I'd have given different advice

[samhexum]

Gregory Giangrande has over 25 years of experience as a chief human resources executive. Hear Greg Weds. at 9:35 a.m. on iHeartRadio 710 WOR with Len Berman and Michael Riedel. E-mail: GoToGreg@NYPost.com. Follow: GoToGreg.com and on Twitter: @greggiangrande

DEAR GREG: I’m a 64-year-old man, and I have been with my current employer for nine years. Due to life setbacks, I can’t retire yet. I’ve been in my industry for 15 years, so I’m knowledgeable and competent. I despise workplace drama, but I work with a group of women who have a lot of turmoil in their lives which spills over into the workplace. Their daily conduct is catty, juvenile, and with disregard for proper business modicum. Do I tough it out, or look for something hopefully better?

This has the makings of a great sitcom. How about looking at this as an opportunity to play a leading role in this “Sex and the City” meets “The Office” situation? Seriously, it doesn’t sound as if you’re finding any of this funny.

There’s no harm in trying to change jobs. I don’t know how strong the market is for your skillset but while you look, perhaps try to mentor this cast of characters, become the wise sage who helps keep them grounded. It sounds like they could use the coaching. That might give you new purpose so instead of “toughing it out” you can ride it out more positively. would claw your eyes out for injecting your old fashioned male chauvinist opinions into the situation, but go ahead anyway!

[samhexum]

Dear Abby: I am a 47-year-old gay man. I’m well-educated, but there’s something I can’t figure out. Why do straight guys NOT want to be friends? I never hit on them, I enjoy a lot of the same pastimes like games, working on cars, etc. I want to be transparent, but when I tell them upfront, they disappear.

Sometimes it gets back to me that they thought I was asking them on a date if I invited someone to go to a ballgame, for example. I have plenty of female friends, but what I really want is a male best friend or, hell, just a male friend, period.

Of course, everyone has their own opinions on what I should do — “join a meeting, a group, social activities and blah blah.” I have done all of those things, and I can’t figure out what’s wrong. I have now learned to just keep my mouth shut and not invite anyone to do anything.

Any suggestions would be welcomed, but I have pretty much tried everything, including seeing a counselor.

— Curious in Oklahoma

Dear Curious: The problem you’re having with straight men may be that they are nervous about being perceived as “gay by association” if they are friendly with you. Some may also find the concept of being friends with a gay man to be threatening.

Taking part in group activities and outings is certainly a way to connect with others regardless of sexual orientation. Eventually, you’ll meet people and form friendships. In the meantime, appreciate those female friends of yours and ask them for some input, too.  Try wearing something other than a jockstrap and leather harness when you speak to them.

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Dear Abby: My husband and I are expecting our second child. Our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, so we were overjoyed to find out I was pregnant again, this time with a little girl. We’ve already given her the name “Mandy.”

Everything was going well until a month ago. My mother-in-law came over for her birthday to have cake. I hadn’t seen her all weekend. Because our relationship isn’t as good as it could be, I didn’t ask her why. Two days later she announced to my husband she had COVID and we should get tested, too. She had spent that entire weekend out, running around, seeing people and going places. Then she came to our home where I was 21 weeks pregnant and doing everything to keep this pregnancy.

I became violently ill for two weeks and,  although I recovered, I spent three nights in the hospital because our baby is now suffering from my being sick. I am now on bed rest. We have no option other than getting through day by day to help buy Mandy more time inside to grow. I am struggling with anger and resentment toward my MIL, but I’m trying to stay positive and avoid the toxicity so that Mandy has a fighting chance. When all this settles down, how do I even begin to address this with my MIL?

— Incensed in the east

Dear Incensed: You are doing the right thing now by focusing on your little girl. How you deal with this in the future should be guided by the answer to this question: When your mother-in-law learned you had gotten sick because she exposed you, did she apologize?

If she knew she “had a little something” and came over anyway, let that guide you and your husband in your interactions with her in the future because her judgment is atrocious. If not, try to forgive her for this awful scare and let her build bridges if she’s capable of it.    KILL THE BITCH!

Dear Abby: Four years ago, I found out my husband of 28 years had a fling with a co-worker. Two weeks after it was exposed, the girl quit. I was devastated, but we reconciled.

During our reconciliation, I learned that five or six years before the affair, my best friend, “Molly,” had made some moves on my husband on an overnight work trip. (She is known to be a little loose.) She was the manager of a seasonal store, and they had to go to another store about five hours away, which entailed staying overnight. He never again mentioned the affair.

I have ghosted Molly ever since. She was my best friend since childhood, and I felt it was the ultimate betrayal. As far as I’m concerned, she’s out of my life. She has recently begun sending me requests on Facebook. I know in time she will call again. I don’t want to talk to her, nor do I know what to say. Please help me.

— Burned in the South

Dear Burned: Stop hiding. If Molly calls you, accept her call, tell her you know what she did with your husband on that trip, that you feel it was the ultimate betrayal and you do not want to hear from her again. Then end the call.   KILL THE BITCH!

Some days this advice thing is so easy!

Edited April 27, 2022 by samhexum
just for the hell of it

[samhexum]

Dear Abby: I am a newlywed. My husband and I are looking for a house to settle down in, but we’re struggling to find one we like that we can afford. My in-laws, who are moving, offered to sell us their house for a very generous price. The house is in a great neighborhood, but it’s old and outdated and has HVAC and plumbing problems.

I think the house would be the perfect place for my husband and me to raise a family if we had some renovations made. However, we have talked to my in-laws about this, and they are very attached to this house and very against having any renovations made to it. My husband is happy to buy it and not have the renovations made, but I’m not so sure. What should I do?

— House Hunter in California

Dear House Hunter: You and your husband should talk with your in-laws together. While I understand their sentimental attachment to the house, they are being unrealistic and controlling. If they were to sell it to strangers, you can bet the first thing that would happen would be renovations. HVAC, plumbing, electrical and roof problems cost a fortune to keep fixing over time if they are not dealt with. Don’t they want their grandchildren raised in a nice, safe home in a great neighborhood? If the answer is yes, they need to loosen the reins. If not, then you should keep looking.  Threaten his parents that unless they sell you the house for a cheap price AND  pay for any and all repairs, they'll never see those grandchildren.

Dear Abby: I’m a veteran with a nonservice-connected back injury. I need artificial discs between several vertebrae. The hospitals and clinics ignored my condition for the past 25 years. I will have an MRI soon. My fiancee is a nurse and does not have the money for the operation I need. A wealthy female friend has offered to fund it. Should I ask my fiancee for permission since this friend is a woman?

