corndog

And, of all your words, the one that resonates is "elusive."

I've noticed quite a few traveling masseurs pop up in different cities where they've apparently never been to their "home city." I'm quite sure that I've never seen his ad in San Diego, and I suspect that he will disappear before he returns "home." I'm not sure what this is all about, but I think there is a red flag here.

Does anyone have any experience with Dante in San Diego?

Dante 858-284-7226

https://rent.men/loremipsum

http://sandiego.backpage.com/MenSeekMen/stranger-danger/31031428

But I see no harm in asking.. do you also escort?

I agree, at the appropriate time, there is nothing wrong with asking a masseur if they also escort. My point was that it is disrespectful to assume that they do.

Could you share if he was nude through out? Or just at the end?

He was nude throughout, and he seemed very open and generous with his body.

... Did you go to his place? Was parking ok and safe? If I'm not mistaken he's got an ad on rent men.

I had him come to my place, so I can't comment on his incall situation. I haven't been able to find his ad on rentmen, but I'd be interested in going further if that's an option. When I meet a masseur who obviously takes his work seriously, I'm hesitant to make the first move; it feels disrespectful to assume that a quality masseur is a sex worker.

I gave him a try... excellent massage, very friendly guy, definitely open to mutual touch, but I didn't get the "escort" vibe from him. I'll probably repeat.

I've had a couple of massages from him. In my experience, his shorts stay on. He's a nice guy, pretty good looking, and gives a decent therapeutic massage, but my hopes that it would get a little bit erotic were not fulfilled.

He also advertises here: https://www.masseurfinder.com/members/kylersandiego.shtml

Has anyone met this guy?

https://www.masseurfinder.com/members/lorenzocruz.shtml

The chances of getting HIV by topping bareback are very very slim. As long as you don't make his rectum bleed and don't scratch your penis skin, you are safe.

Although the risk of contracting HIV is significantly lower when topping, it is by no means low-risk. I respect that each of us must choose the level of risk that we're comfortable with, but I think that sharing this kind of unsupported misinformation is a great disservice to our community.

... Regardless of how common it is, I still believe that you should tell your partner that you have it. It can be HSV or ...

Really?

Do most of us even know whether we have HSV1? And, if you don't know, should you disclose that you "might?"

I presume that I have HSV1, since more than 90% of adults over 50 have been exposed to it. I've had cold sores before, but as the link I posted above states, "Oral herpes can be difficult to diagnose. Often confused with many other infections." And, STI testing protocols don't routinely test for HSV1. So, maybe I don't.

So, what, exactly, would you like me to say to potential sex partners? "By the way, I might have HSV1, but don't worry you probably do, too?" And then, watch them run? While I'm at it, should I ask them if they've had their flu shots, and whether their tetanus vaccinations are up to date? Or, if they've had a recent tuberculosis test?

Wait a second.

@Benjamin_Nicholas's post refers to HSV1. Is that really what all this fuss is about? HSV1 is the virus that causes oral herpes, and it is estimated that 50-80% of adults already carry this virus, and 90% of adults over 50 have been exposed to it. (http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/adult/infectious_diseases/Oral_Herpes_22,OralHerpes/) As I understand it, anyone who has ever had a cold sore is HSV1+.

It is also my understanding that current STI screening protocols don't even test for HSV1, because it's so common that it's presumed that most people are positive. So, I suppose we can argue about whether an escort needs to disclose their HIV status (I'm personally of the opinion that we should all assume that everyone we have sex with is HIV+ so it doesn't matter), but it seems like the original poster's comment, based on @Benjamin_Nicholas's twitter post, is about HSV1. Are we honestly expecting anyone who has ever had a cold sore to disclose "oh, by the way, I had a cold sore 6 or 7 years ago. I thought you should know." That's ridiculous.

...my message to you is that you ultimately are responsible for your own health.

This is really the only part that matters. Whether we choose condoms or PrEP, or both, each of us is responsible for our own sexual health.

Are there any that people would recommend in New Orleans?

I can't recommend New Orleans for its escort scene, but it's a great city for food, music, history, culture and fun. I've lived here for about 15 years, and there are definitely people who "get it" and fall head-over-heals for New Orleans' charm, and others who just "don't get it."

...And be wary of the bars in the French Quarter. Seedy characters are a plenty in those traps.

I'm proud to be one of those seedy characters that populate the bars in the French Quarter.

He is quite busy with school and other job and takes a bit to schedule him but omg is it worth it!!!! Just be patient

I agree with tennisjock on all points. I had some scheduling trouble with him, but I was VERY glad that I gave him another shot.

There's no need for me to quote the entire post, but LAdude424's analysis is spot-on. I'll add one more thing...

Often the crotch-brush-against-the-hand is the first signal form the masseur to the client that "yes, we can a do a bit more " and most of the time it proceeds to at least a happy ending for me.

