jazeboy

My reply is unrelated to this thread ... but I just wanted to say that this is some of the most awesome advice I've heard in a long time ... and the timing happens to be great ... THANKS!!

Hi all, I recently returned from a trip to Tokyo and I had a chance to book with one of the larger male massage networks in Japan.  I had previously used them when I was there pre-COVID, but never in Tokyo. I sampled a few in Tokyo this time and wanted to share my experience.
https://utatane-tokyo.com
The Tokyo site is by far the largest of the other city sites. There are many therapists in other cities as well. There are about 3-4 dozen providers though not all may be active. Each provider has his own profile page with stats (age, height/weight, gay vs straight) and a separate link to a Twitter account that updates his upcoming availability. Almost all providers have their face blurred so it can be hit or miss but each one I had were at least decent looking, IMHO. 
The rates are all standard 10000 yen for 1 hr and 15000 yen for 90min. The incalls are done in a small studio apt on a floor mat (1000 yen service charge); outcalls are the same price as above plus 1000 or 2000 yen for travel. You put in your request and your email and if you send it during the daytime there, you'll usually get a reply within a few hours (you may need google translate to reply). 
In general, each massage had a baseline level of therapeutic + sensual massage. Pay cash on arrival. Decent pressure, nothing technically spectacular with MT/HE. Each session starts with a shower with the masseur and during it you can tell who may go a little further. There were a couple that definitely became more interactive, just based on chemistry I guess. No tipping allowed.  All were extremely polite, friendly and punctual...all what you would expect when visiting Japan. Overall I would definitely recommend it.   PM for more details.
 

There's a school of thought where people think riding a cock is a great way to start.  And it does work for a lot of guys.  But honestly it's the relinquishing of control that gets you in the right mindset for bottoming.  And if you're hiring an intuitive skilled top, letting them work their magic is for sure the way to go.
Doggy style is great, but unless you're in great shape, that can be a stress position for a lot of guys.  I've had a lot of luck opening up nervous bottoms by laying them on their side.  That way they're super comfortable, more able to relax, and you still get access to working their cock as you do it. 
Also: manage your conceptual framework of success!  Goal oriented sex can feel unnecessarily high pressure.  Having your ass teased by a very hard cock can be pleasurable enough.  Taking just the tip can be super satisfying.  If you allow yourself to enjoy the process rather than fixating on some arbitrary goal, you'll most likely surprise yourself!

There’s a grey area here…
Not liking something and having a bad experience because of the poor services of the provider are two different things.
Going to a movie and finding it to be uninteresting with a poor plot is a dislike. (You should pay)
Going to a movie theater that ran out of popcorn, had soda spilled in the seats, the the reels of the film were distorted is a bad experience. (Payment modification needs to be discussed with management) 
 
Going to a restaurant and realizing that the style of food prepared isn’t your taste is a dislike (you should pay) 
Going to a restaurant where there was a cockroach swimming through your main course, and there were lipstick prints on your wine glass is part of a bad experience. (Payment modification needs to be discussed with management) 
The same thing goes for the personal services discussed here. There’s a major difference between not getting what you expected (you should pay)  vs. basic standards not being met, that led to a poor experience. For example, being shorted on time, dirty set up for a massage, blatant demonstration of massage skills, or for an escort, a limp appendage, and not performing what was requested serves a poor customer service. (Payment modification should be addressed with the provider.) 
 
These things should be addressed and there should be at least a discussion of payment modification. 
 
Stand up for yourselves. In most situations where you’re getting bad service, the provider of that service knows it , and does doesn’t care. He’s taking advantage of your kindness and inability to confront him. 
 
 

In an ideal world. But it's so hard ... and all the more so the older you are. I wish I had the courage when I was younger. I wish the world was more tolerant / accepting when I was younger.

Why would you say that? It's really not helpful or constructive to OP.

In an ideal world. But it's so hard ... and all the more so the older you are. I wish I had the courage when I was younger. I wish the world was more tolerant / accepting when I was younger.

In an ideal world. But it's so hard ... and all the more so the older you are. I wish I had the courage when I was younger. I wish the world was more tolerant / accepting when I was younger.

In an ideal world. But it's so hard ... and all the more so the older you are. I wish I had the courage when I was younger. I wish the world was more tolerant / accepting when I was younger.

Roast squirrel on rye toast with cheddar cheese was always a camping favorite when I was a kid.

Having made an attempt to boot my day with a smattering of kindness and having suffered defeat in the act, I am now going to get the double-barrel shotgun out and clear the front yard of squirrels.

Shorter version: Come out. The closet kills.

Great advice. But reeeally difficult for someone who's never done any of that ... and who is in the closet. I know this first hand.

Why would you say that? It's really not helpful or constructive to OP.

Why would you say that? It's really not helpful or constructive to OP.

