Simon Suraci

I avoid establishing a hard line rule of # of hours to be considered a reasonable period of time. It varies, with something reasonable falling between 2-hrs and 24 hrs. Your provider could be on a flight with no reception when you text. Or sleeping during the night, or at their day job if they have one. They could be in a remote place with little to no reception for a time. Who knows. Most providers in most normal situations will get back to you within a few hours or less if they are going to respond at all. If a client wants to meet a particular provider, I highly recommend booking ahead a few days, or at least 24 hrs in advance. That puts you in a priority position so others have to book around your appointment or otherwise be out of luck because you planned ahead. If the client has a very limited window of availability, such as only a few hours after meetings while on a business trip in the provider’s city, then I recommend booking a week or more ahead, at least a few days. It’s unlikely the provider will be available during that particular limited window on short notice that same day/night. If your first choice provider does not respond within a reasonable time, you can safely assume it’s unlikely to work and move on to contacting alternate ones. If your schedule is more flexible on day/time and you’re both in the same city for a period of time, it may be worth trying again. If they don’t respond at all, bad sign, move on. If you’re wanting company from any number of providers and you don’t particularly care which one exactly you are going to see, by all means, feel free to contact multiple for that same day/night, same hour / “right now” and see who responds. Some of them may be available on short notice and some won’t. Keep in mind when texting a provider same day or short notice, you’re asking in so many words if the provider is available to respond to your text at that very moment (or within that reasonable period of time after your text) AND available to fulfill your appointment time request which may only be a couple hours after that. In total, you might be asking for the provider to be “available”in some sense for half a day, from start to finish from the time you first text to the time to get ready, time for either of you to travel, to the time the appointment actually ends. Plus travel time after the appointment ends, if applicable. That’s a lot to ask of a provider on short notice. Sometimes you luck out and it works out just that easy. Oftentimes not. Which is why I recommend booking ahead, at least 24 hrs. More is better whenever possible. Planning ahead buys you a much better chance of getting exactly what you want with who you want, when you want. If your provider doesn’t respond within a day, you have the extra time to request alternates.

Trying to hire a provider for services they advertise by contacting them is perfectly normal. Following up or asking again is also normal, especially if they haven’t got back to you from the first time you reached out. If they haven’t got back to you by the second or third time you reached out, it’s safe to say move on. It’s good business for a provider to respond within a reasonable timeframe, even if it’s only to say, “sorry I am booked up for the day you requested, but here are the next times I am available”, something like that. No response past a reasonable timeframe might indicate they are already overwhelmed with business and don’t need/want yours. Or they’re poor communicators, or flaky, or any number of things you probably don’t want in a provider anyways. It’s a bad sign. If they can’t do you the courtesy of responding, you probably shouldn’t hire them. Keep in mind sometimes it can take hours or the next morning for a provider to respond. Days without a response is unacceptable. Here are some scenarios that a provider might choose not respond to: Demanding dick/ass/nude pics, especially if the provider is not an escort, or if all of these are posted publicly online. Writing impatient or angry remarks in all caps because the provider was working and did not immediately respond to a text within minutes. Rude or disrespectful comments, racist/sexist and similar remarks. Incomprehensible texts. Texts that seem like someone is drunk/high (it has to be pretty bad for that to shine through over a text). Texts in a language the provider doesn’t speak. Texts asking the same questions over and over, that the provider has already answered. Unreasonable requests, for example: asking a provider to travel hundreds of miles away within a few hours, for a 1-hr appointment, with no previously planned travel arrangements. If you’re communicating something that’s a big red flag to the provider, that may be the reason. Any of the above merit some response, even if it’s a brief statement saying the provider can’t/won’t see the client. A lot of providers just don’t have the patience or emotional willpower to do this, however. Not a good excuse, but it happens. Some known clients are blacklisted for being violent, not paying, or for other legitimate reasons. Sometimes it’s best for a provider to not to engage at all with someone they know is problematic based off the lists or other intel telling them the client is bad. If you’re being normal and reasonable and the provider is not responding, it’s their loss. You’re paying, so that’s lost business for them, and an opportunity for the client to seek out a more reliable, responsive provider who wants their business and is willing and able to work hard to get it. ‘Stalker’ may not be the best operative word for what I think you mean. When I hear stalker, I think someone is going out of their way to invade my personal space, find out where I live, where I work (i.e. at a day job), research and track down my family, unearth sensitive personal information, threaten me, follow my movements in public, harass me, and so on. Same goes for harassing over text, or being aggressive, not respecting ‘no’ for an answer, demanding things, trying to contact me after being blocked on multiple platforms, and similar obsessive behaviors. If you’ve reached out multiple times with no response, and you’re not ticking any of the red flag boxes, you’re definitely not a stalker, but I would seriously consider hiring another provider. Professionalism and respect are the minimum a client should expect in a good provider.

