SouthOfTheBorder

wise words. everything you post is spot-on. I’d say there is alot to be learned from your wisdom and willingness to share. the guys who are starting out and/or struggling can make it so difficult, yet you make it look easy. Of course, it’s not easy and that’s what sets you apart from the rest, IMO

I’ve been doing this for 35 years, hundreds of meetings, in many countries around the world. I’ve been asked for a deposit exactly one time. It was in NYC and with a provider I knew well who had just switched to a deposit business model. Since I knew him well, I went along with it knowing there was zero risk on my part and he was testing out the deposit model. Guess what ? He no longer requires deposits because he lost income - new clients wouldn’t do it. The main point is that in the provider/client context - deposits are not customary and very very few providers operate on that model. So, to decide to operate outside the customary model, the provider will get push-back. It’s baked it - meaning its absolutely going to happen. If the provider is ok with the push-back & loss of potential clients & corresponding income - then by all means, go for it. Try to change the industry. Just my opinion - but I think the only time a deposit model would work is if there is a very famous & known provider where the demand for appointments is so high and the rate is corresponding high - so deposits would be a way to minimize lost opportunity if people flake when there are others waiting in line to pay for same appointment time. That would only happen in NYC, London, LA, Las Vegas or Miami. It doesn’t work in small markets where demand is less and clients don’t want to pay at all. Creating barriers in small markets with people that don’t want to pay, is a recipe for frustration & no money. This isn’t complicated - it basic economics re: supply/demand & marketing online services given known human behavior in context of markets, clients & competition. It could be for any sort of business - same sort of analysis.

good question the recent coverage of Bezos & Sanchez is a paid public relations campaign. It’s not a random event & the press coverage you see is not random either. The entire thing was a carefully orchestrated paid media campaign with lots of money behind it. And it’s thinly disguised as random news. They paid to be on the cover of Vogue magazine and for the article inside. They paid for all the mentions in adjacent traditional media & social media. Of course, there is some spillover because they’ve gone to such lengths and cost ensure they capture the public attention- that in and of itself is now newsworthy because it’s so unusual. And that’s the point - this insanely rich couple aren’t satisfied with their extreme privilege & position. They want more. That’s what’s gross & disgusting about it. It’s an insatiable hunger for more money & more fame. I’m not on any social media - yet, the Bezos/Sanchez “news” pops up in Apple News feed. I’m not looking for it. It’s been hard to avoid it actually. I didn’t read the fawning Vogue article - but rather the Slate piece about the reaction to the article & pics. That’s what’s interesting- the analysis of why they would do it and the general public reaction. It’s not about a super rich celebrity couple - it’s more a critique of American culture and why does the average person worship these people when they are destroying the very basics of our society. Amazon is an unsustainable business model for a number of reason too lengthy to discuss here. The more basic proposition is that Amazon put the final nail in the coffin of American Main Street shops because now it’s far more convenient to make a few clicks to buy vs patronizing a local retailer. If you think this is an abstract concept - just visit a European city and you will see thriving small local stores in every city of every size. Amazon is in Europe, but it has not devastated the local retail - they still prefer to shop in stores and buy local. You do not see buildings like in NYC where it’s flooded with dozens & dozens of packages. Amazon is a cancer devouring American retail. When this becomes a common thought, it’s way too late. Bezos represents the billionaire class so much that’s it’s a cliche of a very wealthy mid-life crisis, complete with a surgical second wife and some super cringe pictures and desperate for attention. Obviously, money does not buy happiness - just look at those two. https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/11/jeff-bezos-and-lauren-sanchez-vogue-photoshoot.html

If a provider has been burned repeatedly by flakes, no-shows, cancellations etc - it’s easy to understand why they would try a deposit only model. But, that will cause a loss of potential clients who just won’t contact that provider. Then it’s up to the provider to decide if the deposit model is worth it vs the loss of potential clients. I checked out your RM profile. Super sexy & handsome with many 5 star reviews. Yet, no mention of any deposits in your profile. If that’s a requirement, and is a dealbreaker for you - why not mention it there ?