— Getting a Chance in Oklahoma

Dear Getting: You should definitely clear it with your fiancee. If she loves you, she will agree that you are fortunate to have such a generous friend. However, if she’s insecure, you will then have to decide which is more important — your health or your relationship. I know which one I’d choose.

Break up with the fiancee, let the friend finance the operation, then insinuate yourself into her will, kill her, and win back the fiancee by buying her love.

Dear Abby: My college-age daughter who still lives with me is addicted to caffeine. I am considering slowly replacing the regular coffee with decaf without telling her. I don’t want to tell her, as this may get in her head, and she may react by having withdrawal symptoms. I don’t think she would be angry, because she knows I am always looking out for her. What do you think?

— Mom With a Plan

 

Dear Mom: Quit being a helicopter barista. Have enough respect for your college-age daughter to tell her the amount of coffee she consumes is a concern for you. Then ask if she would like your help to cut back. Withdrawal symptoms from caffeine are real, and your daughter might wonder what’s wrong when she experiences symptoms of withdrawal if you keep her in the dark. Make the switch, but sprinkle a minute amount of cocaine into the coffee grounds so she still gets that little 'oomph' that she gets from non-decaf.  VOILA!  She won't get withdrawal symptoms from switching to decaf.  Problem solved.

Edited April 29, 2022 by samhexum
just for the hell of it

[samhexum]

Dear Abby: For more than 20 years, my mother-in-law has shown blatant favoritism toward my husband’s younger brother. Several people, including her own mother and my father-in-law, have tried to discuss it with her, but she refuses. My husband has accepted that there is nothing he can do to change her behavior.

Abby, she has recently, on the rare occasions we see her (once every three to four years), started making snide comments, implying she’s “concerned,” regarding the intellect of our children, one of whom is in an AP program.

While my husband accepts her lack of love for him and would never cease contact with her, I find her difficult to be around because she is just plain cruel. I would like to discourage her from visiting us in the future. Am I wrong to feel as I do?

— Proud Wife and Mom

 

Dear Proud: No. By all means keep your mother-in-law away from the grandchildren, because even though she sees them rarely, she’ll likely find some way to make them feel “less than.” If you thought someone was tainting their food, you wouldn’t stand by and watch. Well, the same is true if someone is attempting to lower their self-esteem with snide comments.  KILL THE BITCH!  (I seem to be offering that advice a lot lately.)

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married for 35 years. Five years ago, he lost the ability to perform sexually. I admit it hasn’t been a priority since I’ve gotten older and have some health issues. We have figured out other ways to enjoy each other. The problem is, he makes ugly comments about our lack of intimacy as if it’s my fault he can’t perform. The comments are hurtful and cause me to not want to do anything.

It seems he can turn any remark I make about something into one about sex, and my feelings are often hurt. One minute he’s saying how he wouldn’t change anything about our life together, and the next he’s saying something mean. I’m at a loss about what to do. It’s almost like he’s two different people. I dread nighttime because that’s when it starts. Any ideas?

— Extremely Frustrated

Dear Frustrated: Your husband may be embarrassed, angry and frustrated that he can no longer perform, and he’s projecting all of that onto you. He could also be starting to “lose it.” I assume you have expressed to him how hurtful his remarks are. Now it’s time to discuss this with your family physician, who knows your husband better than I do.  KILL THE BASTARD! (REALLY?!?  People need to write in for common sense advice?)

Dear Abby: Under what circumstances is it socially acceptable to read a stranger’s tattoo? I often admire the beautiful artwork, and one can appreciate that with a quick glance. But nowadays, I often encounter people tattooed with a phrase, a quote or even a whole paragraph on their body. Is it rude to stop, stare and read the tattoo? Should I first ask permission?

— Intrigued in St. Louis, Mo.

Dear Intrigued: When in doubt, ALWAYS ask permission before ogling. If you don’t, your admiration could be misconstrued, which could get you in trouble, depending upon where the tattoo is located.  THAT DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION; IF YOU STOP TO READ DURING SEX, YOUR PARTNER MIGHT FIND THAT RUDE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU CHARGE BY THE HOUR.

 

Edited May 2, 2022 by samhexum
just for the hell of it

[samhexum]

I FEEL LIKE  A BROKEN RECORD (YOUNGER READERS GOOGLE WHAT A RECORD IS)

DEAR ABBY: A year ago, when I discovered my husband’s porn videos and naked pictures of his ex-girlfriends, he assured me he would delete them. It has been a year, and he still hasn’t done it. When I mention it, he claims he doesn’t look at them and doesn’t have time to delete them. I ask him to be honest with me about if he intends to keep them, but he insists he “will” delete them. It makes me believe he has an emotional attachment to these women. How should I continue to deal with this issue? — HE’S GOT A WIFE NOW

DEAR WIFE: Your husband may be less emotionally attached to the ex-girlfriends than titillated by their pictures. From what you have written, your husband isn’t being completely honest with you. And THAT is the issue you should be dealing with, with the help of a licensed counselor, because solid marriages are based on trust, and there can’t be trust without honesty.  KILL THE BASTARD!

DEAR ABBY: Our 24-year-old daughter is dating a 28-year-old divorced man who has two kids. Her father is very upset about it and refuses to meet him. The reason is the children. We both think they will be a burden to our daughter and she will eventually have problems with his ex-wife. How can we tell her we don’t accept him without pushing her away or making her break up with him? She doesn’t live with us. — SAD IN FLORIDA

DEAR SAD: At 24, your daughter is an adult. At this point, she should have achieved enough independence to decide — without coercion — with whom she wants to be romantically involved.

 

I do not advise refusing to meet the man she cares about because it may be counterproductive. Children from prior relationships do not necessarily cause problems, and not all ex-spouses fly around on brooms causing trouble. You and your husband should make an effort to get to know him and, if you see red flags afterward, point them out then.  KILL THE BASTARD!

DEAR ABBY: I’m a front desk clerk at a hotel where a regular guest has stayed for years. We have become acquainted as we’re both retired teachers and each have written books. When she told me she could no longer afford to stay at the hotel, I offered her my spare bedroom to use on occasion, and she calls at least once a month to stay here.