Technically yes. It’s way in the upper corner of Orange County. Alas: This is splitting hairs. For someone in another part of the country unfamiliar with the exact location of a lesser known city right on the border between counties, LA metro area is a good quick reference point without having to look it up on a map. Someone living in LA County, Orange County, or other areas of Southern California will know exactly where it is and what county. People in other parts of the country most likely will not, but they generally know where LA is. As a populated metro area, LA and Orange Counties blur together quite a bit along the county lines. Both populated areas on either side of it are part of the same general larger metro area, whether you want to call it OC or LA. Driving a few minutes between La Mirada and La Habra is hardly changing from one distinct metro area to an entirely different distinct metro area. Cities, yes. Counties, yes. Metro areas, no: More importantly, check Edras out. This location may be out of the way for most people traveling from out of state. One might visit Disneyland, coastal Orange County, Hollywood, WeHo, Santa Monica, or many other well known areas, but probably not La Habra unless you have family or specific business there. This is exactly why I want to highlight Edras, because he may not otherwise cross most people’s radar unless they already live near him.

To each their own. Our personalities make us unique and help attract the clients who will like us and get along best with us. Personally, I wouldn’t be afraid to showcase your individuality and personal expression, both on your ads and in person. Some will like you, some won’t. It’s normal. I try not to take any of it too personally. I keep an open mind and avoid stereotyping others. Everyone is different and worth your time and effort. What they expect (and maybe want) you to be may be different than how you actually are, and that’s ok. It’s not our job to entertain clients or play a character - at least not for massage. Maybe for escorts that has a whole other dimension, depending on the client. I find success in being unapologetically myself, listening well, being kind, and doing my personal best for each client regardless of how similar or different they are to me in terms of personality, age, race, or cultural background. You never know who will recommend you to others, even if they don’t mesh with your personality or style. Even without being their best friend or personal standup comedian, you can still give an excellent massage service worth returning for again and again. With some clients, it’s very social like coming into Dolly Parton’s beauty shop in Steel Magnolias, and for other clients it’s utter silence and total relaxation. Most are pleasant and like to chat a little bit before finding their quiet zen relaxation zone on the table.

https://www.masseurfinder.com/massage-therapists/24123/ This is Edras, my favorite massage therapist, hands down, of anyone I’ve ever seen in my life to date. He does excellent therapeutic work. He used to be in San Diego and was my regular. He’s in La Habra (LA metro) now. He’s one of the nicest, sweetest, kindest, most dedicated, attentive, hard working, and reasonably priced therapists. I miss seeing him in San Diego. La Habra is kind of out of the way, even for LA folks, but I want to give an unsolicited shout out to him. He’s definitely worth a long drive from another area of LA or from other cities in CA just to see him. This shouldn’t matter, and it doesn’t, but for most of you I know it does. He used to be heavier. Always thought he was damn sexy, with a bearish build, hairy, and naturally very masculine. Looking at his updated profile pics, he’s built up quite a fit body. Even sexier now in all the superficial ways even though his real sex appeal is his good nature and generous spirit. Highly recommend! Note, he’s therapeutic only. Do please respect his boundaries. These are not erotic massage or sex work rates he’s charging. Seriously though, one of the best massages ever! Also he’s mentioned on this older thread:

