Whippoorwill

I either leave the cash, folded, on a table, or slip it in the provider's hand as part of saying goodbye and thanking each other. I have never had anyone count it while I am present. Of course, exact change. I recently had to ask my hair cutter for change...and then he miscounted the change, and I had to ask for more. I felt very cheap afterwards, I should have just given it to him as an extra tip. It caused me to later give him an even more generous end-of-year financial gift. I am redoubling my efforts to keep a stack of bills in every denomination at home so this never happens again. Yes these are services. Yes this is business. But they are intimate services that do not need to be tarnished by money changers in the temple.

Mattr, it does depend in part on what you feel you can afford, but I recommend hiring more rather than less. The fewer the hires, the bigger deal each session becomes, the more pressure we put on the encounter to be fabulous, the more nervous we become, and the less likely it is to be the be all and end all. As you hire more, it takes the pressure off every encounter to be a life-changing event, the more relaxed you can be, and the more likely you will enjoy the session for what it is. At least that is something I have learned in my life for lots of things...for going to a concert, for a gourmet meal out, for a vacation, and for a roll in the hay. It's something to consider.

In part it goes back to who/how you are selecting. Here's what works for me. Is his ad on RentMasseur? How much double entendre (or more) is in his text? Does he also have an ad on RentMen? Is he dressed/posed provocatively in his photos? Do all or most of his reviews state the massage was "erotic"? What do the reviews say/imply went on? I have found the more of these I can check off, the less likely there would be any question. If ever I have a doubt when trying someone new and want to be clear, my message will be "I would like to book an excellent __ minute therapeutic massage that is also sensual and erotic." Works for me.

I like to hire the nubile young muscleboys who can be the hot jocks I lusted after in high school, and have forever regretted not seducing.

Going back to Vegas_Millennial's quote of "I'm a man of leisure", I usually say "I'm a lady who lunches."

Jamie and others are correct. There isn't a cartel or conspiracy, there is capitalism. In capitalism, everything has a market clearing price, including cock. It's remarkably efficient.

As others have said, don't believe everything you hear/see on the news. Media has always, I presume, had to hype stories to "sell newspapers." Since the advent of 24/7 video news coverage, they really have to hype stories to find content. Going back to the 1989 SF earthquake, for weeks the TV news showed pictures of the same 4 or 5 buildings that collapsed. Some months later, I had guests from the east who were very disappointed that the city was not in ruins...I really had to work to find damage to show them, and it wasn't very impressive. Not that there weren't tragic deaths, but it wasn't the end of the world as portrayed in the news. I just received a holiday message from a friend who annually works on an archaeological dig in Israel. I wrote back and, among other things, asked her about the war. This is someone who has no Jewish, Moslem, or Christian political considerations to push. Here is what she wrote: "I was in Jerusalem five months this year. In Jerusalem one would never guess a war is going on. Where there are food shortages in Gaza and territories such as Bethlehem where shelves are empty, in Jerusalem the stores are packed with food, produce, dairy, meat, etc. Zero shortages. At the mall shoppers have to wait in a line for a fitting room and at lunch there are lines out the restaurant doors. Coffee shops in the city have outdoor tables filled with customers and you need reservations for dinner at the high end restaurants. War? What war? We did have sirens one night and some missiles flew overhead but that was a one time anomaly. "One noticeable lack is tourists. The Old City, which relies on tourists and pilgrims, is deserted with most shops closed and residents out of work and struggling to get by. Very sad. Mainly this is because American and European airlines no longer fly in our out of Israel. No air flights means no tourists." While without question the situation in that part of the world is tragic on all kinds of levels, for much of the country, life goes on. There is much to be learned by travel and seeing with your own eyes. And by the way, I have some neighbors from India. They like living here because they can make so much more money than in India, but their big concern, whether or not they stay, is gun violence in America. They feel so much safer in India. And also BTW, I just happened to look and Gay Pride Tel Aviv is of course planned as usual. Tel Aviv Gay Pride: Friday, June 13th, 2025 - Tourist Israel WWW.TOURISTISRAEL.COM Tel Aviv Pride has become one of the biggest events of the year in Tel Aviv. Visitors from all over Israel and the...

Here we are...from a prior C.O.M. thread...

