Rudynate

Im on PrEp and I like bareback sex, but I'm ok with condoms. When I have booked providers who say "safe only," when I show up for the appoinment, most willingly have bareback sex with me. I don't even have to persuade them. So I have come to think of "safe only" as being mostly advertising. At the same time, if a guy insisted on condoms, I would willingly comply.

It isn't to avoid sexual involvement. I'm perfectly capable of preserving the professional footing of a professional relationship. I worked out those boundary issues a long time ago. I don't develop crushes easily. I just like being around straight guys. And I really enjoy that dumb jock style that so many straight guys adopt in the gym. It even rubs off on me a little but I drop it as soon as I leave the gym.

Sure, bodybuilder-big presents all sorts of awkward lifestyle challenges. To me, the sweetspot is just this side of bodybuilder-big

I'll catch hell for this, but I confess I prefer straight guys as trainer/coach.

I had a series of mentoring sessions with a well known body building author. He said a skinny man will find it almost impossible to gain muscle and and keep it on until he loses his skinny man's mindset. He said skinny guys and big guys have different mindsets and the skinny guy needs to learn the big man's mindset in order to put on muscle and keep it. That's essentially what my coach was saying.

Great priorities!

Some months ago, my coach advised me to relax and really enjoy being big.

I confess to a touch of body dysmorphia. The way I look in the mirror doesn't match up with the feedback I get from others.

It would make good blog material

I think I might have a built-in market across the Golden Gate. Marin is full of retired professional gay men.

If there is an afterlife, I am imagining that it is metaphysical rather than physical and therefore lacks the limitations of the physical world. In a metaphysical after life, I imagine those trillions of souls could easily occupy a space the size of a head of a pin without feeling crowded, or the size of the space could dwarf the universe, or they wouldn't occupy space at all.

She has the usual agglomeration of new-agey beliefs that they always have.

My niece makes a very good living as an Internet psychic. She is fairly well known. When her mother died, her father was quite distraught. To lessen her father's grief, she called in a consulting psychic for a seance so that he could talk to his recently-departed wife. The wife reassured him that everything was great and he shouldn't worry about her, that they were keeping her really busy. When I heard that, I had a bunch of questions: who is they? What do you keep busy with in the afterlife, etc., etc?

But why does good health have to be your only priority? What's wrong with wanting to get swole just for the sake of getting swole?

I have a deep reservoir of good will on this forum. That might have something to do with it.

Why does the trainer have to be an escort,

I'm excited about the possibility. One escort, who I don't think would bullshit me, said he thought I had definite future as a daddy escort .

I had an amazing result from a guy who did myofascial release.

That's true, you can't let the imaging freak you out. My spine films show one or both of disc disease and joint disease at nearly every level of my spine. Yet, I feel fine.

That's true, you can't let the imaging freak you out. My spine films show one or both of disc disease and joint disease at nearly every level of my spine. Yet, I feel fine.

You have to have supportive people around you. My partner was a god send. I was almost completely homebound. He did all the shopping, chores and errands. He thought of ways to get me out of the house occasionally. During that time, we went to museums a lot. We would get a wheelchair and he would push me around in it. It's actually a great way to see a popular exhibit. People see a wheelchair coming and they get out of the way. I occasionally had to travel, which was tough. I would pay the extra money for economy plus or business class and I would use wheelchair attendants and advance boarding. I would rent big luxury cars that were really comfortable.

I've had 2 spine surgeries. Both surgeries were to treat sciatic pain. I know what that pain is like-it rots you. You feel like your life is over. I've been a patient in a chronic pain clinic. The surgeries worked for me. My last surgery was a multi-level lumbar fusion. The recovery was a a mofo. The initial recovery takes about six months, but a full rehab took about three years. But it was worth doing. I feel great most of the time. Before the surgeries, in order to live with the pain, I took a lot of opiates and I had many epidural steroid injections. There was one point that I was looking into an intrathecal morphine pump that delivers a constant drip of morphine directly to the spinal canal.

Of course you do that. My oldest brothers wife died a couple of years ago. When they started going thought the house and her personal effects, they found around $50k stashed here and there. When my oldest friend died from AIDS, his partner later told me that brokerage accounts and other assets just kept turning up for over a year.

No quite the opposite. I don't need the money, I have a busy professional practice. If I did it it would be more as an adventure. It's always nice to have a little mad money on hand for an unplanned weekend away. I've been pulling away from hiring recently. Ive had a string of great experiences with ordinary guys that didn't cost me anything. With some notable exceptions, the sex with hired guys is Ok, but forgettable. So for me the calculus is great free sex vs. forgettable paid sex. The great free sex is winning. It would be a great irony if escorting drew me back in as a provider.