SecretProvider

While it did take two years, it is worth noting that he was under the impression it was dealt with until it was brought up here two years later again, and although initially hesitant - he did resolve it. Clearly Theo has learned a very valuable lesson at a very young age. The person that was actually affected seems happy with the result and as promised has removed the posts that he was able to. I think it's kind of everyone else to do the same.

Best practice is to assume everyone is positive, and protect yourself accordingly - whether that be condoms or prep. It's not the 90s anymore. You are responsible for your own health. The beauty of prep is if you are taking it, it doesn't matter what your partner is saying/doing. FYI - A doctor client told me that 90% of his gay patients that test positive were in monogamous relationships, and so were not using protection be it condoms or prep.

Days when you are seeing 3-4 clients a day are rare even for the most busy of guys. I'm not saying it doesnt happen - it does, but not often.

Unless he is honest and tells you that he has another appointment before or after - you should have no way of knowing during your session. If he is honest and tells you when you ask and you know it upsets you to hear it, don't ask.

If you are doing 4 hour appointment and you have a rapport- you may as well just speak to yoru provider about doing an overnight session instead. Often that is the equivalent of 4 single hours anyway.

For me- it is a perfect ratio: the more time you spend on the outside, it's exactly proportionate to how deep you can then go. Take the time to build it up before diving in. It's worth it.

👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

This is a scam network has been doing for years. They are based in Nigeria. It's a whole syndicate with teams of people working. When they message using whatsapp or signal they always use business accounts. They work on two fronts - one is setting up fake accounts on RM and getting clients to send large deposits. The second arm of the scam is to contact providers - They message pretending to want a booking - do all the right messages - then when you are 10 minutes away: suddenly they tell you they need you to pick up a drink and type of card to 'occupy their children.' They need you to send it to them before you come up. This happens to us almost WEEKLY. I have thought about starting a thread with them to show why I require deposits now. The other line we get is "i love your pics and I am an artist and I want to use them in a mural! I can pay you for the rights, i just need to pay you by cheque,......i will send you cheque, you deposit it and then you can send me half of it." "hey i am looking for a text buddy,,,,, will you be happy to take allowance of $500 a week" "hey I am looking to make a 3 hour booking!" They message us almost daily. Sometimes more than once a day. As soon as you ask for a deposit they disappear.

