FaustOust

But how will I ever know whether I am cheap and annoying?! But on the other hand, clients, unlike escorts, are usually not advertising and actually most would prefer that people not know they are using the services of an escort, who likely has advertised his availability. I don’t think one can expect that a client should be as thick-skinned about inaccurate information or wild gossip when they have not put themselves out there in the same way a provider has in order to do business. The client is actually expecting discretion and anonymity, where I would think the escort would want to be as well-known as possible to attract business. With that fame comes certain risks, which the escort calculates will pay off in the long run if they provide good service, I imagine. I, and I reckon most clients, want to avoid fame or attention for hiring escorts.

I don’t want to give the impression that I have fallen in love with this man. I do not want to be in a romantic relationship with him, even if it were possible, nor do I think that would work for us if it were. (I don’t think I’d want a traditional romance with anyone right now.) However, I did think one could be friendly with an escort, especially one with whom so much time has been spent and with whom spending more time in the future was intended. Granted he was and would be compensated for that time, but it would seem from his perspective that being friendly with his client would just make good business sense. It has for me in my professional life. But I recognize my profession is different and apparently in escorting it’s easy to blur lines because of the nature of the work. Limiting communications to discrete transactions just seems odd, however, I have to admit. But I may have to do that to stop having my feelings hurt. The transactional-ness and compartmentalisation of hiring seems to be an armour of protection necessary for people who to pay for companionship, sex, and intimacy.

Thank you for helping me navigate this. So many rules to learn!

I guess it only matters to the extent that I thought I was a good judge of people and I may not be now. I had hoped to see him again. But maybe someone else could fill the job just as well if he didn’t have a good time too.

I recently hired a guy to go away on vacation with me whom I had seen several times before. Lots of communication up until the trip, which was the most time we had spent together, and it seemed like a pleasurable time for both of us, and we agreed to do it again some time. However, afterwards in the several times I’ve reached out since then in a friendly manner, communication has been more distant than before the trip, with polite, but terse, and often slow responses until now no response at all. I wonder if I have misread his willingness and seeming encouragement to communicate between our times together. Should my only communication with a regular escort be to arrange time together and otherwise be silent? If I had been told that, I would respect that wish, realizing he’s not “on the clock,” but I now fear I have misread his friendliness and shouldn’t have responded in kind. Was it just to get some business? Or is the distancing a signal that he does not want me to hire him again? I am now questioning my judgment in what I thought was a beautiful time together and had hoped to do again. I am combing through it looking for signs that he was having an awful time with me to explain the distance towards me now. I would hate if it were something I had done.

I doubt that she sat and calculated to “make race the issue” to get more support. She would know that raising issues of racial bias rarely wins more support in and of itself, particularly from those in power who may not have a history of being subject to racial bias in a negative way. Whether right or wrong in this particular circumstance, she is more likely speaking from the perspective and context of her own lived experience, where race was made the issue for her regardless of her intentions or her desires otherwise.

Ummm. I’ll have what she’s having…

I recognize that many providers take their work to provide their clients with pleasure quite seriously, even if it is at the expense of their own enjoyment. I also recognize that some providers may be exceptional at finding some quality, physical or otherwise, in just about anyone that can be arousing enough for them to “do their job.” However, I believe that for most people, part of the enjoyment of physical intimacy is that while you are receiving pleasure, you are also giving pleasure; that the erotic and physical connection is indeed a connection, and therefore by definition mutual and flowing both ways. Otherwise, it seems to me that you are just using another person as a masturbatory tool, which in some cases may be sufficient for either or both parties, but it is not the same experience. And to suggest, as some have, that there is no reason to be concerned with the mutuality of the experience is asking us to deny a very human desire. I have had a variety of experiences with different providers - some of those experiences were definitely better or worse than others — even those with the same person have varied. And I suspect that some of the better “performances” may have been just that — performances and fake. (I know I got at least one fake orgasm and one critique on my own performance as seeming “inexperienced,” as I struggled at bit to take him. I am far from a virgin, and I did know to eschew the apocryphal advice that Queen Victoria is said to have given to her daughter to “lie still and think of England”, but admittedly I have less sex than most who do so for a living, so the relative truth of it killed that moment brutally. But I digress). I bristle at the implication that somehow we clients are too obtuse to ever know if someone is turned off and acting to cover it up. I might be okay with that in the moment, but I don’t think it’s because I am unable to tell the difference but rather because I choose to ignore it, suspend my disbelief, and enjoy a good show.

Maybe it’s a clandestine signal to someone, like in a spy movie. Something like “whenever I post about being a pig, you will know that the bacon will be dropped off in 24 hours.”

Why do you think your clients are unable to tell that you are not enjoying something? It seems you can tell whether they are enjoying themselves, why can’t they discern the same?

Says a man who has no adult memory of 1984. Many of us are well aware it is not 1984 and need no reminding because we survived it.

I recently saw Robert on RM and contacted him via WhatsApp. Without asking, I was quoted $4K for the evening or $1K per hour otherwise and told I could use a credit card. I became suspicious and I quickly learned that I was not chatting with him but with an intermediary who was responding to his messages. When I asked further, whoever was texting me said that they were with an “agency” who had many clients. I didn’t think that agencies existed anymore for men, and I ended the chat because I suspected that the whole ad might have been fake and a scam. Am I wrong about that or are high-end escorts really affiliated with agencies or using them to respond to ad enquiries? Is that how this guy truly operates?

Has anyone ever found a new client through this forum or made a contact that resulted in a new hire here?

*fazed

At the time it was $450. But essentially, yes. He was positioned in such a way that it was clear that was all he would let me do, but my mouth was all over — just not on his dick.

I saw him once about a year ago. He is physically awesome, but I did not find him to be that interactive. No sex, just worship. —which is fine but not what I wanted in the end. I would go back if I thought I could at least suck him off too.

Is it customary for providers to charge different clients different rates for the same period of time or activity, as opposed to one set rate scale or menu applicable to all clients?

I am thinking about hiring this gentlemen. Has anyone had experience with this tall drink of water? http://rent.men/tallcroatian

Is it considered inappropriate to discuss with a provider that I see regularly my experiences with another escort I may see or one I have met in the past? I would think the reverse of this — a provider revealing clients to other clients — would not be right (although I imagine it happens.) Do providers share client identities with one another, perhaps as part of “shop talk?”

Last year after some suspicions, I did a reverse image search on his photos since they all didn’t appear to be the same person; I was correct. I asked him about that and he refused to see me since I didn’t trust him.

How did you realize that you have an addiction? And how does an escort know his client is an “addict”?

Once a provider told me after sex that “I seemed inexperienced.” I felt REALLY bad after that remark (particularly because I don’t think it would be true by most people’s standards, but maybe so compared to him.) The unsolicited comment was in a cheerful tone and maybe just slipped out, but regardless of the tone, I don’t know what saying that to me at that time was intended to accomplish.

I overcame self loathing a long, long time ago. Like so many others, I have had good experiences with escorts, but I don’t have to hate myself to have had enough bad or so-so experiences to know that not every provider I’ve been with respects me or is worthy of my trust. My question is not born out of negativity as much as it is seeking counsel for realistic discernment from those who may have had more experience than I. I think that to be wise in any endeavor.

How do you come to trust a provider whom you hire regularly or for extended periods of time? Don’t most of them, even reputable escorts, at some level, look down on clients and see us just as ATMs? How do you know if you’ve found an exception?

This is not our first meeting at all but would certainly be the longest. There has been much discussion here about overnights, which we have done, however I am asking about more detailed provider and client experiences over a longer period of time.