Where are all the Sexually Harrassed Young Males?

[Bearofdistinction]

Just wait till all the Boys who were Congressional Pages start to come forward or will they?

Not just in Congress but in commerce, industry, healthcare. I know of young men who were the subjects and the more powerful Men and WOMEN who were the abusers --- Where are all the male victims???

 

My Uncle was a US Congressman for 12-14 years and I had read about the Page Program -- You got a free premier education in the morning work in the House or Senate in the afternoon/eve - By the time you were ready for college a scholarship was waiting for you at GW - GT or AU and a paying job as a junior staffer.

 

My Uncle would not support my application -- and would only say - "When you are older I will explain to you - trust me It is because I love you that I am protecting you"

 

Of course at 12-13 I was just pissed - at 18 - I understood when he told me --- Pages were regularly fondled-fingered-abused-fucked and threatened smacked around and passed around. There were usually 6-10 favorites in the Senate and 30+ in the House who got most of the attention according to Uncle Congressman. In retrospect - Could have been fun!

Edited November 23, 2017 by Bearofdistinction

[LADoug1]

I agree. Where are the men who were abused as boys? And where are the men who were abused by women?

[Walker1]

Well I did share my story. One of the posters was more concerned that I called my former boss in college a fat Chinese woman. I guess it does not fit the stereotype.

[+ sniper]

You have to remember that crimes are also largely crimes of opportunity. Typically, a female abuse victim is at a disadvantage both professionally and physically, in the sense she is not likely able to take her assailant in a fair fight. With a male potential victim, you run a greater risk of getting your ass kicked. That is going to lower the incidence of males getting sexually assaulted/harassed right off the bat.

 

Anecdotally at least it does seem that more guys compartmentalize sex and are more down for random one-off encounters with strangers than women, so a random offer of sex is less likely to be unwelcome, and if they get something in return in addition, I think more men on average are likely to go ahead with it and not really think too much about it.

 

And then there's the whole macho thing of not wanting to be seen as a victim. So there are forces that lower the incidence and forces that lower the reporting. And I also suspect being penetrated is psychologically for most a bigger deal than being the one doing the penetrating,; i.e. more trauma. If someone grabbed my dick and stroked it a bit I think I'd feel less violated than if he fucked me in the ass.

[SuperJunior]

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/oct/31/hollywood-male-abusers-boys-gay-men-kevin-spacey

[+ sniper]

But seriously, I do think a lot of guys will make the trade a bit more willingly due to the compartmentalization issue. I think it's pretty widely assumed that all the guys in those boy bands of the 90s let their creepy managers fondle/blow/whatever them, some were bothered by it and others don't seem to have given a shit. Plenty of straight guys will do gay porn on camera for less than $50k per year and that's for the whole world to see, wouldn't you think guys exist who would be willing to do a producer behind the scenes for a chance at millions?

[Gvtire]

They have spoken about the abuse of male pages once, that I know of. Can we say Mark Foley.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

I agree. Where are the men who were abused as boys? And where are the men who were abused by women?

 

I have worked with quite a few guys that have been abused, raped and sexually molested, both by males and females. Some of the guys were technically molested, but have no resentment or trauma, but for most it does create major issues around touch, intimacy and owning of one's body. There are certainly fantasies around rape and incest, but the reality isn't sexy.

[Walker1]

But seriously, I do think a lot of guys will make the trade a bit more willingly due to the compartmentalization issue. I think it's pretty widely assumed that all the guys in those boy bands of the 90s let their creepy managers fondle/blow/whatever them, some were bothered by it and others don't seem to have given a shit. Plenty of straight guys will do gay porn on camera for less than $50k per year and that's for the whole world to see, wouldn't you think guys exist who would be willing to do a producer behind the scenes for a chance at millions?

You pretty much described all of Harvey Weintein's victims. Does that make it ok?

[+ Gar1eth]

On a slightly different note-and I realize it’s not the main thrust of this thread-and I’m not saying this is a frequent occurrence-but a two-time f-ckbuddy of mine has told me a story. This f-ckbuddy is bisexual-has been married and now divorced. He told me that in college he seduced an adviser of his who was ostensibly straight-ie married. And the adviser took the bottom role according to my bud. I guess I bring this up because, if true, I’m just flabbergasted. While I suspected I was gay in college, the idea of any sex terrified me and gay sex the most. And the idea of seducing an older guy-how would you even know he was interested? And then for the ‘supposedly’ newbie to take the bottom role....

