rn901

I would say 24-48 hours. Very rarely have I had extraneous circumstances that prevented me from responding under that amount of time. If I do, I explain to the client what happened and apologize for any inconvenience they may have had from waiting. Anything over 2-3 days seems like it would be a no. It wouldn't hurt if one gently politely follows up with something along the lines "Hey just checking if this would be of interest you?" the next day, if you're really wanting to meet them and haven't heard back in 24 hours. A message of saying nothing but "?" or "?!" or "???!!" would be a red flag to a provider and they probably wouldn't want to meet if someone seems that impatient. Boundaries are important in this business and many experienced providers will pay close attention to subtleties and tone if a client who they haven't met yet gets impatient.

The conversation began as a condemnation of the fetish outright for anyone who participates and saying the op has something wrong with them. Others said that the asian men who enjoy this fetish have something wrong with them as well. By all means, you do what you are comfortable with. I don't think anyone was disputing that? Condemning the whole fetish though and saying it perpetuates racism/oppression in society, as a host of others were saying on this thread, isn't too far off from the second wave feminists who said the same thing in past decades up to today about how pornography and bdsm perpetuate sexism and sexual violence. Condemning any consenting sexual activity between fully consenting adults doesn't strike me as progressive, but restrictive and reactionary. It seems puritanical more than it is woke.

It wasn't too long ago when second-wave feminists were wanting to ban pornography because they were claiming that they were seeing in all too real terms the consequences of people being able to live out their fantasies of any sexual degradation. They made the claim that degrading pornography was responsible for violence against women and perpetuating sexist views in society. That kind of argument is a slippery slope and history has shown the all too real consequences when you start censoring and restricting people's consenting sexual practices. Andrea Dworkin arguing that "pornography happens to women"

Complicated topic but the focus is only on the white guys "living out their fantasy" and whether that is right. However by objecting to this consensual private bedroom activity, you're also saying asian men who enjoy this do not have a right to live out their fantasy either. They are to be denied their own agency and decision making in this conversation. By arguing against asian men having the right to do what they please, you are also pathologizing them. Essentially you're saying there must be something wrong with them if they enjoy this fetish? You're arguing against their autonomy and agency as much as anyone else's. Not so sure calling asian men who enjoy this fetish to be mentally ill is particularly antiracist. Degradation and humilation in BDSM often involves language that is homophobic and misogynistic "f*ggot, b*tch, c*nt". Those being into it also wanting to try racial degradation doesn't seem too far of a stretch from that. It might make us uncomfortable, but policing what other people do consensually in their private sex lives or pathologizing men of color who enjoy such fetishes doesn't strike as particularly progressive either. Who are we to make decisions for other people with what they can and cannot do consensually?

Every provider is different but I find it helps to give as much specifics and information as possible in the first text. It doesn't have to be a longwinded elaborate proposition either. Just the basics: what it is that you're looking for, what you like about them or their ad, the date and time you're wanting to meet, inquiry to their rates, hotel or area you're staying if you wish to host, possible restaurants if you would like them to join for dinner, ect. Providers deal with time wasters on a daily basis. There are also "clients" who are trying to get as much "free time" as they can over phone/text who end up never meeting. "Sup" or "hi" with nothing else said may not get a response either, especially if it follows with none of the outlined specifics ever reaching the conversation after multiple messages back and forth. I always very much appreciate a client who is very straightforward and to the point when and where they are wanting to meet. Most of the examples in this thread are good prompts. Relevant specifics coupled with basic manners go a long way with providers who are serious about meeting and their work. Also be patient if the provider does not respond right away. They're people with lives and schedules just like anyone else. A "?" or "???" or "?!!!" message if they don't respond immediately is kind of a red flag to a provider. If you wish to get to know the provider's life story then that can be done in person. If you wish the provider to know your life story, that also can be done in person as well. However, it does not need to be drawn out over text message or phone call prior to meeting. The arrangement should be able to be planned in just a couple of texts back and forth. If you keep it relatively simple, to the point, detailed, polite, and offer genuine interest in meeting then I don't see how you can go wrong with a legitimate provider.

No worries. Fisting ain't my thing. Fisting and clients who resent providers being able to talk back.

Where is the overabundance of providers freely openly offering their points of view? There's a handful at most on here.

I'm sure the feeling is mutual.

Responding to a provider offering a critical perspective, that they're not "advertising correctly" or that they'll lose clients for dissenting or that they're just here to stir trouble or that their attitude is this or that provider from this or that city or that they should be subjected to different standards than other anonymous profiles on here are, isn't expressing opinions in a rational non-insulting manner either. You've attempted to shut me down since I first came on here and you're just going have to deal with me. Nothing I have said has been more insulting than what is regularly espoused by you and others. "I don’t give one itoa of an infinitesimal f*ck what ridiculous mental trapeze justifications you make for your bizarre, warped views. I thought I politely made that clear here and before. Clearly either I am insane or you are for continued interaction. But here – you are categorically wrong in your approach no matter your contorted babble. Selah! Don’t force me to reply again to your craziness! " Ah such rational mature non-insulting discourse. May the double standards continue.

I think I've made it abundantly clear I have no interest advertising or making income from this site. No one would pay me a deposit because that's not why I'm on this forum. I'm not taking clients from here. I simply felt a more critical perspective from that of a provider has been long needed on here, LONG NEEDED, so I'm chiming in every now and then whether you like it or not. As stated, I'm also a client as well as a provider. So you're just going to have to deal with me having as much right to privacy as you. Too bad, too sad. It's a new day kids!

