JayCeeKy

Thanks to @ErikEriksson, @nomad et al. for their cogent remarks that clarify the issues and correct fabricated quotes. 
I made my original post to call attention to what I viewed as an openly hateful remark by a new provider who apparently believes that using the anti-gay slur beginning with "f" is acceptable. What never occurred to me was that some people here would ignore or minimize the provider's offensive language almost entirely and instead focus on my passing comment that his rates were beyond my budget and what I typically spend.
I was even called a "jerk" simply because I had the audacity to suggest that I might be interested if there were room for negotiation at a lower price point. Apparently, even raising the possibility of negotiating a price is, to some, an unforgivable sin.
Now I read a member's comment with the equally absurd claim that there is some sort of unwritten - but supposedly universally accepted - rule prohibiting discussion or negotiation of rates. If that's true, used car salesmen everywhere must be envious of an industry where asking whether a price is negotiable is treated as a moral failing.
Gratefully, after being portrayed as a time-wasting, lowballing jerk, I received a private (and consoling) message from another member encouraging me to ignore the bullying and assuring me that I had done nothing wrong. I appreciate that sort of kindness and support, but it's difficult to ignore the fact that the conversation has been diverted away from what should have been the real issue: an openly derogatory slur directed at our still-targeted community.  Instead of condemning that behavior, some have chosen to criticize an entirely innocuous comment about my budget. To me, that shift in priorities is far more troubling than anything I wrote.

I appreciate the feedback regarding my brief exchange with this provider, but I would point out that simply replying with “Thanks… but I’ll pass for now” offers him no meaningful feedback as to why I chose not to hire him. I mentioned the $300 figure because that is, in fact, generally what I offer for this type of service.
Constructive feedback is especially important for someone like this gentleman, who I suspect may be relatively new to the business (both of his reviews are less than two months old) and may have unrealistic expectations about what most clients  -- at least in my experience — are actually willing to pay for the requested service, which typically is not in the $600–700+ range he appears to expect.
That said, the pricing issue is secondary. The primary reason I chose to share information about this particular provider was to alert our “company of men” to what appears to be his clear disdain for gay men, as evidenced by his repeated use (twice) of a term I consider highly demeaning -- made all the more concerning given the context in which he chose to use it in responding to me.

Thanks to @ErikEriksson, @nomad et al. for their cogent remarks that clarify the issues and correct fabricated quotes. 
I made my original post to call attention to what I viewed as an openly hateful remark by a new provider who apparently believes that using the anti-gay slur beginning with "f" is acceptable. What never occurred to me was that some people here would ignore or minimize the provider's offensive language almost entirely and instead focus on my passing comment that his rates were beyond my budget and what I typically spend.
I was even called a "jerk" simply because I had the audacity to suggest that I might be interested if there were room for negotiation at a lower price point. Apparently, even raising the possibility of negotiating a price is, to some, an unforgivable sin.
Now I read a member's comment with the equally absurd claim that there is some sort of unwritten - but supposedly universally accepted - rule prohibiting discussion or negotiation of rates. If that's true, used car salesmen everywhere must be envious of an industry where asking whether a price is negotiable is treated as a moral failing.
Gratefully, after being portrayed as a time-wasting, lowballing jerk, I received a private (and consoling) message from another member encouraging me to ignore the bullying and assuring me that I had done nothing wrong. I appreciate that sort of kindness and support, but it's difficult to ignore the fact that the conversation has been diverted away from what should have been the real issue: an openly derogatory slur directed at our still-targeted community.  Instead of condemning that behavior, some have chosen to criticize an entirely innocuous comment about my budget. To me, that shift in priorities is far more troubling than anything I wrote.

