d.anders

I don't know what "central" means. Is it 40%, 50%, or 60% of my identity? Even if I live to 100, I'm in the last 1/4 of my life. So if my math skills are worth anything, I'm 75% old, and that seems a hell of a lot more than "central" to me. There was a time when I had hair, could stand up straight, and no one could guess my age. Soon after 50 that changed. Now, it's impossible to hide or pretend, no matter how rested or energetic I am. Way too many strangers offer me their seat, and considering I live in NYC, it's very touching to me. I don't want to be one of those narcissists who lives in denial. Old now is the majority of my identity, and when I solicit provider help, I want to be upfront and truthful about it. (Edit) Gay guys don't like being tricked or left to guess.

No need to apologize to me. My social media skills are pitiful. Without clear and correct information, I can easily get lost and confused. I have a very dear friend who endured several brain surgeries due to cancer. He is now wheelchair bound. The guy was a very talented, much loved professor, so to witness the effect that cancer has had on him is very traumatizing and painful. I don't have cancer, but in my elder years, I now consider myself a special needs customer. The days of being handsome, lean, and muscle defined are over for me. I no longer have hair on my head, and I hate being bald. My health issues are serious, but they are not obvious to strangers. I must explain to providers before a service begins to avoid disaster. I require a patient guy who is caring and understanding. Not easy to find. Most guys in this business are not prepared to service special needs customers. Most guys don't want us. I find it is very unfair to expect special consideration without giving someone a chance to absorb the challenges, and come to term with those challenges in their own way. I don't want to identify as an old man, but ignoring the reality does me no good. It's now a part of who I am. That is why I send a nude photo to providers I am interested in. I appreciate the ones who say "no thanks," but most never respond to my queries. Luckily for me, there are enough who do respond. Life can still be good and pleasurable, and those feelings are important to me.

Some tattoos are very sexy. My dad had one from his days in the military. Some guys definitely go too far these days, but many don't. Uncircumcised can be so sexy. Not a negative for me. Unless the foreskin is too tight, it is very easy and fun to clean an uncircumcised dick. I've been with many uncut cocks that smelled and tasted divine. The French love their cheese. Since many lazy men ignore foot grooming, I love knowing whether a guy takes care of his feet. I don't have a sexual foot fetish, but I love discovering a man who cares about his feet. Seeing that care in an ad is a plus for me, because it speaks about self-respect. Nope, not only. Even at my age I prefer natural beauty over anything fake. This boy is unique. He's very lean and defined, and not too short. He has some Greek statue beauty working on his behalf. I don't like the emojis on this board. I don't understand why they have to be so small. Even with special glasses for the computer, I cannot see the emoji details, and I have no idea what any of them mean.

It was not my intention to insult you, and I'm sorry you felt that I did. Not insult you. Not educate on cancer. Only share my experience living with health care changes to appearance. I don't know anyone here. I simply read what is on the screen and respond. I was not speaking with ridicule, and nor was that my intent. I'm very sorry you felt that I did. I'm also sorry to hear you have brain damage.

The syntax was nearly impossible for me to follow. Is English not your first language? Do the medications affect your writing? If there was a name change, why would you do that? I'm quite familiar with the physical changes caused by serious health care issues. I survived the ordeal of my parents, and now I deal with my own. In fact, the movie A Different Man touches on the issue of being rejected because of health care changes to physical appearance. Beauty is a complicated subject, and it affects people in unique ways. I've never met a physically beautiful person in the sex work industry who had a ton of compassion for less beautiful people, especially if you hire non-professionals. HE massage therapists are not registered nurses. If your appearance is not the norm, and you want to hire someone selling himself as "handsome," there are certain things that need to be done before seeing the person. The most important thing is sending photos of yourself with an explanation of what happened. With that, you need to ask directly, "Are you OK with working with me?" If the provider says no, or hesitates in any way, then you must accept that and move on. You can test mankind on its humanity all you want, but I can assure you, you will end up drowning in deep disappointment. If you desire better treatment from strangers, learn how to properly handle things.

I can't disagree with that. I actually don't mind the silent panning images. They are far more beautiful than the dialogue, or anyone in this cast. So true. Haven't flown since 2019. Can no longer lie in the sun. Unless the pool is heated, I'm a shaking chill-fest. So depressing for someone who once cherished his sexy tan line. White Lotus is a fun escape, for sure. But I am so missing the energy and wondrous, chaotic spirit of Tanya, and of course, all the previous hot boys. Mike White's decision to go spiritual is not working for me. I need and want the sex.

