BasketBaller

About a week after the June email I mentioned above was sent, I got a response saying he was sorry, he'd been sick and hadn't checked his messages. So I asked about setting up a meeting... and never heard back.

Growing up as a Navy dependent, I of course had free medical care until I turned 21. It's not related to this thread since neither of us had a boner and I don't even remember what he looked like, but let me say being a 20 year-old college student having blood drawn by an 18 year-old corpsman who told me after multiple tries that I was the first person he had done it to without supervision is a "special" memory. Ouch.

A Report on Week One of Home Alone-- I'm doing fine, adjusting, making discoveries of aspects of this I hadn't expected, to wit-- Plus- My grocery bill has plummeted. Minus- It takes longer to shop since I keep having to go back to shelves and replacing packages that are too large for one person. (I did not intend the double entendre of "packages too large for one person," but I'll let it stand.) I can't believe how little milk has been used in a week! Plus- There is less cooking to do, less laundry, less ironing. Minus-- We used to take turns, so while there's less, I have to do it ALL! Plus- I find everything where I left it. Minus- That's fine when it's a book, not so much when it's dishes in the sink. Plus- I can have whatever I want at meals, taking only my preferences in mind. Minus- I eat it alone. Plus- There is plenty of hot water, I can take a shower as long as I want. Minus- I never realized it before, but the sound of the shower running was a constant in the morning. That's a time when the place has become too quiet. Plus- I can stay out as long as I want, no one will worry or need me to be someplace at a certain time. Minus- I'm sometimes at loose ends, with nothing much to do. Plus- I get calls and texts at odd times from the boys, and skyped on the weekend with two (Plebe twin can't skype yet). Minus- There's no minus in that. Plus- I am working out a lot, alternating between gym and pool, to occupy my time. At this rate I'll be in great shape soon. Minus- No real minus, except the boys often came to gym and pool with me, so it isn't really a distraction from the changes. Plus- My elderly neighbors, who adore the boys, invited me to dinner and let me gas on about them. Minus- I really should control the impulse to tell everyone what they're doing. But these two sweethearts, and their son who's moved in to care for them, didn't mind. Plus- I'm exploring gay/bi friendly social and sport groups and am resolved to try them out. Minus- No minus but I confess to being nervous. It feels the way I felt before I went to my high school freshman mixer-- will I dress right? Will I make a friend? Will it be obvious I am not used to this? Will any of the girls dance with me? (Okay, that was only at the freshman mixer, but you get the idea.) So, all in all, I'm surviving and even finding the humor in my inexperience at being on my own. Onward.

All true, I'll try not to assume anything. He's certainly never given any indication he recognized something in me, but then, why would he? As I've said, my own gaydar is apparently non-existent, maybe as a result of so strongly suppressing any interest in men as a teen and young adult. But I know some guys can "just tell," so that could be the case here. We'll find out later this fall, I think.

Yes, I know any discussions about this with family, especially her family, need to be sensitive and approached with care. He's a good guy, and I'll give plenty of thought to how I express this. I've got some time to think about it. As to him being attracted to me, well, that would be a surprise, but I guess I'll be surprising him, so he could spring something on me! I doubt it though, he's had a partner for some time and they seem happy together.

Great minds think alike! He will be in Washington later in the fall for business and will stay with me. It seems like fate, and so I think he'll be the first person (except for you guys) I open up to. It's interesting, in these first few days to think about the days after my wife's death, how the changes in my life were overshadowed by the need to take care of the boys. In a small way, I think I postponed some of the grieving and am experiencing it now. It's now I have to deal with the loss of someone to talk to, of someone to distract me, of someone to blame for dishes in the sink. This is the kindest thing that's been said to me among the many kindnesses I've had here. Thank you, friend. Aye, aye, Sir!

The guy being jacked off is Lee Ryder, and the film is Screenplay. When I started exploring vintage porn I loved Ryder, hung, lean, verbal. Then was saddened to learn he'd died early in the AIDS epidemic.

