saminseattle

I wasn’t aware of the prior name or discussions, but for what it’s worth, I saw him a few weeks ago and certainly enjoyed our time together.

I wasn’t aware of the prior name or discussions, but for what it’s worth, I saw him a few weeks ago and certainly enjoyed our time together.

If you are talking about limiting threads about providers to 2 years, fine.
But otherwise, there is a lot of history in our older threads and they should be fair game for discussion. Anything else is an attempt to bury the past, as well as the contributions of long time members. I would rather have it looked at on a case by case activity.

I'm so fortunate to live in the UK, where paying someone money in exchange for sexual services is perfectly legal. I couldn't imagine experiencing the anxiety of being 'busted' each time I engage in this most enjoyable hobby. 

Even if someone IS advertising "erotic" sessions...that is still not sex service and therefore sexual contact should not be mentioned in the context of a business dealing.
You never know when the politics change and crack downs on prostitution occur. So sex is a private matter and isn't part of the service so should never be discussed publicly.
 

Oh boy, congratulations to me, I just spent an outstanding 2 hours with Marco  https://rent.men/MagicSEA.   He's the 40th guy I’ve met through RM and it was a 5-star milestone experience. 😋 His RM page says it all and accurately shows this talented guy, but PM me if you want more details.

Completely different phone (Burner phone)

Seattle is getting better escort-wise.

I appreciate the importance of sharing information, especially to avoid scams of various kinds and certainly to avoid physically dangerous situations. At the same time, one concern I have about inviting people to critique escorts on an anonymous forum is that there is no vetting process and in most cases no opportunity to hear “the other side of the story.” This really does not seem fair when someone’s livelihood is on the line and his reputation can be sullied by gossip or innuendo. I believe there have been incidents in the past where clients and/or escorts have joined the forum simply to cause trouble, making false claims to hurt someone’s business, whether out of a rivalry with a competitor or a misguided attempt to “get back” at someone who rejected their requests or offended them in some minor way. I know it’s not your intent to create some kind of “all out bitch fest,” but I think we need to tread carefully here.
 
Having said all that, I don’t mind saying that I would personally avoid “Sexy Mega Pornstar Brodie Sinclair” who claims to be “Rentmensfinest.” IMHO, discretion is the number one rule in this business, and he has demonstrably transgressed it. https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/escort-outs-conde-nasts-cfo.106197/ In addition, he is reputed to be “batshit crazy.” https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/does-rm-have-a-responsibility-to-block-ads-from-people-like-brodie-sinclair.110665/#post-1041585 So yeah, he’s probably one to avoid.

Yes, state laws do define sex with considerable specificity in various contexts. For example, in the State of New York, where I believe you live, prostitution is a crime, but what does this mean exactly? Well, “A person is guilty of prostitution when such person engages or agrees or offers to engage in sexual conduct with another person in return for a fee.” (This is Section 230 of the NYS Penal Code which you can find with a simple google search.)
 
But what exactly is “sexual conduct?” Well, New York says it is “sexual intercourse, oral sexual conduct, anal sexual conduct, aggravated sexual contact, or sexual contact.” Section 130(10). Each of these terms is further defined. For example, “sexual intercourse has its ordinary meaning and occurs upon any penetration, however slight,” “oral sexual conduct means conduct between persons consisting of contact between the mouth and the penis, the mouth and the anus, or the mouth and the vulva or vagina,” “anal sexual conduct” mean conduct between persons consisting of contact between the penis and anus.”
 
So, a “blow job” definitely qualifies as “sexual conduct,” and it’s a crime to pay for one. But what about a “hand job” or “fingering” someone’s ass? Well, that’s where the definition of “sexual contact” comes in, which is extremely broad:
 
“Sexual contact means any touching of the sexual or other intimate parts of a person for the purpose of gratifying sexual desire of either party. It includes the touching of the actor by the victim, as well as the touching of the victim by the actor, whether directly or through clothing, as well as the emission of ejaculate by the actor upon any part of the victim, clothed or unclothed.”
 