It was mostly another head-scratching dud. Warning: mild spoilers ahead. The writing seems really off to me. What the hell is Gary/Greg doing with that size boat? He's got Google headlines in Italy "wanted for questioning" from a previous White Lotus stay, that Belinda found with no effort, and in Thailand, at another White Lotus, he's entertaining complete strangers on a look-at-me-yacht. WTF. Who writes this shit? On top of that, the character has about as much charm and charisma as a dump of fresh, steaming cow dung. None of it makes any sense to me. Why would any of these characters end up on that boat, with that guy? Gaitok has to be the dumbest, most incompetent luxury hotel security guard I've ever seen. He treats his woody for Mook like a sex addict who needs a fix, while all the blood drains from his real brain. It's way too unbelievable, and silly. I have no idea why Valentin recommended Motel 6 to the three bitches, but it was fun to watch Michelle Monaghan melt down at the site of jiggling arm fat. I really dislike the way Timothy Ratliff's character is behaving. I feel sorry for the acting that is required of Jason Isaacs to make it believable. Not sure how a mega-wealthy businessman would behave on vacation with his family, if he found out his life is over during the vacation. It's a fascinating premise, but not the way its unfolding in this show. I think Mike White may be tired and needs a vacation from White Lotus.

I often wondered if that's a byproduct to acquire financial backing in Hollywood. Inevitably, some of the money probably has to come from straight investors.

It seems a strong assumption on this board that everyone has a price and can be purchased, gay or not. IMO, it's a fantasy.

LOL. That was just one word that no one could spell. Wicked is an entire 3-plus hour script.

I'm not holding my breath on another gay comedy by Will & Grace alumns Max Mutchnick and David Kohan. Hollywood gay-funny is almost always in its in own lane, and alien to the rest of gay America. The pairing of Nathan Lane and Matt Bomer is interesting. And then there's the Black gay. I guess on paper it makes sense to roll out tried and true Linda Lavin, but really, was there no one else willing or able? Another reason to not hold breath is Ryan Murphy, whose version of gay life is the most distorted and cliche as ever. At least they're all trying, and doing so in Palm Springs. A gay Golden Girls perhaps?

Not sure about this one, but in the entire film they did weird things with words, attempting to possibly create their own language. I actually found this a bit annoying, and a great way to fuck with a child's vocabulary. Perhaps a bit too bah-humbug on my part.

In a professional setting, a 60-minute massage is almost always 40-50 minutes on the table, especially for first-time appointments. That has always been my experience. I can barely tie my shoes in 60 minutes, so how could I ever expect much from any other 60-minute service? The days of 2-minute hand jobs are long gone. Even when my doctor is running on time, I still end up being in the office far longer than I ever anticipate. Ancillary stuff happens, depending on the people involved. There is no such thing as a perfect clock in any service business. On the other hand, to be stuck on a table during a bad massage for 90 minutes is a unique torture one needs to experience to decide what is the best option. For me, the general rule is, when you discover a good thing, make sure to allow enough time to truly savor the pleasure.

When I think of all the money I spent on theater tickets for shows I ended up not enjoying, I think about all the movies I hated, and get depressed even further. Entertainment almost always offers no refunds, especially the illegal kind. I suppose if a provider stupidly blamed a bad performance on drugs, he deserves a sharp confrontation from his customer. Luckily for drug-using providers, most people, especially closeted gay men, will do anything to avoid confrontation. Is a confrontation ever worth the financial loss, especially if the risk of bodily harm is a possibility? How much is risk worth? There certainly are times when being cheap or insisting on financial retribution could cause you more harm than good. In situations like these, it's far better to think fast and hard about your decisions, and not play the fool. I know I can no longer defend myself in a physical fight. Until I can legally carry a gun, no amount of cash loss is going to justify the risk of bodily harm to me. I will always choose the safe path, bite the bullet and never hire the guy again. My life and health is too precious to me to think otherwise.

I was gifted with Apple TV yesterday, and I started to watch The Morning Show. I was blown away by the first two episodes of Season 1. Smart writing, good acting, great angst and tension, and terrific chemistry between Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon. Can't wait to see more. I'm surprised Aaron Sorkin wasn't part of the creative team. Seems like something he would have jumped on.

I finally saw the movie last night, and I managed to stay awake for the whole thing, but barely. It is an overly long movie with a simple, dragged-out plot. The visuals are a spectacle to look at, especially the last 10 minutes, but it's still a traditional musical, and not a very good one. I was pretty surprised by how slow the movie moved, and how lame and unmemorable much of the music was. I once loved the score from Godspell. "Popular" reminds me of a cheaper version of Annie's "It's a Hard Knock Life." Annie has much better songs. "Defying Gravity" is the only other memorable song, and it's mostly memorable for its vocal screaming. I was reminded what I didn't like about what I had heard about the Broadway score, songs designed to be sung by amateur screamers on American Idol. I have to say the whole movie thing is way over-hyped. Seeing this film did not change my life, and I have no desire to see it again. It's a lot of colorful cotton candy with very little substance. The concept is interesting. I could see why creators wanted to play in the background of the Oz story. But the whole endless school theme seemed like a borrowed attempt to capture Harry Potter mystique. There were a few moments, very few, when I felt the spirit of Judy Garland, and my heart jolted. But in the end, I was mostly bored, and the actors look and sound like they are lip-syncing in an over-bloated, old-fashioned, movie-musical production. The original Munchkin Land in Judy's Oz felt far more clever and creative. Even the dance numbers in Wicked seemed out of place and superfluous. The background characters mostly looked way too normal to be in Oz. I had forgotten there's a second movie to come. Good grief. I guess I'm glad the performers are employed.

