The Ex BFE

[sexymonk]

The dinner wasn’t meant to show him off as a trophy, trinket, arm candy, or a “look what I got” prize. My friends happen to be within 2-5 years of his age, and I thought he might enjoy spending some time with them. I have younger friends that I go out with often. And they all know that I hang out with other younger guys for completely non-sexual reasons. I’m interested in the same music, movies and culture they’re interested in, and it’s an opportunity for me to enjoy that connection. Sadly, I’m a young soul trapped in a old man’s body. Peter Pan’s got some serious wrinkles.

I see appreciate your thinking to make the escort associate with your young friends. However here onething to note is assumption may not always be correct. You can discuss with the boy and see. Else move on! Everyone has a match here!

[KennF]

kenn, Really? If we go with the attitude that who are to judge others then in this world everything is justified, right? Then by same logic action of terrorists are also justified?

 

Who you we to judge what both sides of an agreement want and accept, when it affects no one but the two involved.

 

If you want to be silly and take that to mean that I support self-relativism or endorse terrorism, then I have no time or patience to respond.

[+ Gar1eth]

kenn, Really? If we go with the attitude that who are to judge others then in this world everything is justified, right? Then by same logic action of terrorists are also justified? Sorry, things don't work like that! A basic code of conduct, ethics has to be there! As far as tge escort saying yes to go out and meet the clients friend was just a blank statement at that time. Everyone does that yes statement in general! However, on actual time the escort retracted as he gave a thought and was not comfortable with meeting other friends! However, you see he didn't denied going out with the client. Just he was not comfortable with the idea of meeting his friends. You cannot pressurize an escort for that! If the client is offended then he can just get to another boy and it is simple!

 

 

Didn’t the OP also write that after meals, when I am assuming they were alone, the escort ate quickly and bolted off?

 

Gman

[sexymonk]

Didn’t the OP also write that after meals, when I am assuming they were alone, the escort ate quickly and bolted off?

 

Gman

Yes. The action from the boy is unjustified and needs discussion. That is immature act and I am not supporting that act!

Edited December 18, 2017 by sexymonk

[P Gren]

The dinner wasn’t meant to show him off as a trophy, trinket, arm candy, or a “look what I got” prize. My friends happen to be within 2-5 years of his age, and I thought he might enjoy spending some time with them. I have younger friends that I go out with often. And they all know that I hang out with other younger guys for completely non-sexual reasons. I’m interested in the same music, movies and culture they’re interested in, and it’s an opportunity for me to enjoy that connection. Sadly, I’m a young soul trapped in a old man’s body. Peter Pan’s got some serious wrinkles.

What happened when you talked to about it afterwards and explained this?

[former lurker]

I have to agree with you here, @KennF. As often happens in these discussions, the pendulum seems to slowly (or sometimes not so slowly) swing to the side of the escort-i.e. the client must have done something wrong. This is especially prominent when someone has ‘picked on’ another member’s favorite.

 

I’m sorry-people of different ages associate with each other all the time. I have a Facebook friend, the father of three. He’s currently in NYC with the two oldest-a girl and a boy at least one of the children is probably 21 and the other is close to it. If he goes out without his husband, and is alone with his son is everybody going to think the young incredibly handsome son is an escort (although to be truthful the Dad is really handsome too). Years ago I took one of my nieces-probably 20 years old at the time out for lunch when I was visiting the city she went to college in. I’m a fat bald guy and a subordinate of mine saw a picture of my niece once and asked whether she was a model. So did I have to be her sugar daddy just because we were having lunch together? Sure we-esp in our gay community at large and esp in this one -might wonder at seeing an attractive lad with an older gent, but it could be a father/son, actual Uncle/nephew, grandfather/grandson, or a boss/employee as just some examples.

 

Gman

 

Couldn't disagree more. The "pendulum", if there is one, on this site is all the way on the client side. Escorts get no slack for cancelling (because the client was "counting" on being serviced; escorts are judged on the authenticity of their photos and their "honesty"; there's a strict "I don't pay in advance of service" "rule"; if an escort states a preference for the type of client he prefers, he's excoriated for being racist or ageist or a body fascist.

 

Let's face it: escorts are human beings, and they are in a business fraught with legal and health risks. They often have to spend a good deal of time dealing with potential but not eventual clients testing them out through texts, calls, skype, etc. All of this may seem reasonable from the perspective of us clients, but not so much from the other side. And, at least on this site, there seem to be rules set in stone that protect the client but not so much the escort.

 

So, I'll conclude this post by restating, the people who escort are just as human as the people who hire.

[former lurker]

I have attended many functions in my life I didn't want to go, but had to for business. I made the most of the situation and did what was expected/required. At worst, the escort would have had to put on a façade of a smile and make polite small talk avoiding anything of substance.

 

You may not agree with whether or not a client 'should' ask for a particular experience. However, whether or not he should have asked for a particular fantasy, is different from the fact that he did, and that the escort agreed to it. (As for a why, I can think of dozens of reasons why a client might ask for a social event.)

 

The escort was engaged to pay attention to the client's needs/wants, not to be social butterfly, ignore his client, embarrass him, or make a scene, so the age of the group is irrelevant.

 

The 'boy' was not asked to go out with 'friends'. The 'escort' was employed to go out with the client while out with 'client's friends'.

 

Most escorts I've known are able to focus on the client's need/desire incredibly well and I have the utmost respect for the difficult work that they do with such grace. I envy their ability to be able to gel so well with so many different types of peoples and situations. It is skill I've come to admire, which in this case was lacking.