Correct in most cases, just not this one. Bezos & Sanchez are actively pursuing publicity/press coverage in attempt to shape public opinion. This appears to be Ms Sanchez doing as it was never a thing for Bezos previously. In doing so, they open themselves up to all kinds of criticism that wouldn’t be an issue otherwise. They invited the scorn, criticism & ridicule. And it was predictable. It’s not enough for these people to just be insanely rich, they want more attention and to be more famous - and the Vogue article & pictures are tone-deaf and in poor taste considering much of the American public struggles financially.

I would not make that assumption. I’d bet the majority never make it your website & most don’t even bother to read your complete profile on RM. It’s just typical online behavior. It’s a major barrier to anyone (or company) selling anything online. The people who would read your RM profile & then click thru to your website and read all of that is a very tiny percentage of users. This is not unique to you & your ad - it’s just how people consume & comprehend online information. And in the case of providers on RM, I’d also bet most users look at the pics only. When a I ask a provider for location in an initial inquiry, I’m not asking for an address. I’m asking for a general description of neighborhood so I can figure out how easy it is for me to get there. If I’m in Upper Manhattan and a provider tells me they’re in specific neighborhood in Brooklyn, then no - I’m just not willing to travel that far and I couldn’t make that decision without knowing where provider is located. If they tell me Hells Kitchen, that’s easy and location would not be an issue. Some providers give general descriptions in profiles like “located in West Hollywood” and that eliminates the question about location for me….because I actually read the profiles. tbh - when I see a provider ad that has a heavy travel schedule, I don’t message those people because if they’re only in a place where I could meet them for 2 days, it’s just not worth the effort because of the general trend of providers not responding timely. You may respond timely, but that’s not typical in my experience. It looks like much of your frustration seems to be because of moving around a lot in smaller cities with fewer people looking for providers, who don’t want to pay. It makes sense to look for opportunities in smaller cities and less competition, it just brings a different set of issues than someone who may be permanently based in LA. The deposit thing is not a right or wrong. However, it creates a barrier for most potential clients who just won’t do it. The key to successful marketing of any product or service is to make it easy for potential customers to buy the service. And if the vast majority of your competitors make it easier for customers to buy their service, then your business will suffer in comparison. It’s not about you, your ad, your skills as a provider - it’s just human behavior to take the easier option.

it’s kind of pathetic - one of richest men in the world & he could do so many good & necessary things w the vast wealth. Instead, he marries someone that looks like a Real Housewife and they’re just chasing publicity to be even more famous. the paid Vogue article & pictures look more than a little desperate. She’s got no style or class, whatsoever. That picture is so re-touched and filtered - she must be a trainwreck in person. She looks demonic

agree. I identify as gay and have a husband. I love sex with men. I enjoy being around women and a sexy woman definitely gets my attention, although I haven’t had sex with a woman in years - I would definitely do it the right circumstances. It’s all about an energy exchange at the end. As for male sexual fluidity - I like the Brazilian concept of “Brotheragem” - meaning brotherhood sex and could be between gay/straight/bi men, in any combination of men who are just interested in mutual pleasure. It’s just about pleasure & the body.

It’s hard to say “mental illness” vs some other mild disorders affecting many people who lead normal lives with few problems. In her case, it was anything but a normal existence. So maybe relatively mild disorders were magnified by being in her situation. There’s no doubt she was manipulated by almost everyone around her for their own agendas. When the entire establishment was actively plotting against her, hacking her phones, spying on her personal life and trying to portray her as unstable/erratic/mentally unwell - then that has to have an effect at some point. Did she learn how to play the game & retaliate ? - absolutely yes. All you need to know about the circumstances around her death was that Camilla could never be Queen if Diana was still alive. Never, ever. Draw your own conclusions about what happened next. Is it a conspiracy theory to think she may have been intentionally murdered to eliminate her permanently as a threat to the Crown ? Yes, because there’s no proof it happened. Did the establishment remove Harry & Meghan’s security when they were most vulnerable and they knew there were credible threats on their lives ? Yes, they absolutely did that and it’s never been in dispute. They are capable of anything to preserve their position, privilege and the Crown - permanent elimination of enemies of the Crown has always been an option for them. Naive to think it can’t happen in modern times. The ghosts in this season aren’t necessary and detracts for the rest of it.