Yes I have had experience. I lived and worked in Iran for two years (under the Shah, ancient history, not under the latest repressive Islamic Republic) and have had extensive business travel in the UAE. First thing is, don't confuse the people with their unelected governments. Most people in these countries don't pay any more attention to their governments than we do when it comes to sex. Most people don't pay any more attention to their clerics than we do when it comes to sex. The other thing is the old saying, "when something is prohibited absolutely, it is allowed absolutely." If the powers that be do not admit it exists, there aren't any rules against it. For example, in places like the US where you can buy alcohol, it is regulated as to age of buyer, hours of operation, content of the product, etc. Where there is a prohibition against alcohol, there are no rules regulating its manufacture or dispensing...it's open season for anything you want under the table. The same with sex. Sure, every once in a while there is a political campaign against "vice", but that happens here too. And yes, the advertised penalties are worse, although exceedingly rare. In Islamic countries, traditionally males and females were/are kept separate. What does this mean for teenage and older unmarried males?...they are having sex with each other, and lots of it. As soon as I stepped off the plane in Tehran, guys were approaching me. As one said to me, "we knew you were queer, all Englishmen are queer." The "Ti Hi" Lawrence stereotype. The teenage boy across the street from me had an open lover, and there were frequent roving orgies (not so hard to stage when the men are with the men and the women with the women anyway). There is also a thousands of year tradition of workers and their "apprentices." The bathhouses (a weekly ritual) are wild. Fathers typically took/take their teenage sons to protect them...everybody knows what's going on, but no one talks about it. Most of this is situational homosexuality, and most eventually are married to women...but not all. There are "known homosexuals", crossdressers, etc. but no open displays of affection. No gay pride parades for sure. Now clearly the Islamic Republic of Iran has tried to tamp this down, but you don't change human nature. Girls are not available to unmarried guys, so what's a guy to do? Other guys. You just have to be careful about being obvious (we've all been careful here too) and think with the head between your ears, not the one between your legs. Advertised penalties are severe, but exceedingly rare. Dubai today is a hotbed of gay sex. One of the busiest airports in the world, flight attendants galore, hotel workers galore, tens of thousands of Filipino and Pakistani guest workers (all single men), a steady stream of male business travelers and consultants, lots of money, and lots of horny underemployed Emirati men. And so handsome. The last time I checked into a large western hotel (2019), before I knew it, the desk clerk was knocking on my door "just to check on me." We checked out a lot of things. There are plenty of western escorts visiting Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Qatar, etc. They meet the same way I used to meet tricks when I was doing jobs in backwater cities in the US...go to the best bar in the best hotel in town, and there will be a lot of good looking single guys. If you don't want to spend your money in these countries, that is a fine principled position. No argument there. None of these places are that enticing of destinations for discretionary travel, but if you find yourself there, there are plenty of opportunities. You just have to be discrete in public...the same way we were here fifty years ago. And the same way you don't want to be flounting laws in any foreign country, autocracy or democracy. The potential penalties are just worse. But don't believe everything you read in the popular press. There has been extensive discussion of this subject on C.O.M. in the past...perhaps under The Travel Desk? Lots of divergent opinions. There are also a number of gay travelogues online that have visited these countries. And yes, Tel Aviv is a party destination for gays from all over Europe and the Middle East.

This being the US, every state is free to set up whatever "licensing" protocol they desire. There are generally two kinds of regulations..."practice" which regulates what you actually do, and "title" which regulates what you call yourself. This also being the US, management of such affairs is typically devolved from the states to private industry groups. For instance, in California where I live, architecture is governed by a "practice law" (engaging in the practice of architecture) and a "title law" (calling yourself an architect). They are both under the purview of the California Architects Board, which is a private association authorized by the state to handle these matters. Likewise, masseurs are under the California Massage Therapy Council. This is a private nonprofit that certifies massage training programs and massage professionals. Unlike architecture, masseur certification is voluntary and not required by state law, although local jurisdictions may require certification. The CMTC requires 500 hours massage study in an institution they approve, including anatomy, physiology, etc. in order to be "Certified". The testing requirement has recently been relaxed. They do have ethics requirements, including sexual advertising or services. That being said, for many years I had a masseur certified by the CMTC who advertised with enticing photos on Rentmasseur, was very competent and talented in both therapeutic and erotic massage, went through periodic additional trainings, and proudly hung his Certificate, and the diploma from the massage school from which he graduated, in his massage studio. I would guess that enforcement of ethics requirements is strictly on a complaint basis, and I surely wasn't going to complain! In California, at least, the enforcement emphasis appears to be on sex trafficking of females.