So, a “hand job” definitely counts and people should keep in mind that if this is included as part of a massage, the parties are engaged in a form of prostitution. Fingering someone’s ass would almost certainly also count as sexual contact. But if your doctor is doing a “digital exam” to check for possible internal hemorrhoids or something, that is presumably not being done to gratify sexual desires so it won’t count (though I note that given some recent controversies about doctor conduct, it might depend on the specific situation…there is also a specific exception in New York to what might otherwise be a sex offense if it is conducted “for a valid medical or mental health care purpose.”).
 
Touching the perineum is a closer question, but I think most people would consider this area an “intimate part” of their person, so if the touching there is done for pleasure, I think it would count as “sexual contact” and it would probably be a crime to pay someone to touch you there, even if they did nothing else. At the same time, this kind of touching would not qualify as “sex” in the sense of “sexual intercourse” because there is no penetration (even a slight one). And some offenses require more than just sexual contact (1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree rape for example, all require sexual intercourse, in NYS at least).
 
The whole topic does raise interesting issues, like whether “muscle worship” is prostitution etc. One thing I always thought was strange about the original RB complaint was their focus on things like sneaker sniffing, which does not seem to fit any of these definitions of sex. So, while it might be perceived as “weird,” it is hardly illegal.

You may have access to this site from your work computer, but your employer almost certainly has the right to access your website history at work. Something to keep in mind…

Yes, state laws do define sex with considerable specificity in various contexts. For example, in the State of New York, where I believe you live, prostitution is a crime, but what does this mean exactly? Well, “A person is guilty of prostitution when such person engages or agrees or offers to engage in sexual conduct with another person in return for a fee.” (This is Section 230 of the NYS Penal Code which you can find with a simple google search.)
 
But what exactly is “sexual conduct?” Well, New York says it is “sexual intercourse, oral sexual conduct, anal sexual conduct, aggravated sexual contact, or sexual contact.” Section 130(10). Each of these terms is further defined. For example, “sexual intercourse has its ordinary meaning and occurs upon any penetration, however slight,” “oral sexual conduct means conduct between persons consisting of contact between the mouth and the penis, the mouth and the anus, or the mouth and the vulva or vagina,” “anal sexual conduct” mean conduct between persons consisting of contact between the penis and anus.”
 
So, a “blow job” definitely qualifies as “sexual conduct,” and it’s a crime to pay for one. But what about a “hand job” or “fingering” someone’s ass? Well, that’s where the definition of “sexual contact” comes in, which is extremely broad:
 
“Sexual contact means any touching of the sexual or other intimate parts of a person for the purpose of gratifying sexual desire of either party. It includes the touching of the actor by the victim, as well as the touching of the victim by the actor, whether directly or through clothing, as well as the emission of ejaculate by the actor upon any part of the victim, clothed or unclothed.”
 
So, a “hand job” definitely counts and people should keep in mind that if this is included as part of a massage, the parties are engaged in a form of prostitution. Fingering someone’s ass would almost certainly also count as sexual contact. But if your doctor is doing a “digital exam” to check for possible internal hemorrhoids or something, that is presumably not being done to gratify sexual desires so it won’t count (though I note that given some recent controversies about doctor conduct, it might depend on the specific situation…there is also a specific exception in New York to what might otherwise be a sex offense if it is conducted “for a valid medical or mental health care purpose.”).
 
Touching the perineum is a closer question, but I think most people would consider this area an “intimate part” of their person, so if the touching there is done for pleasure, I think it would count as “sexual contact” and it would probably be a crime to pay someone to touch you there, even if they did nothing else. At the same time, this kind of touching would not qualify as “sex” in the sense of “sexual intercourse” because there is no penetration (even a slight one). And some offenses require more than just sexual contact (1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree rape for example, all require sexual intercourse, in NYS at least).
 
