Whippoorwill

This being the US, every state is free to set up whatever "licensing" protocol they desire. There are generally two kinds of regulations..."practice" which regulates what you actually do, and "title" which regulates what you call yourself. This also being the US, management of such affairs is typically devolved from the states to private industry groups. For instance, in California where I live, architecture is governed by a "practice law" (engaging in the practice of architecture) and a "title law" (calling yourself an architect). They are both under the purview of the California Architects Board, which is a private association authorized by the state to handle these matters. Likewise, masseurs are under the California Massage Therapy Council. This is a private nonprofit that certifies massage training programs and massage professionals. Unlike architecture, masseur certification is voluntary and not required by state law, although local jurisdictions may require certification. The CMTC requires 500 hours massage study in an institution they approve, including anatomy, physiology, etc. in order to be "Certified". The testing requirement has recently been relaxed. They do have ethics requirements, including sexual advertising or services. That being said, for many years I had a masseur certified by the CMTC who advertised with enticing photos on Rentmasseur, was very competent and talented in both therapeutic and erotic massage, went through periodic additional trainings, and proudly hung his Certificate, and the diploma from the massage school from which he graduated, in his massage studio. I would guess that enforcement of ethics requirements is strictly on a complaint basis, and I surely wasn't going to complain! In California, at least, the enforcement emphasis appears to be on sex trafficking of females.

Reading these reminded of me, some decades ago, before I was hiring, I had a professional colleague who had a marketing/PR business. HIs lover was a masseur/escort. At gay community gatherings, the PR guy would hand out business cards for his lover's sex business. I was prepared to be shocked until I reflected that my lover and I always had memberships in the various sex clubs in town where we would go jointly and singly, went to the bars with the purpose of picking of a third (or fourth or fifth), and tricked out on our own whenever we could. This hot number was not only having a lot of sex, but was bringing home the bacon. The only difference was that my lover and I were't hot enough to get paid for it.

One of my favorites got his university degree (paid for by years of excellent work), has a new profession, and retired from massage. Happily, he still sees me and a few other regulars.

To Daniel 84 and other providers who get flaked on, I am so sorry. Unfortunately, our society seems to be coming apart at the seams. I first noticed it when I would hear from friends that there were no-shows at their wedding, when a friend (yes a friend) RSVP's Yes, a non-refundable meal costing hundreds of dollars was reserved, and the person was a no-show. Many high-end small bespoke restaurants here (San Francisco) require full payment in advance...the restaurants that are $400-$500 a person, with long waiting lists for a reservation. Doctors and dentists always call, sometimes more than once, to be sure you are coming to your appointment. Try and do something as simple as order a birthday cake with a name on it, and you have to pay 100% in advance. I recently booked a massage with a new provider to me, in a town we were both traveling to. I texted him on a Sunday 10 PM, asking for a Monday or Tuesday 10 AM 60-minute erotic massage appointment; he texted back confirming, including the price and street address and asked OK?; I immediately texted back confirmation for Monday morning. He acknowledged my confirmation right away. Early Monday morning he texted another confirmation, repeating the details, and requested I reconfirm. I did. He acknowledged. When I arrived I so texted; He texted back the room number. When we saw in person, after a warm greeting and sweet kiss, he said, "You've brought the cash, right." I confirmed. We both had a fantastic time (OK, maybe he's a great actor, I sure had a fantastic time). At one time I would have thought all the confirmations a bit much and maybe been insulted that he confirmed I'd brought the cash. But I wasn't, it made me a little sad, because it said to me that he'd been burned enough times he felt he had to do this. After the appointment, I texted him a personal thank-you for a great time. He responded warmly. Had he asked for a modest deposit ($25?) ahead of time I would have, because I had done my due diligence on him ahead of time. There were maybe six providers in town that I could have been hot to see. I read all their Rentmasseur self-descriptions and reviews several times, and I researched each one on COM. The comments on this site led me to nix every other provider as undependable or not as advertised. The one I selected had great reviews on everything but age-shaving. What I am saying Daniel is that it's not just you, it's not just gay men, it's not just your line of work, but a great many people think nothing of blowing off an obligation. Try not to take it personally, but do what you can do to lesson the impact...consider when the appointment is made (right now, or a day or two away), how the communication comes across (serious or I'm horny right now), respectful or not, and then confirm, confirm, confirm, and then maybe ask for a deposit if you still have reservations. Work at reading between the lines. Don't sound desperate. Say no or set stronger terms if your intuition tells you to. And then hope.