My husband is over it. The whole evening revolves around this woman. Since I have gotten to know her better, I have realized she’s very self-centered. She barely thanks us for her stay, although we include her in our dinner plans and she eats breakfast here as well. I’m a softy and I have used various excuses to stop this. Any suggestions for me, a coward, to call a halt to her inviting herself to my house for the night? — SOFTY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR SOFTY: Yes. Quit making excuses and tell her almost all of the truth, which is that your husband is “over it” and therefore she will have to make other plans. Period.  KILL THE BITCH!

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Dear Abby: I have a daughter, “Molly,” who is in her late 30s. Her father and I divorced when she was an infant, and I raised her, with help from my family, until I remarried. Her father had visitation and paid child support, but that’s where it ended. Throughout Molly’s life, I have taken care of all medical expenses, extracurricular activities, etc., and I sacrificed so she could have what she needed.

The problem I’m having is that she treats me badly, while her father, his family, her husband’s family and members of my family are put on a pedestal. The disrespectful way she talks to me and her superior attitude have sent me into depression. She doesn’t answer texts or return my phone calls unless she feels like it or wants something.

There’s the possibility that I’ll be coming into some money soon, and I have been thinking about changing my will and not leaving her anything. I am seeing a therapist to figure out why I can’t tell her how much her words and actions hurt me. I love Molly very much, but I don’t like her. Shouldn’t she be the one in therapy to figure out why she treats me this way?

 

— Mistreated Mom in Georgia

Dear Mom: People don’t usually seek therapy unless they are hurting, as you are. Don’t waste your time waiting for her to seek help for something she doesn’t think is a problem. Your daughter is fine with the status quo because you haven’t drawn the line and demanded to be treated with consideration. I don’t know if she’s aware that you are about to come into money, but when she finds out, you may discover she has a sudden change of attitude.

If the money comes through, I hope you will spend that windfall on things you enjoy — travel, cultural events, all the activities you missed out on while sacrificing for Molly. You deserve it; she doesn’t. Please tell your therapist I said so. I’m quite sure your therapist will agree.  IF YOUR THERAPIST HAS ANY DEGREE OF COMPETENCY SHE'LL HELP OPEN YOUR EYES TO THE OVERBEARING, NEEDY PERSON YOU MOST LIKELY ARE, WHICH WOULD EXPLAIN WHY YOUR POOR DAUGHTER APPEARS TO HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH ANYONE OTHER THAN YOU !  (OR JUST KILL THE BITCH!)

Dear Abby: I renovated and moved into my girlfriend’s house a year ago, to the tune of $80,000. We have been together 12 years and agreed that although neither of us wants to remarry, we should stop paying two mortgages because we are nearing retirement and should save money.Your stories live here.Fuel your hometown passion and plug into the stories that define it.She has an old cat that is peeing all over the house. She says, “What do you want me to do about it?” I’m asking her to help me figure something out, but after more than a year of dealing with her cat peeing on everything from my children’s beds to the carpets, nothing has changed. What can I say to get through to her that this is ruining our home and potentially getting people sick? I can’t have guests over because of the smell.
Dear Frustrated: You and your girlfriend should discuss this with the cat’s veterinarian to find out if the animal’s behavior is age-related and can’t be controlled or a behavioral problem that can be corrected. Please don’t wait to do it! You have my sympathy. 

TELL HER THE BENEFITS OF HER PUSSY DON'T OUTWEIGH THE PROBLEMS WITH HER PUSSY.  (OR JUST KILL THE BITCH!)

Edited May 6, 2022 by samhexum
just for the hell of it

[samhexum]

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, “Rowan,” and I are getting married this year. It is my second marriage and his first. Rowan has a young son I’ll call “Sean” from a previous relationship. I have a good relationship with Sean, and expressed to Rowan that I’d love to include Sean on our honeymoon, so we can have a proper first family vacation. (Rowan’s custody agreement states that no unmarried parties may live together when their child is present in the home.)

Rowan was enthusiastic about it, since I’ll finally be able to have proper bonding time with Sean in a home environment overnight. But when I bring this up with anyone else, they say I am selfish for wanting to play “Mom” and include my soon-to-be stepson on a vacation that’s supposed to be for just me and my fiance.

We want to share this time with his son and have a fun family vacation. Are we doing the wrong thing? Should we leave Sean out? Why, with so many different family dynamics, is wanting to include Rowan’s son regarded as selfish?

 

— UNSELFISH IN THE SOUTH

DEAR UNSELFISH PEDOPHILE: You and Rowan should listen to your hearts instead of listening to unsolicited advice. Wanting to include Sean on the trip is the opposite of selfish, and it is your and your fiance’s privilege to decide.  HOW ARE YOU PLANNING ON GETTING RID OF ROWAN SO YOU AND THE KID CAN HAVE A PROPER HONEYMOON?

DEAR ABBY: My husband’s daughter has decided that her children should not call me “Grandma,” because I’m not their biological grandmother. She says her mother is their grandma and not me, even though her father and I have been together since before the birth of her children.

 

Eight years later, she told them not to call me Grandma. I am so hurt about it I can no longer bring myself to go over to their house. Please tell me how I can deal with being so blatantly disrespected by my husband’s daughter. I seem to be good only for birthday presents and Christmas gifts.

— SLIGHTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SLIGHTED: I subscribe to the philosophy that the more love there is in this world, the better. I would take it a step further and add that the more loving grandparents there are in a child’s life, the better. Your stepdaughter’s announcement to the children at this late date that you are not their grandmother seems spiteful and hurtful. That said, there’s nothing positive to be gained by shunning the children if you love them. What they call you is less important than the relationship you have with them. If you continue staying away as you have been doing, you will only drive a deeper wedge between you.  (you know the answer that's coming) KILL THE BITCH!

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Dear Abby: I am widowed after 45 years of marriage. A male work friend of 20 of those years wants to have a relationship with me but he’s still married. We have already had incredible phone sex because he said he’s in a sexless marriage. I enjoy our long conversations. He lives up north and I reside in Florida, so we won’t meet in person. Since his wife refuses him sex and because he has been attracted to me from the day we met at work 20 years ago, what do you think about our continued phone sex?

— Good Call in Florida

Dear Good Call SLUT/WHORE/TRAMP: To paraphrase William Shakespeare, “A rose is a rose by any other name.” So is adultery. If, after having had 45 years of a presumably happy marriage, your goal might be to form a relationship that possibly leads to cohabitation, I would urge you to find someone who’s available, rather than settle for phone sex that will lead nowhere with someone who’s unavailable. 

