ShortCutie7

It’s funny, today I ordered bacon at a diner I’ve been going to for my entire life, and the waiter said “aren’t you Jewish?  I thought you couldn’t eat bacon!”  And my response was “if I kept kosher, I wouldn’t be able to eat here at all!”

I personally think that the whole concept of graduation is kind of silly (“congrats, you did the minimum to pass… now let’s have your family travel potentially crazy distances to watch you walk across a stage while someone says your name”), but I do think that there is a societal expectation around a decent gift, so I’d say $100 bare minimum.

On 5/21/2024 at 8:22 AM, pubic_assistance said:

I rarely see white people people smoking tobacco in NYC anymore. Years ago when you'd go out to a bar it seemed everyone smoked while inside drinking. Now you rarely see anyone. Just the occasional addict who slips outside to indulge.

If you do see people walking around smoking a cigarette, it's Asians. I am guessing the Tobacco companies saw the writing on the wall and moved their advertising to China.

The majority of smoking habits I see on a daily basis are 20-somethings  vaping or people smoking weed.

I agree with ShortCutie: It's unfortunate that the smell of weed is in the air everywhere now. I know lots of people smoke weed, as did I myself when I was younger....I just wish they were a little discreet about it. Changing times.

I HAVE seen plenty of people of all ethnicities/races (including white) smoking in NYC, but yes, it does seem like Chinese people (more than any other group) are the biggest offenders.  What’s baffling about the weed in the air is that you smell it without being anywhere near someone smoking it… this is not the case with tobacco smoke or vape.

Sounds like you worked your ass off to be accommodating to your friend and it still wasn’t enough for her- you did nothing wrong in this situation.  The pandemic has altered peoples’ brain chemistry in many ways (especially when it comes to things related to their health… myself included) and she’s not the same person you became friends with.

I regularly see people smoking in NYC (both cigarettes and weed).  I HATE the smell of weed so was not happy when it was legalized and now smell it everywhere, even sometimes from inside a car with windows shut and no smokers in sight, which is bizarre.  I actually don’t mind the smell of cigarette smoke, but am always surprised that it’s usually healthy-looking people who I see smoking.

I’d think a description of yourself would be sufficient so that there’s some amount of familiarity that the person the escort is meeting is the one who contacted him, as well as to alert the escort to anything major that could be a dealbreaker (ie I think it’s important that he knows how short I am).

27 minutes ago, crushme99 said:

But don't those repeated chats run the risk of him thinking you are a time-waster?  Much respect for your thoughtful comments and I certainly mean no insult.  Just curious.

I don’t think so… I made it very clear that I wasn’t looking for “now”.  The nature of my conversations weren’t time-wasting (they weren’t lengthy, I just took a reasonable amount of time to respond) and part of the purpose of this tactic was to eliminate guys who were aggressive etc.

5 hours ago, keroscenefire said:

There is height discrimination. Just met a short king who says that he travelled across town to an outcall only to be rejected at the door by the client because was short. He accurately has 5'7" on his profile and he's hot AF so their loss. 

Lmfao as a 5’3 guy, it’s hilarious how some guys have no perception of how the number translates to a human… so many guys have told me I was shorter than they were expecting 🤣

11 minutes ago, KensingtonHomo said:

I sympathize with your fears. It took me a long time to tame mine. Similar to @BaronArtz I approach sex as if everyone has every STI. So I do what I'm comfortable with. I'm not particularly scared of getting most STIs (though I never have) because I'm tested regularly and they're all treatable. If I'm going to bareback, I use PreP or condoms. 

I have two concerns with your point of view. One, is that you're denying yourself sex because of irrational fear. That's not good for you. There's no evidence of HIV being transmitted due to a cut in someone's mouth. HIV is actually a relatively hard infection to get - compared to chlamydia or giardia. So maybe you could talk to a counselor who will make you feel more confident. 

Second, HIV stigma is very real and very harmful to people living with HIV. We need to fight it internally and as a community. I know this is particularly challenging for those of us who are over 40 because we saw an entire generation decimated. But from PreP to ART, HIV is no longer a death sentence. And giving into irrational fear is harmful to ourselves and our community. By all means, use condoms, take PreP, what have you, but try to end the stigma. 

Thank you!  Part of the reason I hooked up with the undetectable guy in the first place was in an effort to actively fight the stigma in my mind (previously a poz status had been an automatic “no”).  I felt comfortable/safe with the science in my brain before the hookup, but not after the fact subconsciously.

Woooofff 🤤 

Just buddylisted him even though he’s not in NYC…

Yes, it’s inherently dangerous in that you’re alone (and often in a vulnerable position) with a stranger!  He could rob you, hurt you, or even kill you!  And beyond that, the potential embarrassment and/or illegality that comes with the encounter makes it less likely for the client to report the crime.

My vetting process on Grindr involved chatting over the course of several days.

My vetting process with an escort would involve ensuring he has multiple reviews by people who gave other reviews on RM and on here.  The reviews don’t necessarily have to be positive but it’s important that he look like his pics and not be deceitful.  For the one escort I have met, I was able to figure out his real-life identity and confirm that he was a real person with friends, family, etc.

5 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Yeah...I know it's not entirely logical.

Just can't do it with someone who I KNOW is infected. Total turn off.

 

You’re not alone!  I once had a very very mild/vanilla hookup with a guy who was undetectable… I was too scared to go anywhere near his cum, and my mind was racing for weeks afterwards, thinking that I could have caught something just from making out with him (what if we both had cuts in our mouths and he didn’t take his meds, etc).  This fear of STIs in general has essentially made me celibate for the last few years. I know my fear after that particular encounter was illogical, but I can’t deny that I had it and have to accept that it’s best for my mental health to simply avoid.