For a number of years I had two separate boys, each of whom I was madly "in love" with, and told them so. And I frequently talked about my home life and ky own bf with each of them. The fact that there were two, and they knew each other, and I told each of them about my feelings for the other as well as about them, kept my irrational "love" in check, as we all knew these were fundamentally business relationships. They were happy to humor me for 90 minutes and X-hundred $$. At one point, boy #1 got a boyfriend, who tried to control what his partner did in sessions. Boy #1 was unhappy with this controlling behavior (especially since he was the meal ticket for the bf). I counseled him to just not tell the whole truth to the bf. He was so young and naive it never occurred to him he could have secrets from his lover. Problem solved. He has subsequently moved away and I am still seeing (and "in love") with Boy #2. He does not have a bf but I encourage him to. He is a great guy, drop dead gorgeous, talented, hot, and great husband material. The husband market needs him, IMO, and I want him to have genuine love in his life. Why ever would this bother me, his customer?

Do your due diligence ahead of time. I only do independent masseurs, not spa employees. - if a guy is on Rentmasseur there is 99.9% he is gay and marketing to the gay market and frankly would probably be surprised with a client who didn't want more. - how is he (un)dressed in his photos...is he flaunting it? Read between the lines in the services he is offering. - how are his reviews? I try to only use massuers who advertise therapeutic, sensual and erotic, and where all or a majority of reviews are for erotic massages. - check our this site for others' experiences, DM them if you want. Most guys on this site will tell you. There is no point in wondering unless you like the thrill of "Will he, won't he." - when I make an appointment with someone new, I always say I want "an excellent therapeutic massage that is also sensual and erotic". I have never had it happen, but if they write back "I don't do that" you already have your answer and can move on. - get naked right away when you are talking with him before the massage and flaunt it - My last massage, while traveling, when I was undressing I said "Gee you are really cute, and I haven't even seen you naked yet." He immediately pulled off his shorts and pressed his naked body against my naked body. Cdog123, since you are already seeing this guy and getting vibes, you can skip a lot of steps and just be sure you are flaunting it before you lie down on your stomach, play with your cock a little (Where are his eyes focused, on your eyes or the family jewels?), complement him on his body, etc. If your getting the vibe, you can always say, "I love your massages, your are great, and I get so horny." And as others have said, spreading your legs, grazing his cock, getting hard are all saying come and get it.

Every time I have come hands-free it has been with some random trick…not even necessary that hot a number…just someone who had the right physical moves. So with me, it hasn’t been emotional intimacy.

60? Child! I am in my 80s, and this morning I hired a very hot provider, had an incredible time, and have been walking around all day with a hardon, thinking about our time together. I look my age; I never had a good body, and take viagra. What I have is a good attitude, a genuine interest in my providers, and a caring personality. I proudly tell them my age in our opening conversation, which invariably brings a “wow that’s great” type reaction. It helps that I target providers who claim to be in their mid to late 20s (and are undoubtedly a decade older), have been around the block, and don’t think that they’re god’s gift to the world, even though they have a fabulous body. It also probably helps that my preferred boys are Asian, whose cultures revere age. Also, when I am home and not traveling I have two regulars with whom there are mutually caring relationships. if you want to hire, do it. If a provider only wants to be hired by young hunks like himself, he’ll be out of business in a month.

Just came back from a 60 minute massage with Andy in Honolulu that included all the extras expected in a gay male to male massage. Massage was good, sensuous throughout, his demeanor sweet and loving…Andy clearly wants to please. Is he 29? No, but he is in fabulous shape and pulls it off well (sic). Only sorry I didn’t have time for 90 minutes. Andy also provides RentMen escort services which we discussed and will do next time he visits SF or I am in LA or another city he is working. DM me if you want to learn more. Ask me anything.