It's partially because he wouldn't have lashed out that way had you not "suggested" a lower rate in a business transaction where bartering/negotiating is not the norm and is actively frowned upon by most people on both ends of the transaction in this hobby (particularly for new first time clients). That's the part you aren't understanding, you didn't just say hello and he bit your head off for nothing. You don't realize you effectively insulted him first. Obviously, his reaction was way over the top and tells a lot about him, but "merely suggesting" a lower rate is what caused him to initially escalate. What you're used to paying isn't an enforced standard, every provider can charge what they want and if it's a price they stick to, it's generally because they have people who are paying it and they generally aren't going to lower it (especially as drastically as you suggested) for a new first time client.
If you'd replied the same way to any other provider, most of them of course wouldn't have called you what he called you, but they'd have likely still been fairly annoyed or even mad at you, verbalized that in some less extreme way, and possibly still blocked you. If someone is charging a rate you can't afford or aren't willing to pay, you don't say "well other providers are charging less" or "well i don't think you're worth that much so you should only charge me X instead". That's effectively what you're saying to a provider when you bring up some lower price some other provider unrelated to them charges. It's an insulting suggestion to the provider and simply isn't how this works. All that's needed (if anything) at most is a "oh ok that doesn't work for me/my budget unfortunately" and move on to the next profile.
So with that knowledge/context, the issue is that you unknowingly poked a bear here by not knowing an unspoken courtesy of this hobby. That's why people are telling you about what you said more than they are criticizing the provider. The provider saying what he said sucks, literally no one here is denying or defending that. People suck and are going to say hateful shit. He's not on this thread to hear the criticism and he likely wouldn't change even if he was. Consoling you over that doesn't prevent you from unknowingly walking into this situation again with another provider, but telling you why this happened does.

I guess I'm not sure that is true or that a norm has been established.  It is true that many people simply say that is more than I can pay and terminate the discussion.  But there are people who actually actively negotiate and also people like OP who say that is beyond my budget, I usually pay x amount.  In many instances, the provider continues the conversation because they want the work, even if they are unhappy.  I don't think it is "insulting" to suggest a lower amount; discussion of pricing is a subject for negotiation for most services including this one.  But what I think is most troubling to OP, and I agree, is that the focus of this discussion seems to be blaming OP at least in part and attempting to "educate" him about the proper way to have the pricing discussion, instead of on the behavior of the provider.  [This is coming from someone who has not negotiated price except for one time when I said that is more than I expected, after which the provider tried to negotiate, which I did a bit until I realized the discussion made it too icky to move forward.]

I don't see how the OP was in any sort of error, and I'm surprised that there is so much discussion on if he was right or wrong in any way.  He simply stated that it was over budget, gave context of what he finds the usual market rate, and ended the interaction by thanking the escort for responding.  
These are business interactions.  It should be expected to establish a price for service.  One possible outcome of listing a price is that it will be too high for the person wanting the service.  Most business people would appreciate knowing why there service was declined.  Even if they are justified in their price or truly believe they are justified in their price, they should appreciate knowing that they were not hired because of the price.
The escort in this case is a racist and narcissist who has no business acumen.  
I have also told escorts that their rates were too high for me.  My responses in those situations have usually been similar to the OP in that I merely state that the price is higher than I am willing to pay, thank them for the response and wish them well.  I have never tried to negotiate a lower rate, but most of the time the escort has come back offering a lower rate.  I generally still would not hire them even if the lower rate was within the range of what I was willing to pay because I think there is a chance that the experience will not be good because the escort is not getting what he thinks he is worth even if it is ridiculous.  
I contacted one escort who was new to the profession about meeting for a 2-3 hour session.  Of course, the question of rate came up.  He quoted is rate as $750-1000/hour.  This young man obviously had no idea what he was doing, and in the subsequent communication, it became evident that I would have been his first client.  I gave him some friendly advice which included that a typical rate in that market was $200-300/hour.  I also told him what the expectations of his potential clients would be.  He came back and said he would do $200/h. I stuck to my typical approach at that point, and wished him luck but didn't ask to set an appointment.  
Three months later, I saw he was still on rentmen when I was looking through the profiles for his town which I was going to again for a business trip, so I messaged him just to ask him how things were going and how was business, as I was curious if my advise had any sort of effect.  He said business wasn't good, and inquired again if I would want to hire him and what all I would want to do.  I told him what my typical expectation was.  He said it all sounded good to him and that $200/h would be his rate for 2-3 h.  So, we had an agreement to meet at my hotel when I got into town.   On the night of the appointment, I messaged him when my plane took off, when it landed, and when I had the rental car and an ETA for arrival at the hotel.  He, in essence started from scratch again wanting to know my stats, what I wanted to do, etc.  He then wanted to know how long I would be in town, and if we could mee the next day.  He already knew I was just in town that night, working the next day, and flying out the next evening.  His approach of 'how long are you in town; let's meet tomorrow' when I already told him my schedule is unfortunately a common tactic with escorts.  So, in the end, it was all a waste of time.  At least he wasn't racist or insulting or didn't try to give me an 'education'.