AS LONG AS YOU ARE A WANTON, AMORAL HARLOT, WHY NOT ALSO HAVE A PHONE SEX RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS WIFE?  THAT WAY NOBODY HAS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT ANYTHING.

 

Dear Abby: Is there a polite way to ask my neighbor where his wife is? I’ve lived in a neighborhood for four years where most people keep to themselves. During COVID, I noticed this female neighbor taking multiple walks each day. I introduced myself and sometimes came across her on my walk. She was pleasant but didn’t seem interested in being “friendly.” She was ALWAYS on her phone every time she left the house. They have a young, teenage daughter who sometimes walked with her mom.

I haven’t seen the woman in more than a year. The daughter and dad sometimes walk together with the dog. My reason for wanting to know is to understand their circumstance – did she pass away, did she leave her husband? It’s like she simply vanished.

— Concerned Neighbor in a Small Town

Dear Concerned MRS. KRAVITZ: The next time you see the husband say, “I used to see your wife walking so often. I haven’t seen her in about a year. How is she?”  IF HE KILLED THE BITCH, WHAT WILL YOU DO WHEN HE GOES AFTER YOU FOR STICKING YOUR NOSE WHERE IT DOESN'T BELONG?

Dear Abby: For the last 14 months, I’ve been in a relationship with a man I adore. Things have been great. There’s just one problem, though, that really bothers me. He rents a room (his living room, actually) to his ex-girlfriend.

In the beginning, I didn’t feel I had the right to say anything about it, and he assured me she would eventually move. Well, now we can’t even discuss the issue without getting upset. He says it’s financial. I say he could find another roommate. I suspect he’s just making excuses. I don’t think we can move forward in our relationship with this baggage in our way. I need some advice.

— Third Wheel in California

Dear Wheel: Actually, I’m not sure you need my advice because your thinking is crystal clear. This man COULD find another “roommate” if he was so inclined. My intuition tells me he may be getting more from his “ex”-girlfriend than rent money. I completely agree that your relationship won’t move forward with that “baggage” in the way. That’s why it’s time to … move on.  KILL THE BITCH!

Edited May 11, 2022 by samhexum
just for the hell of it

[samhexum]

Dear Abby: My husband of 55 years never talks to me anymore. Unless I initiate conversation, he sits in silence, staring off into space. He says he has “nothing to say.” It drives me crazy. I suppose, after all these years, anything he says has been said before, but still, it leaves me feeling lonely and unloved.

When I tell him how it makes me feel, he says it isn’t the case, but he never changes. We don’t have TV, and I can read and do crossword puzzles by myself for just so long. I really look forward to the evening, when I can start drinking my whiskey, so I have a little pleasure in my life. I don’t have more than a couple of drinks because I understand the health risks, but tell me, what else can I do?

— Talking to Myself in Texas

Dear Talking: What you can do is quit drinking to ease your loneliness and get out of the house. Socialize with others at least once a week. Look into opportunities to volunteer in your community. Take your husband with you if you can pry him out of his chair. The only thing you should NOT do is continue on the path you’re on.   MASTURBATE!

 

Dear Abby: For a few years, I volunteered to tend to an elderly woman through a hospice organization. My role was to visit with her while her son ran errands or enjoyed an evening of entertainment. I grew fond of her and her family.

For my 70th birthday, her daughter, son and daughter-in-law hosted an at-home dinner in my honor. It was good fun. In addition to a tasty dinner and homemade birthday cake, there were presents: wine, gag wine glass and a birthday card with a gift card enclosed. The wine is long gone, and I have used the wine glass ever since.

I left the gift card in the birthday card and set it aside. I recently wanted to buy a $20 coffee mug online, so I pulled out the gift card and was shocked to see the value of the card is almost four times more than the mug I fancied. I feel the gift is too much. How do I gracefully return the very generous gift?

— Overwhelmed in Washington

Dear Overwhelmed: Your heart is in the right place, but please do not reject that family’s gift of gratitude for what you did for their mother — and for them — during a difficult time. To do otherwise would be a breach of etiquette. Your acts of kindness are worth every penny, and you are deserving of what was given to you. A $75 GIFT CARD HAS THIS THIS VERKLEMPT?  JEEZ, ARE ALL WASHINGTONIANS SO EASILY IMPRESSED?

[samhexum]

Dear Abby: I am a freshman at a Midwestern university, and I love it. I finished my first semester with straight A’s, and my second semester has been strong. I have a great group of friends and have already made plenty of memories. My problem is I have been having a disagreement with my mom. I would like to rush a sorority in the fall, and while my dad is fine with it, my mother won’t even entertain the topic.

I’ve never shared a lot with her regarding my social life because she has always been very strict (for instance, my dad knows I enjoy tailgating and partying as long as my grades are good). I am very responsible and always take care of everything that needs to be completed before I let myself have fun. Dad knows this and trusts me. However, I couldn’t fathom telling my mom about it.

 

I think part of the problem is she grew up abroad, and when she came to the U.S. for college in the 1990s, she faced a severe culture shock. We have always been very different people. Contrary to what she may think, my main reason for joining a sorority is not “to party.” It’s an attractive option for off-campus housing, and I think it would be an effective way to meet more people (especially at such a big school). If I don’t like how rush pans out for me, I have no issue with dropping out, but I think it would be worth a try.

I want to have an open conversation with Mom, but she is very close-minded. I don’t want to go behind her back, because I think that would only do more harm than good. How should I navigate this conversation?

— Going Greek?

Dear Going: As much as you dread it, you must have a sit-down, comprehensive conversation with your mother about this. Emphasize the benefits of being in a sorority. She may be concerned because in some Greek organizations there have been severe abuses of the pledges, some of which were so dangerous that students lost their lives. You may also want to research the compliance history of the Greek organizations on your campus before addressing the subject with your mother, so you can allay any concerns she has.

(all together now...) KILL THE BITCH!

Dear Abby: My 27-year-old daughter has issues due to a bitter divorce between her father and me. She treats us poorly, blames her problems on us and feels she is justified. How do I handle this? I don’t think she respects either of us much. As for our relationship, we get along as long as things are going OK for her. But if she’s having a difficult day, I get the blame. Advice?

— Cold-Shouldered in New York

Dear Cold-Shouldered: Tolerating your daughter’s behavior isn’t healthy for either of you. Encourage her to seek professional help for her “issues,” and when she starts the blame game or being disrespectful, shorten the visit, end the phone call or otherwise distance yourself.  (all together now...) KILL THE BITCH!