I hired Kyle a few years ago. Good guy, attractive, good therapeutic massage, good conversation. At the time, he made a point of seeing clients he was at least somewhat attracted to, which, as anyone on these forums will agree, is not how this business works. He said as much when we met. He put something to that effect on his ad years ago like requesting a prospective client send a photo. Maybe he’s changed? Since he’s still around working, I imagine he’s either not relying upon massage as his sole income (he had another job when I hired him a few years ago) or he’s changed his client vetting policy. He’s worth seeing, no doubt. I would not expect him to do extras or escort work for those rates, but maybe he does, who knows. Seems he’s choosy about what he does and with whom and whether he feels like it - at least that was my impression of his approach from our in person conversation. Others feel free to chime in since my experience is a bit dated at this point. I’m moving back to San Diego in August 2023. I’m considering reaching out to Kyle for potential collaborations like 4-hand massage. If anyone has intel, I would greatly appreciate it. I’m more inclined to ask him to work together if he’s wised up about opening up his client base.

A few guys around the DFW metroplex travel to Ft Worth for a nominal fee. Some charge quite a bit, understandably. Peak traffic time requests can also affect this calculation and willingness to travel. Some providers are more on the Ft Worth side, in the middle between Dallas and FW, and some scattered around FW. Incalls may be worth it for you those cases to cut down on your travel time and avoid a provider travel fee, but a lot more guys are based in and around Dallas and many of them will travel to FW. If you want outcall in Ft Worth, it probably won’t put a huge dent in travel fees, even though the middle guys are coming from a closer location than Dallas. Depends on the provider. IMHO, a 30 min drive to Dallas seems worth it for the right provider for your needs. A lot of Ft Worth area clients visit me in Dallas without hesitation because I am the best provider for them. A lot of them are regularly in Dallas anyway for other reasons like social functions, shopping, errands and whatnot. Some of them book me around those trips. For masseurs and masseurs who escort, I have a couple recommendations along those lines located more in the middle between Dallas and FW. At that point, you’re looking at 15 mins difference in driving distance vs just going to Dallas. Personally I would be more concerned with getting the right match than a really convenient location. Might be something you do on average monthly, or maybe even weekly if you hire a lot? Not too bad of a drive for that frequency or less. Dallas has many more options than FW.

This ^ Whenever a client has an issue paying, “forgot it in car” or what have you, I keep their wallet, phone, both, or something of value - at least their driver’s license until they come back to pay me. Sometimes I walk them to an ATM. There happens to be one a block away. Fortunately this rarely happens, and less so now that I accept several digital payment options. Cash is still king both for privacy and expediency. Mezcal is, by the way, delicious!

Here is my website: https://booksy.com/en-us/589316_simon-suraci-massage_massage_134786_dallas

I agree. It’s nice to know what they look like currently. Sometimes asking a provider a question like this signals (inadvertently) that you may not hire them if they answer the question in one way or another that doesn’t align with your preferences. It’s almost better to not have the contact at all than to hear directly from someone in so many words: “I would hire you if you looked x way right now, but you don’t, so I’m telling you directly to your face that you don’t get my business”. It’s kind of cruel, to be dramatic about it. At the very least it’s frustrating or annoying. The best providers develop a thick skin. When this happens, I say to myself ‘whatever’ and move on. I can’t change myself for one client, for one appointment, so oh well, their loss. I stopped caring about it so much and it’s been freeing. It’s tough. A provider can’t be all things at all times to all people. One day he may be shaved or trimmed, another naturally hairy. When you ask, it may help diffuse that bomb by mentioning that you’re just curious and that it’s not a dealbreaker. If it IS a dealbreaker for the client, that unfortunately aligns with many other typical conversations that end up where the client isn’t interested based on the response. Clients should know and it’s ok to ask, and it’s ok to have the preference. It’s even ok to not hire based on the response. From a provider’s perspective, it’s damned if you shave, damned if you don’t. The next client wants the opposite, the following client doesn’t care, and the following client after that prefers the reverse. That feeling of frustration is probably what set him off. True, he could have handled it much better, but reassuring the provider can help, especially if it’s not a total dealbreaker for you. In general, I recommend providers pick a lane. Be naturally hairy, or be groomed in a certain way to establish your look, which is part of your brand. That way clients know what to expect and you attract the ones who like your look, whatever it is. Unfortunately you miss out on the clients who prefer the opposite, but that’s part of the biz. People are fickle and they have preferences, no matter how shallow or seemingly insignificant in comparison to other arguably more important factors that make a great provider.

