Oakman

Jeez. I have spent $400+ for an hour in the past and have never afterwards thought “that was worth it.” I have found that saying “$500? I’ll bet you’re worth it! But that’s out of my budget. Enjoy your stay in SF! 😘” usually gets a response to negotiate a new price.

Sounds like you already know the answer. If he was into you, he wouldn’t be charging you. He’s doing what it takes to keep you hooked and coming back. Adjust your expectations and enjoy it, or stop doing this if you’re apt to fall for a man who isn’t available for the relationship you long for.

I’ve learned from this forum that a lot of gents enjoy the thrill of letting an ambiguously defined massage session unfold, and seeing what services and satisfaction come their way. Personally, I’ve found this to be infuriating and oftentimes disappointing, and I no longer book massage services when what I want is either sex or an orgasm. I book an escort and remove the possibility of ambiguous expectations.

Pro writing tip: long paragraphs make a writer look insane.

No. Are you into having intimate experiences with men who wear masks? It doesn’t sound like this provider understands what the word “penalized“ means. He isn’t entitled to your business. Good for you for knowing what you want, being polite, and not giving into somebody else’s silly manipulation.

I saw this one earlier today too. This guy claims to be 23 years old with a 9 inch dick. There are, however no photos of the dick. Any 23 year-old with a 9 inch dick would not be shy about sharing those photos, which is a pretty good indicator that this is a bullshit profile.

Some people (you?) have a strange addiction to guilt. They give themselves reasons to feel guilty about inconsequential things. Your massage guy keeps booking you. It would seem he’s fine with the rate you are paying. Enjoy your massage and don’t pollute your joy with unnecessary guilt.

Listing as “bottom, top or vers” can actually reduce desirability for vers guys or “switches.” Clients prefer specialization, particularly for expensive purchases. A client looking for a sub bottom is going to prefer providers who focus on that in their ads. In marketing this is the notion that If you want a great steak, you go to a steak house, not a restaurant that also serves steak among other things (even though both steaks may be of equal quality). By omitting position preference, a vers provider leaves that up to the client’s imagination. It takes just a little conversation for a vers provider to figure out which role is needed and then turn that on as if it’s the thing he’s most into.

How tall do some of you think NFL players are 😝?

🤔

I have so much fun being an eager to please beta for big alpha men, who I don’t ordinarily score out in the wild. I get lost in inflating his ego and getting him to perform like he’s the sexiest man in the world. I’m too competitive in real life to suffer that kind of imbalance, but for an hour or two, I’ll be a bitch who should just feel lucky to be in the room with some stud.

Silly me - I neglected to paste a link. I made the correction.

Ralmassage: Does any one have experience with this stud yet? He’s got a reasonable rate, straight forward communication, no conditions for deposits or attention on IG or OF. Looks hot and legit. Look familiar to anyone under an older name?

Sure, but very unlikely. It’s worth considering why that provider is using a less-trafficked site to stir up business. They’ve probably been banned elsewhere. Typically these guys are luring in deposits or selling videos. Very often the photos are fakes. And they know that desperate men will click “make payment” on the mere hope that the photo that’s talking to them will become real. I always report these accounts.

Does anyone have experience with Pedrao_gyn? This guy looks incredible (in my opinion 😛). Curious if there have been positive experiences?

Do you vet your providers through their reviews or this forum before you meet with them? I once had to end a meet up when the provider’s rough play started turning into assault. He was also aggressively persistent with me while I was trying to leave. We were evenly matched, physically, so I did not feel intimidated about standing up for myself. It was frightening nevertheless. Among the many lessons I learned in this instance was to always take my clothes and shoes off neatly so that I could get dressed in a hurry if I needed to.

$4,200 last year. Roughly once a month. It’s good to know what you actually spent so you can plan ahead and be sure that you can still have this hobby and also meet your other financial obligations in the year ahead. If you aren’t harming yourself or others, I suggest dropping the notion of being a “desperate perv.” You’re just a man getting what he needs to be happy. Hope you made some good memories in ‘24.

Usually means the guy blows a load without touching his dick. Prostate stimulation may be part of it, but there are a lot of other factors too. A hands-free orgasm is a terrific compliment to any top guy 🤩

One of the things I dealt with in therapy was a crippling need to be validated by men I was envious of. In the words of St. Whitney Houston, “learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” I hope you find that. You don’t need sympathy from this crowd (which you often solicit), and you don’t need approval from hot men (which you often talk about). Hot men are just as miserable as everyone else. Learn to love yourself. Consider psychotherapy.

I remember having conversations with my therapist about this sort of thing years ago. I used to feel a sense of moral obligation to have nice conversations with men I wasn’t interested in, because I felt obligated to be kind and to consider how it might feel for others to feel rejected. I had a big heart, and I would spend all kinds of time stuck in reluctant pen-pal situations with guys who were always trying to prod me toward sex and their own gratification or validation. These days, I prioritize my own needs in those spaces. Grindr and all of the other apps are not spaces for community engagement. They exist for personal pleasure.

Imagine walking into bar and ten men simultaneously start talking to you. You sit at the counter and get inundated by ballsy ‘4’s showing you their assholes. Some guys start making demands. Others just keep nudging you over and over and over. Would you stay at the bar and just focus on meeting guys who interest you? would you avoid the bar entirely rather than risking offense to the crowd? Or would you make it your purpose every time you go out to let each uninteresting guy who walks up to you every three minutes know that you aren’t interested, but still think they’re special? Wouldn’t that be so fun? Maybe have a really inauthentic let-down speech prepared? Yes, kindness should rule. But one must never allow oneself to be manipulated by emotionally needy people who demand attention and do nothing to earn it. Nor should we make our sexy time all about feeling obligated to people who don’t turn us on.

Maybe your Edwardian Great Grandmother could give you tips on how to get D.

Lol. Emily Post conspicuously omits mention of how to deal with horny delusional guys on a hook-up app. Good manners do not come at the expense of helping delusional people cope with their own bad choices. No, I do not have to come up with a polite and gentle reason for not responding to some fifty men a day, as if that kind of correspondence is my job. No, ignoring messages is not impolite. What fun is the app for me if all I’m doing is attending to the needs and feelings of some horny guy who is sending the same annoying and desperate “fuck me daddy” message to everyone he sees?

Oh honey. No one is obligated to be polite to anyone else’s unsolicited messages on a dating app. I frequently get “most woofed” on Scruff and can get 50+ messages a day, not to mention “woofs” and album unlocks from boys “shooting their shot.” I do not have the time or interest in writing 50 polite messages to keep someone’s fragile ego intact. Likewise, I send messages to men who I wish would respond to me. When they don’t (which is not at all uncommon) I shrug it off. I am not entitled to anyone’s time, and I don’t need the validation. Reaching out to a provider on a dating app is really just fantasizing that the provider would really be interested in you if only you weren’t also a paying customer. That is delusional behavior.

How was the D?