was flooded with excited pizza fanatics all proudly displaying their Domino’s tattoos. The advertisement promised up to 100 free Domino’s pizzas every year for 100 years to anyone who got a tattoo of the company’s logo, posted the photo to social media and proved the authenticity of the ink. The company clearly was not expecting so many fans to go under the needle for free pizza and ended the promotion Tuesday, announcing only the first 350 people with tattoos will be awarded the special lifetime deal. Those still in the process were given a deadline. “An urgent message to all those sitting at the tattoo artist’s right now: We’ll include you in the list of participants, but we’re waiting for photos up to midday today,” Domino’s said in a message on the company’s Vkontakte page. “To those with appointments scheduled for later, we recommend canceling them,” the company added.