rn901

"This has nothing to do with being selective, as was challenged up-thread. " No, the original post is pretty clear. It was very much about boundaries, discretion or being "selective" then when that was challenged the topic was changed to poor communication in one text exchange. The original post: "I don’t understand why it’s so hard to hire a guy. It shouldn’t be hard. We’re not playing matchmaker here. It’s almost as difficult as setting up a Grindr date with some of these guys. The ones who really see this as their job are infinitely easier to arrange with, but I sincerely believe A LOT of these providers are looking to get paid to do the Grindr thing. Rentmen isn’t Grindr. The selectiveness from some providers is almost akin a baker saying they won’t make a cake for certain types of clients. I totally get when it is clear that a potential client is likely not a potential client, but you can’t know if a client is serious in four texts between the two of you that total less than 50 words, sometimes less than 25… I really am thankful for my regulars who are a dream to work with…" When it was contended that escorting is not akin to selling muffins at a bakery and that providers can turn down anyone regardless of the amount of words exchanged and that they should have as much discretion as any person on grindr or else where, then we were given a text exchange with a provider not responding to the original poster's request of three overnights of BFE despite never meeting. People then pointed out very reasonable explanations as to why this provider may have been distrustful, distant, or disengaged after a few texts. The original poster then disagreed because they have had past set ups work for them "right out of the gate". Yet, here they are complaining that plenty of others have not worked out and have not taken him up on his offer. So what's the solution? We can either continue to gripe and complain about providers being selective and/or communicating poorly or we can change our approach in how we reach out to providers with the new insight others have given on here and a perspective of providers being able to turn you down as much as any person. The former option doesn't seem to change much if we are unhappy with the present. It's not rocket science, correct.

Glad to see you changed your tune. You were vocalizing objections to providers having as much discretion as people on grindr and likened their work and boundaries to selling bread. Baking and escorting is a false equivalency. Getting paid doesn't negate you being able to decide who you meet.

And I can assure you that poor communication exists on both ends of the transaction. If I got paid for every text of "hi" with nothing else said, I would've been able to retire years ago back in the days of rentboy.

I've avoided clients if I immediately sensed something off about them in 50 words or less. And that is the right of every provider. I can't speak for the provider who refused to respond and meet with you. But I can almost guarantee that changing your mindset on the right to boundaries and their right to be as selective as they see fit, can only help in your future endeavors. Them getting paid does nothing to negate their right and ability to determine how they use their body.

I'm not speaking for that provider. I'm speaking on the original issue posed: that providers get to be selective. Something you seem to have issue with. That provider or any provider has every right to be selective, just as selective as any client or any person on grindr. This is not analogous to a baker selling bread. This is about how someone spends their time, body and emotional labor. Their boundaries shouldn't be up for debate. The fact that they are, does suggest problematic trends and a problematic mindset on your part. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news- but a provider gets to say "no" for whatever reason they see fit and regardless of the amount of words exchanged. Just because you are looking to pay them doesn't negate their right to boundaries as a person.

In the screen shot you provide, the provider should've done better communicating. But I'm sorry, I thought the original topic at hand was whether providers get to be selective? You took issue with that and compared this line of work to selling bread and equating the two. If you have an issue with their right to discretion and boundaries, then the problem probably isn't one sided in all other instances now is it? The fact that their right to practice discretion is even be up for debate does say something about your mentality when hiring them.

Maybe the problem is you. The original topic posed was on providers being selective. You took issue with that and compared it to a baker denying someone service. Providers get to be as selective as anybody when it comes to their body, emotional labor and time. Just because they are a provider doesn't mean they give up their right to boundaries and you are entitled to them. The fact that you take issue with the concept of boundaries and the right to discretion, suggests that maybe one text exchange doesn't tell the whole story...

Someone exchanging their body, intimacy and emotional labor is not analogous to a baker. They have every right to be as selective as they please when it comes to such boundaries. If other clients are booking them and you are having trouble, then maybe the problem isn't them. Maybe the problem is... You're right, it shouldn't be a complicated process and for many it doesn't seem to be.