Reading these reminded of me, some decades ago, before I was hiring, I had a professional colleague who had a marketing/PR business. HIs lover was a masseur/escort. At gay community gatherings, the PR guy would hand out business cards for his lover's sex business. I was prepared to be shocked until I reflected that my lover and I always had memberships in the various sex clubs in town where we would go jointly and singly, went to the bars with the purpose of picking of a third (or fourth or fifth), and tricked out on our own whenever we could. This hot number was not only having a lot of sex, but was bringing home the bacon. The only difference was that my lover and I were't hot enough to get paid for it.

One of my favorites got his university degree (paid for by years of excellent work), has a new profession, and retired from massage. Happily, he still sees me and a few other regulars.

To Daniel 84 and other providers who get flaked on, I am so sorry. Unfortunately, our society seems to be coming apart at the seams. I first noticed it when I would hear from friends that there were no-shows at their wedding, when a friend (yes a friend) RSVP's Yes, a non-refundable meal costing hundreds of dollars was reserved, and the person was a no-show. Many high-end small bespoke restaurants here (San Francisco) require full payment in advance...the restaurants that are $400-$500 a person, with long waiting lists for a reservation. Doctors and dentists always call, sometimes more than once, to be sure you are coming to your appointment. Try and do something as simple as order a birthday cake with a name on it, and you have to pay 100% in advance. I recently booked a massage with a new provider to me, in a town we were both traveling to. I texted him on a Sunday 10 PM, asking for a Monday or Tuesday 10 AM 60-minute erotic massage appointment; he texted back confirming, including the price and street address and asked OK?; I immediately texted back confirmation for Monday morning. He acknowledged my confirmation right away. Early Monday morning he texted another confirmation, repeating the details, and requested I reconfirm. I did. He acknowledged. When I arrived I so texted; He texted back the room number. When we saw in person, after a warm greeting and sweet kiss, he said, "You've brought the cash, right." I confirmed. We both had a fantastic time (OK, maybe he's a great actor, I sure had a fantastic time). At one time I would have thought all the confirmations a bit much and maybe been insulted that he confirmed I'd brought the cash. But I wasn't, it made me a little sad, because it said to me that he'd been burned enough times he felt he had to do this. After the appointment, I texted him a personal thank-you for a great time. He responded warmly. Had he asked for a modest deposit ($25?) ahead of time I would have, because I had done my due diligence on him ahead of time. There were maybe six providers in town that I could have been hot to see. I read all their Rentmasseur self-descriptions and reviews several times, and I researched each one on COM. The comments on this site led me to nix every other provider as undependable or not as advertised. The one I selected had great reviews on everything but age-shaving. What I am saying Daniel is that it's not just you, it's not just gay men, it's not just your line of work, but a great many people think nothing of blowing off an obligation. Try not to take it personally, but do what you can do to lesson the impact...consider when the appointment is made (right now, or a day or two away), how the communication comes across (serious or I'm horny right now), respectful or not, and then confirm, confirm, confirm, and then maybe ask for a deposit if you still have reservations. Work at reading between the lines. Don't sound desperate. Say no or set stronger terms if your intuition tells you to. And then hope.

For a number of years I had two separate boys, each of whom I was madly "in love" with, and told them so. And I frequently talked about my home life and ky own bf with each of them. The fact that there were two, and they knew each other, and I told each of them about my feelings for the other as well as about them, kept my irrational "love" in check, as we all knew these were fundamentally business relationships. They were happy to humor me for 90 minutes and X-hundred $$. At one point, boy #1 got a boyfriend, who tried to control what his partner did in sessions. Boy #1 was unhappy with this controlling behavior (especially since he was the meal ticket for the bf). I counseled him to just not tell the whole truth to the bf. He was so young and naive it never occurred to him he could have secrets from his lover. Problem solved. He has subsequently moved away and I am still seeing (and "in love") with Boy #2. He does not have a bf but I encourage him to. He is a great guy, drop dead gorgeous, talented, hot, and great husband material. The husband market needs him, IMO, and I want him to have genuine love in his life. Why ever would this bother me, his customer?