[samhexum]

Dear Abby: I have been with my 45-year-old boyfriend, “Doug,” for six years. His mother, who was widowed five years ago, has moved here to Florida from New Jersey. Doug is very protective of her, which I kind of understand because she’s 63. Yeah… and???

The kicker is, she has started flashing her breasts at us. I’m pretty sure she does it to Doug when I’m not around as well. I have mentioned to him multiple times about how disturbing it is, but he brushes it off and refuses to confront her. We have adult children, and she recently went into the pool with all of them with nothing on. It is starting to worry me. I don’t want to be the one to confront her because it will get ugly. A nude 63 year old woman? It’s already ugly. — Flashed in Florida

Dear Flashed: Has Doug’s mother always been a “free spirit” slut who thinks flashing and skinny-dipping are amusing, or is her exhibitionistic behavior something new? If she has always been this way, someone should point out that what she’s doing is inappropriate unless it’s clear that nobody minds being filmed for onlyfans. In this case, YOU mind, and I wouldn’t be surprised if your adult children were also less than enthusiastic about nauseated by the woman’s performance. If her exhibitionism is something new, then she should be evaluated, first by a doctor who specializes in geriatric patients and, if necessary, referred to one a saleswoman who specializes in geriatric psychiatry finding the perfect-fitting bra.

[samhexum]

DEAR ABBY:

We recently found out my 19-year-old daughter is pregnant. This is her first boyfriend, and she is absolutely smitten with him. He has asked her to marry him, and we are excited and happy for her, but there is one thing we are having a hard time with: I am almost certain he is cheating on her.

They live with us, so I can see the signs — he says he’s working late, and several times even told her he had to work all night. He’s always on his phone, and he never allows her to see it. He keeps it on silent and face down. When he gets a text message (which is often), he immediately says he has to go to the bathroom. Then he stays in there for about a half-hour.

I’ve tried talking to her about what I’m seeing, but she gets mad at me. She says she trusts him and insists he would never cheat on her. It’s painful to watch this happening to her, and I don’t know how to handle it. Should I continue bringing it up or let her find out on her own? — KNOWS ALL TOO WELL

DEAR KNOWS PARENT WHO RAISED A MORON:

You have already brought it up. Your daughter should not rush into marriage just because she is pregnant, if that’s her intention. Because her boyfriend is living with you, he’s likely not mature or financially stable enough to be married to anyone. (What do his parents think about this?)

I was tempted to advise you to hire a private investigator to find out if the young man is really working late or all night, but I’m not sure you need to go to that expense. The truth will eventually reveal itself. In the meantime, give your daughter plenty of emotional support because she is going to need it, and probably more. RAISED AN IDIOT WHO SHOULD NOT BE PASSING HER GENES ON TO ANYONE.

 

DEAR ABBY:

I married my high school sweetheart in 1967. In 1979, after 12 years of marriage, we refinanced our mortgage so we could add a room. During the credit check, it was brought to my attention that my wife had borrowed $14,000 and opened a secret mailbox in a different town to hide it from me.

The problem was, and still is, that she has refused for 52 years to tell me what it was for. Needless to say, my trust in her was shaken. She had no drinking, gambling or drug problems. I must have asked her a thousand times what she needed the money for, and still no answer. Our marriage went downhill, I had an affair, and we separated.

In 1990, we got back together, but it wasn’t the same. The kids were grown, so four years later we divorced. I’m 75 now, remarried 20 years ago, and I still can’t figure out why she couldn’t tell me the truth to save our marriage. (Abortion keeps popping into my mind.) A day does not go by that it doesn’t enter my mind even all these years later. My kids are estranged because all they know is that I had an affair. I suppose I will be wondering until my dying day. Advice? — STILL IN THE DARK

DEAR STILL:

What your ex-wife needed that money for is anybody’s guess. She may have used it to bail out a friend who was in trouble. She also could have been paying off a blackmailer. The possibilities are so varied that guessing her motive could be a parlor game.

Since you asked, my advice to you is to finally let the past stay in the past and quit upsetting yourself over something you will never get a straight answer about. There are few more effective ways to diminish the joys of the present than to do what you are doing.  GET SOME MATH LESSONS. '52 YEARS' MAKES NO SENSE GIVEN THE FACT THAT YOU FOUND OUT 43 YEARS AGO.

[samhexum]

DEAR ABBY: My dear friend “Rose’s” husband died five years ago, and since then she has struggled with grief and loneliness. She immersed herself in her church, friends and family. We usually talked three to five times per week and we traveled together.

Rose decided to explore online dating. She met a man and her entire life changed. She has become totally involved, dependent, isolated and controlled. He wants nothing to do with any of her family, friends or church family. Rose has ceased all communication with others. In two months’ time she bought a life insurance policy, moved in with him and sold her house. No one knows her address or contact information. She has deleted her friends from Facebook and has ceased all communication with her family.

If asked, I believe she would say she’s happy. Meanwhile, we are left saddened, shocked and angry. Must we simply accept her lifestyle choice and move on? — BAFFLED IN IOWA

DEAR BAFFLED: Your friend appears to have become involved with a man who is more than a little controlling. That she would buy a life insurance policy, sell her house (!) and move in with him within the space of two months is, frankly, shocking.

That said, however, Rose is an adult and has the right to make her own decisions, although it would have been immeasurably better had she run this scenario by an attorney or other trusted adviser before jumping in to the extent she has. If it’s any comfort to you, although you no longer have her contact information, I am sure she knows how to reach you and her family if she feels the need. START A PODCAST ABOUT THE SITUATION.

DEAR ABBY: I’ve been divorced for 18 years. My sister is also divorced. Recently, she has been going out with my ex. He picks her up at our parents’ house, where she has been living. When I’m there, I have to see this. My parents don’t say anything to her about it, and I don’t know why. When I was married to him, they always told me they disliked him. So now that their other daughter associates with him, they are keeping silent?

This bothers me so much I no longer speak to her. I feel she has backstabbed me and cares only about herself. How do I make it through this? It haunts me. I need your opinion. Can you help? — HURTING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR HURTING: It has been nearly two decades since you and your ex-husband parted ways. Surely your family has been aware of the reasons for it. That your sister exercises such poor judgment that she would become involved with him is sad.

While I understand why you are less than thrilled by this, rest assured your sister will learn her lesson sooner or later. A way to get through this would be to spend less time at your parents’ house and schedule an appointment with a psychotherapist to help you deal with your pain. SO GET THE FUCK OVER IT.

