Too straight looking to hook up with hot guys?

[+ Lance_Navarro]

http://m.quickmeme.com/img/ee/ee7ad0e087a997c33a4962a81b010ba4950cb0087a8038ec3a4ab852c4ecc894.jpg

[+ quoththeraven]

http://m.quickmeme.com/img/ee/ee7ad0e087a997c33a4962a81b010ba4950cb0087a8038ec3a4ab852c4ecc894.jpg

Or hooking up with them.

[needbodywork]

You might not be as good looking as you think. Or, maybe you are right about looking too "straight" as in too manly. A lot of gays want someone who is pretty, even if masculine. Like the boy next door look.

[jjkrkwood]

I live in Chelsea as well and know it to be a friendly neighborhood. The issue isn't your looks, it's your attitude. I don't know you, and I'm only judging from what I've read, but your writing feels needy - it feels like you're having a hard time accepting yourself for whatever reason, and perhaps are still hanging on to parts of an identity that doesn't fit anymore. Seeking happiness outside of yourself isn't going to help you feel happiness inside yourself. You might be beautiful, but you're not "straight looking" - that's not a thing and is akin to "straight acting," which is just "acting" - and people can smell bullshit without knowing that's what they're smelling.

 

You don't need to tell anyone what you look like unless they're blind. If you're truly seeking out meaningful connection, you need to show people who you are, not keep telling them how straight you look.

 

I can't tell you what you need or what you should do, but I think it's helpful to think about a few things. First, nobody out there is going to fix you or make you whole. Seeking outside yourself for validation might feel good when you get it, but what happens when you don't get it? Second, some people will like how you look and some won't and that's out of your control. Stop using your appearance as an excuse. Third, people will stick around in your life because of who you are and how they feel when they're with you, not because of how you look.

 

I recognize the harshness of my tone but I don't see value in coddling you. I do, however, want you to know that I know you deserve to have meaningful connections and a happy life. You deserve that as much as anyone else. I think you're relatively new to your gay identity and you're struggling with putting it all together. I get that. I have the benefit of being out for nearly 25 years and I know it's taken me a long time to get my shit together. If I haven't completely pissed you off, I encourage you to drop me a private message. I'd be more than happy to have coffee and be a space for you to feel heard and supported.

 

Attitude, Schmatitude. While confidence is an attractive trait for most, physical attraction is often the ticket. It has to catch your eye, and then be compatible with your desires, and often those are the components missing. I usually turn my head for a buff, built guy, but those are not the heads turning for ME, even with my GREAT attitude.... Occassionally, I'll get a bite from a muscle guy that just happens to like older "daddy" types. Its the luck of the draw.... That's why I set out with no expectations. If I catch a guy that is checking me out, and he appeals to ME as well, I make my move.... the OP sounded pretty confident to me, but maybe he's just setting his sights a bit too high ? Not to fault him however cause we like what we like.

[N13]

You might not be as good looking as you think. Or, maybe you are right about looking too "straight" as in too manly. A lot of gays want someone who is pretty, even if masculine. Like the boy next door look.

 

What is the hangup with straight looking? I personally find it a bit insulting. Straight Gay Pretty Ugly Handsome Plain. Get over it!

[Deadlift1]

OP and RBMont-Real are the same. He created this newbie personality and dilemma just to answer the thread and prove how smart he is.

[+ Lance_Navarro]

OP and RBMont-Real are the same. He created this newbie personality and dilemma just to answer the thread and prove how smart he is.

 

That makes sense, especially given his post on my thread just a bit ago.

[kewtex]

OP and RBMont-Real are the same. He created this newbie personality and dilemma just to answer the thread and prove how smart he is.

 

@RBmont-real's reply came across as a bunch of psychobabble. If RBMont-Real and the OP are the same person, he or she is in a world of shit.

[jjkrkwood]

OP and RBMont-Real are the same. He created this newbie personality and dilemma just to answer the thread and prove how smart he is.

 

OH, is THAT what he was trying to do ? I thought he was giving us his bloated GORKA impersonation. ?

[+ FreshFluff]

You might not be as good looking as you think. Or, maybe you are right about looking too "straight" as in too manly. A lot of gays want someone who is pretty, even if masculine. Like the boy next door look.

 

To be fair, he didn't say he was that good looking. He said he has a cute face and works hard for his body.

[marylander1940]

With your looks you should escort. The money can make up for the inferiors! And maybe they may hire a straight jock who meets your criteria for you.

 

http://m.quickmeme.com/img/ee/ee7ad0e087a997c33a4962a81b010ba4950cb0087a8038ec3a4ab852c4ecc894.jpg

 

I thought about posting that too...

[+ FreshFluff]

Is there a walk that declares "tits turn me on"?

 

[needbodywork]

What is the hangup with straight looking? I personally find it a bit insulting. Straight Gay Pretty Ugly Handsome Plain. Get over it!

 

I agree, but that's how most people think, so it is what it is.

[+ Gar1eth]

2017, and gay guys still think in terms of looking straight.

 

How does one look straight? Is there something in the eyes says "I want pussy!"? Is there a walk that declares "tits turn me on"?