The whole topic does raise interesting issues, like whether “muscle worship” is prostitution etc. One thing I always thought was strange about the original RB complaint was their focus on things like sneaker sniffing, which does not seem to fit any of these definitions of sex. So, while it might be perceived as “weird,” it is hardly illegal.

Yes, state laws do define sex with considerable specificity in various contexts. For example, in the State of New York, where I believe you live, prostitution is a crime, but what does this mean exactly? Well, “A person is guilty of prostitution when such person engages or agrees or offers to engage in sexual conduct with another person in return for a fee.” (This is Section 230 of the NYS Penal Code which you can find with a simple google search.)
 
But what exactly is “sexual conduct?” Well, New York says it is “sexual intercourse, oral sexual conduct, anal sexual conduct, aggravated sexual contact, or sexual contact.” Section 130(10). Each of these terms is further defined. For example, “sexual intercourse has its ordinary meaning and occurs upon any penetration, however slight,” “oral sexual conduct means conduct between persons consisting of contact between the mouth and the penis, the mouth and the anus, or the mouth and the vulva or vagina,” “anal sexual conduct” mean conduct between persons consisting of contact between the penis and anus.”
 
So, a “blow job” definitely qualifies as “sexual conduct,” and it’s a crime to pay for one. But what about a “hand job” or “fingering” someone’s ass? Well, that’s where the definition of “sexual contact” comes in, which is extremely broad:
 
“Sexual contact means any touching of the sexual or other intimate parts of a person for the purpose of gratifying sexual desire of either party. It includes the touching of the actor by the victim, as well as the touching of the victim by the actor, whether directly or through clothing, as well as the emission of ejaculate by the actor upon any part of the victim, clothed or unclothed.”
 
So, a “hand job” definitely counts and people should keep in mind that if this is included as part of a massage, the parties are engaged in a form of prostitution. Fingering someone’s ass would almost certainly also count as sexual contact. But if your doctor is doing a “digital exam” to check for possible internal hemorrhoids or something, that is presumably not being done to gratify sexual desires so it won’t count (though I note that given some recent controversies about doctor conduct, it might depend on the specific situation…there is also a specific exception in New York to what might otherwise be a sex offense if it is conducted “for a valid medical or mental health care purpose.”).
 
Touching the perineum is a closer question, but I think most people would consider this area an “intimate part” of their person, so if the touching there is done for pleasure, I think it would count as “sexual contact” and it would probably be a crime to pay someone to touch you there, even if they did nothing else. At the same time, this kind of touching would not qualify as “sex” in the sense of “sexual intercourse” because there is no penetration (even a slight one). And some offenses require more than just sexual contact (1st, 2nd, and 3rd degree rape for example, all require sexual intercourse, in NYS at least).
 
The whole topic does raise interesting issues, like whether “muscle worship” is prostitution etc. One thing I always thought was strange about the original RB complaint was their focus on things like sneaker sniffing, which does not seem to fit any of these definitions of sex. So, while it might be perceived as “weird,” it is hardly illegal.

I think that everyone should define their own limits for whatever they are comfortable doing.
“Safer sex” means different things to different people and if someone has made a decision that they aren’t comfortable with uncovered oral then that’s quite alright.
 
The problem I would have is in not disclosing that in advance. Theoretically I could decide that my risk tolerance is very low and I’m only comfortable sitting across the room while someone J/O’s. If someone’s preferences differ significantly from the norm (granted that’s subjective) I would appreciate a heads-up in a profile along the lines of “ask me about my limits” to start a dialogue and make everyone happy. That way there’s no hard feelings about a perceived bait-and-switch.

I have met him on a few occasions over the last several years and have always enjoyed spending time with him, though I should note that I have never experienced his massage. Incidentally, I don’t think he’s from New Orleans, but Mexico City. If you search for Armann, you will find a number of threads that reference him, with almost all positive comments. Per @TruHart1 he recently published a memoir. https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/a-self-published-book-by-escort-armann-behind-the-mask.138280/

I can't top the eloquent message you wrote on my birthday last year.
 
But there is this:
 

 
So I will give you a piece of fond and well-intentioned birthday advice.
 