24 minutes ago, KeepItReal said:

Nope, it is not. Hyperinflation is what most economists and accountants would consider "sky rocketing." Hyperinflation is 50% increase every month. Now THAT is sky rocketing! 🤓

Now I see what you mean!  They are both significant differences but not comparable to each other.

3 hours ago, KeepItReal said:

Everyone agrees: prices have gone up. They always do. More now than in recent years, but let's not get too dramatic about "sky rocketing".  It's been far worse in other countries and they have not benefitted from wage increases like most Americans. Take a moment to count your blessings. 

You don’t think a 33% increase over the span of two years qualifies as “sky rocketing”?  How much do you think wages have gone in that same span of time?  Per the US inflation calculator, the increase from 2022 from 2024 should be 7.1%.

On 5/7/2024 at 11:00 PM, marylander1940 said:

Omfg, who is he???

2 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

You must never leave your apartment.

I used to take my wife and kids out to dinner for about $120 in 2019. Now the same meal at the same restaurants are closer to $200

Agreed, restaurant prices in NYC have skyrocketed, especially in the last couple of years.  The other day, a basic dinner for two in a casual Chinese restaurant was $80!  Two years ago, the exact same meal was less than $60.  Since food is where I spend the bulk of my income, I have been hit particularly hard.

46 minutes ago, SouthOfTheBorder said:

thanks for reminding me why I don’t use the hookup apps.  

it seems like for the hours & hours guys spend on those apps - they are relatively few good outcomes.  and yet, everyone is up to give it another shot, expecting something different ? 

The waste of time (and phone storage) is why I deleted Grindr a few weeks ago and Scruff a few months ago… just not worth it. 

11 minutes ago, Bokomaru said:

And here is the exact problem. We are not objective about our own looks. It’s easy to fool myself that “I haven’t changed much.” That’s probably what the dude you met thought about himself as well. 

I totally see what you mean- I should have clarified that there are certain pictures in which I look the same and others I do not… it depends on lots of factors like angle, lighting, haircut, attire, etc.

I haven’t seen this movie but now want to.  Both guys are very hot… Galitzine in the footage of “Mary and George” with darker hair is stunningly handsome imo.  He’s not as striking with the lighter hair in RWARB.

7 hours ago, MaybeMaybeNot said:

I don't understand the outdated picture thing.  I like older guys. No one has to be perfect. But don't set me up for one person and present another.  So annoying.  

In my hometown, the trend on Scruff is to use an old picture, then to have the following pictures be recent. I don't get it. 

Exactly!  The thing is, I wouldn’t have minded the outdated picture if he still looked basically the same, just a little older… but quite a bit changed since that picture.  I know I have pictures of myself from around 10 years ago in which I look basically the same as I do now.

I wouldn’t call any of these “horror stories”, but do have some negative experiences that come to mind.  Pre-pandemic, when I was actively looking to meet guys on Grindr, I was picky as to who I would message/respond to and then would vet hookups by chatting on and off for at least a few days prior to meeting.  I was lucky to have never been in a dangerous situation, due in part to these measures.  Anyway, here are some of these negative experiences:

1- A cute guy invites me to come to his place for a hookup. A few minutes before I arrive at his place, he sends a pic of his (slightly less cute) husband and asks if he can join us. I say yes despite not generally being into three-ways. When I arrive, the guy I had been messaging looks about 20 years older and 50 pounds heavier than his pics, but the husband looks like his pic so I went through with it. I honestly didn’t have a terrible time, but guys sending outdated and/or edited pics became a theme (which I won’t go into since it’s self-explanatory).

2- I’m giving a hot guy a bj in his living room and his (likely Orthodox Jewish female) roommate walks in, screams, and runs out.

3- Another theme: guys I [think I] have a great time with blocking me seconds after I leave.  Or better yet, blocking me or stopping responding/not giving an exact address right before we’re about to meet (I once waited on a guy’s corner for almost an hour before I realized he had ghosted me despite making plans).

4- I see a guy on Grindr who appears to be incredibly close, like 50 feet away.  I’m intrigued and we hit it off.  He then sends a face pic which I am not remotely attracted to, so I block him.  The very next day, we got on my building’s elevator together.  What an introduction to a new neighbor!

5- This one was completely my fault and I wonder if this guy could have become a boyfriend had our first encounter gone differently.  He was gorgeous and our chemistry via messaging was amazing.  In a nutshell, he asked if I could meet him for a quick drink and I should have said “not today” instead of “yes”… I arrived at the bar very sweaty/unkempt from a particularly physical day of work and didn’t realize I only had a few dollars in my wallet.  I fortunately noticed the latter before I ordered so only got a water.  I proceeded to be judgmental of my date for drinking “heavily” before his work function (I was an innocent 22 so my perception of heavy drinking was skewed).  I then walked my date to his function and he gave me a kiss on the cheek (which I could still feel), but I knew I’d never see him again.  Despite knowing his (relatively common) full name and vocation, I have not been able to track him down to apologize and ask for a second chance.

When I logged back in a few days ago, all but one of my messages had disappeared… I assumed it was because I had not logged in in several months.  It definitely had nothing to do with number of messages since I only had a handful in the first place.

As a 100% gay guy, I must say that the most passionate kisser I have ever been with (and in my top three for best chemistry in general) was a bi guy.

ETA: he was not a provider.

4 hours ago, Thomas_Belgium said:

Hi,

Did you try the flavoured condoms?

No, I’ve only had one encounter since posting this and chickened out- I ended up just licking his shaft a little… I do plan on using a flavored condom for my next encounter but would obviously have to

1- buy one and be prepared with it! 

2- ask the provider before putting it on him.

I’m sure his masculinity, like everyone else’s, depends on context and the situation… how “masc” could you be with a dick in an orifice?