Yes, the powerful and the wealthy have never given monogamy much shrift...kings, popes, presidents all kept lovers...Jefferson had a black slave mistress, Lincoln it seems had male lovers, and we know about FD Roosevelt, Kennedy, Clinton, Trump in the recent past. Likewise the poor never were held back by middle class societal norms. It is only the middle class that purports to take "marriage vows" seriously (with remarkably little success). And fortunately, having broken a greater stricture, many gay men allow themselves the natural freedom that most humans require.

Spouses/long term partners provide constancy, intimacy, friendship, emotional support, etc. And at first they provide hot sex. But all things get old. As constancy, intimacy, friendship, and emotional support age, they can age like a fine wine. As sex gets old, it ages like a rotting fish. Openness to sidepieces, whether hired or not, provides the thrill of the chase, someone new and different, new and different sex techniques, the get down and dirty, etc. In my experience both are necessary and both can be concurrent. The problem comes in the English language where we only have one word for love..and therefore one definition for these feelings...the first definition above. I need and want and have that, but I also the other. The French have amour, love; amitie, friendship; luxure, desir lascif, vigueur, lust. So, Frenchjuris, yes it can and does work. In fact, it's the only way longterm relationships work, in my experience.

I live in San Francisco where there are many providers who were born in Asia and grew up in families with the values of the old country. These are the young men I am attracted to and who provide wonderful service to this old goat. My observation is that the next generation tend to be wholly Americanized. Sigh.

I go for twunks, but in fact I don't care how old the "boy" actually is...If he looks and acts the part, that's all I care. If he looks 25 but is actually 40, I don't care. However if he posts pictures of him at 25 when he looks 40, I care a lot. It helps that I go for Asians, who tend to maintain youthful looks longer than many others, and, in their culture, age is often revered. Works all the way around.

Never. Since one of my favorites told me about this site two years ago, checking here is always a part of my due diligence.

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In general, I have found that experienced guys with massive endowments know how to fuck...they appreciate the value of foreplay, they pace the entry, they sweet talk you through the process, they give you time to open up before they start jackhammering, etc. because they know if they don't, it's not going to happen. Some of the more painful experiences I have had were with thinner cocks, which if aren't inserted straight, they bang against the side walls of the rectum. Ouch. Whereas, if the cock is as big around as the rectum, there is only one way to go deep and that is straight in.

In the winter of 2019, I was in India for month, and made sure to be in Mumbai for Gay Pride weekend. This was the first year after homosexuality had been legalized in India, and there was a huge parade with lot of handsome men (think dark and handsome) and exotic drag queens, as well as a number of parties. I was amused that many people photographed me, the old white guy marching with them in the parade. I also spent some energy seeing who I could pickup in my travels around town. One day I was on a (very crowded, as always) commuter train when a middle aged Indian and I caught each other's eye. Standing on a crowded train, it was easy to grab some cock with no one noticing. At one point, he motioned for me to get off, and said meet at the gent's at the next station, a place he regularly visited. We did, but it was a small restroom and too busy for my taste (sic) to do more than cop a look or two. So he motioned me outside, and took me to a complex of four-story walk-up apartment houses in a garden, that amazingly for India, was not walled, nor did it have a doorman/guard as most such places do. This was clearly a regular place for his trysts, and we walked in, and went at it in one of the stairwells (that took me back to memories of my freshman dorm where the top floor stairwell was a usual spot for a tryst). We both got off, and only got interrupted once by a resident of one of the apartments, who amazingly never gave us a second look. This married man was hot for a date at my hotel, especially when he found out I was staying at the Oberoi. There however the entrance was well guarded, and anyway, I wasn't as hot for him as he was for me, so I demurred. Our meeting did give me the idea of train station t-rooms (and juicy memories of t-rooms in Grand Central, Penn Station, and multiple stations in London and Paris) so I headed to the neo-gothic Victoria Terminus, now called the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, and probably the largest and busiest train station in India. Right where all the trains terminate, there is the t-room to beat (sic) all t-rooms. When you walk in, there are two rows of urinals back to back, of probably 75 to 100 urinals each. The first 50 maybe are people doing what they are supposed to be doing...the farthest 50 in each row were 100% jerk and suck. And a constant supply of new meat, as 40 tracks of trains disgorge tens of thousands of (mostly) men going to and from work. I could hardly finish with one guy before his cock got replaced by another. Because of the culture, most homosexual men in India have traditionally been married to women. But as we all know, a guy has to be a guy, even if it is for five minute quickies. As an old t-room queen, this was heaven, and brought me back to the station several days in a row.

