SouthOfTheBorder

I recently bought a new car, thus the example. I wouldn’t go into a dealership without an initial conversation w the sales person. And wouldn’t agree to an appointment and hope for the best - I’m not a Tesla customer so whatever their rules are, they don’t apply. And no, I wouldn’t wait more than 4-6 hours for anyone in a basic sales or service capacity to return my inquiry. We’re not talking about highly skilled surgeons or trial lawyers in these examples. In the provider context, I’m never looking for now - but frequently same day or within a day or two. A delay of more than 4-6 hours tells me the provider is busy and I should look elsewhere, whether or not that provider is someone I really want to see or not. I’ve found letting go of my expectations re; exact hires and being more open to what comes to me as relatively easy is usually a pleasant surprise. I view every interaction w provider as a decision point. How they handle inquires and timely response tells me volumes about what I can expect in-person.

while “timely” is a flexible concept - almost all successful people I know in either sales or service oriented businesses are focused on almost immediate response. if I call a salesperson at a car dealership to buy a new vehicle - I’m not going to wait 4 hours plus for a response. In context, I’m calling to spend money and put income into the salespersons pocket. I can just as easily go to the next person who understands the value of a client inquiry. btw - I managed a large fortune 50 sales team and I’ve seen it all in terms of excuses & justifications for poor client communications. I used to get calls from prospective clients ready to spend money & telling me the salesperson hasn’t called them back after several hours. Truly amazing to me then & I would immediately assign to another person who would at least acknowledge the inquiry and schedule time to get back to prospect. the lesson; some people are just clueless and can be their own worst enemy the best always rise to the top with no complaints - they just keep moving and making money. in a market with many choices available, isn’t it easier if I select those who make it easy for me ? I am, after all looking for a pleasant overall experience, which includes the inquiry & scheduling process. And I find that those who deliver a seamless/easy inquiry & scheduling tend to be the best actual in-person experience too. It’s all connected

dealbreakers from client perspective, any reference to PNP in the ad any visual clues re: PNP - there’s a look any visual clues to a disorganized environment any mention of “anything goes” or similar risky behavior no reviews or unacceptable ratio of neg reviews (more than 10% NO) more than 4-6 hours time to respond to inquiry pressure to book immediately deposits younger than 26 hubris providers soliciting on hookup apps - not professional

not sure if this is intentional trolling, or just ignorance ? perhaps a combination of both - pretty common these days

that’s a ridiculous premise.

he is a real legit massage therapist who allows touch & admiration. the massage is excellent, although I found him a bit removed compared to others offering erotic services. i got the impression his thing is younger guys for whatever that’s worth that said, well worth the money if a skilled therapeutic massage by a very sexy hung guy is the objective

this a situation where the providers appear to have established the norm of “same day appointments only” seems like many providers have experienced client flakes and now majority of profiles have some sort of language about same day only - at least that’s my current sense of the industry at large based on regular browsing rentm. yes, there are a few providers that say they want notice - yet, the norm has been clearly laid out that same day is the accepted practice. my own preference is to plan ahead, but I have been burned too by flaking providers and then no last minute replacement. So, I’m of the mind to go along with same day norms as it just seems to minimize complications. I have no problem scheduling future dates w providers where I have relationships. The 2-3 providers I’ve known long term don’t have any sort of prerequisites to schedule: I think they’ve been in the business long enough to vet potential clients on initial contacts and work towards maintaining the valuable repeat clients with whatever it takes. Those guys make my interactions with them effortless, which is the entire idea in a service based business.