If you are planning to have a birthday party tonight ............. don't.
 
If this forum is any indication, the sort of people with whom you associate will only cause problems with the neighbors.
 
http://www.happybirthdaycake2015.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/%D0%91%D0%B5%D0%B7-%D0%BD%D0%B0%D0%B7%D0%B2%D0%B0%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%8F-1-min.jpg
 
Happy Birthday!
 
With deepest love and affection,
 
Steven

From what I have read, this is very common on the straight side of the industry, but very rare on the gay side. This may have to do with the average physical power imbalance between men and women resulting in greater security concerns. Certainly, there are some crazy people out there and knowing someone’s identity could provide a sense of accountability for misbehavior. On the other hand, providing this information comes with its own set of risks. During coverage of a major local “sting” operation, I recall the authorities expressing shock that people would freely give out their drivers’ license, employee ID badge, etc. Of course, after such an operation, people are far less likely to be so forthcoming in the future. In this way, the government authorities inadvertently discourage a safety/screening method and make life more dangerous for those they are supposedly trying to protect.

This is not the first time this issue has come up. I am reminded particularly of a thread by Devon Hunter from a few years ago: https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/a-way-to-warn-other-escorts-of-a-repeat-time-waster.102347/. I align myself with the comment of @WhamIAm (post 33), although I do not find it completely satisfying, as I also sympathize with Devon’s response about a “cycle of powerlessness.” (post 34). Demanding that providers simply absorb the loss and move on with no realistic accountability for appalling client misbehavior leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. Still, I cannot think of an alternative approach that does not risk creating even greater damage, for all sides. As I have said before, if there were a code of professional ethics in this business, I think the first rule would absolute discretion for the client (with the only exception being cases of violence). https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/price-point-and-alternative-advetising-lowering-rates.120359/page-2#post-1206041 (post 28). I even extended this to the Italian priest case not long ago, even though I think my view was in the minority on that thread. https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/italian-escort-tells-all.134378/. People have also clearly not forgotten about the Austin Wolf controversy, so once the line has been crossed, it can have a lasting impact. https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/out-of-bounds-by-an-escort.106907/, https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/public-shaming-of-the-john-part-deux-austin-wolf.100252/. Along those lines, there was also this: https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/scammer-alert-beware.104455/ (which I cross-reference because of some insightful comments, not because I’m trying to resurrect old disputes on threads that had to be shut down).
 
Having said all that, we all make mistakes, and we would all be hurting if there were no second chances. While some people may cross someone off their list for such transgressions, others would simply proceed more cautiously. Last year, I chose to meet up with someone I was quite enamored with, despite knowing that he had used his twitter account to publicly shame someone who had offended him somehow. We had a great time together, and I am glad I overlooked his faux pas.

This is not the first time this issue has come up. I am reminded particularly of a thread by Devon Hunter from a few years ago: https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/a-way-to-warn-other-escorts-of-a-repeat-time-waster.102347/. I align myself with the comment of @WhamIAm (post 33), although I do not find it completely satisfying, as I also sympathize with Devon’s response about a “cycle of powerlessness.” (post 34). Demanding that providers simply absorb the loss and move on with no realistic accountability for appalling client misbehavior leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. Still, I cannot think of an alternative approach that does not risk creating even greater damage, for all sides. As I have said before, if there were a code of professional ethics in this business, I think the first rule would absolute discretion for the client (with the only exception being cases of violence). https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/price-point-and-alternative-advetising-lowering-rates.120359/page-2#post-1206041 (post 28). I even extended this to the Italian priest case not long ago, even though I think my view was in the minority on that thread. https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/italian-escort-tells-all.134378/. People have also clearly not forgotten about the Austin Wolf controversy, so once the line has been crossed, it can have a lasting impact. https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/out-of-bounds-by-an-escort.106907/, https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/public-shaming-of-the-john-part-deux-austin-wolf.100252/. Along those lines, there was also this: https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/scammer-alert-beware.104455/ (which I cross-reference because of some insightful comments, not because I’m trying to resurrect old disputes on threads that had to be shut down).
 