 

I guess having large parts of my childhood, adolescence, and adulthood be very solitary without friends shielded me from experiences like this. I never masturbated anyone else. No one ever masturbated or sucked me off. I was never even part of a circle jerk.

 

 

Gman

[Walker1]

I have worked with quite a few guys that have been abused, raped and sexually molested, both by males and females. Some of the guys were technically molested, but have no resentment or trauma, but for most it does create major issues around touch, intimacy and owning of one's body. There are certainly fantasies around rape and incest, but the reality isn't sexy.

 

Yeah in my case it was my boss-yes the old fat Chinese lady. She was notorious for this-probably in her 50s at that time. She hired young male college students for jobs under her-part time only. She hit on them constantly -I guess out of 5-10 if one gives in-she scored. In my case, there was a lot of unwanted touching, lot of discussions surrounding sex etc and quite often "accidental" touching of my privates. Never any grabbing.

 

The thing is at that time me and my friends talked about it and we just laughed. But she was my boss and signed off on my time card and could hire and fire me and at that time, that job was very important to me. I could work in college, part-time and got a discount on many things. I played the "dumb blonde" and pretended she was not behaving that way and just smiled and pretended I did not pick up her signals. Eventually found another part time gig in college and moved on. Especially the dynamic-it never occurred to me a man could be sexually harassed by a woman. Now with all these allegations-many of which seem quite similar to mine-it just makes me wonder, how many men have suffered the same and because of men not being vicitms etc never thought of it as abuse or reported it or will never even admit it to themselves?To be honest, only now after all these allegations, it triggered my old memories and makes me realize I went through something similar and it was not ok.

 

Maybe because of the macho man image, maybe no one ever considers a man can be a victim. Even in many of the crime show series, the police make fun of men/suspect getting raped in prisons and servicing all the prisoners, being the prison bitch etc. This is fully accepted in our society, if a male detective were to threaten a female in the same way-I am talking TV only not real life-imagine the uproar. IRL I don't know but TV is popular culture, that this is accepted is interesting. Culturally it seems male suffering is tolerated or even not considered-even by men themselves.

 

Sometimes I wonder if being good looking is a curse more than a blessing?

[+ FreshFluff]

Anecdotally at least it does seem that more guys compartmentalize sex and are more down for random one-off encounters with strangers than women, so a random offer of sex is less likely to be unwelcome, and if they get something in return in addition, I think more men on average are likely to go ahead with it and not really think too much about it.

 

And then there's the whole macho thing of not wanting to be seen as a victim. So there are forces that lower the incidence and forces that lower the reporting.

 

Agree with both of these.

 

You have to remember that crimes are also largely crimes of opportunity. Typically, a female abuse victim is at a disadvantage both professionally and physically, in the sense she is not likely able to take her assailant in a fair fight. With a male potential victim, you run a greater risk of getting your ass kicked. That is going to lower the incidence of males getting sexually assaulted/harassed right off the bat.

 

True but very few men will beat up a female boss, even in self-defense. They might kick a male boss' ass if he's really gone over the line.

[+ WilliamM]

They have spoken about the abuse of male pages once, that I know of. Can we say Mark Foley.

 

Also Gary Studds, Congressman from Massachusetts

[Gvtire]

Also Gary Studds, Congressman from Massachusetts

 

Forgot about him

[+ sniper]

You pretty much described all of Harvey Weintein's victims. Does that make it ok?

Not saying it's okay, just that the male victims may - on average - perceive less damage.

[samhexum]

A male model is suing renowned fashion photographer Bruce Weber for allegedly forcing him to rub his own genitals — and sucking on the man’s fingers — at a creepy casting session.

 

Jason Boyce says the disturbing incident with Weber — who is best known for his work in Vogue and Rolling Stone magazines — occurred in December 2014 at the photographer’s Manhattan studio.

 

When Boyce arrived for the shoot three years ago, Weber closed the door to the studio, leaving the two alone in a back room, according to the Manhattan Supreme Court suit.