My schedule is very erratic...every day is different. I like to get appointments locked in several days in advance, and then stick to them. I also see a small stable of regulars. I want them to be successful and stay in the business. I understand that they all have lives, other clients, other obligations, and they want to schedule their time efficiently just as I do. Typically I will send out a session request on Sunday, giving my availability during the week, and ask them to pick. They pick. I confirm. We have a date that works for each of us. On very, very rare occasions, either a provider or I have had another possible appointment come up, and we ask to reschedule. Since we each respect each other and understand we each have busy lives, it has always worked out. Works like a charm.

I am ancient, but have always liked guys in their 20s...old enough to be legal, but young enough to be a boy. I hire providers who mostly claim to be, e.g., 29. (Ever notice how many claim to be 29 for years on end?) Old enough to be experienced, good at sex, but still look like a boy. While I don't care what the actual age number is, when their looks start slipping from boy to man, even a very good looking man, my interest wanes. Fortunately for me, I particularly like Asians, who can look and feel much younger than their actual age.

In the 1970s when it was just (barely) becoming acceptable to mention things gay in the popular press, there was an interview with a Levi's executive in Time or Newsweek. When asked, to what do you attribute the popularity of your product? he answered, "We say it's because they wear so well, but we know it's because they show such a good basket." 501's, of course.

I was on a trip with my husband, visiting his family, so my time and choices were limited. I picked a RM masseur who wasn't 100% my type, but I thought, what the heck. He was also traveling, and as I undressed in his hotel room, when I dropped trou, he came over and grabbed my balls and said "Wow, really nice nuts." I thought "Wow, this is going to be good." Ten minutes into the massage, he said "you don't really want a massage do you?" since my hands and tongue were all over him. We spent the rest of the hour going at it, and I got the fucking of my life from probably the biggest cock I've ever taken. "Wow."

Sounds like someone(s) need to teach that baby to bottom with pleasure...I wish I had learned sooner than I did. An exquisite pleasure every man should learn to enjoy.

While not a provider myself, I have always considered being called a "pig" a badge of honor.

- A small, curated set of recent photos ( I don't need to see 20 shots of you taken the same day in the same place) that give a well-rounded sense of your features. - Photos taken by someone else, not selfies. I want to know there is at least one other person in the world who knows how you earn a living. - Photos appropriate to the level of services you are offering (level of dress, pose, etc.) - Smiling photos...this is supposed to be fun. - A well written write up that gives me a sense of who you are and how the session will go – including correct grammar, spelling, punctuation. And if you are a recent arrival and not a native English speaker, that you have had some help from someone who is. - Any specialities you think you have that sets you apart (physical and services/styles). - Any limitations, preferences as to clients. - Age stated should be beliveable when we meet. - Price for the services described in your write-up. - Mapped location that is accurate to the neighborhood where you are located. - A number of excellent reviews appropriate to the length of time you say you have been in the biz. - No snippy replies to any bad reviews. In short, does the ad give me confidence that you will be who you portray yourself to be and that I can expect the level of services you described for the price you quote? That is, when I leave will we both be happy?

Interesting how often this topic appears in discussions. When I was a twinkie in training in the 1970s, the subject was never brought up. Sure, sometimes there was a little brown when he or thee pulled out, but you chalked it up to a minor occupational hazard. Twice in my experience, once with one of my bottom FBs and once with a random trick, Mt Vesuvius erupted. Not pleasant, but rare, and just one of those things. Today douching appears to be de riguer. Have our diets gotten that much worse...or have we become more squeamish...or is it just with the internet we can have wide discussions that we previously couldn't? After going decades with never douching once, today I 100% do if I think I'll get nailed. And by the way, I happily use a "Du" brand enema bulb, made specifically for us, that has an air-gap back flow preventer so you don't pump yourself full of air.