SouthOfTheBorder

he made a poor choice for two reasons.  first, a small town in a foreign country with little to no expat community will ensure isolation.  second, if retiring abroad for economic reasons alone, meaning lower cost of living - then yes, I expect that would lead to someone feeling isolated because probably can’t afford to travel to return to home country whenever the urge hits.  Vietnam would be a deal-breaker given distance from US for me.
lots of positives about retiring abroad - but definitely not for everyone.  willingness & determination to learn the local language is essential no matter where you choose - if not, isolation will certainly follow no matter the location.  being close to a major airport also helps if the idea is extensive travel while in retirement or to return to home country at will. 

he made a poor choice for two reasons.  first, a small town in a foreign country with little to no expat community will ensure isolation.  second, if retiring abroad for economic reasons alone, meaning lower cost of living - then yes, I expect that would lead to someone feeling isolated because probably can’t afford to travel to return to home country whenever the urge hits.  Vietnam would be a deal-breaker given distance from US for me.
lots of positives about retiring abroad - but definitely not for everyone.  willingness & determination to learn the local language is essential no matter where you choose - if not, isolation will certainly follow no matter the location.  being close to a major airport also helps if the idea is extensive travel while in retirement or to return to home country at will. 

it’s easy to get visas for retirement for a variety of countries  - those visas are typically classified as “non-lucrative” and prohibit any work while in that country.  also usually requires becoming a tax-resident whether or not you live there most of the time. most require proving adequate financial resources necessary to support the visa-holder(s) in retirement. 
working & living in another country where you don’t have citizenship is another matter & not easy unless it’s a “digital-nomad” visa where the person works remote from a company based abroad.  
most countries don’t allow any visas for foreigners to live & work in the country - it’s viewed as taking a job away from someone that lives there.  there are some exceptions for highly-skilled workers that companies relocate for specific jobs. 

some Thermas tips 
1. go early - before it gets crowded.  Thermas is big and spread across 3 floors - it can be disorienting to arrive when filed with providers & clients. Plus - it’s competitive & the locals/regulars will always go for their favorites who are usually the most in-demand. Arriving when it’s crowded puts you at a disadvantage. I like to arrive at opening about 3p and watch as providers/ clients arrive. 
2. get familiar with the layout - because it is confusing.  I’d recommend a complete walk-through of the entire place at least once to take note of spa facilities & bar (first floor), all showers (first & second floors).  And the one private bathroom on first floor with a douche - the key to that bathroom is at reception and depending on the attendant, they may require you buy an attachment or if you have your own, then a tip to get the key.  Return the key asap as there may be others waiting.
3. there will always be guys hanging around the reception area & watching the clients locker room.  the game is to snag clients in that area & before they can see the other providers.  don’t fall for it.
4. like anywhere else - be cautious if anyone offers you anything to ingest. last time I was there, a provider offered candy between sessions - upon inspection it was potent edible marijuana. there are a couple guys there routinely selling things - I’d avoid them & whatever they have.  they are obvious & likely will make an approach at some point. 
5. the free cabins are fine for 30 minutes & the staff cleans continuously- but that doesn’t mean you’ll always get a fresh cabin.  If you want to make sure it’s clean - then private rooms. Again - getting there early ensures access to private rooms - when it’s crowded you may wait and sometimes they don’t open up at all. 
6. you dont need ID to get in - leave passports & valuables in your hotel safe.  I carry a set amount of cash, one credit card & phone.  I don’t leave those items in the locker - I carry them with me in a small pack at all times.  you need cash for the guys - everything else can be on credit card.
7. bring your own condoms & lube.  the condoms provided are the most basic & the lube is almost nonexistent.  the guys appreciate good quality condoms & it makes a big difference.  I like to bring my own antibacterial soap along too - just to be extra careful between sessions.  availability of soap in the showers is not a sure thing.
8. if smoking bothers you - avoid the area on the second floor where smokers congregate.  for people who smoke, it’s ideal place to engage the guys in a more relaxed environment.
9. don’t be afraid to say no.  you will be approached many times by guys who may not be your type.  there’s not pressure per se, but they are direct and don’t want to waste time.  they are used to no & it’s just part of the environment.  polite & firm gets the message across.  

10. you will pay for everything at the end & check your final bill carefully.  if buying drinks for providers, make sure you are clear at that time what you’re offering. an offer for a drink can easily turn into a full meal - and that’s fine if that is what you’re offering.  if spending a few hours there, the charges can add up quickly. 
11. don’t be afraid to tell the provider exactly what you want - they’re professionals and have seen it all, several times.  no reason to be embarrassed.  If there is a language barrier - use google translate or show them a video of the type of scene you want. a video is easiest way to get the clear message across & I’ve seen several clients do it.