Having said all that, we all make mistakes, and we would all be hurting if there were no second chances. While some people may cross someone off their list for such transgressions, others would simply proceed more cautiously. Last year, I chose to meet up with someone I was quite enamored with, despite knowing that he had used his twitter account to publicly shame someone who had offended him somehow. We had a great time together, and I am glad I overlooked his faux pas.

The example I was thinking of was not a typical sting operation, but was more of an undercover operation which culminated in shutting-down an escort review site and the arrest and prosecution of dozens of people, including the website operator (who later killed himself). Two of the prosecutions are apparently still ongoing, more than two years later. https://sexworkclients.org/news-updates/give-to-the-review-board-defense/
 
Anyway, I went back and read the article again, and you’re right that it was not the police that originally requested the photo ID’s; nevertheless, through their investigation they ended up with “hundreds of pieces of identification” of clients including “employee badges from Microsoft, Amazon and Boeing, as well as LinkedIn accounts, business letterheads, passports and even family photos.” According to the article, their reaction was “Wow! They’re sending their personal information to a criminal enterprise.” https://projects.seattletimes.com/2017/eastside-prostitution-bust/ I suspect that reading this kind of a story in the newspaper might make clients more reluctant to provide their full/real names, even for legitimate screening purposes…once the information is out there, who knows where it may end up.
 
While it's not necessarily typical, I think this is an interesting case to be aware of, and I've been trying to follow it since the story first broke in January 2016. https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/crackdown-continues.110695/ While it’s quite lengthy, here is another take on what happened, different from that of the Seattle Times. https://reason.com/archives/2016/09/09/the-truth-about-us-sex-trafficking

From what I have read, this is very common on the straight side of the industry, but very rare on the gay side. This may have to do with the average physical power imbalance between men and women resulting in greater security concerns. Certainly, there are some crazy people out there and knowing someone’s identity could provide a sense of accountability for misbehavior. On the other hand, providing this information comes with its own set of risks. During coverage of a major local “sting” operation, I recall the authorities expressing shock that people would freely give out their drivers’ license, employee ID badge, etc. Of course, after such an operation, people are far less likely to be so forthcoming in the future. In this way, the government authorities inadvertently discourage a safety/screening method and make life more dangerous for those they are supposedly trying to protect.

Big generalization there....many do in fact pay for time, date, talk. Not my preference...but I do know there is no such thing as one comment fits all here.

Oh, you kids with your Internet. I still mail my discs into Netflix.

Lol, it is my M4M birthday today!
 
Thanks guys, appreciate the thoughts!

I was just sitting here in front of my computer reading the daily bull shit and suddenly I've grown philosophical, for me at least.
 
Reading about David and Eric and their accident and the fact that they have friends/family to take care of them is heartwarming.
 
I was planning to come to the pool party, all rsvp'd, ready to surprise a few of our delectable friends and Karma, bitch that she is, decided to bite me in the ass.
No symptoms, routine blood test and whammo - leukemia. At least the kind with the best treatment and prognosis (decades!) - CML.
With that info, I'm putting up with the temporary chemo side effects as well as disease side effects, pushing myself to eat so I don't lose any more weight, and following doc's orders.
Which, by the by, include some 420 edibles - great for pain and sleep.
 
I go 2 times a week for extra iv hydration and that's probably where this is coming from. To be in a huge room divided into cubbies with patient after patient having something really bad, smiles on their faces still, hits home. Ran into a friend just there as a final follow up of breast cancer, she asked what? and I simply responded, nothing good. I got to thinking, actually I'm well off - good treatment, prognosis, like Eric and Dave I have friends and family to run out and get me a pizza if I'm suddenly hungry!
 
A few of you guys already knew this and I greatly appreciate the reaching out and PM's. I've got my Big Boy pants on and I'm ready to face whatever pops up. After all, I'm still Funguy!