that makes sense - I haven’t heard anything about it in a long time. thank you

Johnson’s FTL has something for everyone & I don’t think any one body type or ethnicity dominates. It’s smart because customers have different preferences, so they make sure a wide range of types are performing. There are a few bodybuilder types, but that’s definitely not a majority of the guys. There are a lot of Latinos at Johnson’s FTL because there are alot of Latinos in Ft Lauderdale & Miami. They typically only allow 3-4 dancers on the stage at any given time and those guys perform for maybe ten minutes, then the next group comes. Some of the dancers arrive early/leave early, some arrive late & stay till closing…and a few are there opening to closing time. Stay long enough and your type will come along - probably several The dancers overall very friendly & move around the room when off-stage chatting with customers. I’ve never experienced pressure to tip or anything aggressive. There’s also a side bar area of Johnson’s FTL that opens earlier than main room. I like the midweek nights the best - crowded enough to feel busy, but not so packed that you can’t move. Lots of dancers every night. Always a good time when going with the expectation of no actual sex. It’s really a fun crowd and great to go with like minded friends. Friday & Saturday nights are super packed.

this happens a lot - providers posting ads in a city where they aren’t located and have no plans to go there. And a delayed response of a day or more is also common. the guys posting in other cities may be just to gauge client interest for a possible future trip. Or, they just want the inquires to build a bigger list of contacts. And I suppose some could be doing it in hopes of getting a deposit as a scam. an inquiry about availability, rate & location is not an obligation to schedule an appointment. And I don’t think it requires any explanation if the client decides not to book. I’ve decided not to book some providers after an initial inquiry just based on providers attitude & tone in the text. If the rate is more than I want to pay, I respect the providers rate & don’t want to get into a bargaining session. A simple thank you is all that’s required if something in the providers response causes a client not to schedule. If the text exchange inquiry is more than 1 or 2 texts from client, then an explanation is appropriate because now the client is wasting providers time.

Is the Bb venue being discussed Paddles in Chelsea ? Not my favorite place, but it’s kind of take it or leave in NYC due to lack of options. Seems like I remember one small bathroom only or maybe 2 - but not anywhere near what’s needed in that sort of venue & with the crowds when it’s busy. Maybe it’s changed ? - haven’t been there since before Covid.

if you’re building a trip around visiting one of those 2 clubs - FTL for the win without question. Johnson’s FTL is still great, friendly dancers, excellent mix re; types of guys & safe. It’s also located in a safe area w lots of other nightlife. Two other strip clubs if you tire of Johnsons’s, Club Ft Lauderdale (bathhouse/sauna) which is enormous, busy & clean. Beaches are very close & beautiful. And several dozen providers working between Ft Lauderdale & Miami if that is of interest. Johnson’s FTL open 6 nights of the week vs 4 nights Tampa. I’ve found some of the guys at FTL will make appointments to see clients off-site and not super complicated because most of them live in S Florida vs being flown in for a weekend in Tampa. These guys don’t advertise anywhere so it’s an in-person only contact situation & takes some extra effort. There’s just more potential money for dancers in FTL, so it’s always going to be better. Tampa is just not that interesting & doesn’t have the same options. Not even close. I wonder how they get the dancers to go to Tampa ? - it can’t be for the tips. I used to go to Johnson’s FTL because I was in town for other reasons. it may be disappointing if the expectations are high & you’re traveling for that reason only. A lot of teasing, maybe a feel & a taste in a very short period of time. There’s no privacy in either club. Manage your expectations- there’s no actual sex on-site.