[samhexum]

A Reddit poster has been getting lots of online support after refusing to skip college classes to watch seven siblings when the poster’s parents wanted to travel out of town for a getaway.

“I am 21 and am the oldest of 8 kids with the youngest being 11,” Reddit poster “scoopertrooper219” posted on the subreddit “Am I the A–hole” on November 4. 

“My parents are both trauma surgeons and have always worked odd hours, so I essentially raised my siblings until I moved out for college,” the poster continued.

The poster explained that he or she (gender not shared) is a senior in college — and moved off-campus to a three-bedroom house that is close to the family home.

“My siblings come over every weekend and my parents pay me to keep them,” the Reddit user wrote. “This is usually fine since I’m a homebody, and I love being around my siblings.”

The poster also noted that they are “very serious about school” — and that this weekend, the “third of five-weekend labs of the semester” is the priority.

“Our labs are worth 30% of our final grade,” the poster said. “I told my parents that I wouldn’t be able to have them [the siblings] over this weekend, but it seems they completely disregarded it.”

The poster went on to say that over dinner on a recent Sunday, the parents said they planned “a non-refundable weekend trip” — and when the poster told them he (or she) could not watch the younger kids, the parents “got upset.”

“We went back and forth for a while and my mom said I was being selfish and asked me to miss my lab since it was ‘only 6% of my grade,’” the poster continued.

“I told her that I didn’t have eight kids and they’re not my responsibility.”

The poster said the mom “started crying, and my dad berated me for making her cry and asked me to leave.”

The poster continued, “Neither of them will answer my texts or calls despite me apologizing, and I feel bad, but I just don’t feel like they’re seeing my side of things.”

The poster added, “I’ve attempted to tell them but they won’t even talk to me, and neither will my youngest siblings (14, 12, 11), and it’s really making me sad.” 

The poster later added, “I feel like I could be wrong here because it [the college lab] is only 6% of my grade, but also I don’t feel like my parents are valuing my education the way I do, and that’s upsetting.”

This article goes on (and on) about what they should do, but the answer is ridiculously obvious-- they are two SURGEONS.  Tell them to hire somebody to watch the kids when they go away for a few days, and if they won't, kill them, collect your share of the estate, then YOU hire somebody to watch them while YOU go away for a few days.

https://nypost.com/2022/11/09/i-told-my-parents-i-cant-skip-college-classes-to-babysit-my-siblings-my-mom-called-me-selfish/

[BSR]

On 11/9/2022 at 10:02 PM, samhexum said:

This article goes on (and on) about what they should do, but the answer is ridiculously obvious-- they are two SURGEONS.  Tell them to hire somebody to watch the kids when they go away for a few days, and if they won't, kill them, collect your share of the estate, then YOU hire somebody to watch them while YOU go away for a few days.

As always, the "different advice" is hilarious, but on a serious note, the parents are real assholes.

[samhexum]

Dear Abby: My husband passed away two years ago. I hope you can give me some advice on how to deal with my 53-year-old daughter who never left home. We generally get along well. She does freelance art, but doesn’t earn much. She contributes only $30 a month. Also, she has a driving phobia, so she doesn’t drive. She expects me to drive her to various places.
She only has cyber friends. She wants to travel, but doesn’t want to go alone and keeps pushing me to go with her, although I don’t really want to. I have suggested group tours, but she hesitates to go alone. I feel pressured to keep peace and go along with her desires. How should I handle this? — Pulling Back in Nevada

Dear Pulling Back HORRIBLE MOTHER: You have protected and enabled your daughter far too long. Tell her that her dependence on you has become too much. She must overcome her driving phobia (or at least take advantage of public transportation) and her fear of travel without you. Unless you have provided for her financially in the event of your death, how do you think she will survive living as a virtual shut-in with no employment and life skills? There are psychotherapists who specialize in ridding people of phobias. While she’s there, your daughter should also get help to gain a degree of independence, even if it’s about 30 years late.

Dear Abby: Recently, my three adult children chipped in to send their aunt dinner for her birthday. She’s 79 and doesn’t need anything; she doesn’t even go out. Financially, she’s in good shape. They placed the order, and it came to $95. Well, Abby, my elderly mom went crazy! She thought that was too little to spend on their aunt.

I think my kids were very thoughtful. They are all trying to build their lives. One has two kids, a house and a mortgage. The other just got engaged and is saving for the wedding. The third is saving for her future. My mother thinks her grandchildren should give her gifts and money. I think she should expect money from her own kids, not the grandkids. I hung up on her when she attacked my children. She always thinks she’s right. Your thoughts? — Living With a Difficult Mom

Dear Living: Was Auntie satisfied with the meal? Your mother may think she is always right, but she was wrong to criticize the amount your children spent on dinner for their aunt. That she would then announce she expects gifts and money from them is beyond presumptuous. The decision about what to give is up to the giver, not the recipient. YOUR MOTHER IS A BITCH. IGNORE HER.

Dear Abby: My sister passed away from lung cancer 10 months ago. My brother-in-law no longer wants to live in the house they shared because of too many memories, so he’s giving the house to his daughter and moving into an apartment. My other sister wants to throw him a housewarming party. Is that appropriate? — Well-Meaning in the East

Dear Well-Meaning: Of course it is, as long as it’s OK with your brother-in-law you idiot. It’s not only appropriate, it is a loving, positive gesture and, in a sense, a celebration of life. Good for her!

[samhexum]

DEAR ABBY: During a trip to Las Vegas, I kind of had a one-night stand. How do you ‘kind of’ have a one-night stand? I’m in a relationship. I felt bad afterward. Bully for you! Problem is, I started having feelings for this guy, “Leo.” We would message back and forth, more on my end than his. I guess you could say I was hung up on him. And I could say you were stalking him. I have since mended my relationship with my partner. Poor guy! (or gal)

My issue is, Leo is best friends with my best friend’s husband. All Together Now! It’s a small world after all… When he visits, I am excluded, which means I can’t hang out with her. I tell her we are all adults, we are not in high school and can be in the same room with each other. It’s not fair to me. BOOfuckingHOO! Are my feelings justified? No, they’re moronic. Any advice? Yes… tell your partner to find someone better than you.

— FEELING SHUNNED ON THE WEST COAST

DEAR FEELING SLUT: This isn’t all about YOUR feelings. You stated that you feel you can be in the same room with your best friend, her husband and Leo socially. Hasn’t it occurred to you that Leo may not be as open-minded about that fling as you are? Seeing you may make him feel guilty. This may be a case of “what happens in Vegas” not only not staying in Vegas, but also having repercussions. See your best friend when Leo isn’t around. NEVER REPRODUCE!