My other ppv is those who want to take group photos when dining out & then they post it to social media somewhere. It’s a really tricky situation because to object to a photograph can really sour the mood at the table. I do not understand why this has become accepted behavior ? the bright spot is it seems to becoming less of a thing as perceptions around social media are changing I don’t participate in social media and thats intentional. I don’t like to get on a soapbox about it, but at the same time I do value my privacy. Anything on social media is the opposite of having any sort of privacy. Why would I want anyone to know where I had dinner & with who ?

agree. Within a specific industry w established norms, there is only so much someone can do re; changing those established norms to suit the providers wishes. Deposits, as an example, are not accepted norm. And while a provider may have dozens of valid reasons for deposits, it doesn’t change the fact that most clients will simply move on to someone that doesn’t require a deposit. I’ve hired literally hundreds of providers over 30 years and never paid a deposit. Ive never flaked on a provider, so maybe I’m an outlier. I’m not suggesting a providers reasons for deposits are invalid - just that it likely turns a lot of prospective clients off that may very well be good clients. Reducing the potential pool of clients certainly comes with an opportunity cost.

when viewed in total; offerings, cost, safety & access - the clear winner for me is BCN. Literally something for everyone at decent prices w relative safety. Termas isn’t perfect, but closest thing to a Brazilian sauna outside of Brasil NYC & Miami crazy expensive compare to other cities. Rio & SP - amazing but safety is an issue. Madrid lacks paid sauna scene. Berlin - cliche, although if kink is the desire it makes sense No experience in Brussels. Not a fan of Amsterdam

unfortunately this is a sign of the times. I really don’t care if people are on their phones in a restaurant- as along as they aren’t taking pictures, or otherwise disrupting any other guest dining experience. And, it doesn’t really work if they are so distracted to cause problems for staff. When dining out w others, I do not carry my phone. Extremely rude imo - why bother with other people if you can’t actually be present ? I would go for a total phone ban in museums and Broadway shows. I’ve been behind people texting nonstop through a performance. Again - why bother if you can’t be present ?

correct - the political industrial complex doesn’t give a shit about ideology, right/wrong, conservative /liberal. It’s all about money and how they can monetize the people that remain engaged in the discourse. The more outraged & angry, the more likely to engage with their monetized media offerings. It’s like crack for those addicted….just keep them using at all costs and with no solutions. And when they get people to the point of self-righteous indignation, well..,then you are totally captured. how does that feel ?

I continue to be fascinated by those addicted to political discussions Best thing I ever did was turn off the news and disengage from all things political. It’s all a scam and you are the targets.

agree. the assumption seems to be that an inquiry about rate is somehow binding for a subsequent immediate hire. given rates are all over the place these days, an inquiry is essential to know if we’re even in the ballpark my process to hire a new provider never happens in the moment and that’s intentional. typically the tone & type of response from a provider tells me a lot more about their disposition and professionalism than I can see in an ad. if someone seems bothered, then my gut tells me they won’t be great experience in person and that’s a no. there are plenty of charming professionals that will welcome a legitimate question about rates & other necessary details

I read that forum for laughs a few times each year - basically what not to do when traveling abroad. some of the mishaps posted are really quite something usually older gay men in search of younger/desperate locals and willing to put all common sense aside in that pursuit. kind of like one of those bad reality shows where you know how it’s gonna end up

lots of US ads on rentmen show rates - not sure whether admin actively removes them tho. the rate thing seems a little ridiculous as the entire RM concept is about hiring “pornstars” or “masseurs” does not showing rates somehow make it less about hiring ?

gayguides.com its entertaining in small doses & completely unmoderated (but very little traffic) - so the folks over there can post whatever they want, including their political manifestos. some of the more prolific posters seem to have migrated there and, there also seems to be a number of people active on this site & that one who are pushing for the reinstatement of the political forum here. I don’t get it - they have a place to rant on gayguides, but don’t seem satisfied with that option for whatever reason. Unless they just want a larger audience for their performative posts ?? And there’s always Facebook for those who can’t disconnect from political discussions - plenty of argumentative folks over there all the time. the obsession with partisan politics/talking points is the sure sign of a simple mind. get a life, read a book, learn a new language, start a hobby, volunteer - anything that is actually productive. anything but divisive political rhetoric. or maybe just enjoy a site about escorts without your political thoughts

the same exact statement can be made for many goods & services marketed online. when booking hotels as an example, customers can get dozens of online options with all the details, yet some will still call the hotel directly to ask basic questions answered in many other places. It’s human nature and there’s no way around that. then factor in that by nature of the escort services offered, there are always going to be timewasters making contact for some sort of cheap thrill/fetish - that, unfortunately goes with the territory too. and - the mentality required for escort work is a little like professional salespeople, who routinely face rejection as part of the job. If the rejection gets into a salespersons head for whatever reason, it can be a short lived career. the best salespeople understand rejection is part of the game and it doesn’t phase them at all.