 
 
 

agree
re; the screenshots I posted - one “client” left 34 reviews from a total of about 40 reviews that are visible. It could be one enthusiastic client.  It could also be someone who has figured out how to game it.  
if one client is leaving vast majority of reviews, it really doesn’t mean anything anyway
I definitely look at # of reviews first and do a quick check for any pattern of bad reviews.  If they make that cut, then go deeper into the patterns to see if the reviews look fake
these days - if anything looks suspect at all, it’s a no  

some Thermas tips 
1. go early - before it gets crowded.  Thermas is big and spread across 3 floors - it can be disorienting to arrive when filed with providers & clients. Plus - it’s competitive & the locals/regulars will always go for their favorites who are usually the most in-demand. Arriving when it’s crowded puts you at a disadvantage. I like to arrive at opening about 3p and watch as providers/ clients arrive. 
2. get familiar with the layout - because it is confusing.  I’d recommend a complete walk-through of the entire place at least once to take note of spa facilities & bar (first floor), all showers (first & second floors).  And the one private bathroom on first floor with a douche - the key to that bathroom is at reception and depending on the attendant, they may require you buy an attachment or if you have your own, then a tip to get the key.  Return the key asap as there may be others waiting.
3. there will always be guys hanging around the reception area & watching the clients locker room.  the game is to snag clients in that area & before they can see the other providers.  don’t fall for it.
4. like anywhere else - be cautious if anyone offers you anything to ingest. last time I was there, a provider offered candy between sessions - upon inspection it was potent edible marijuana. there are a couple guys there routinely selling things - I’d avoid them & whatever they have.  they are obvious & likely will make an approach at some point. 
5. the free cabins are fine for 30 minutes & the staff cleans continuously- but that doesn’t mean you’ll always get a fresh cabin.  If you want to make sure it’s clean - then private rooms. Again - getting there early ensures access to private rooms - when it’s crowded you may wait and sometimes they don’t open up at all. 
6. you dont need ID to get in - leave passports & valuables in your hotel safe.  I carry a set amount of cash, one credit card & phone.  I don’t leave those items in the locker - I carry them with me in a small pack at all times.  you need cash for the guys - everything else can be on credit card.
7. bring your own condoms & lube.  the condoms provided are the most basic & the lube is almost nonexistent.  the guys appreciate good quality condoms & it makes a big difference.  I like to bring my own antibacterial soap along too - just to be extra careful between sessions.  availability of soap in the showers is not a sure thing.
8. if smoking bothers you - avoid the area on the second floor where smokers congregate.  for people who smoke, it’s ideal place to engage the guys in a more relaxed environment.
9. don’t be afraid to say no.  you will be approached many times by guys who may not be your type.  there’s not pressure per se, but they are direct and don’t want to waste time.  they are used to no & it’s just part of the environment.  polite & firm gets the message across.  

10. you will pay for everything at the end & check your final bill carefully.  if buying drinks for providers, make sure you are clear at that time what you’re offering. an offer for a drink can easily turn into a full meal - and that’s fine if that is what you’re offering.  if spending a few hours there, the charges can add up quickly. 
11. don’t be afraid to tell the provider exactly what you want - they’re professionals and have seen it all, several times.  no reason to be embarrassed.  If there is a language barrier - use google translate or show them a video of the type of scene you want. a video is easiest way to get the clear message across & I’ve seen several clients do it.

 
 
 

scammers acting as providers is a frequent topic on many threads here
they have many different ways to scam & get money from targets 
the threats are very real & it’s way more common than anyone thinks - the vast majority never get reported and never show up in any reviews. buyer beware 