[+ WilliamM]

On 4/27/2022 at 12:23 AM, samhexum said:

Dear Abby: My husband and I are expecting our second child. Our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, so we were overjoyed to find out I was pregnant again, this time with a little girl. We’ve already given her the name “Mandy.”

Everything was going well until a month ago. My mother-in-law came over for her birthday to have cake. I hadn’t seen her all weekend. Because our relationship isn’t as good as it could be, I didn’t ask her why. Two days later she announced to my husband she had COVID and we should get tested, too. She had spent that entire weekend out, running around, seeing people and going places. Then she came to our home where I was 21 weeks pregnant and doing everything to keep this pregnancy.

I became violently ill for two weeks and,  although I recovered, I spent three nights in the hospital because our baby is now suffering from my being sick. I am now on bed rest. We have no option other than getting through day by day to help buy Mandy more time inside to grow. I am struggling with anger and resentment toward my MIL, but I’m trying to stay positive and avoid the toxicity so that Mandy has a fighting chance. When all this settles down, how do I even begin to address this with my MIL?

— Incensed in the east

Dear Incensed: You are doing the right thing now by focusing on your little girl. How you deal with this in the future should be guided by the answer to this question: When your mother-in-law learned you had gotten sick because she exposed you, did she apologize?

If she knew she “had a little something” and came over anyway, let that guide you and your husband in your interactions with her in the future because her judgment is atrocious. If not, try to forgive her for this awful scare and let her build bridges if she’s capable of it.    KILL THE BITCH!

Dear Abby: Four years ago, I found out my husband of 28 years had a fling with a co-worker. Two weeks after it was exposed, the girl quit. I was devastated, but we reconciled.

During our reconciliation, I learned that five or six years before the affair, my best friend, “Molly,” had made some moves on my husband on an overnight work trip. (She is known to be a little loose.) She was the manager of a seasonal store, and they had to go to another store about five hours away, which entailed staying overnight. He never again mentioned the affair.

I have ghosted Molly ever since. She was my best friend since childhood, and I felt it was the ultimate betrayal. As far as I’m concerned, she’s out of my life. She has recently begun sending me requests on Facebook. I know in time she will call again. I don’t want to talk to her, nor do I know what to say. Please help me.

— Burned in the South

Dear Burned: Stop hiding. If Molly calls you, accept her call, tell her you know what she did with your husband on that trip, that you feel it was the ultimate betrayal and you do not want to hear from her again. Then end the call.   KILL THE BITCH!

Some days this advice thing is so easy!

Ha ha ha

Easy for you maybe, but what about the person who actually fallows silly  advise

[+ WilliamM]

The original  dear Abby   Bennett Cerf, long time  panelists on What's my Line  and President of Random  House

 

 

[samhexum]

Dear Abby: I am a 61-year-old never-married woman with no kids. Most of my life was spent caring for my aging parents, working on my education (I have a master’s degree) and saving for my future. I am financially stable. I own my house free and clear, own my car and have very little credit card debt. I have a good job I enjoy, a circle of friends and many activities. I took care of my parents because it was the right thing to do, and I was prepared for their deaths when their time came.

My brother (my only sibling) died unexpectedly one year to the day after my mother’s passing. It was a terrible shock, and it has taken me the last two years to come to terms with his loss. My issue is with my brother’s widow. We have never been close. There’s no animosity, nor have there ever been any harsh words, but we never bonded.

My niece and I get along beautifully but, no matter how much I try, I can’t seem to break through to my sister-in-law. She is very dismissive of my grief. She never calls and never asks about my life. She never visits or reaches out in any way. She’s responsive and kind when I do, but the communications are one-sided.

I honestly wouldn’t miss her if I didn’t see her, but my loyalty to my brother and my desire to keep my niece out of the middle has kept me from distancing too much. Now that my parents and brother are gone, there are things I would like to pursue on my own. How much do I owe to her?

— Future-thinking in Tennessee

Dear Future-Thinking: Your brother’s widow may have been dealing with her own grief over the loss of her spouse and unable to handle yours. Be cordial to her, as she is to you, but go on with your life and relationships. Remember her on special occasions with a call, a card or an invitation. If you and your niece have a closer bond, those things should come naturally. You have handled the responsibilities life handed you with grace and generosity. It is now time for you to enjoy your own life and worry less about the lives of others. NOT A FUCKING THING!

Dear Abby: I recently left my boyfriend. He said he loved me, but I felt like a third wheel in our relationship. He had a female friend he was constantly borrowing money from, even though we both work. He also gave her relationship advice. They would bicker back and forth like 2-year-olds, and when we went places, they made me ride in the back while they were having a conversation I was never part of. He also cut me off every time I talked. When I asked him why, he said I talked about dumb things. Was I wrong for walking away?

— Bailing in Pennsylvania

Dear Bailing: Wrong? NO! The man had no respect for your feelings or for you. For all of the reasons you mentioned, you are much better off without him. I’m glad you finally summoned up enough self-esteem to end things with the two of them. To paraphrase the late Princess Diana, there were three people in your relationship. NO, YOU WERE A MORON FOR STAYING SO LONG.

[samhexum]

Dear Abby: I lost my husband of 20 years a little over two years ago. Last year, I moved to another state to be close to family. I rented an apartment, and my best friend moved with me. Shortly after, I met a much younger man. He was immediately interested in me. He’s sweet, kind and very handsome. It took me months to realize that I’m also interested in him.

We began spending time together, including bedroom fun. He has told me at least twice he loves me, and I told him the same. His demeanor and expressions match his words, and we agreed for the time being to be friends with benefits.

Three months ago, he met someone much closer to his age. But even in front of her he holds me close and tells me he loves me. She has now slapped a ring on his finger and is pushing him for marriage. He keeps saying he’s not ready. We feel that until the day he says “I do,” it’s OK for us to continue our bedroom fun. I’m new to the dating world, and he’s my first since my husband passed. Am I doing the right thing?

— Loving the Fun in Washington

Dear Loving AMORAL TRAMP: It is extremely difficult to hit a moving target. No one “slaps a ring” on another person’s finger unless that person holds still for it. You are NOT doing the right thing by continuing to sleep with this man. In fact, you may be heading for a painful fall. When he marries his fiancee, you will be history once she realizes you are more than a good friend he “loves” but also a former bed partner. WERE YOU THIS BIG A SLUT WHEN YOUR HUSBAND WAS ALIVE?