Yes two older brothers and an older sister, I'm the youngest. My wife was also the fourth in her family, with two older brothers (one of whom has been openly gay since college) and an older sister. We used to joke that we really ought to have a fourth child since if our parents hadn't, we wouldn't be here! The boys' generation is also mostly male, they have 12 cousins, 8 of whom are guys. My brothers are close in age, then there was a gap before my sister and then I came along. They were my heroes when I was little, and were a big part of inspiring me to play sports, although we each had a different choice. My oldest brother was a baseball player and is incredibly handsome, he could have been a model. My second brother was a wrestler and is, I say with affection, not really what you'd call good-looking. Not ugly, just sort of funny looking. But an absolute sweetheart. My wife's brothers, and her dad, are all taller than my family's men and it looks like the boys have inherited the height, my oldest is taller than me and the twins as tall and still growing.

That's an enlightened way of looking at it. I'm trying not to "carry on" and do what I've always done, only with no one else around. I'll try to start fresh and find what works best for me. But. I do hate eating alone.

Thank you, it's... going. I'm keeping busy and that helps. It's strange to have no one else in the house, as I posted earlier, I went from living with my parents and brothers, to college roommates, to my wife, to my wife and kids, to my kids, and never spent any appreciable time alone, except a few stretches of the boys at camp or visiting their mom's relatives. I think I'm subconsciously pretending they're gone for something like that and will be back in a week!

As I understand it, The Kauffman family bought the property with the intention of having a house built that was across from the waterfall, with it as a view. Wright upended that, building the house over the falls. The view of the house from where the Kauffmans expected it to be built is stunning, in the house and on the terraces, it's the sound of the falls that has an impact. http://arizonaexperience.org/sites/arizonaexperience.org/files/base_images/frank-lloyd-wright_fallingwater.jpg

That's my guess, too!

Thank you for asking, my friend. It's-- okay. But it's weird! I mentioned earlier that the last night at the hotel in NY was hard, and I had dreaded the drive back to DC. For some reason I thought that would be painful, but it really wasn't. I played music loud, sang along, and was home before I knew it. Walking into the house was a little emotional, but not tragic, I just didn't like it. My folks had invited me to dinner so I went there, and having been texted by each of my sons during the day, I got called by each of my brothers during the evening. I think they had conferred about me being alone and decided to keep me talking. At home it was quiet, and everything was where I had left it-- what a change, LOL! The only bad moment was waking up the next morning and blurrily thinking I needed to get the guys going, and then remembering. And eating alone is not fun. This is okay. I already miss them, of course, but to a normal degree. I worked today, and worked out before coming home, and that helped. I have no familiar routine now, no typical day, and I have to develop/discover those. And I will. All four of us are moving into new phases, and are dealing with something, loneliness, homesickness, uncertainty about the future. We'll be fine. But oh man, does it help to have all of you to "talk" to about it. Thanks for listening.

I told him that and he said he'll go! There's a small FLW house open to the public in Northern Virginia, the Pope-Leighey house, that I've been to but I think the boys haven't so that's another one to take them to.

I'm definitely doing that next time.