I’ve seen JD for massage. I recommend him wholeheartedly. Anyone feel free to PM me.

100% Agree Positive experience with Tristan. Professional, skilled, gives you the whole time you booked, and his rate is reasonable for the quality. My only criticisms are that he was not particularly friendly or warm and I had difficulty booking. After he confirmed a day and time with me, he requested me reschedule a number of times before I saw him. Fortunately I am fairly flexible, but this would probably not work for a number of clients. He apologized after the session and said it was unusual for him to have so many rescheduling issues. YMMV. I may have caught him on a particularly bad week. FYI his massage is strictly therapeutic unless you pay $50 more. All quite reasonable. I can’t speak to the upgrade or everything it entails since my priority for the session was therapeutic massage only. My imagination tells me that even a modest menu of extras would be worthwhile considering his therapeutic work is so good. He emphasizes that you don’t miss out on a quality therapeutic session when you upgrade. I like that about him. Ask Tristan directly for details.

I’ve hired both Grant and Tristan for massages. It really depends on what you’re going for. Anyone interested feel free to PM me for more info on these two Dallas studs.

Clients criticize masseurs so much as it is…even the good ones with excellent technical skills. I don’t need to pay someone or give away my time for free on top of that. Some of the more productive ways of giving and receiving criticism is with a massage trade with another massage therapist. Even then, styles and focus differ. It’s an opportunity to learn, grow, and try new things more than anything. Every client has different needs and preferences, while every masseur has different strengths. It’s not always a matter of right/wrong or good/bad. Sometimes a client doesn’t even appreciate a really good massage because they only want and expect “extras” or hire for your looks. I can’t take their criticism seriously. The others I take with a grain of salt.

You have, and I truly appreciate it!

Oh wow, that does sound exhausting. I agree massage is intuitive and every client is different. You need flexibility to adjust the time as needs arise. For example, a sore muscle the client didn’t mention or didn’t know they needed the work there until you started working in an area. When working with a new collaborator, I like to go over briefly what we’re doing about 10-15 mins before the client arrives. It’s more general, however, than down to the minute directions. A countdown clock would be unnerving and unnecessary. As long as we have an understanding of who is doing what, for approximately how long, discuss pressure and style, we’re good. We both pay attention to one another and signal with eye contact, face, even pointing sometimes if there needs to be something different happening, when to switch, move on, slow down, wrap it up, etc. No verbal communication so the client is not distracted. If it’s my client, I generally lead. If it’s their client, I generally follow. When working with a regular collaborator, it’s more realistic to synchronize strokes and timing to give the client a parallel massage experience. That works best when the client wants a massage for relaxation moreso than deep therapeutic sports work or something like that. I can’t exactly do deep therapeutic work in tandem, at least not very successfully or easily.

I have experience with Alex. PM me for details. Sending a PM to the original poster.