I’m not a member there, but I do look at the forums sometimes. In general, that site has very little traffic & it’s poorly maintained. Sometimes only 3-4 people logged on. And it’s usually the same 3-4 people arguing about their cost of boys in a Brazilian sauna or Thai bar which amounts to a difference of about $10. My sense is the political forums there aren’t interesting to the toxic crew because they don’t get the same strong reactions as they did here. So, that tells us that in absence of an audience for the provocative postings, the political forums just whither away - and it seems to be all about getting a reaction ? and it looks like all the people who want the political forum reinstated here are also active members on the other site. Why don’t you just post your political stuff there and give it a rest here ??

don’t do it - it will go down just as previously. as is, many of the more toxic have moved to the other site….and good riddance the current trend in trolling is to take a relatively benign news topics and then politicize the fuck out of it in the most obtuse way possible., creating a provocative point of disagreement from nothing there are thousands of other places to talk politics - why here ???

I spend months at a time in southern Europe - I’ve yet to meet anyone that self-identifies with a political party as Americans do. Meaning, Americans will say I’m a Democrat or Republican as central to their very being….it’s very common. Our experiences may differ as I just don’t see the same polarization in Europe as in the US. My European friends think political discussions are the height of boorish behavior. All opinion and doesn’t go anywhere. Isn’t there something better to talk about than corrupt politicians ?

I fail to see the American obsession with politics. It’s boring and all the discussions, facts, theories & arguments will not change one thing. The only things you can do that matter are 1)vote 2)donate 3)start a grass roots organization to drive change Instead, most Americans simply want to blather on about everything under creation with moral certainty of their position and talk over whomever they’re trying to convince of whatever the polarization of America will be its own destruction as for politics here - aren’t there like a million websites to engage in political trolling ? why do it here when this is one of the very few places to discuss the specific common subject matter ….and it’s not politics

this issue can largely be avoided by posting hourly rates on the various platforms designed for providers. If a provider makes the choice to use social networking sites that prohibit provider ads, then don’t be surprised by the troublesome “clients” that come through on those platforms not posting rates on RM, masseurfinder, etc is my pet peeve because it forces me to ask the question - and with recent price increases in major cities, it does make a difference in my decisions: $300 is a yes, $500 is a no. I’m not a rate negotiator, but it seems like smart advertising to state clearly if rates are non-negotiable or if the provider is open to some sort of discount situation such as multiple hours, military, etc I feel like small subset of providers avoid posting hourly rates in the hope of engaging the client and then persuading/guilting them into a meeting. why not just post the rates and make it clear ? I’d also suggest making it clear if the provider can host and a general description of the environment (downtown luxury hotel, etc). The idea is to answer basic potential client questions and thus, avoid unnecessary interaction w the provider.

it’s a problem actually - lists of donors are frequently sold and you will soon be inundated with phone calls, emails & mailings from every organization you can imagine. The dark underbelly of charitable giving is that much of it run by “for-profit” entities that are are hired by the non-profits. And those “for-profit” fundraisers take a percentage from any additional giving they develop, turning it into a rather cutthroat business operation cloaked in “giving” the best way to give is anonymously with the understanding that none of your personal information will be accessible and give directly to the desired charitable organization via their Development Director. Never give to organizations representing a charitable group. And don’t use credit cards either as the credit companies flag charitable giving and then sell your information about the transaction. This is a very slippery slope when you’re actually trying to do something good. i learned the hard way