I offered to look up a providers profile for someone here who was asking for help assessing it and have been receiving requests to do so for others DAILY now (some people haven't even said 'please') so I thought I would post a little 'how to assess and hire' guide and just send the link. Disclaimer - *none of this is fool-proof and there is always inherent risk in anything you do. You can walk outside and be struck by lightning today. Please do not comment with 'whataboutisms' or tales of woe on this thread. I don’t care and I won’t read it. 1. VPN Use a VPN to view the rentmen site so you can read the text in the reviews. Pages of discussions of what VPN is best are on this site. I recommend Privado which is subscription based, but I use a VPN whenever I turn on my computer or phone. There is a free site - nl.hideproxy.me that works however you must use Chrome browser on laptop. 2. REVIEWS Look at who has left the reviews. Check the client profiles. Did they open the account at a similar time to the provider, or have they been on rentmen for years? Have they left many reviews? Has one provider got 15 reviews but 7 are from the same person? Do they have lots of great reviews and then one bad one? Have a look at the person who left the bad reviews profile - has the person that left the bad review left lots of bad reviews for other guys too? Reach out and send a message to clients that have left reviews and ask some questions. Don't ask for a blow-by-blow account- just ask brief question that is relevant for you. eg. Does he have a nice place to host? Did he kiss?) Search the providers name here on Company of Men. If you find no threads - start a 411 thread and ask if anyone has experience. This is a GREAT way to see if a 'new' provider is actually a name changer, and just a new profile. This site is a cesspool at times, but it can also be a great resource. Help add to the resource. If you are interested, it's likely someone else is too! Please remember if someone posts a 411 thread about a guy who you don't like the look of - move on! no need to yuk on other peoples yum. How many reviews does this person have compared to how long they have been on the site. Keeping in mind – guys located in big cities will have more clients, reviews can only be left by premium members now, and so newer guys take a little longer to get some. Some guys only work this as a side hustle and also might not have as many reviews. 3. PHOTOS Have a look at when the photos were uploaded, are any recent? You can see the date added, there should be photos from at least this year. Does it look like any pics were massively photoshopped or changed? Do they have at least 10 photos? If they have blurred face on their profile, are they willing to send via other means? For eg snapchat, whatsapp, facetime. If they are not willing to do this, it is a BIG RED FLAG. 4. PNP Does the provider list PNP? If so, what does that even mean? My advice is to steer clear from providers, or people in general, who do hard drugs. If you like the look of the provider anyway, reach out ask 'what does PNP mean for you?' The results will vary. Some may say 'oh I like to sometimes take gummies' 'I like to do coke' 'I like to do Tina', 'I don't party but I don't mind if you do'. A good rule is: Only go with providers that do the same level of partying as you do yourself. OK SO YOU FINALLY CHOSE THE GUY YOU WANT TO MEET- NOW WHAT? 5. Messaging When reaching out - Be direct, polite and clear. Use this template - Hello, my name is (desired name) I'm in (desired city) and I would like to get together with you (Desired date and time) I'm interested in (incall/outcall) and doing (desired information) Don't message 'hi how are you?' and nothing else. While that may seem fine to message a friend or someone on a dating app, you wouldn't reach out to another service provider (hairdresser, doctor, cleaner, realtor, chef) and just wait for a reply to that. We don't have time to reply to every message that says "hey". Please don't say 'I’m looking for fun.' 'I want to feel good.' 'I want to relax'. Its lame and it tells us nothing. Tell us exactly what you are interested in. If you use this template you WILL get a good response. Especially of you text it. 6. READ. THE. PROFILE It's extremely frustrating and annoying when 'clients' reach out and ask questions where the answer is clearly written on the profile. 'How tall are you?' "Do you host?' 'Are you cut or uncut' 'do you top' All of the stats, positions, likes and interests, current city + travel dates - there is a wealth of infomation on our profiles, it will save you time to have a quick read! Don't ever message and ask 'What are you into?' It is not relevant and reeks of someone wanting jerk off material. For providers, it is a huge red flag when ‘clients’ message this. 7. Communicate what you are looking for. Say what you want. We are not mind readers. We have heard it ALL I assure you. 8. Deposits. Deposits. To be or not to be - that is the question! Loathe to hear anyone else opinion on this - don't message me I literally do not care what you have to say- I'm just giving my take as I have been asked about it many times now, that doesn't mean I am asking for yours. 1. New providers should not be asking for deposits. 2. You should not be sending a deposit to someone who has no reviews. 3. Same day in-call appointments should not require a deposit. 4. We do receive a huge amount of fake bookings and if you are wanting an outcall - providing an uber if asked is not unreasonable for a new provider to ensure it is YOU who is not a scammer/flake/pranker. If, and only IF - the provider does have plenty of reviews both here and on rentmen, a SMALL deposit is fine, but really nothing more than $50. If you are wanting an overnight, or the provider to travel a great distance - it is reasonable that small amount would be ratioed taking the distance/time into account. For eg, I do ask for the equivalent of 1hr fee as deposit if I am to be booked for overnight, traveling interstate or internationally. Some factual background - I require all new clients to send minimal deposit and it has not reduced my workload at all. The only change I experienced was the rate of cancelations has since reduced to almost zero. (last year only 2 cancellations/no shows the whole YEAR) This year after seeing all the nonsense posted on these boards by Couch Critics, Monday Morning Quarterbacks and just total Clowns - I stopped requesting them for new clients just to see what would happen. The result of the experiment was shocking even to me. A cancelation/ghosting rate of 65% for that month. This percentage rate increased when it was a client who messaged ONLY from rentmen messenger, or a burner phone number (yes we can tell if you are using a burner phone). Whilst the vast majority of people who use this forum are the real deal, please understand that if you say 'just trust me I am coming' the truth is – the stats show that you are more than likely not. If you are reaching out to a new provider - they have not earned the rank of being able to request deposits. Ask them if they have no deposit options instead – perhaps for a same day in-call appointment may work. If you are reaching out to an established provider, they may have no-deposit options you can do as well. If you are wanting a longer booking, or for the provider to hold a spot open for you on the just the promise that you will arrive and not a deposit - you may be out of luck. A well-reviewed provider will not runway with your $50 when they can make $300 or more by actually seeing you - and maybe make a new regular client out of you (our best hope!). 9. Have fun. Be Safe. Use Commonsense.