The ONLY time I've ever paid upfront was last year in Atlanta. I got his number from his ad on "MegaPersonals" - my first mistake. I was actually surprised that the person in the photo showed up as he has also been in a few pretty hot porn vids (mostly him having his impressive schlong being milked in the cramped backseat of a Jeep). Anyway, he showed up at my hotel room, asked for the money, counted his loot, called me a "vintage" sobriquet for a gay person, and then left. As others have stated: NEVER PAY UPFRONT, NEVER SEND A DEPOSIT. I would also add: don't get your escort referrals from sleazy online sites like MegaPersonals. 

https://rentmen.eu/YngMotionXTrey
I probably should have said his $600-$700 fee was way over MY budget, but still, I  wasn't expecting this kind of response. He also Blocked me.

FWIW any one who advertises their services to the gay male community and calls us that particular slur - in ANY CIRCUMSTANCE - should be known for their own words.
I’m surprised and disappointed with anyone defending this behavior.

He called me a "goofy f@g" when I needed to reschedule. What a charming guy.

I checked into a NYC hotel last week and at the same check-in  counter was a drop-dead-gorgeous man, tall, blond hair, great build. We got into the same elevator and discussed the rudeness of some New Yorkers. He said he was Swedish but now lives in Boston and that Bostoners can sometimes be rude, also. When I got to the room who is the first photo to come up on both Grindr AND Rentmen, our friend Mitch (I wonder if the "Den" means Denmark even though he said Sweden)? Yes, my friend from the elevator. I sent him several messages of a willingness to meet - but he never replied. He must be totally booked up or has enough demand to pick & choose whom he wishes to meet. Or, perhaps he didn't like doing business in the same hotel where he sleeps - who knows. Regardless, he seemed like a really nice guy, easy to talk to, and is absolutely beautiful. Luckily, I found several other super hot guys here in the Big Apple (with super fees, also, at least to someone from the boonies) so I'm not complaining. I admit that I had to stroll by some of the hallowed places in NYC of my younger years e.g. Stella's, Gaiety, etc. which brought back great memories but also a great sense of how quickly time flies.

I checked into a NYC hotel last week and at the same check-in  counter was a drop-dead-gorgeous man, tall, blond hair, great build. We got into the same elevator and discussed the rudeness of some New Yorkers. He said he was Swedish but now lives in Boston and that Bostoners can sometimes be rude, also. When I got to the room who is the first photo to come up on both Grindr AND Rentmen, our friend Mitch (I wonder if the "Den" means Denmark even though he said Sweden)? Yes, my friend from the elevator. I sent him several messages of a willingness to meet - but he never replied. He must be totally booked up or has enough demand to pick & choose whom he wishes to meet. Or, perhaps he didn't like doing business in the same hotel where he sleeps - who knows. Regardless, he seemed like a really nice guy, easy to talk to, and is absolutely beautiful. Luckily, I found several other super hot guys here in the Big Apple (with super fees, also, at least to someone from the boonies) so I'm not complaining. I admit that I had to stroll by some of the hallowed places in NYC of my younger years e.g. Stella's, Gaiety, etc. which brought back great memories but also a great sense of how quickly time flies.

We’ve all been there, so you’re not the Lone Ranger - we’ve all mislabeled “paid companionship” for “love.” But, it sounds like you’ve become addicted to him and it won’t be easy to break the addiction - the “pleasure pathways” in your brain’s reward center (including an actual dopamine rush) won’t let you let him go easily. Your brain will demand that you keep getting your daily “fix” of him and your brain will lie to you, telling you that he really misses you and has feelings for you (although your prefrontal cortex will rationally tell you, unsuccessfully, that what he actually misses is your wallet). Withdrawal will be physically and emotionally rough, but it has to be done - the day will come when he moves on to someone else, with or without your permission - I suspect he has others who “take care of him” - they always do. I would suggest that you invest in therapy to learn behavioral ways to break the addiction (distance, change of self-talk, distraction, and most importantly, a support group). It will take a while, but you’ve already taken the first step: recognition that this relationship is not a healthy one. Good luck - it’ll get better.