Do your due diligence ahead of time. I only do independent masseurs, not spa employees. - if a guy is on Rentmasseur there is 99.9% he is gay and marketing to the gay market and frankly would probably be surprised with a client who didn't want more. - how is he (un)dressed in his photos...is he flaunting it? Read between the lines in the services he is offering. - how are his reviews? I try to only use massuers who advertise therapeutic, sensual and erotic, and where all or a majority of reviews are for erotic massages. - check our this site for others' experiences, DM them if you want. Most guys on this site will tell you. There is no point in wondering unless you like the thrill of "Will he, won't he." - when I make an appointment with someone new, I always say I want "an excellent therapeutic massage that is also sensual and erotic". I have never had it happen, but if they write back "I don't do that" you already have your answer and can move on. - get naked right away when you are talking with him before the massage and flaunt it - My last massage, while traveling, when I was undressing I said "Gee you are really cute, and I haven't even seen you naked yet." He immediately pulled off his shorts and pressed his naked body against my naked body. Cdog123, since you are already seeing this guy and getting vibes, you can skip a lot of steps and just be sure you are flaunting it before you lie down on your stomach, play with your cock a little (Where are his eyes focused, on your eyes or the family jewels?), complement him on his body, etc. If your getting the vibe, you can always say, "I love your massages, your are great, and I get so horny." And as others have said, spreading your legs, grazing his cock, getting hard are all saying come and get it.

Every time I have come hands-free it has been with some random trick…not even necessary that hot a number…just someone who had the right physical moves. So with me, it hasn’t been emotional intimacy.

60? Child! I am in my 80s, and this morning I hired a very hot provider, had an incredible time, and have been walking around all day with a hardon, thinking about our time together. I look my age; I never had a good body, and take viagra. What I have is a good attitude, a genuine interest in my providers, and a caring personality. I proudly tell them my age in our opening conversation, which invariably brings a “wow that’s great” type reaction. It helps that I target providers who claim to be in their mid to late 20s (and are undoubtedly a decade older), have been around the block, and don’t think that they’re god’s gift to the world, even though they have a fabulous body. It also probably helps that my preferred boys are Asian, whose cultures revere age. Also, when I am home and not traveling I have two regulars with whom there are mutually caring relationships. if you want to hire, do it. If a provider only wants to be hired by young hunks like himself, he’ll be out of business in a month.

Just came back from a 60 minute massage with Andy in Honolulu that included all the extras expected in a gay male to male massage. Massage was good, sensuous throughout, his demeanor sweet and loving…Andy clearly wants to please. Is he 29? No, but he is in fabulous shape and pulls it off well (sic). Only sorry I didn’t have time for 90 minutes. Andy also provides RentMen escort services which we discussed and will do next time he visits SF or I am in LA or another city he is working. DM me if you want to learn more. Ask me anything.

Yes, the powerful and the wealthy have never given monogamy much shrift...kings, popes, presidents all kept lovers...Jefferson had a black slave mistress, Lincoln it seems had male lovers, and we know about FD Roosevelt, Kennedy, Clinton, Trump in the recent past. Likewise the poor never were held back by middle class societal norms. It is only the middle class that purports to take "marriage vows" seriously (with remarkably little success). And fortunately, having broken a greater stricture, many gay men allow themselves the natural freedom that most humans require.

Spouses/long term partners provide constancy, intimacy, friendship, emotional support, etc. And at first they provide hot sex. But all things get old. As constancy, intimacy, friendship, and emotional support age, they can age like a fine wine. As sex gets old, it ages like a rotting fish. Openness to sidepieces, whether hired or not, provides the thrill of the chase, someone new and different, new and different sex techniques, the get down and dirty, etc. In my experience both are necessary and both can be concurrent. The problem comes in the English language where we only have one word for love..and therefore one definition for these feelings...the first definition above. I need and want and have that, but I also the other. The French have amour, love; amitie, friendship; luxure, desir lascif, vigueur, lust. So, Frenchjuris, yes it can and does work. In fact, it's the only way longterm relationships work, in my experience.

I live in San Francisco where there are many providers who were born in Asia and grew up in families with the values of the old country. These are the young men I am attracted to and who provide wonderful service to this old goat. My observation is that the next generation tend to be wholly Americanized. Sigh.

I go for twunks, but in fact I don't care how old the "boy" actually is...If he looks and acts the part, that's all I care. If he looks 25 but is actually 40, I don't care. However if he posts pictures of him at 25 when he looks 40, I care a lot. It helps that I go for Asians, who tend to maintain youthful looks longer than many others, and, in their culture, age is often revered. Works all the way around.

Never. Since one of my favorites told me about this site two years ago, checking here is always a part of my due diligence.

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In general, I have found that experienced guys with massive endowments know how to fuck...they appreciate the value of foreplay, they pace the entry, they sweet talk you through the process, they give you time to open up before they start jackhammering, etc. because they know if they don't, it's not going to happen. Some of the more painful experiences I have had were with thinner cocks, which if aren't inserted straight, they bang against the side walls of the rectum. Ouch. Whereas, if the cock is as big around as the rectum, there is only one way to go deep and that is straight in.