I'm so happy for you that you no longer consider yourself to be lost or lonely.  This greatly encourages me.  Now, to work on the alone, and for you to realize that even when you are not in a relationship you are never truly alone  🙏

Dear comrades,
I am the OP, but I have changed my username from lostlonelysoul.  Details below.
Thanks for all your recommendations.  I eventually booked a 2-hour session with @Simon Suraci.  I have been eyeing for him on both RM platforms for weeks even before I made my post.  But his home base (SD) is way too far from me.  So I gave up until I saw his travel location coincided with my business trip.  It was meant to be.
Let me start by saying that his ad/profile pics definitely do not do him justice.  He is 100X hotter in person.  You need to see him for yourself.  Per your suggestions, I originally made a massage appointment, but as soon as I told him what I truly desired, he did not hesitate to switch gear and led me to the bedroom.
Needless to say, I was consumed by stress and anxiety initially.  He had a magical way to put me at ease.  Aside from being handsome & sexy as hell, he’s intelligent, funny, and kind.  Before I knew it, I had my first kiss, my first embrace with a man, my first time touching another man’s naked body all over, and…… I’ll let your imagination run wild to fill in the blanks (many, many, many other blanks indeed).
I was (and kind of still is) in a euphoric state for days afterwards.  Luckily, I have no important deadlines or projects on hand; otherwise, I’ll be doomed, for that session was the only thing I could think of ever since.
@Simon Suraci exceeded every expectation I have for my first rendezvous and I am so glad I made the right choice for my many, many firsts.  I bet he will forget about me very soon, but I am 100% certain I will remember him for the rest of my life.  Frankly, that was one of the most memorable experiences I have ever had.  I'll surely pay close attention to his traveling schedule from now on.
Thank you all once again.
No longer lost; No longer lonely (even though still alone); My soul has been salvaged; The gate of heaven has been unlocked; Let the wild ride begin + continue

I agree with taking the massage route.  Learn how to accept touch before you escalate to more intimate encounters

Why would you say that? It's really not helpful or constructive to OP.

I am in a very similar position than OP. I am certainly not very experienced, but I offer this opinion, hoping that it might help OP and others in same or similar situations.

As an older virgin, or at least sexually-inexperienced guy, I assumed that I was missing out on 'sex'. Because I am uncomfortable with my sexuality (yes, I'm still stuck in that old-school way that I grew up in, but that's a different story), I only recently started allowing myself to experience intimacy with another human, and I did it in the gradual way of massage, sensual massage, erotic massage as many of the responses here suggest. It's been great to have physical contact with another human, but I understand now that this physical contact is really what I have been missing out on. Not 'sex' as such - we can satisfy that need on our own. But touch, connection, closeness is what we're missing. And while some providers are kind and supportive and empathetic, and can provide the illusion of these things, briefly, it is not real. It is, and remains transactional. (This is not a criticism to providers at all.)

And if you are lucky enough to find a provider that is kind and caring and supportive, and one who physically also enjoys your time together, there is the danger that you might interpret it as being more than just transactional: that you might think they could be truly interested in you as a friend, a human, a boyfriend maybe ... not just a customer.

I feel like I'm rambling a bit and I'm not really sure where I'm going with this ... but I just wanted to put it out there, for some context. I guess what I'm saying is don't hire someone because you think it will fulfill what you have been missing. I'm not saying don't hire ... I'm just saying that you should temper your expectations, be clear about what you want out of it ... and be clear about what you can actually get out of it. I have had some amazing massages / interactions, and I will continue to pursue those, but I have to remind myself that I should not confuse it for real human connection, that I should not misconstrue it for something it is not.

Oldest mention of Sagi I can find is here, from 2010, just an inquiry, no info:   https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/39685-nyc-recommendations/page/2/#comment-365623
Also found this (says age is 40):  https://www.richmendating.com/members/sagi139
 

Thank you "Yoni" for suddenly feeling the need to discredit everything that everyone's said about "Sagi" (whos real name, as I recall, is Yani).
Amazing how he "looks the same" as his photos from 2009. He clearly has found the fountain of youth and drunk from it.
 

Note:  Newbie's first post.

Any recommendations for Korean spas in the NY/NJ area with nice eye-candy (younger, fitter guys)?

I am in a very similar position than OP. I am certainly not very experienced, but I offer this opinion, hoping that it might help OP and others in same or similar situations.

As an older virgin, or at least sexually-inexperienced guy, I assumed that I was missing out on 'sex'. Because I am uncomfortable with my sexuality (yes, I'm still stuck in that old-school way that I grew up in, but that's a different story), I only recently started allowing myself to experience intimacy with another human, and I did it in the gradual way of massage, sensual massage, erotic massage as many of the responses here suggest. It's been great to have physical contact with another human, but I understand now that this physical contact is really what I have been missing out on. Not 'sex' as such - we can satisfy that need on our own. But touch, connection, closeness is what we're missing. And while some providers are kind and supportive and empathetic, and can provide the illusion of these things, briefly, it is not real. It is, and remains transactional. (This is not a criticism to providers at all.)

And if you are lucky enough to find a provider that is kind and caring and supportive, and one who physically also enjoys your time together, there is the danger that you might interpret it as being more than just transactional: that you might think they could be truly interested in you as a friend, a human, a boyfriend maybe ... not just a customer.

I feel like I'm rambling a bit and I'm not really sure where I'm going with this ... but I just wanted to put it out there, for some context. I guess what I'm saying is don't hire someone because you think it will fulfill what you have been missing. I'm not saying don't hire ... I'm just saying that you should temper your expectations, be clear about what you want out of it ... and be clear about what you can actually get out of it. I have had some amazing massages / interactions, and I will continue to pursue those, but I have to remind myself that I should not confuse it for real human connection, that I should not misconstrue it for something it is not.