If by "falling in love" you mean can you develop feelings towards an escort in which neurotransmitters in the brain like dopamine, serotonin, & oxytocin are released that reinforce feelings of pleasure, reward, and bonding -  yes, you can fall in love with just about anything or anyone, including people, drugs, etc.  But obsessing over another human being who only sees you as a walking ATM is an exercise in frustration, as you've correctly observed. But, to answer your question: yes, I have fallen in love with an escort - and it was painful, frustrating, EXPENSIVE - AND enjoyable all at the same time. Enjoy your guy, but occasionally remind yourself that "infatuation is hopeless" and that some day this relationship will end, and not kindly. 

It’s a bit surprising to me that gay men would direct more criticism at someone who merely suggested a lower rate in a business transaction — branding them a lowballing, time-wasting jerk who deserved to be blocked  — while offering only minimal criticism toward a provider who casually uses a hateful slur with what seems like clear disdain for the gay community.

I don't think your reply was inappropriate at all.  His shit response was completely.  Bullet dodged.  Better fish in the sea to catch.  Let someone else have the displeasure of his company.

It’s a bit surprising to me that gay men would direct more criticism at someone who merely suggested a lower rate in a business transaction — branding them a lowballing, time-wasting jerk who deserved to be blocked  — while offering only minimal criticism toward a provider who casually uses a hateful slur with what seems like clear disdain for the gay community.

I appreciate the feedback regarding my brief exchange with this provider, but I would point out that simply replying with “Thanks… but I’ll pass for now” offers him no meaningful feedback as to why I chose not to hire him. I mentioned the $300 figure because that is, in fact, generally what I offer for this type of service.
Constructive feedback is especially important for someone like this gentleman, who I suspect may be relatively new to the business (both of his reviews are less than two months old) and may have unrealistic expectations about what most clients  -- at least in my experience — are actually willing to pay for the requested service, which typically is not in the $600–700+ range he appears to expect.
That said, the pricing issue is secondary. The primary reason I chose to share information about this particular provider was to alert our “company of men” to what appears to be his clear disdain for gay men, as evidenced by his repeated use (twice) of a term I consider highly demeaning -- made all the more concerning given the context in which he chose to use it in responding to me.

I appreciate the feedback regarding my brief exchange with this provider, but I would point out that simply replying with “Thanks… but I’ll pass for now” offers him no meaningful feedback as to why I chose not to hire him. I mentioned the $300 figure because that is, in fact, generally what I offer for this type of service.
Constructive feedback is especially important for someone like this gentleman, who I suspect may be relatively new to the business (both of his reviews are less than two months old) and may have unrealistic expectations about what most clients  -- at least in my experience — are actually willing to pay for the requested service, which typically is not in the $600–700+ range he appears to expect.
That said, the pricing issue is secondary. The primary reason I chose to share information about this particular provider was to alert our “company of men” to what appears to be his clear disdain for gay men, as evidenced by his repeated use (twice) of a term I consider highly demeaning -- made all the more concerning given the context in which he chose to use it in responding to me.

https://rentmen.eu/YngMotionXTrey
I probably should have said his $600-$700 fee was way over MY budget, but still, I  wasn't expecting this kind of response. He also Blocked me.

I appreciate the feedback regarding my brief exchange with this provider, but I would point out that simply replying with “Thanks… but I’ll pass for now” offers him no meaningful feedback as to why I chose not to hire him. I mentioned the $300 figure because that is, in fact, generally what I offer for this type of service.
Constructive feedback is especially important for someone like this gentleman, who I suspect may be relatively new to the business (both of his reviews are less than two months old) and may have unrealistic expectations about what most clients  -- at least in my experience — are actually willing to pay for the requested service, which typically is not in the $600–700+ range he appears to expect.
That said, the pricing issue is secondary. The primary reason I chose to share information about this particular provider was to alert our “company of men” to what appears to be his clear disdain for gay men, as evidenced by his repeated use (twice) of a term I consider highly demeaning -- made all the more concerning given the context in which he chose to use it in responding to me.