some Thermas tips 
1. go early - before it gets crowded.  Thermas is big and spread across 3 floors - it can be disorienting to arrive when filed with providers & clients. Plus - it’s competitive & the locals/regulars will always go for their favorites who are usually the most in-demand. Arriving when it’s crowded puts you at a disadvantage. I like to arrive at opening about 3p and watch as providers/ clients arrive. 
2. get familiar with the layout - because it is confusing.  I’d recommend a complete walk-through of the entire place at least once to take note of spa facilities & bar (first floor), all showers (first & second floors).  And the one private bathroom on first floor with a douche - the key to that bathroom is at reception and depending on the attendant, they may require you buy an attachment or if you have your own, then a tip to get the key.  Return the key asap as there may be others waiting.
3. there will always be guys hanging around the reception area & watching the clients locker room.  the game is to snag clients in that area & before they can see the other providers.  don’t fall for it.
4. like anywhere else - be cautious if anyone offers you anything to ingest. last time I was there, a provider offered candy between sessions - upon inspection it was potent edible marijuana. there are a couple guys there routinely selling things - I’d avoid them & whatever they have.  they are obvious & likely will make an approach at some point. 
5. the free cabins are fine for 30 minutes & the staff cleans continuously- but that doesn’t mean you’ll always get a fresh cabin.  If you want to make sure it’s clean - then private rooms. Again - getting there early ensures access to private rooms - when it’s crowded you may wait and sometimes they don’t open up at all. 
6. you dont need ID to get in - leave passports & valuables in your hotel safe.  I carry a set amount of cash, one credit card & phone.  I don’t leave those items in the locker - I carry them with me in a small pack at all times.  you need cash for the guys - everything else can be on credit card.
7. bring your own condoms & lube.  the condoms provided are the most basic & the lube is almost nonexistent.  the guys appreciate good quality condoms & it makes a big difference.  I like to bring my own antibacterial soap along too - just to be extra careful between sessions.  availability of soap in the showers is not a sure thing.
8. if smoking bothers you - avoid the area on the second floor where smokers congregate.  for people who smoke, it’s ideal place to engage the guys in a more relaxed environment.
9. don’t be afraid to say no.  you will be approached many times by guys who may not be your type.  there’s not pressure per se, but they are direct and don’t want to waste time.  they are used to no & it’s just part of the environment.  polite & firm gets the message across.  

10. you will pay for everything at the end & check your final bill carefully.  if buying drinks for providers, make sure you are clear at that time what you’re offering. an offer for a drink can easily turn into a full meal - and that’s fine if that is what you’re offering.  if spending a few hours there, the charges can add up quickly. 
11. don’t be afraid to tell the provider exactly what you want - they’re professionals and have seen it all, several times.  no reason to be embarrassed.  If there is a language barrier - use google translate or show them a video of the type of scene you want. a video is easiest way to get the clear message across & I’ve seen several clients do it.

 
 
 

For those in search of a real massage & more by handsome masculine guys in Bangkok - Arena is the place for you.
Upon entering, you will be greeted by the lineup from which to choose. It can feel pressured the first time, but doesn't need to be that way.  You can take a seat, chat with the manager who speaks English and weigh the options.
the guys are working out in a basic gym setup that looks a little like a prison yard.  Just the right amount of dirty & sexy.
The rooms are private & with showers.
After 5 visits - highly recommend. They deliver.  Walkable from most hotels near Silom.
 
 

LOL - much prefer someone with a strong opinion vs the passive/aggressive types.
and prefer those who speak to the subject - at least they’re contributing whether others agree or not.
the worst are the passive/aggressive who lurk around (several forums - not just this one) and live to pick apart opinions or real experiences posted by others, while offering none of their own. the constant negativity appears fueled by jealousy as they often target those who are well-traveled & having fun, then posting about it.
perhaps Pride events or something similar would be helpful for those caught in a cycle of depression - to actually experience something in the real world vs just reading about it here. 
the internet, unfortunately provides ample outlets for negativity and further decline.  very sad indeed for those afflicted 

it feels like “scamming” or people actively doing dishonest or harmful things using online platforms is accelerating.  there are more perpetrators looking for victims because it’s just easier online - and the ease of which many invite strangers into their homes, typically when they are alone & most vulnerable.
there’s nothing wrong with an abundance of caution however that works for each person in context of risk tolerance.  and there’s a big difference between a mediocre provider appointment or getting short-changed vs getting robbed/assaulted or blackmailed.  while the chances are slim this will happen, play the game long enough & with frequency - something unpleasant will happen.  the idea is to minimize the chances for something to go sideways. 
I think the best vet is to hire someone with a known public profile - someone that has a social media presence or other.  very unlikely for someone to risk their reputation on small stuff.  
risk-tolerance definitely changes over time & when you have more to lose. I’d never invite an unknown person into my home these days for whatever reason.

dayuse.com is your friend - discounted hotel rooms during day hours when trouble is less likely to happen
 
 

If the mountain won’t come to Mohammed….

contact a lawyer first.  dont listen to any advice here.  

these type events used to be free-spirited & fun, before crystal meth took over.  
after crystal use was normalized & went mainstream- the vibe became super aggressive, bitchy & 100% sex.  And that was on Day 1.  After a few days of “partying” it just gets exponentially worse & no fun to be around whatsoever 
btw - the insatiable desire for sex created by crystal never actually gets satisfied, no matter how much sex the user has. it can never be enough.  almost every person I’ve known using it has told me they know how to handle it - and inevitably gets messy - they're just not aware
if you can tolerate hundreds of rude drugged-out zombies - then maybe the parties would be fun.  there seems to less of it during day parties tho

