Oakman

Agree 100%. So many of you really need to MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Literally. There is absolutely no “professional standard of care” for what is quite literally an illicit trade. Anyone can participate, either as a provider or a client, and set their own rules. If you do not like their seemingly arbitrary rules, they aren’t the match for you. And yes, some providers can (and do) focus on “elite” (define that how you want) clientele, choosing whom they work with based on criteria that may exclude you. You have absolutely no say in how some guy you don’t know chooses to conduct his own illicit business, and he isn’t obligated to conduct that business like some other provider (who happens to be more kind). What on earth do some you accomplish with your interminable whining?

Agree. Hard pass. Fuck you too, bro. Next. I also avoid guys sticking their tongues out in photos. It’s a pose that says “I am trash.”

Many years ago I arranged to meet him at the Folsom Street Fair. I was underwhelmed by his personality (or lack thereof) and face (unfortunately for guys who refuse to provide face pics, this kind of rejection is a risk). I walked away.

Jesus dude, I’ve never been more turned on on this site. DM me 😘

If you are fucking a bottom, you are equals, and are working together toward mutual sexual satisfaction. You’ll probably both cum. His needs matter as much as yours. If you are fucking a sub, he is there to make the experience only about your satisfaction. His enjoyment comes from being of use to you. He needs to feel you in control.

I hire when I want fantasy experiences that I find difficult to get in hookups or dates. I’m a mid-40’s muscular daddy type (imagine stereotypical cop/firefighter vibe). I find it difficult to attract big, dominant, top men. In dating/hookup scenarios I mostly attract submissive guys and seem to scare off top men. So I hire. Daddy likes to be the little spoon sometimes.

For the most part I am pleased with photo representation. Things I have learned to watch out for/avoid: 1. Photos taken in weird angles, showing partial body parts. This is a trick used to cut out flaws. If you can’t mentally assemble the whole body in your mind, it’s because the provider doesn’t want you to. 2. Bad lighting is also a trick. Don’t fall for this. 3. Look for clues about the photo’s date (fashion, background, upload date). Using a five-year old photo usually means the guy isn’t proud of his current look. 4. Extreme musculature is hard to maintain. Expect the provider to have just a little bit more “flab” than that ripped beach photo. No one walks around with their abs flexed 100% of the time. 5. A provider’s marketing material (photos) are often indicative of his integrity. If your initial thought upon meeting is “you don’t look at all like I thought you would,” YOU SHOULD SAY SO AND FAST-WALK AWAY WITHOUT REGRET. You were lied to.

I typically hire when I want extreme fantasy experiences that I just can’t get from my relationships or hook ups. It sounds like you are hiring for just a run of the mill hook up or date experience. Given the anxiety you have in going after what many of us would consider a commonplace experience (a blowjob with a fuckbuddy or boyfriend), I wonder if you have ever considered therapy? Therapy exists so that we gain self-awareness and mastery of our own lives. I am glad you finally broke through and had a sexual experience, and I’m also glad you shared it with a good provider who took care of you. In the future, it is certainly possible to have more of that without having to pay for it. If that is what you want.

Size, attitude, and relentlessness.

Seriously, how many times do you think we need to see your face in every single thread? Literally no one else plasters a full-width photo ad in every single comment.

I really don’t see the point of responding to a profound existential question by stating the obvious (unless one is just trying to slip a promotion for one’s ad in every single thread in this entire website) The standard of beauty is whatever each individual accepts for themselves, unless they’re unwilling to think for themselves, and accept only what they see promoted in culture.

It turns out money doesn’t buy everything. The assertion that people don’t belong in the industry if they have aesthetic proclivities is just absurd. I have often wondered why self-proclaimed “unfuckable” sad-sacks don’t seek out similar men. Why place a premium on youth, fitness, and conventional beauty if those are the primary areas where you face the harshest rejection? Fat men idolizing fit men is just insane.

SF_StudXXL, now located in Houston, would get me there. Absolutely incredible experiences with that man.

Nothing ventured = nothing gained. You’ll never get to enact your fantasy with your fantasy guy if you don’t ask. Nothing you described is going to scare anyone. Go for it! If you’re going to pay, you might as well shoot for the moon.

I have hired “sides” in the past, but not on purpose. Please make your limitations easy to understand in your ad copy.

Agree. Only provide a deposit if you are trying to book an “all-star” provider who has a solid reputation. If you’re trying to book some random nobody and he asks for a deposit, he’s just trying to rip you off.

Anyone who asks such a childish, tactless question deserves brutal honesty in the response. The question is coercive. Surely the answer is already known.

Same. I hired a “premium” provider a few times. On the third hire he said “looks like you’re a regular, I’ll take $50 off.” I made good on the discount with more frequent hiring. He was the best escort I ever knew (moved away, sadly).

I provide professional design services and can most certainly turn down potential clients on whatever basis I see fit. “I don’t think this project is right for me, can I refer you to a colleague,” is an entirely legal form of professional rejection. And keep in mind, professions that are legal are bound by a “standard of care.” Illicit trades are bound only by what the participants see fit.

Escorting does not have a professional “standard of care” like other, legal, service providers (lawyers, plumbers, engineers, mechanics, doctors, and other licensed professionals). This means they can provide their services however the fuck they see fit. If a provider wants to see client photos, he can make that a condition of his services. This may reduce his customer pool, but may not actually reduce his business. If he continues to make money and has happy clients, what business is that of yours? Keep in mind, requesting escorting services on the internet has been but a blip in the history of male-male sex work. Before the internet, men had to negotiate these transactions in person, and rejection was just as much a risk.

Some of these guys need to feel physical attraction in order to perform, and requesting a photo is their way of ensuring that they can provide the service you want. Sending a G-rated photo is very low-risk. If that scenario isn’t acceptable to you, there are other providers who can do the job without regard for your appearance. Hire them.

KhalRico I recently spent two glorious hours with this beautiful provider. He was all top and was very comfortable being the man in control. He made me feel amazing. Scheduling was easy. He was happy to chat about interests to determine compatibility. And he was patient as we worked out a date. I paid for his rides (I hosted). His hourly rate was $375. He’s charming, intelligent, and emotionally accessible. I highly recommend him. He’s in San Francisco part time.

My partner and I had Sterling over last night for two 90 minute therapeutic massages. Sterling is absolutely gorgeous, and exceptionally capable. The massage was focused primarily on therapeutic needs and recovery from athletic training. However, Sterling‘s demeanor brought plenty of tenderness and sensuality into a very professional experience. I would happily hire him again for the sensual treatment. Sterling is an athlete with a thorough understanding of human anatomy, very strong hands, and solid intuition. I highly recommend him.

I hook up a fair amount in SF/Oakland. I have about ten fuck buds, with varying frequencies of meetings. I occasionally try out new guys, and let older connections go when the spark has faded for one of us. Occasionally I meet with a new guy who is emotionally vacant. But usually I am able to draw out emotional connection by being confident, vulnerable, and persistent in getting a guy to let loose. I typically try to get a sense of the other guy’s fantasies so I can see if we’re compatible. I don’t know if that’s helpful. It’s difficult to be vulnerable oneself if the other guy is guarded.

This is really the sort of thing a good psychotherapist can help with. He can be someone you can also pay to be real, open, and vulnerable with, but the outcome will be greater self awareness.