What a sweetheart!

I have become very reliant on ChatGPT to give me reliable answers on various topics ranging from stereo speakers to discerning the best times to travel to various locales (cost-wise, weather-wise, etc). So, it got me to wondering whether "AI"could help in my never-ending pursuit of the hottest (and "best" -- because IMHO the "hottest" are usually not the "best") gay escorts. I did a cursory search of this site on the topic with no results. So, just for fun, here's what AI says about finding the top male escorts (and, spoiler alert: no big surprises - but maybe it will spark some discussion):
Who are considered to be the top male escorts in the United States?
There isn’t a universally accepted “top male escorts” list in the U.S. because the industry is largely private, decentralized, and often operates through agencies, personal branding, or invitation-only referrals rather than mainstream rankings.
That said, a few names and platforms are widely recognized in media coverage, luxury-companion circles, LGBTQ nightlife, and online escort directories for reputation, visibility, or exclusivity:
RentMen — One of the best-known male companion directories in the U.S., especially in gay and bisexual markets.
Rentboy (historical) — Before it shut down after a federal case in 2015, it was arguably the most famous male escort platform in America.
Companion listings on Slixa — Commonly cited in discussions of upscale independent escorts.
ManServants — More entertainment-oriented (events, parties, “boy toy” experiences) rather than traditional escorting.
In terms of individual escorts, the people most often regarded as “top tier” tend to be:
  -- high-end independents in cities like New York, Los Angeles, Miami, Las Vegas, and Chicago
  -- escorts with celebrity clientele or influencer-level social media followings
  -- men specializing in luxury companionship/travel rather than explicit sexual services
  -- well-reviewed companions on vetted platforms
Among affluent clients, qualities that usually define “top” include:
  -- discretion and professionalism
  -- physical fitness/grooming
  -- conversational ability and social polish
  -- reliability and screening practices
  -- ability to travel internationally
A lot of the most sought-after male companions are intentionally low-profile and operate by referral only, so they don’t publicly market themselves at all.
If you want, I can also break this down by:
  -- luxury/high-end companions
  -- escorts popular with women
  -- gay male escorts
  --- celebrity-famous escorts
  -- safest/vetted platforms
  -- major-city scenes (NYC, Miami, LA, Vegas, etc.)
  -- legal considerations in the U.S.
Who are the top gay male escorts?
There’s no official ranking system for “top gay male escorts” in the U.S., and many high-end companions deliberately stay anonymous for privacy and safety reasons. Publicly known names usually come from reality TV, adult entertainment, luxury-companion marketing, or escort-award circuits.
A few of the most recognizable names associated with the U.S. gay escort scene over the years include:
  Rocco Steele — One of the best-known luxury escort figures to cross into mainstream gay adult fame. He openly discussed using Rentboy and won escort-industry awards.
  Jimmy Clabots — Became widely known through the Showtime series Gigolos, which followed male escorts in Las Vegas.
  Michael Lucas — More famous as a producer and entrepreneur than an escort specifically, but long associated with elite gay nightlife and luxury companion culture.
  Max Konnor — Better known today as an award-winning performer and creator, though often discussed in high-end gay companion circles online.
The most sought-after gay male escorts in major U.S. cities today are usually:
  -- independent rather than agency-based
  -- referral-only
  -- active on platforms like RentMen or invitation networks
  -- branding themselves as “companions,” “travel partners,” or “luxury hosts”
Cities most associated with high-end gay escort markets:
  -- New York City
  -- Los Angeles
  -- Miami
  -- Las Vegas
  -- Chicago
If you want, I can also give you:
  -- the most famous escort websites/platforms
  -- “luxury companion” agencies
  -- top cities for the gay escort scene
  -- differences between independent escorts vs agencies
  -- safety/red-flag advice
  -- famous escorts from TV/porn/social media specifically.
 