Dear Abby: Our family has a thrilling story in its history about our grandfather and his brothers rescuing the family’s player piano from their burning house. The house burned to the ground, and they lost nearly everything but the piano. which is now shuffled among family members’ homes.

It’s not particularly attractive, and it’s certainly not playable even as a regular piano. It’s one of the cheap, mass-produced, no-name models that were popular in the 1920s. There are relatives who are desperate to keep it in the family, but who don’t have the space to store it or the money to refurbish it.

I’m not sentimental. If it were dumped on me, I’d throw it out. I told them they should take lots of photos of it and get rid of it. If some family members rescued a giant TV set from a fire, it wouldn’t make sense to keep it around for 100 years.

I’m sure they enjoyed the player piano as a source of entertainment in its time, but that time has passed. My question is, how do you get people to let go of material possessions that have become a huge burden?

— Unfinished Song in New Jersey

Dear Unfinished: You stated that if someone gave you that old piano, you would junk it. If someone wants to give it a home, that is where it should go. I’m having trouble understanding why the fate of that instrument is your problem. Make it clear to your relatives that you want nothing to do with that piece of furniture and let it go. I’D BE MORE CONCERNED ABOUT WHAT YOUR FAMILY CONSIDERS A THRILLING STORY THAN WHAT SHOULD BE DONE WITH AN OLD PIECE OF JUNK.  JUST DONATE IT TO A MUSEUM AND GET A TAX WRITE-OFF AND BE DONE WITH IT.  (or just get rid of it, because I care a hell of a lot less about it than you do)

[samhexum]

SOME DAYS IT'S SO EASY...

 

• Dear Abby: Our mom just turned 100, and she is in good health. I threw a big birthday celebration to honor this amazing woman. My brother and I were adopted as infants. She gave us a fabulous childhood, and we grew up to be responsible adults.

  My brother, who’s retired, lives 6 miles from Mom, but he never goes to see her or offers any type of help he is capable of doing. He thinks a daily phone call is enough. He didn’t even show up to her birthday party. I live 40 miles from Mom. I leave early for work to spend time with her each morning.

  My brother and I do not talk, so how do I get the point across that he needs to spend TIME with her? If I mention it to Mom, she constantly makes excuses for his behavior. What can I do?

  — Frustrated Sister in Arizona

  Dear Sister: Although you and your brother were raised by the same woman, you are two different individuals. The pattern of how your brother treats Mom has been established, and because there is little time left, it isn’t likely to change. You cannot control his behavior, so quit making it your problem. You are a dutiful and loving daughter. Leave it at that. KILL THE BASTARD!

  Dear Abby: I have recently retired after 40 years of working. My wife, who still works, thinks I should get up every morning and take her to work. We live in a big city where crime happens, so she doesn’t want to take the bus. Uber and Lyft are strangers to her.

  I tried teaching her to drive — even bought her a car — but she’d rather I take her. It’s a 40-mile round trip. The traffic is crazy at that time. If I refuse, there are usually hard feelings. I don’t want to do it every morning only to have to pick her up in the evening at major traffic time. What can I do?

  — Unenthused Chauffeur

  Dear Chauffeur: Uber and Lyft and more expensive than they used to be. Even if your wife were willing to drive herself, the cost of the vehicle, insurance and fuel would cost a bundle. Encourage her to ask if she could rideshare with a co-worker and repay the person for the gas. Even if it didn’t happen every day, it might relieve some of the stress on you. Also, if she would be willing to take a bus to and from work on the lightest ridership day, it might make driving her more palatable. It’s worth a try. KILL THE BITCH!

  Dear Abby: I became “friends” with a woman recently who constantly feels the need to put me down. She criticizes my house decor, my hair, my makeup, etc. WHO DOES THIS? I like to build other women up. I no longer feel good being around her, but she’s part of my larger circle. Please tell me how to handle this.

  — Hurt and Angry in the Northeast

  Dear Hurt And Angry: In my experience, people who can’t resist the urge to “improve” those around them with “helpful” criticism are insecure and trying to make themselves feel superior. The next time it happens, tell her that when you think you need her opinion, you will ASK for it. Then, to the extent you can, avoid her. KILL THE BITCH!

 

[samhexum]

Dear Abby: My in-laws live out of state, and they would stay with us when they visited. Once my son was born, I told my husband they would need to stay in a hotel because we no longer have the room. They are also the most disrespectful houseguests, and I have terrible insomnia.

My MIL speaks to me only when my husband is around, and my FIL complains about everything — our streaming services, saying I need to buy more towels and complaining that we don’t have soda. I have tried explaining to my husband that they send my anxiety into the next dimension, but because none of this happens when he’s around, he doesn’t understand. I have had to ask my doctor to give me a small supply of medication for my nerves.

Since they have been staying at a hotel, they complain about the cost and the accommodations. I have offered to pay for a rental. Now she’s telling my husband she will buy a sleep sofa for when they visit. I have tried telling my husband all the reasons why this is not a good idea, but it always ends up in an argument.

Am I being unreasonable, and should I just suck it up a few weeks a year, or should they respect the fact that having them as houseguests does not work for our family?

— Defeated in Massachusetts

Dear Defeated DUMMY: Your in-laws appear to be quite a handful. Your solution about them staying in a hotel or rental when they visit is sensible since they are unpleasant to be around when their son is absent. If, however, your husband won’t back you up, consider spending as much time away from the house as you can during those visits. It will give Grandma and Grandpa more time to bond with the little one and save your sanity. Get a hotel for YOURSELF the next time they visit and have a little ‘me-time’. Let Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa bond with the little one and save your sanity. I’ll bet all 3 agree Grandma and Grandpa should stay in a hotel thereafter, with no bitching about the cost.

[samhexum]

Dear Abby: I started having sex with a married co-worker. He cheated on me with other women. When I found out, I told him to tell me he was sorry because I didn’t deserve it. He could have just left me alone. He won’t apologize. What do I do? I’m really upset about it. He’s married, living a single life. — Not the Only One in Georgia

Dear Not the Only One: You knew this co-worker was married, and yet you helped him cheat. Why are you surprised that you are not the only other woman in his life? You are hardly the wronged woman; his wife is. If you want to improve your life, move on and find someone you can have an open and aboveboard relationship with. ARE YOU AN IDIOT AND A SLUT or A SLUT AND AN IDIOT?