To leave a review on MasseurFinder, email the masseur your review content using your regular email service i.e. gmail. Ask for their email address. It’s strange. I think you get less reliable reviews this way because the masseur has to post on your behalf (and therefore choose if they want to post it). Also you’re only allowed one new review over a period of time, I think a month or more, can’t remember. RentMasseur is better for reviews because clients can post directly, unfiltered, as long as you have some back and forth communication on the site prior. I prefer reviews on my own site on Booksy. Clients post directly there, without any prior communication required. All my reviews are unsolicited. Without the barriers RentMasseur and MasseurFinder place, my own site has naturally more reviews on it.

I’m fortunate most clients are respectful in person. I attract the people I like to work on, for the most part. It’s rare that someone offers a rude comment. The few bad ones ask things like, “so what’s your ‘real’ job?” To their surprise, I say, I’m an architect. Until recently I worked both jobs for the equivalent of full time each. That throws clients for a loop. I try not to get offended when people think I can’t do anything else. I choose this work even though I’m high in demand in the architecture field. I asked one client if he had any areas that needed work and he pointed to his dick. I tried to ignore that and started the massage as normal at his upper body. He proceeded to complain in an other language and then took my hands in his and forced them down there. I prepared to physically fight him if necessary and asked him to leave. I’m not afraid to defend myself by any means necessary, and I have no patience for that kind of behavior. One client communicates in grunts only. Even in text messages. Totally incomprehensible. He doesn’t shower and arrives really unclean. He refuses, even when I politely ‘invite’ him to shower before his massage. I have to pause sometimes and use wipes on his body to minimize the filth. Sometimes he comes over right after getting a spray tan. I intentionally put worn out sheets in case he is about to ruin another set. He won’t look me in the eyes, and he’s on his phone scrolling every moment before and then again after being on the table. Doesn’t say hello or goodbye, never says thank you. Never tips. Asks for discounts and freebies in whatever broken sentences he can jumble, even though English is is first language. We put up with a lot. It’s part of the biz.

I suppose that’s the cost of constantly hiring new providers. Nothing wrong with that by any means, you just have to have a reasonable expectation of risk and reward. If you expect all providers to be reliable all of the time, and that nobody requires a deposit under any circumstances, all of them cater to your specific needs, your schedule, any last minute requests, and so on, I would highly recommend reevaluating your expectations. If hiring reliable people only once or max a few times isn’t doing it for you, prepare to face a lot of challenges. You're setting yourself up for lots of disappointment. That's fine as long as you're prepared to deal with it. Providers don't pick their clients, but we have to deal with all our clients anyway. Even when they're flaky, unreasonably demanding, or rude. That's a cost of doing business we have to accept if we want to stay in business. Clients get to choose who they want to deal with, whether a few reliable ones or many new faces all the time, of which some are good, and some are bad. The reward of constant novelty is your trade-off. If that reward is greater than the cost of your risks, go for it. If your risk tolerance is low or the cost too great, that’s on the client. Btw I'm speaking in general terms to clients, not "you" specifically. You can’t have everything all your way all the time. The world isn’t built to serve you. Sometimes the client has to eat the cost (risk) of constantly hiring new people to get the experiences they want. In the same way, providers eat the cost of constantly dealing with bad clients in order to stay in business and cumulatively earn enough from the good clients to make a decent living.

This forum has opened my eyes to what clients have to deal with. I feel for you guys. Loss aversion is much more powerful psychologically than many positive and fulfilling sessions. Some may be scammers, many others are legit. I’m sorry many of you have had bad experiences, but it’s unfair to use language like always, never, or yes/no binaries. You have every right to be cautious and you don’t have to pay deposits if you’re uncomfortable doing so. By all means, move on to providers who do not require a deposit, but I would not expect every provider to risk their scarce resources for every client, every time. There will always be a need for popular and busy providers to allocate scarce resources. It’s economics. When demand is high, willingness to take on unvetted and flaky clients is low. When the reverse is true, willingness is high. Deposits, among other strategies, are a means for providers to allocate their scarce resources more efficiently. Better to lose a couple would-be good clients than take on many more would-be bad ones. On both sides of the discussion, each party is experiencing majority negative of the other. i.e. 9/10 clients are flakes, or 9/10 providers are scammers. All the more reason to rely on recommendations from others you trust. I’m so glad company of men exists. It helps establish who’s good, who’s reliable, real, and worth your time and money. We focus on the negative so much, on what we have to lose by taking on a client or hiring a provider. If you’re concerned about hiring someone new, seek out providers with a good reputation, either through forums here, or elsewhere online or IRL. Find the good ones and hire them. When you have a positive experience, keep hiring them. It’s win-win. Some of my best clients are regulars. With mutual trust and respect, both parties are very happy. Variety is nice, I get it. Sometimes reliability and trust is a much more fulfilling route. Treat one another well.