I appreciate you being vulnerable in disclosing this information - super helpful because I think this is frequent thought. and I think you’re in a really good place to expand your experiences. Lots of new clients have issues w guilt & shame around the idea of paid sex & all that entails. You don’t express any of that. So, that’s a huge win already & you’re ahead of the game. With more experience you will gain confidence. And for me, it’s been liberating & empowering to own my desires and make it happen, without shame, guilt, apologies or explanations. Hiring providers also forces me to confront my own hangups - because to get what I want, I must communicate that clearly to a provider and come to agreement. I can’t just think someone might know what I’m thinking or expecting. I’m not talking about a scripted encounter - but the basics and anything that might be a necessity. I’m also in a relationship, so that forces clear communication with my partner about things I used to consider uncomfortable. This is a huge opportunity for personal growth - depending on how you look at it & proceed. And lots & lots of pleasure. Enjoy !

there are very few escorts who attempt to screen clients based on looks and/or how sexually attractive a potential client may be. if you get that vibe in any way - go the other way & cross that provider off your list. It’s not a sustainable business model for the provider and just shows they aren’t professional and probably haven’t been around very long. The sex would probably be bad too. In some circumstances, I could see the provider asking for a pic after a meeting is setup, just as a security measure & not as a way to screen clients. I frequently choose to send a face pic as an introduction if I don’t know the provider - only to show that I’m serious, a real person and not wasting his time. My sense is providers are inundated with anonymous requests & questions from guys that have no intention of an actual hire. A voluntary face pic seems to cut through the clutter on the providers end. It works for me. No provider is out of your league. Go for it.

you’ll have a great time. I’ve been going there for 16 years + with many visits each year. I’ve known about 6 the regulars there for at least 6 years and socialize with some of them outside the sauna. It’s consistently been the same over the years because the core clientele likes a certain type. There are some variations of course, but most are the guy-next- door body types that you’d find in Lagoa. The only real change since the pandemic is I don’t see the muscle guys so much anymore. I never understand the negative reviews here sometimes because I’ve just never experienced that in my dozens & dozens of visits. It leads me to believe the issue is not with Thermas or the working guys, but rather unrealistic expectations, bad attitudes or entitled behavior that is so common among tourists. The guys at Thermas (or any other similar sauna) have literally seen it all & have excellent BS detectors and avoid the people they perceive to be problematic. That too may explain some of the negative reviews here.

that can be tricky - there are so many closures that you wouldn’t know about like parades routinely on the east side w major closures, construction, street fairs, security perimeters, accidents, etc. vast majority of taxi drivers are honest & know what they’re doing. I watch closely the first few moves and make suggestions if appears off-course. They almost always have a valid reason for doing what they’re doing if you ask. Rule of thumb - never get in a taxi when public trans will do. It’s faster & cheaper 90% of the time. I’ve never experienced the “tourist treatment” - they can tell very quickly if you live there or not. just by now you give the address.

exactly correct. However, it’s usually people with very little experience with lawyers that are quick to recommend getting a lawyer. The first thing they always offer is a letter & that can mean nothing in a legal context, except if it’s a Cease & Desist. Beyond that, it’s filing an actual lawsuit and that is completely unrealistic in the circumstances described. In my professional life, I worked with dozens of lawyers on every subject imaginable. It’s never quick, easy or inexpensive- even for obvious egregious basic things. Lawyers are in the business to make money - not get justice served. Even if you happen to find an honest attorney interested in offering real help, it’s still insanely expensive.