I just checked out and after a bite to eat will drive back to DC. Dinner on Sunday with DePaul twin, his roommate, and older brother was okay, everyone obviously aware of the looming goodbye but in control. When we took the two freshmen back to their dorm roommate shook our hands and called both me and older brother "Sir," and then twin hugged us both and said "Call me soon." No "be happy" moment this time. Like his twin, he walked into the dorm without a glance back. Monday morning Oldest and I drove to NY, and the talk got serious, but not in the way I (or probably you) expected. He's been in a relationship for about a year, the first really serious one he's had. He wanted to talk about that, and about me and his mom. I was about his age when we got engaged, and he wanted to know how we knew that was the right thing to do, how we knew each other was the right one, etc. He's thinking about where to go from here, how to know what to do next. Now, we got married younger than anyone would have advised, and had kids immediately, so I don't know if my input is the best, but I tried to tell him how it was. He knows his mom was pregnant when we got married (although we were engaged already). He said he'd been jealous of his little brothers because they'd had such strong relationships in high school and he hadn't, which totally surprised me, he'd never given any indication of that. But he's clearly very much in love with this young woman, and she is lovely, but they're juniors in college. I mostly listened, but told him about how it felt when his mom and I got serious. He threw in that they were thinking of moving off-campus together at some point, so I guess that question's been answered. Tuesday morning we picked up his stuff from storage and moved him into his dorm. He's had a great roommate the past two years, who was a huge help when he broke his leg, and they are moving into a suite with two others this semester. One of the new guys had his parents there and allow me to digress and say his dad is hot as hell. We didn't go to a show last night after all, just a farewell dinner, where he did indeed gently express concern about me being alone. I was honest and said I don't know how it will be, but assured him I'd figure it out. I know some of you think I should open up to the boys and I intend to, but I really want to do it when we're all together. But since he'd brought it up I reminded him that they used to badger me to start dating, and I asked why they had abruptly stopped. He got very serious, and said that we'd all been at the table and he and the twins had been boisterously suggesting women for me to date. I'd laughed it off, but when I left the room, he said I had looked sad. (I have no memory of this at all.) He was 15 and the twins 13. He told his brothers he thought they were hurting my feelings, and they all agreed to leave me alone. Then he said will you maybe start dating now? And I said I think I might, and he nodded. He is the cynic in the family, the unsentimental one, and when I took him back to campus I expected a handshake or manly hug at best. But before he got out of the car, he reached out and touched my face and said, "Call me soon, too." I just nodded, and off he went. Last night at the hotel was hard, but I'm okay. I slept late, which I never do. I've written this over a late breakfast, and while I typed I've had texts from all three. Now, back to DC.

It was amazing, and so was their reaction. I think they had the exact response Frank Lloyd Wright wanted, as we walked toward the house they got quiet, sensing something special. The first glimpse of the house, and the tour inside it, were big hits. Both said they want to see more FLW work and that they "want to live somewhere like this." Good luck with that! Thanks, I'll be fine. (I think!)

Thanks for the recommendation! I won't make it there this trip but I'm planning to visit during the fall semester so I'll shoot for then.

This thread's title now has a different meaning. This morning we moved DePaul twin into his dorm at, ahem, DePaul, so the "one to go" is older brother, who I'll deliver to Fordham on Tuesday. We drove to Chicago with a stop in Pittsburgh to visit family, and I was humored by the boys in my desire to see Fallingwater, which they were unenthusiastic about until we got there, and then they loved it. I'm back at the hotel with my eldest for a break, and this evening we'll take twin and his roommate to dinner. Roommate is here alone, his parents didn't accompany him from Ireland. He's got an amazing accent, is covered in freckles, appears to be ripped like nobody's business-- and looks about 15. He and twin seem to have hit it off from the first Skype session, and that is reassuring (I had roommate issues my freshman year). We'll say our goodbyes tonight and head East in the morning. This feels more like when we left older brother off as a freshman, less monumental than with Plebe twin, but still, it will be a parting from one of my boys, the quietest and most easy-going of them all. The drive to NY will be a good chance to talk with my eldest, who is more independent all the time. I'll stay in NYC Tuesday night, maybe take him to a show, and then Wednesday will drive back to DC alone, which I'm not looking forward to. And then we enter Terra Incognita as I live alone for the first time in my life.

Apart from wet dreams as a kid, I think my only hands-free orgasm happened when I was in college. I had acquired a reputation as a player, sleeping with lots of girls. So when I met the woman I would eventually marry (in a class together) she at first refused to date me. That was a wake-up call, since I genuinely liked her and was attracted to her. So I made a plea for her to give me a chance, and we dated for a while with the understanding that we'd only have sex when we trusted each other. Even chastely dating made me like her even more. One morning I woke up with a boner and began thinking about her and fantasizing about us having sex, and without touching myself I came. It was not long before we felt the time was right, it was the best sex I had ever had (maybe because I had developed feelings for her), and I never slept with anyone else until long after she died. Since then it's been men only, my 19 year-old self would never have guessed I'd never sleep with another woman after her. (Not saying I never will, but it sure seems like it.)