 

Yeah. So what. When you've been asked to go to "work" events, were you to do so as arm candy? Also, you had every reason to assume going to the event(s) would enhance your work situation, or at least maintain it -- the "escort" did not. Finally, from the description, it was on short notice that the escort was asked to this -- in such cases, even in a formal work environment, declining should not be a reason to denigrate him.

 

What I take from this post of yours is that you'd be a good person to have working for you, but you're not a good person to work for. Unless, as a I suspect, you have a different standard to the "escort" than you do for employees at your formal employment.

[+ Gar1eth]

Couldn't disagree more. The "pendulum", if there is one, on this site is all the way on the client side. Escorts get no slack for cancelling (because the client was "counting" on being serviced; escorts are judged on the authenticity of their photos and their "honesty"; there's a strict "I don't pay in advance of service" "rule"; if an escort states a preference for the type of client he prefers, he's excoriated for being racist or ageist or a body fascist.

 

Let's face it: escorts are human beings, and they are in a business fraught with legal and health risks. They often have to spend a good deal of time dealing with potential but not eventual clients testing them out through texts, calls, skype, etc. All of this may seem reasonable from the perspective of us clients, but not so much from the other side. And, at least on this site, there seem to be rules set in stone that protect the client but not so much the escort.

 

So, I'll conclude this post by restating, the people who escort are just as human as the people who hire.

 

I could point out time and time again when Forum members have taken the escort side. Years ago I once refrained from writing a bad review because the escort, at the time, was a Forum favorite, and I knew from having seen bad reviews of other Forum favorites, that I’d be blasted by his partisans if I had sent it in.

 

A large portion of us on here-notice I’m not saying everyone- hire because otherwise we’d never know anyone in a biblical sense. That gives escorts an awful lot of power as they have the ability to frustrate a basic biological urge. That doesn’t mean I think clients should try to take advantage. I also have long championed the rights of an escort to say they can’t deal with certain races or certain body types. It’s sad that people have preferences like that. And being possessed of a lot of avoirdupois myself, it’s painful on being rejected for that reason. But I totally understand it, and I almost always made sure ahead of time that the escort I wanted to meet was ok with full-figured guys. I also can’t deny having racial preferences (but not absolutes) myself.

 

But look at how many people have defended an escort in a recently locked thread when his behavior has been beyond the pale. It’s been known for a long time in society that attractiveness greases the wheels. And while I don’t know that gay society is the worst about this, as a group, we are probably up there.

 

Gman

Edited December 19, 2017 by Gar1eth

[KennF]

Couldn't disagree more. The "pendulum", if there is one, on this site is all the way on the client side. Escorts get no slack for cancelling (because the client was "counting" on being serviced; escorts are judged on the authenticity of their photos and their "honesty"; there's a strict "I don't pay in advance of service" "rule"; if an escort states a preference for the type of client he prefers, he's excoriated for being racist or ageist or a body fascist.

 

Let's face it: escorts are human beings, and they are in a business fraught with legal and health risks. They often have to spend a good deal of time dealing with potential but not eventual clients testing them out through texts, calls, skype, etc. All of this may seem reasonable from the perspective of us clients, but not so much from the other side. And, at least on this site, there seem to be rules set in stone that protect the client but not so much the escort.

 

So, I'll conclude this post by restating, the people who escort are just as human as the people who hire.

True and I wouldn't think poorly of the escort had he canceled. It is just one of those things that happen.

 

The problem I have is that he accepted the gig, showed up, and then bolted from the restaurant. He made rude, selfish, and derogatory comments/actions. And, he embarrassed his client in front of others.

 

Cancelling would have been polite.

[former lurker]

I could point out time and time again when Forum members have taken the escort side. Years ago I once refrained from writing a bad review because the escort, at the time, was a Forum favorite, and I knew from having seen bad reviews of other Forum favorites, that I’d be blasted by his partisans if I had sent it in.

 

A large portion of us on here-notice I’m not saying everyone- hire because otherwise we’d never know anyone in a biblical sense. That gives escorts an awful lot of power as they have the ability to frustrate a basic biological urge. That doesn’t mean I think clients should try to take advantage. I also have long championed the rights of an escort to say they can’t deal with certain races or certain body types. It’s sad that people have preferences like that. And being possessed of a lot of avoirdupois myself, it’s painful on being rejected for that reason. But I totally understand it, and I almost always made sure ahead of time that the escort I wanted to meet was ok with full-figured guys. I also can’t deny having racial preferences (but not absolutes) myself.

 

But look at how many people have defended an escort in a recently locked thread when his behavior has been beyond the pale. It’s been known for a long time in society that attractiveness greases the wheels. And while I don’t know that gay society is the worst about this, as a group, we are probably up there.

 

Gman

 

I've thought about this for a long time, and refrained until now commenting. You are annoying. You've made clear, over and over again, that you're not engaged in hiring. You use self-deprecation (you're fat with a small dick, and uninterested in Tops) as deflection for a fairly consistent set of negative posts about escorts you've never met. You comment on "top" escorts just to say you're a top and you'd never hire them. Why comment at all?

 

It appears, and I of course could be wrong, that you use this forum as a form of therapy. If so, not a good idea. Find someone trained to help with your issues and work through them. An online forum about escorts isn't a substitute for mental health therapy. Again, I'll say, I don't know you or your issues well enough to diagnose you -- sorta my point -- but there is something in your posts that suggests a bit of a pathology. So get some help. That's what's best for you, and that's all I'm hoping for -- what's best for you.

[+ Gar1eth]

That's what's best for you, and that's all I'm hoping for -- what's best for you.

 

Thank you for your hopes for me. Have a Joyeux Noel.

 

Gman