 

“Mr. Boyce, who had been photographed numerous times in the past, was then subjected to a series of practices by Mr. Weber that were unlike any he had experienced previously,” the suit says.

 

At the time, Boyce was 28, Weber 68.

 

After snapping a few shots of the steely-eyed blond, who has appeared in Lexus and Amazon ads, Weber told Boyce, “You’re very tense,” straddled him and rubbed oil onto his forehead, the suit says.

 

“Mr. Weber then instructed Mr. Boyce to stand up for more photographs,” according to court papers.

 

Weber suddenly ordered Boyce to remove his shirt and pants, even though it’s customary for photographers to provide advance notice if the model will be asked to pose nude, the suit says.

 

Boyce obeyed, remembering his agent’s instructions that he had to “nail this” because of Weber’s influence in the industry.

 

Weber’s portfolio includes portraits of a young Richard Gere, Kate Moss and David Bowie.

 

But the Oklahoma native froze when Weber asked him to expose his genitals, the papers say. After admonishing the model once again for being “so tense,” Weber reached over and removed Boyce’s underwear, the suit says.

 

After taking more photographs, Weber “instructed Mr. Boyce to put his hands on himself, ‘wherever you feel your energy go,'” according to court papers.

 

When Boyce put his hand on his chest, Weber moved it down to his groin, the suit says.

 

“Mr. Weber grabbed Mr. Boyce’s arm, and moved it back and forth, so that Mr. Boyce was forced to rub his own genitals,” the suit says.

 

Weber then moved Mr. Boyce’s hand to his own groin and put the model’s fingers in his mouth, the suit says.

 

Boyce recalls being “terrified and repulsed.”

 

Weber allegedly whispered, “If you just had confidence, you’d go really far” and “How far do you want to make it? How ambitious are you?”

 

When Boyce didn’t respond, Weber removed the model’s fingers from his mouth, dropped his hand from his genitals and said, “You know what? Put your underwear on. I think we’re done here,” the suit says.

 

Before Boyce could leave, Weber allegedly grabbed him and kissed him on the lips, according to the filing.

 

The next day, Boyce’s agent asked how it went, and he texted back, “weird.”

 

The agent, Jason Kanner of Soul Artist Management, replied that he wasn’t asking about the shoot but rather about the photographs, the suit says.

 

When Weber tried to contact Boyce over FaceTime in the following months, he made sure to answer only when he was in a visibly public place, the suit says.

 

Boyce had one more casting call at Weber’s studio, but the photographer was not present.

 

“Mr. Boyce felt intense dread at the thought of a modeling career in an industry where Mr. Weber was considered by many to be a top photographer and primary champion of male models,” he says in court papers.

 

“He was worried that he would continue to run into Mr. Weber throughout his career. He experienced anxiety, depression, and high levels of stress,” the suit says.

 

So he moved back to California and never returned to New York for modeling work, the suit says.

 

Boyce’s agent dropped him in September 2016.

 

“Upon information and belief, Mr. Weber has engaged in similar conduct with other male models referred to him by Mr. Kanner and Soul Artist, and Mr. Kanner and Soul Artist are aware of such conduct,” Boyce says in court papers.

 

Kanner and Weber, who is married to collaborator Nan Bush, did not immediately return messages seeking comment.

 

http://attheloft.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54ecca8b98833016302bb3d5a970d-pi

[jjkrkwood]

Gee, why didn't I become a photographer ?

[Bearofdistinction]

Why when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up --

 

Why didn't I say I want to be Gorgeous

[+ nycman]

The young men are too busy using their “assets”to get ahead in this world.

They don’t want to stop the “abuse”....it’s a damn good gig for some.

 

Or as my buddies and I used to say when we were young, cute and poor....

 

“Use what ya got...to get whatever ya don’t got”.......it worked for us!

 

I’m sorry, but I never found it that hard to politely remove someone’s

hand, say no thank you, walk away,and move on if I wasn’t interested.

Or to keep going for that matter....if I was.

 

Did I lose, or miss out, on some opportunities whenever I said

“No, thank you”?...sure I did. Welcome to the real world!

Edited December 3, 2017 by nycman

[Harry Grant]

I imagine that the younger chaps saw it more as an unethical and this-is-the-industry quid pro quo rather than abuse.