FaustOust

If hiring someone for multiple days for travel, what should I expect in terms of time spent together, frequency of sex, etc.? Is it too much to ask him to be helpful in assisting with plans, baggage, or activities? Should we spend every moment together? How can I be assured that his attention during that time is only focused on me? I appreciate suggestions from both the provider and client perspectives.

I concur with the sentiment about Seamus. He was really good and I had a great time with him overnight. I didn’t have a problem with it, but he does enjoy his weed.

I had a good experience and look forward to hiring him again. Everything said here is true, although it seems he was more talkative in our time together.

My question was simply my question. It seems to have stirred only one person’s pot. The other responses were supportive and non-accusatory, and it is only @BenjaminNicholas who suggests that I reconsider the internet forum altogether. I am indeed new here, and have never been a member of this forum under another name. I appreciate @maninsomapointing that out. He took the opportunity to be kind. I do find the tone of @BenjaminNicholas ‘s response to my inquiry unintentionally informative on the substance of my question. While there may not be a collaboration regarding providers and CoM regarding critical content, there is at least one provider/member who has the need to rule the roost on the matter. And to demonstrate that there is no guile here, I will reconsider whether I post in these forums in the future.

I don’t think you are able to speak to my intentions, @BenjaminNicholas. All you have is what I wrote. No ulterior motive here, but simply a question based upon an observation, right or wrong. I’m sorry if you were offended by my post or the suggestion that certain providers do not appear to be readily reviewed or criticized. But even if you feel that your reputation entitles you to it, or you have somehow earned a right not to be “pollyanna on a constant basis,” you will never be entitled to or earn the right to bully me. I simply shared an honest question that it appears you did not even want to have been raised.

I am still relatively new here so I hope I can ask the questions from an outsiders perspective, which may seem obvious to others. I wondered why there are providers who participate very heavily on this site, yet they are not reviewed here? And many who rarely participate are reviewed. Are certain people here are off limits? It makes me question whether there is a collaboration between COM and certain providers or whether the site is actually governed by providers who frequent the forums? It seems there are some who are “in” and therefore immune from criticism, and those who are “not in” who are fair game. Would anyone here feel comfortable sharing a bad experience on this site with one of the frequently contributing providers without backlash?

However, is there a word that identifies you as someone who obviously comes from a Chicago Italian neighborhood and do most people hear that word as complimentary? I don’t think so.

Not necessarily, but you referring to him as “ghetto” in this forum might very well make you a horrible person.

This is the converse of the OP’s question, but I am curious what providers and clients think about a PROVIDER who does not offer a clear face pic. This seems to be a common practice to one degree or another. Some providers may only do so once they have determined that a potential client is serious or confirmed, others will not do it at all. I see so many RM profiles of just body and dick pics or pics with blurred faces. I assume it is because some providers do not want the public to know the line of work they are in, but as a potential client it is rare that I hire someone whose face I have not seen, even though I would not share a picture of myself.

Wow. That was pretty harsh.

He is quite beautiful -with flawless skin on every inch of his body, not even a blemish anywhere. (I don’t know why I noticed, as quality of skincare is not usually something I evaluate, but his was quite striking to me at the time.) Absolutely stunning perfect body, just like his pictures, great kisser. Has a thick Spanish accent, but not a problem because we didn’t talk much. Highly recommend.

The magician analogy proves the underlying truth about manipulation (which I imagine the providers here will not admit to.) I dare say that, if he is trying to keep the client as a regular BFE, the provider WANTS the client to fall for him and have feelings but only enough to keep coming back. It’s unfortunate when the client is then blamed for being susceptible to the “magic” and goes past the boundary set by the escort, as some here have implied. Luring a client close to that boundary, perhaps even perilously so, appears to have been the whole intention of the provider all along. Also, it seems that falling in love is presented here as a weakness of clients alone — a one way street — and providers are somehow above being burdened by such human frailty. I am curious to know if a provider would ever admit to loving a client.

A roadblock is by its very nature awkward. It forces you to diverge from an established path or remove it. I imagine an “unawkward roadblock” would have to be more than averting an unwanted pass, as your response suggests. It seems to me that what the “wise” provider, as @BenjaminNicholas calls him, who finds himself in this situation should do is either have an honest discussion about his client’s feelings or drop the client. To do otherwise seems like a manipulation to lead on the client just far enough for him to remain a client while somehow thwarting him from pursuing or desiring a personal relationship outside of client/provider. I just don’t think people should be manipulated in that way, particularly if one has made himself so vulnerable by sharing the true nature of his affection for his provider.

And what does a “non-awkward relationship roadblock” look like? It sounds like a means of prolonging a provider-client relationship by manipulating the client. If so, how does that benefit the client?

I will preface my comment with the fact that I am new to this forum and what I have read in my short time here might not be representative of the dialogue that has happened historically. However, it seems to me, although not from everyone, that there is a fair number of providers complaining about clients or would-be clients and a fair amount of clients complaining about providers, even if they never hired the individual, and sometimes appearing rather mean to an outsider. Sometimes otherwise helpful advice is delivered in a tone that suggests chastisement and sarcasm. I sense ancient feuds, obscured sensitivities, and unhealed wounds; it appears that people in the forums are triggered by a history unknown to me. Maybe I am just naive to think that we should be a community of gay men who can treat each other with dignity and respect, regardless of what our differences may be. At the risk of inviting snark to come out of the woodwork with this post, can’t we all just get along?

Difficult to schedule but to me he was truly amazing. The absolute best.

Do you think a regular client-provider scenario can be a type of relationship? By comparison, although I’m in a completely different line of work, I have clients and I think about them all the time as I must look out for their best interests, not just when I see them or when they call me for something. I always feel as if I am cultivating a relationship. When I see or read something that may be of interest or concern, I inform them. I may sometimes inquire how they are doing or send cards at holidays, birthdays, etc. I am acquainted with some of their likes and dislikes. I am often in social settings with them or even their families. So it’s never an out-of-sight out of mind transaction. Wouldn’t it be beneficial to a provider to think the same way?

How does one know if an OF creator or porn actor is also available for hire? Should you contact them through OF or social media or is the industry all on RM?

Other than being hygienic, on time, and not haggling over his fee, what can I as a client do to make my experience with a provider as pleasant and easy as possible for the provider, so that he would welcome me as a repeat client, particularly in overnight or multi-day engagements?

Thank you. I guess I should realize that for them it is likely only about the benjamin$ and just try to enjoy what I am paying for.

Should I be concerned about a provider who has lied about his reason for being late, shaved a few years off his age, or modified some details about his background, but otherwise provided a good experience? While I think that each of us is entitled to a little bit of reinvention as life progresses, and in this case I assume the lies were designed to help build my positive impression of him, I am more concerned about the untruths around the delay/logistics of our meeting. In other aspects of my life, I have followed the principle that if someone is deceptive about small things, chances are they will be deceptive about the big or important things, too. Should that standard apply here when, if you actually think about it, the whole transaction is based upon a sort of deception? Nonetheless, I think that I have to be able to trust a provider, a stranger whom I have literally invited into an intimate space of my life, and the little white lies worry me, even when the overall experience was good. How should I respond?

Does a good connection during a boyfriend experience have to have any basis in reality or are good providers just good actors involved in a monetary transaction? Should I even care whether he is acting? I’m newer at this and don’t want to appear foolish.