Here is an old post discussing Men4RentNow. I’ve never heard of it.

It varies per provider and type of service. I’m a massage therapist, so most situations would never require a deposit. On occasion, I require a deposit for particularly long appointments, travel outside my normal range, or if the appointment requires coordination with other providers like a 4-hand massage, or other specific/unusual requests. The more I have to lose if the client flakes, the more inclined I am to ask for a deposit. If you are hiring an escort, or a massage provider for escort services, the stakes and costs are higher, so I would expect more escorts to require some sort of deposit. I can’t speak for every provider, but I would never pay more than half up front. I think 20% is perfectly reasonable. Even $50 is fine. It’s a gesture to motivate you to follow through and to demonstrate (through action, not just words) that you are serious and worth the provider’s time. As always, use your best judgement. I acknowledge that scams are very much a real thing and you have to watch for warning signs. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. We’re on the side of caution. However, I would not be afraid to send a nominal deposit for a reputable provider. That usually means they are popular, which means they have more reason to charge a deposit. If you’re asking for something that takes a lot of time, travel, preparation, or coordination, I would expect your provider is more likely to require a deposit.

The flakers motivate providers to require deposits, or otherwise be guarded with their time or vet who they book. Deposits are one way (not the only way) to filter up the serious clients. We need some way to identify the serious people, otherwise we waste a lot more of our time and don’t earn a living. To make a living, we have to keep busy, so it behooves us to fill our time with serious, trustworthy clients. When you are a popular provider, you have the luxury of choosing the more serious client over the less serious client. You may be a great client. Fine. Demonstrating in one way or another that you are a good client is another story entirely. Something as simple as booking your second preference for a time slot versus your first preference is a free and easy way to demonstrate you are serious and a good client. When a provider is busy and suggests booking another day or time, do so. Don’t just throw in the towel (and a tantrum) because a provider wasn’t available the moment you texted for an immediate appointment, or for the specific time you requested. This happens to me all the time, and I make an effort to work with their schedule. The client frequently makes no effort to work with mine. The message I get from clients is that they expect me to be dedicated, on-call, only available to them, at a moments notice, and that they will not hire me if I am not. That’s not true of course, but that’s how bad clients treat me. I say good riddance because I have lots of good quality clients filling my time. Men on this forum generally aren’t the ones flaking. It’s the other 9/10 clients that are not on the forum behaving disrespectfully, and that gives us legitimate reason to do things like require a deposit or vet a client through a verification app. I avoid requiring deposits, but for some, it’s one of the few ways to meaningfully weed through a sea of flaky, disrespectful people.

It’s more efficient for the client to contact the providers he’s interested in hiring. Ask about the specifics you want and let the provider confirm yes or no. Posting as a client to something like doublelist yields a bunch of providers who you may or may not be interested in, and who may or may not actually be the best fit for your needs. It would also bring in interest from quite a few people who are not professionals, just people who want a free mutual interest hookup. It’s a lot of wasted time for all those people to read and respond, and for you to read and respond (or ignore). It’s also rife for scams, as if we don’t have enough of that on the proper platforms. I recommend going directly to the source, using purpose built platforms and messaging directly to inquire about your needs. You weed through a lot of nonsense that way, for you, and for the provider.