Thanks, my friend. We are well, and the first leg of the Chicago/New York trip starts Thursday. Everyone, except maybe my oldest, is standing on a brink where everything will change. Excited and happy and nervous and bittersweet, all at once.

MattAlpha advertised in DC earlier in the year but never responded to text or email.

Okay, I'll try to be succinct. Try. When I went back down to the pool, the twins, GF, and her parents were sitting on the deck talking. Plebe twin and GF were on chaises, and as the chat went on, he fell asleep. So now we were all watching him sleep, talking softly about his summer. He woke with a jolt and apologized, mostly to GF. The kids went up to the rooms to dress, and by now older bro was back. We all wanted to give Plebe and GF some time alone, but logistics were tricky with her parents there and limited time. So we eneded up going to dinner near the Annapolis Mall, with the two of them going out alone and the rest of us going elsewhere. Her parents had a million questions about his summer and the year ahead, and his brothers answered more than I did. The pair of them walked back to meet us (I suspect after some smooching), and GF left with her folks. We still had some time, so back to DTA to visit over ice cream. This was the most normal it all seemed all weekend, everyone behaving like we always had, and very little talk about the Academy. DePaul twin told him about his roommate-to-be, and what the dorms at DePaul look like online-- much homier than Plebe rooms. Then walked him back to get him there before he turned into a pumpkin at midnight. Sunday morning we met at the beautiful Chapel and joined the boys' cousin, my wife's sister's son, who is a rising senior there. He's always been a great guy and they all look up to him, not least because he's about 6'4! Afterwards we brought him back to the hotel for brunch (Midshipmen at an all-you-can-eat brunch must strike fear in establishments all over Annapolis). Cousin remembers his aunt, the boys' mom, and her death hit him hard when it happened. After brunch, he said, "I wish your mom was here, she'd be so proud." And cynical, sarcastic older brother said, "She is, and she is." And, well, no one said anything, or could have, for a while. Cousin headed back to the Yard and we went to the rooms to relax. The plan was to swim again, but somehow we never got around to it. He didn't fall asleep this time, but we watched TV, surfed the internet, snacked, and talked. He was due back at 6, er, 1800, so we left to get there early enough that there wouldn't be a rush, or a delay at the gate. In the days before air travel, few Midshipman went home for Thanksgiving, so wouldn't see their families again until Christmas. So a longstanding tradition at the end of Plebe Parents' Weekend is for the upperclass to loudly play Christmas Music as the Plebes are dropped off the last day. We knew that would happen and were amused by it, but we saw some families who were visibly shaken at the reminder of how long it would be. In he went after hugs all around, but more normal ones, a "Good luck" to his twin, and we stayed to watch evening formation where we couldn't find him in the crowd. We stayed the night, to make the return home less fraught than it had been back in June. So. In less than two weeks we take his twin to Chicago for orientation. From there I'll drive older brother, who is anxious to get back to his GF, back to NY. Paradoxically, the one I'll be able to see most often once the academic year starts is Plebe twin, since he gets some liberty on weekends and he's only 45 minutes away. I won't hover though, I'll wait and see how much he wants visits. But I have season tickets for Navy football, so at the very least I'll see him at games. Onward.

Just touching base to say I'll finish the report this evening. My computer had a nervous breakdown on Sunday and I didn't want to use another for this kind of thing! All went well, though.

It's similar to the one I posted earlier, but this is the video about this summer they showed us during the briefing yesterday. Older brother swears he glimpsed Plebe twin in it somewhere, but I don't see him in it anywhere.