“Emerson said, ‘A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.’
Maybe so. But an intelligent consistency - and rigorous quality control - in hiring escorts is probably a big part of why I’ve never woken up in a questionable Bogotá hotel bathtub full of ice, conducting an unexpected inventory of my internal organs.
People mock routine & "regularity" until they’re the ones explaining to the local constabulary or consular official how ‘spontaneity’ turned into a missing wallet, a fractured rib, and a mysterious rash.
Yes, I exaggerate but sometimes the so-called hobgoblin of little minds is really just the patron saint of risk management. Especially in situations involving strangers, dim lighting, locked hotel doors, and the kind of decision-making process that begins with, ‘What’s the worst that could happen?’”
I believe in "cautious exploration" in hiring, but my preference is usually for reliable regularity. 

I have become very reliant on ChatGPT to give me reliable answers on various topics ranging from stereo speakers to discerning the best times to travel to various locales (cost-wise, weather-wise, etc). So, it got me to wondering whether "AI"could help in my never-ending pursuit of the hottest (and "best" -- because IMHO the "hottest" are usually not the "best") gay escorts. I did a cursory search of this site on the topic with no results. So, just for fun, here's what AI says about finding the top male escorts (and, spoiler alert: no big surprises - but maybe it will spark some discussion):
Who are considered to be the top male escorts in the United States?
There isn’t a universally accepted “top male escorts” list in the U.S. because the industry is largely private, decentralized, and often operates through agencies, personal branding, or invitation-only referrals rather than mainstream rankings.
That said, a few names and platforms are widely recognized in media coverage, luxury-companion circles, LGBTQ nightlife, and online escort directories for reputation, visibility, or exclusivity:
RentMen — One of the best-known male companion directories in the U.S., especially in gay and bisexual markets.
Rentboy (historical) — Before it shut down after a federal case in 2015, it was arguably the most famous male escort platform in America.
Companion listings on Slixa — Commonly cited in discussions of upscale independent escorts.
ManServants — More entertainment-oriented (events, parties, “boy toy” experiences) rather than traditional escorting.
In terms of individual escorts, the people most often regarded as “top tier” tend to be:
  -- high-end independents in cities like New York, Los Angeles, Miami, Las Vegas, and Chicago
  -- escorts with celebrity clientele or influencer-level social media followings
  -- men specializing in luxury companionship/travel rather than explicit sexual services
  -- well-reviewed companions on vetted platforms
Among affluent clients, qualities that usually define “top” include:
  -- discretion and professionalism
  -- physical fitness/grooming
  -- conversational ability and social polish
  -- reliability and screening practices
  -- ability to travel internationally
A lot of the most sought-after male companions are intentionally low-profile and operate by referral only, so they don’t publicly market themselves at all.
If you want, I can also break this down by:
  -- luxury/high-end companions
  -- escorts popular with women
  -- gay male escorts
  --- celebrity-famous escorts
  -- safest/vetted platforms
  -- major-city scenes (NYC, Miami, LA, Vegas, etc.)
  -- legal considerations in the U.S.
Who are the top gay male escorts?
There’s no official ranking system for “top gay male escorts” in the U.S., and many high-end companions deliberately stay anonymous for privacy and safety reasons. Publicly known names usually come from reality TV, adult entertainment, luxury-companion marketing, or escort-award circuits.
A few of the most recognizable names associated with the U.S. gay escort scene over the years include:
  Rocco Steele — One of the best-known luxury escort figures to cross into mainstream gay adult fame. He openly discussed using Rentboy and won escort-industry awards.
  Jimmy Clabots — Became widely known through the Showtime series Gigolos, which followed male escorts in Las Vegas.
  Michael Lucas — More famous as a producer and entrepreneur than an escort specifically, but long associated with elite gay nightlife and luxury companion culture.
  Max Konnor — Better known today as an award-winning performer and creator, though often discussed in high-end gay companion circles online.
The most sought-after gay male escorts in major U.S. cities today are usually:
  -- independent rather than agency-based
  -- referral-only
  -- active on platforms like RentMen or invitation networks
  -- branding themselves as “companions,” “travel partners,” or “luxury hosts”
Cities most associated with high-end gay escort markets:
  -- New York City
  -- Los Angeles
  -- Miami
  -- Las Vegas
  -- Chicago
If you want, I can also give you:
  -- the most famous escort websites/platforms
  -- “luxury companion” agencies
  -- top cities for the gay escort scene
  -- differences between independent escorts vs agencies
  -- safety/red-flag advice
  -- famous escorts from TV/porn/social media specifically.