You have me blocked but reading my replies. 🤣 First you say "don't pay deposit i make them fly to me on their own dime! hahaha!' now you change it to 'oh they flaked on me twice but i still hired them' make your mind up so you stay with some credibility bro. 🙃 To stay on thread for Cooper - The OP would do well with either guys, or both at the same time. WE look forward to hearing the reviews from the encounter.

Did you pay the attorney the retainer before they represented you? Of course you did, they would insist. You say you treat providers like professionals but then you won't pay a provider a small deposit before making them FLY out to see you, then come on here and boast about it. You treat providers like professionals? The answer is - No, you do not treat providers like professionals, you like to wave money and make them jump for it, just like that guy in China.

To the surprise of absolutely no one, you think this is cool. Sigh. Perfectly fine and exactly the way I was suggesting! 👏👏👏👏👏

Thanks for your thoughtful and considered comment. It's been a nice change of pace for this forum. I think we are both on the same page. I agree that chatting is important. That's why I said if you reach out and you are not happy with the replies, move on to the next choice. What I am mentioning here is reaching out to multiple providers simultaneously. My motivation here is to educate because we do receive a lot of messages like the OP and the result is, due to volume and lower ROI our replies become robotic or shortened so it ruins the experience for everyone.

You do still owe him money because you stole 500 and gave him only 100 back. He probably said yes to 100 because he thought 100 was better than nothing, but that doesn't mean you are even now. Pay him the full amount you stole! Stop embarrassing yourself. You giving me second hand embarrassment here bro. Doing us all dirty here. I PROMISE YOU - it is worth the 400 to pay him back and have these threads deleted.

Yes. And my take is he is waving money in front of boys to see who will jump higher. 100% correct. This is me giving you that extra insight on the provider side - It would be better if he did this research here FIRST, then reach out to the guy he most wanted to see.

Providers prospective - I was in China and went to a market and there was this white guy who was bartering for a trinket. He had the trinket in one hand and was waving the money above the girls head to make her jump up to catch it in order to complete the sale, pulling it higher every time she jumped up. This is what you are doing to these providers by reaching out to play with them and make them dance for your enjoyment with no intention to hire. Just reach out to the one you like the best. (it is different if you reach out and you don't like the way the provider replies and move on - but toying with both when you are only going to hire one is typical time waster behavior)

as many do - when I first started I charged slightly below market rate, you need time to build up confidence, get some reviews under your belt and then you can start charging market rate. Clients are typically wary of new guys - it's a gamble to see them as opposed to someone with established presence. It sounds very normal to me.

Awful thing to have happen. But you did send a deposit to someone who has been on rentmen for only a few weeks, only one review, and only one photo. He also has only three words on his profile. Only send deposits to people who are - well reviewed both here and on rentmen, and only send a small deposit. Simple rules if you think with your big head and not with your little one. No need for him to steal from you though, but this was somewhat foreseeable.

I love this!

I have been taken to 3 Michelin star restaurants and I have been taken to Applebbes. If you have the ability to go somewhere nice, the provider will for sure appreciate it. Is it required? No.

the amount of times I have left my poppers, my lube, my condoms, my hat, my sunglasses. I don't do drugs but honestly - not everything is a fucking conspiracy guys. People forget things.

how do you expect them to make a profit?

read the pushback i got here on this thread when i explained that it is decent courtesy to wash thoroughly before a session..... I have had experience with people who have no idea, but was genuinely shocked that some people just don't seem to care or worse feel entitled to show up dirty adn expect an intimate experience.

I am shocked by the accuracy of the comments on this thread! Big round of applause to @Becket who could not have been on the money if he tried. Perfect answer. It is bang on correct. Everything he has said is gospel. It is rare to get better advice online than he has given you here. A lot of providers inflate how much they are making, or they are honest about a really good week/month and then pretend that is the standard. Guys who make the big big money are mostly in porn/twitter/OF because they can charge a really high fee- and everyone else who make that sort of money work their tails off.

outcalls can be a drain for a number of reasons - having to walk into an unkonwn area, fake clients pranking, travel time just to name a few. But i think the title to this thread could be changed to : If the outcall rate is steep, do incall instead!