LOL - much prefer someone with a strong opinion vs the passive/aggressive types.
and prefer those who speak to the subject - at least they’re contributing whether others agree or not.
the worst are the passive/aggressive who lurk around (several forums - not just this one) and live to pick apart opinions or real experiences posted by others, while offering none of their own. the constant negativity appears fueled by jealousy as they often target those who are well-traveled & having fun, then posting about it.
perhaps Pride events or something similar would be helpful for those caught in a cycle of depression - to actually experience something in the real world vs just reading about it here. 
the internet, unfortunately provides ample outlets for negativity and further decline.  very sad indeed for those afflicted 

these type events used to be free-spirited & fun, before crystal meth took over.  
after crystal use was normalized & went mainstream- the vibe became super aggressive, bitchy & 100% sex.  And that was on Day 1.  After a few days of “partying” it just gets exponentially worse & no fun to be around whatsoever 
btw - the insatiable desire for sex created by crystal never actually gets satisfied, no matter how much sex the user has. it can never be enough.  almost every person I’ve known using it has told me they know how to handle it - and inevitably gets messy - they're just not aware
if you can tolerate hundreds of rude drugged-out zombies - then maybe the parties would be fun.  there seems to less of it during day parties tho

LOL - much prefer someone with a strong opinion vs the passive/aggressive types.
and prefer those who speak to the subject - at least they’re contributing whether others agree or not.
the worst are the passive/aggressive who lurk around (several forums - not just this one) and live to pick apart opinions or real experiences posted by others, while offering none of their own. the constant negativity appears fueled by jealousy as they often target those who are well-traveled & having fun, then posting about it.
perhaps Pride events or something similar would be helpful for those caught in a cycle of depression - to actually experience something in the real world vs just reading about it here. 
the internet, unfortunately provides ample outlets for negativity and further decline.  very sad indeed for those afflicted 

Yes, it’s inherently dangerous in that you’re alone (and often in a vulnerable position) with a stranger!  He could rob you, hurt you, or even kill you!  And beyond that, the potential embarrassment and/or illegality that comes with the encounter makes it less likely for the client to report the crime.
My vetting process on Grindr involved chatting over the course of several days.
My vetting process with an escort would involve ensuring he has multiple reviews by people who gave other reviews on RM and on here.  The reviews don’t necessarily have to be positive but it’s important that he look like his pics and not be deceitful.  For the one escort I have met, I was able to figure out his real-life identity and confirm that he was a real person with friends, family, etc.

it does feel like many of these Pride “events” are hyper-sexualized & pushing an agenda vs the original intent  
I don’t think it’s productive to have sex openly in public spaces as some sort of a statement.  It becomes a spectacle and works against the community.  
rampant drug use & alcohol at these events doesn’t help either.  it’s a perfect storm for the backlash we are experiencing now

Folsom always seemed a little desperate to me for whatever reason. Dore Alley in SF was more fun - smaller & more local.
Agree w @BenjaminNicholas - Black Party and other similar have turned into crystal meth events. Not everyone, but enough that there is a very different energy & it’s not nice. 
 

yes - that was his name !

Maybe it was TOny?

it does feel like many of these Pride “events” are hyper-sexualized & pushing an agenda vs the original intent  
I don’t think it’s productive to have sex openly in public spaces as some sort of a statement.  It becomes a spectacle and works against the community.  
rampant drug use & alcohol at these events doesn’t help either.  it’s a perfect storm for the backlash we are experiencing now

I was at Thermas last night.  They had one of the private parties last night so they had a soft closing at 11p, meaning nobody was asking people to leave, but almost all working guys were gone by 10:30p and major clean-up had begun.  They advertise the parties start at 11p and go until 3p the next day.  
I don’t think there is much overlap between the two crowds that go the the night parties and regular sauna hours.  The guys really had no complaints about the parties, they just adjusted and seem used to it.
I arrived yesterday about 3;30p and it was very active - more so than I remember at same time on previous visits.  It seems like the guys have almost completely changed with many of the regulars either have gone back to home countries for a bit or have just moved on.  Only a few familar faces compared to last visit a couple months ago.  And the guys there now seem to be consistently a bit older, more masculine/macho types.  I didn’t see any early 20s, it was more like most were early 30s or appeared that way.
There seems to be confusion among staff when parties are being held - a few weren’tsure there was one happening last night.  After a few minutes back & forth they got it straight.
it seems more clean than before too - the parties seem to have forced a more thorough cleaning protocol.
the men were friendly as usual, all quoted 50euros for their time and it was great.  Still the best sauna imo in terms of quality & quality of men, costs, safety/security and ease of access.  The parties don’t really change much for vast majority of clients although I always liked the late mornings & afternoons there.
Mainly Brazilians yesterday with a Venezuelans, Colombians and a few Dominicans in the mix. 

certainly !  
next up, deposits & condoms