there are many things posted in this forum that “don’t pass the smell test” - and it’s usually obvious. For the clients here that have long history of hiring, or providers with years of experience - it’s easy to spot stories that don’t make sense, are a one-sided version of events, or just absurd statements/questions not based in reality. As for contacting lawyers - bad advice & costly. A simple letter from a lawyer can cost $3500 and it’s just that - a letter. Going beyond a letter will get expensive quick at $350 - $700 per hour. Restraining orders are not simple things to get and that’s even more money. Maybe filing a police report would help, but the police will want to know the exact circumstances of meeting the blackmailer & number of times meeting the person. Lying to the police is terrible advice - when they figure out the truth (and they will), then the complaint will be completely discredited. While vast majority of providers would never blackmail - it’s always a good idea to limit the personal information disclosed. Providers usually do the same unless they have public social media in their real names. One of the main reasons to hire is to keep things private & discreet.

preaching about not using stereotypes - then using a stereotype in making that point kind of negates the entire thing. It’s always helpful when posters have just a bit of self-awareness

Not all Jukebox musicals are created equal - but most are money-grabs & not creative. The worst ones seem to be when the performer is long gone & the estate is just tying to make more money. I’d see Hells Kitchen at the Public tho - a different thing entirely. Re: sing-a-longs on Bway: I saw Hamilton twice - once before Covid where it was fantastic. Then I saw it again after Covid and after Hamilton had been streaming on Disney Plus for months. It turned into a sing-a-long show. Completely ruined the theatre experience, where I’m paying to hear the cast sing - not the person in the next seat. Totally selfish. Why go to theatre if you don’t want to hear the cast perform ??

One of the main reasons for her popularity is exactly because of the kind of person she is, or the kind of person her fans perceive her to be. She’s relatable as they say. Of course, she’s talented, beautiful & very very smart too. Social media plays a big part, but not for the reasons you might think. Younger generations raised on social media are followers. They quickly jump on a trend and it becomes ubiquitous- they are desperate to be part of a tribe, finding common ground & then there’s FOMO. If you visit certain cities that are overrun with “influencers” or “digital nomads” like Barcelona or Lisbon as two examples - the younger people all look the same: same fashion, same scooters, same tech equipment, same vacant look as they stare into their screens. They think they’re all unique & different- yet all being told what to think, how to dress and what’s on-trend based on their social media feeds. It’s brainwashing on a global scale more or less, with algorithms designed to keep users engaged & influence thinking/buying decisions all served up by the social media platforms who are in it for money.

I saw A STRANGE LOOP - a fantastic & mind-blowing original work. So out-there in the very best way, I’m surprised it ever made it to Bway. Wanted to see it again, but couldn’t make it work w my schedule Todays Broadway is usually recycled “revivals” or movie adaptations that are formulas for tourists & suburban people. The movie adaptations are typically boring as hell/predictable (Tootsie, Pretty Woman, etc) and the revivals are hit & miss. A truly original piece of new theatre is a rarity on Broadway these days. And then there’s always the mediocre jukebox musicals. Funny Girl is not a good show or an interesting one - it relies on a superstar vocalist in the lead role to make it work & overlook the lack of everything else.. I saw it with Beanie (horrible) and I saw it w Leah (fantastic). Before Covid, I saw about 12 Bway shows each year. After Covid, not so much. Even if there is an interesting show to see, the audience is routinely rude with all the talking & texting. If it’s a well known musical, then it’s basically a sing-a-long for tourists. It’s just not worth dealing with the rude people and then paying $400-$500 for 2 average tickets. The more serious or obscure the show, the more likely the audience will be well-behaved & not full of tourists. As I recall, A STRANGE LOOP had none of the typically rude tourists or suburban people because of the subject matter. It was real theatre. I saw MUSIC MAN w Hugh Jackman - boring & flat. I’ll see Cabaret (again) w Redmanyne ….it’s a difficult show to screw-up. And Merrily because of the off-Bway reviews. Depends on prices tho. Cabaret will be flooded w tourists. Merrily doesn’t seem like it will have tourist appeal. Selfish tourists seem to ruin everything these days - including Broadway. Definitely prefer to see things off-Broadway if possible as it’s always a better experience: no talking/no texting/no tourists - and much more reasonable ticket prices

exactly this !!!!