robear

I think paying *and tipping* in advance may be muddying the waters here.  I always pay after, with the base rate already in an envelope.  As appropriate, I then add twenties from my wallet before handing it over.  It's then clear to the provider what's what.  In your case, I would remind the provider about my boundaries before each session, but not pay him until after, making clear the tip is for a job well done as requested.

I think paying *and tipping* in advance may be muddying the waters here.  I always pay after, with the base rate already in an envelope.  As appropriate, I then add twenties from my wallet before handing it over.  It's then clear to the provider what's what.  In your case, I would remind the provider about my boundaries before each session, but not pay him until after, making clear the tip is for a job well done as requested.

I guess I didn't read the post to mean "I am on vacation, and it's always miserable UNLESS I arrange a meeting with a provider."
I read it to mean "I am stuck on vacation with my insufferable in-laws. They're driving me nuts and ruining vacation. Can anyone suggest a provider here so I can escape for a few hours and enjoy myself?"

I don't think that's really pertinent to the story.
Their relationship is none of our business, no?

Gentlemen, thank you for your thoughts and for sharing your own horror stories. A rather strange type of solidarity. Much appreciated, though.
Update:
Yep. definitely been to Santo Domingo and it's richer in options. All-inclusive resorts are not necessarily my type of vacation, so this was purely to please my husband. Oddly, I've been to La Romana, and I've hooked up with people there without any issues.
So I wasn't able to flip the Butler, but as I have always said, it doesn't hurt to ask. I asked him if he flips and he said no, but he had a few names of guys who will gladly help. Something in the back of my mind was telling me that there has to be some kind of covert activity. I'm sure there have been this type of requests in the past.
I was referred to a few local providers, two of which I chose, one Dominican, the other Haitian. They were perfect, affordable, safe and hot as hell. Had a great time last night. As everything in the DR, they were versatile in many ways, one of which was that they also sell merchandise, so I got mugs, t-shirts and other souvenirs from them.
Today I saw the Butler and he did notice my change in mood for the better. He was discreet but inquired about "how was my day".
I rarely come to places where this type of things are more underground than easily accessible. I still feel that it was risky to ask the Butler if he flips and for info, but I'm glad I did. This chain of resorts is gay friendly (yes it's also LBT... friendly, but I'm talking about me) and this is an adults-only resort, so I guess that I'm not the first to make this type of request.
I also decided to tell my in-laws that I need "me time", so I haven't seen them. I'm glad that I was able to please my in-laws, please my husband and now please myself. Now I feel like a real vacation.

Husband insisted. It's his family and there are compromises, obligations and responsibilities that come with being married. Besides, even with all that, they are a lot better than my family.
But yes, you do have a point. We're not doing this again.

See if you can turn the butler.

Thank you for reminding me why I hate people and love my dog! 😆

I say dump the dead weight and go do your own thing! 😉

Agreed. I really do not think it’s about getting a bigger tip.  Maybe the guy is just aroused . Or yes maybe he is acting out of habit and it’s his usual process. If you like the guy and feel comfortable, then go with the flow. Don’t overthink it!   If you truly have  strong boundaries for some reason ( like loyalty to a partner) then yes just be clear up front as you have been and hope he respects that.  He should!  

I've sometimes been with masseurs well out of my league and it's still gone way further than what I expected or paid for. I started going to a guy recently where within 30 minutes of my first visit he was climbing on the table to fuck me. I didn't ask or pay for it and I'm not exactly irresistible so I assume he's just horny and likes to play. 
I've also been with regular masseurs where the sexual element fluctuates. One time it might be just a hand job at the end the next he's giving me an amazing rim job. I think there is an element of personal horniness with some masseurs so it's possible that's all it is.