You need not worry about ever hiring me. I'd be able to detect your approach and mindset to this work within a few sentences and I would stay far away. Such is how I've been able to do it for 10 years with an ample amount of regulars not including you. My right to my own discretion on who I meet is one of my favorite things about the job

Why it is escorting that is what has given me the time to read vs working 8-10 hours every day I've read each title at least 2-3 times. So I guess "repeatedly" is quite subjective.

I've had very few female clients, maybe 1 I've had very few female clients, them making up less than 1% of my total clients my ten years of doing this. And half of those are straight/bi couples wanting to hire a third. Whenever I get one inquiring, it's always a bit of a surprise. So yeah probably over 99% of the clients of male escorts are straight/bi men. You're right female escorts have a much larger market with less competition. They're also taking a bigger risk than male escorts because they're targeted by law enforcement more and as a woman they are more at risk of being subjected to violence than a male escort (as that stat indicates). So you're right- more clientele, bigger risks, less saturated labor market means substantially higher pay. Good for the ones who can pull it off. I would imagine it would be several times more difficult being a woman, and the job is hard enough for a man. They deserve such high compensation.

Ah I was just going off the date on the rentmen ad and the fact he had one review. My error. The other escort though could certainly raise his rates after 60 reviews. That's impressive in such a short amount of time.

600 is extremely out of ordinary. When starting out, legitimate providers usually will start near or below the average until they develop enough credibility to get above the average rate. That's also how it works in any freelancing business as well- start low until you build a reputation. It's practical business sense for someone new to gradually build their rates up rather than start out the gate with something obscenely high.

So are you posting under your real name any time soon? Okay so you have one set of standards for providers and another set of standards for yourself? I would imagine that's something pretty regular with you. Why shouldn't a provider have the right to anonymity on here as any client? In fact I have also been a client a few times myself. So how does your double standard work when one has experienced both sides of the business: being a provider and a client? How ridiculous. What you don't like is a provider having the freedom to push back just as much as you do (under one screen persona I might add). Well too bad. That's not how the real world works outside your couple of hours of paying someone to nod their head in agreement to everything you say.

Get use to it

Escorts who are bad communicators won't last long in the business. Clients who are bad communicators though will remain indefinitely.

I'm not on here to market myself. Saying providers should hold no views of their own is not a good way to keep people in the business longer than the average 1-2 years or developing your own social skills with them.

Who said I'm marketing on here? Lose the entitlement. I'm allowed to have a different point of view.

The differences between escorting and those industries only strengthen the rationalizations for upfront payments, not lessen them. It is a more intimate job, it does require more emotional labor, it does require one giving access to their body and it does come with more risks. How any of that lessens the case why some providers are asking payments upfront has yet to be made. If a hotel, housing contractor or freelancer has a case for asking for upfront payment, an escort has an even stronger one. I'll say that as one who doesn't practice such a policy themselves, but who can get where others are coming from. Try it sometime.

I clearly said in my previous posts I don't require upfront payments myself (unless it requires travel). I simply suggested one should try to understand why other providers do so. Considering other reasonable points of view should be the norm on here. I said multiple times I understand why providers require it and I understand why clients refuse to do it. Black and white thinking does none of you any good. Grow up and try to understand where other people are coming from.

Many providers don't flake as other providers. Therefore, it is perfectly reasonable for them to ask for a payment upfront. Marriot and United and Amazon and photographers and web developers and concert venues and freelancers in countless of other industries do have a means of recourse if they are not paid what they are due, yet they still ask for deposits/payments upfront. Escorts do not have such recourse, yet somehow it is more unreasonable for them to ask for payments upfront? It shouldn't be complicated to understand where such policy of theirs comes from. Reasonable mature people should be able to see why such a point of view exists. If providers didn't get ripped off, they wouldn't ask for payments upfront. If clients didn't get ripped off, they wouldn't mind payments upfront. Unfortunately people on both ends get ripped off, therefore people on both ends should understand where each conflicting view is coming from. Why is this difficult?

Nice strawman. There are plenty who ask for upfront payments not in this fashion and who are honest with their work. You wanted to make the point that it is custom to paying only after a service. That is patently false. Again, make sure to tell airlines, hotels, concert venues, sport stadiums, photographers, housing contractors, delivery services, web developers and most freelancers in a variety of industries they're not following your fictional customs properly. Sorry United, I'm only paying after my flight. Sorry Marriott, I'm not paying any deposit. Sorry Amazon, I'm only paying after my delivery. If it's understandable why such businesses require upfront payment, then it should be even more understandable why escorts who have no means of recourse do so as well. People get ripped off on both ends of this industry. If you're able to think of others besides yourself, you would understand why some require upfront payment and you would be able to have an adult conversation about it seeing where both sides are coming from.

Except plenty of hotels, modes of transportation, deliveries, concert/sporting event venues, contractors and freelancers do require some amount of an upfront payment prior to their service. So no, it is not always custom in every business to only pay after. Even then those above-the-ground businesses do have a means of recourse if they are not paid what they are due. As others have stated on this very forum, escorts do not. That should make it even more understandable why some require some payment upfront.