I love a good horror flick, but they are seriously hard to come by. Not sure what to say about this one, other than ridiculous and preposterous. The acting is fine, but let's get real with these absurd stories. Hugh Grant is more creepy than ever. I hear the two young actresses are former Mormons? I get that a lot of people in Hollywood are atheists, but this crap is over-the-top silly, and completely unbelievable.

For as long as I can remember, I didn't take more money than needed. Never carried credit or debit cards to any appointment. Sometimes, I didn't take I.D., but I always told a friend where I would be. Some of those Craigslist appointments were a bit sketchy. There were a few times I thought about buying a gun and learning how to use it. I never hired while traveling. I never had the guts for that. This has always been a business that attracts shady characters. Always best to hire with extreme caution.

What do you mean? I'm always on the lookout for a mechanic who can provide me love. LOL.

I tried to watch The Bear when it first appeared on the scene. For some reason, I couldn't finish Season 1. I may have to revisit it and give it another chance. The Last Showgirl is barely an hour. It's a quick, small story.

An interesting small movie with Tilda Swinton and Julianne Moore. It's a movie about friendship and a highly-charged sensitive subject. Can't imagine it plans on making a ton of money. It doesn't seem to be your typical Almodóvar movie. The cinematography is outstanding. I wish more movies were shot like this. There is one major hole in the story. If more people see it, maybe we can discuss that here.

That only works up to a point. I have caller I.D. too, and boy do I use it. However, a lot of heath care providers are calling from a cell phone these days, and you can't predict how that number will appear on the cell's screen. There is often no name attached. The last thing I want to do is miss a call from one of my doctors or their assistants. I also can't afford to miss a call from a government agency or a goddamned insurance company. Wait until you need someone, and you have to sit on hold for over an hour before they pick up. Pure torture. There is no easy, simple answer anymore because this issue inevitably is about time and money. Most of us realists know that many guys in the biz don't take the business seriously at all. They're in it for a minute, or completely on their own terms. They don't care about a customer. They don't want to spend one minute more on the business than they have to. They just want extra money, and they want it easy, as little effort or investment as possible. I prefer the privacy and convenience of email, but that is growing more and more complicated. Not only do you need an internet connection, you have to create an account. Many of the popular services are now requiring I.D. confirmation, which makes it difficult to create an alias account. It's also an extra step. With the end of privacy, and respect for it, and the growing cost of internet hosting ads, it's difficult to imagine where this business is headed.

I've been watching some YouTube Anora interviews post Oscars. There are some good ones with Sean Baker, Mikey Madison, and Mark Eydelshteyn. Much to my surprise, Mark can barely speak English. I thought he was faking it in the movie, but his English is pretty iffy. Also, much to my surprise, he sent Sean Baker his audition tape and he filmed it in the nude. He said he knew there would be sex scenes, so before being asked, he decided to do the entire audition tape in the nude. Sean was a bit surprised by this, but then Mark got cast. So it worked. There are a few still shots on the internet from Mark's nude scene. It looks like he's quite hung for a small, skinny guy, and most likely uncut. Too bad Sean didn't insist on full frontal. I'm sure Mark would have been OK with it. Also, Mark said the naked flip was his idea. He had asked Sean if he could try it, and Sean liked it. It's also fun to see how different Mikey Madison is in real life. I was certain she was from Brooklyn after seeing the movie, but she's an L.A. native. She had vocal coaching for the Brighton Beach accent, and she got it down pitch perfect. She also trained for a month on pole dancing. It is amazing how well she did. She bought a pole on the internet and had her father install it in her home. I love hearing about how the soup was made.

I know almost nothing about Reddit. Links have come up in some searches, and I read what is there, but nothing so far has struck me as special, and I didn't enjoy the user-interface. The only social media I use is YouTube. I've completely learned how to sew on YouTube during Covid, and I absolutely love it. For sex talk, I like this board and lpsg. Lively discussion about handsome men on both. (Edit) I meant to add, lpsg often offers photos or links that no other site seems to have. I have no clue how they get away with that.