I think it's also worth noting that if a masseur isn't open to mutual touch, they can very easily position themselves slightly out of easy reach. If your hands are resting on the table and the masseur "accidentally" brushes against them with his crotch, it is absolutely not an accident, it's an invitation.

Quite a while back, I had an (unpaid) one-night stand with a guy who was just passing through town. The circumstances were such that we were both totally clear that there was no future for us. However, for the few hours that we were together, we had an intense connection, sexually, as well as emotionally, as our senses of humor were perfectly synced and our pillow-talk was unusually candid. During that short period, there was no world outside of him, and I sensed that he was equally focused on me. Even in the moment, I knew that I was in love, but I knew that it would be over when I walked him to the door. I don't remember his name, or have any recollection of what he looked like, but I will never forget the time that I was "in love for five minutes." I cherish it.

...

Juan, I totally respect and appreciate your opinion. I don't agree with it, but I think it is well thought out and valid. This forum is at its best when we can have a healthy debate and yet disagree. And, by the way, if I could make it to Vancouver, you'd be my first priority.

I had trouble with the link... try this one: http://www.masseurfinder.com/members/muscleman.shtml

I think that this is the same guy: http://daddysreviews.com/search/All/marshal/marshall_sd and http://rentmen.com/Prican

He also escorts, and seems to charge $160/hr for massage and $250-300/hr for escorting. I'm never really comfortable with a situation like that because I never know exactly when I'm going to cross the line from massage to escorting, and it seems like it would be very uncomfortable to renegotiate a price in the middle of a session.

If you try him out, please let us know how it goes!

Yes, give all information especially when it can possibly affect your expectations.

I have a great deal of respect for your point of view, Juan, but in this case I respectfully disagree. In your example, where the extremely heavy guy expected you to carry him around, you're right: that's unrealistic. But the problem isn't that he failed to disclose his weight ahead of time, the problem is that he's expecting the impossible. He should be able to figure out that his expectation is unrealistic without you telling him.

However, once a client has made a first impression of low self esteem, it probably can't be undone, and several people here seem to agree with me that self confidence is sexy, and conversely, low self esteem is a turn-off. As long as the client isn't asking for activities that are impossible because of their physical condition, I don't think it's worth it to disclose so much that they risk coming off as a person with self confidence issues.

I think that your point about the risk of being rejected at the escort's door is an interesting one, too. Maybe I'm higher than I realize on the self-confidence scale, but if that happened to me, I'd be frustrated and somewhat disgusted by the escort's unprofessionalism, but I think I would blame them for their inappropriate judgementalism rather than take it personally. If an escort wants to refuse clients based on their size, age, race, hair color, etc., I'd rather they put that upfront in their ad. One former forum poster, Marc Dylan, was pretty upfront about the fact that he only wanted physically fit clients. Although it always seem to me disappointing, if he felt he was unable to perform with unattractive clients, I applaud him for being upfront about it.

And what if the client doesn't have a lot of self-confidence?

My advice: fake it. If you can manage to pretend that you're self confident, not only will others believe it, you'll start to believe it yourself.

There have been studies that have shown that when people smile -- even a fake smile -- they become happier.

I'm of the school that believes that the escort needn't be warned/informed. Two reasons:

1. As JD has pointed out, a quality, professional escort shouldn't care.

2. It is very difficult to tell an escort that you're overweight without coming across as having self confidence issues. I believe that while extra weight may be unattractive, low self confidence is 10 times more unattractive. If you walk into an escort appointment carrying yourself like you are the sexiest man alive, a good escort will pick up on that energy and roll with it. I'm not suggesting that you be cocky or arrogant, but just confident. On some level, I think we all expect an escort to do a little acting to make us feel sexier than perhaps we are; as clients, we can play the supporting role.

Well, I sent a direct message to "Matthieu" via Facebook and Instagram. "Alex" said he never received them and then asked me what profiles I was looking at? He said, "I guess you are looking at a different Matthieu", even though his profile pics match the ones on Matthieu's Facebook and Instagram page. Seems pretty whack to me.

Thanks for this explanation, and thanks for shining the light on a probable fake. I think that it is very helpful when we share our discoveries of fake ads.

I don't mean to pick a fight with you, in fact just the opposite, I commend you for sharing your research. However, are you aware that when you send a direct message to a Facebook user who is not your "friend," the message is buried deep and will probably never be seen, not even by someone who is actually looking for it? To find these messages, you have to go to Messages and then at the top of your "inbox" click "Other" and then sort through spam messages. I don't think most Facebook users ever check this, or know it exists. I'm not sure how it works with Instagram.

Yup, bonafide fake. Too bad.

Have you verified this? A while back I met up with "Angelo," who I discovered was a fitness model with quite an impressive portfolio scattered across the internet. I was skeptical, but he turned out to be the real deal. Sometimes, it happens.