 

I think most of us know what he means. He obviously means he doesn't look/act effeminate. If I'm wrong, I hope @nycboi will let us know.

 

Many of us are not attracted to effeminate guys. Some of us are. Maybe it would be better to use the terms effeminate/non-effeminate rather than straight/gay-acting for us men?

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

Is there a walk that declares "tits turn me on"?

 

 

If there is such a walk, I have to say @FreshFluff, that I don't think this is it.

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

With today's "blurred lines" , WHAT really is a str8 look ? Labels have always been silly.

 

Gman

[socurious]

Very interesting responses guys. Thank you so much for your attention. I truly appreciate it.

 

And no, I am not a troll. Neither I'm making all this up. I'm just being honest (it's a bit complicated I guess). But I agree with the ones that say that maybe I'm setting my expectations way too high. I'm also sorry if I sounded a bit arrogant. That wasn't really my intention. But I mean, it's so easy to tell. I have women of different backgrounds hitting on me all the time for example. At the gym I have caught some guys checking me out. On the streets at times gay guys (that are usually so not my type btw) will stare at me, sometimes with clear insinuations (although in ocassions they don't seem that obvious, but I still can tell). I don't know. I guess I can just feel it.

 

My body fat percentage right now is around 16%-17% so it's not like I look that perfect. I have a cute face and broad shoulders. Arms are around 15 inches and back about 18 if that gives an idea. Maybe I just need to get more built to attract more muscle guys? Maybe some tattoos will help? It seems that I'm still big for people's standards judging for what people tell me. But like I said, I feel I don't get that much attention from the type of muscle guy I'm into. Doesn't even help the fact that I've been too obvious in ocassions. I am also into muscle older men btw., but they need to have a cute face. Actually, about half of my hook ups have been guys in their early 40s. I have been very picky though.

As for the hookup sites, well, most of the guys I saw on Grind didn't really call my attention. The ones that did were either scams, or never responded to my messages. But to be fair I only tried that site once, and for like two or three days. I also didn't have enough pictures to share back then. I tend to be very strict when it comes to my looks, so I felt my pics weren't "that good".

 

Anyways, I hope all this helps. I will try to respond each post one by one later. I've been really busy this weekend. Thank you for your time.

 

P.D. Yes guys, I'm not really openly gay. But I'm sure my siblings know I am. My dad too. Mom, well, I don't know about her but I'm sure she suspects. She's not really open-mind though. It's complicated I guess. But that's another story.

 

In reality I've never had a girlfriend before. It's understandable that many in my family will assume that I'm not into women. It's just that I probably don't look that "stereotypical" homosexual to them. You know how ignorant some people are. And btw, I'm aware the title of the thread wasn't the best. I apologize if offended anyone. I'm sure you got point.

Edited September 3, 2017 by nycboi

[Deadlift1]

well op needs to out monte cristo or whatever his name is.

[Deadlift1]

its the same as original post with a few words changed.

[Good Grief]

OP and RBMont-Real are the same. He created this newbie personality and dilemma just to answer the thread and prove how smart he is.

 

@nycboi and or @RBmont-real care to RESPOND???

 

 

Thanks, luv.

[socurious]

I am not that guy. Please check my IP.

[kewtex]

Maybe it would be better to use the terms effeminate/non-effeminate rather than straight/gay-acting for us men?

 

Maybe it would be better if we stopped labeling and categorizing one another. We don't want mainstream society to do it to us. Why do we insist on doing it to ourselves?

[+ purplekow]

Call me jaded....but I can't believe anyone is taking this seriously,

You are jaded. You know what small problems are? Other people's problems.

[+ Gar1eth]

Very interesting responses guys. Thank you so much for your attention. I truly appreciate it.

 

And no, I am not a troll. Neither I'm making all this up. I'm just being honest (it's a bit complicated I guess). But I agree with the ones that say that maybe I'm setting my expectations way too high. I'm also sorry if I sounded a bit arrogant. That wasn't really my intention. But I mean, it's so easy to tell. I have women of different backgrounds hitting on me all the time for example. At the gym I have caught some guys checking me out. On the streets at times gay guys (that are usually so not my type btw) will stare at me, sometimes with clear insinuations (although in ocassions they don't seem that obvious, but I still can tell). I don't know. I guess I can just feel it.

 

My body fat percentage right now is around 16%-17% so it's not like I look that perfect. I have a cute face and broad shoulders. Arms are around 15 inches and back about 18 if that gives an idea. Maybe I just need to get more built to attract more muscle guys? Maybe some tattoos will help? It seems that I'm still big for people's standards judging for what people tell me. But like I said, I feel I don't get that much attention from the type of muscle guy I'm into. Doesn't even help the fact that I've been too obvious in ocassions. I am also into muscle older men btw., but they need to have a cute face. Actually, about half of my hook ups have been guys in their early 40s. I have been very picky though.

As for the hookup sites, well, most of the guys I saw on Grind didn't really call my attention. The ones that did were either scams, or never responded to my messages. But to be fair I only tried that site once, and for like two or three days. I also didn't have enough pictures to share back then. I tend to be very strict when it comes to my looks, so I felt my pics weren't "that good".

 

Anyways, I hope all this helps. I will try to respond each post one by one later. I've been really busy this weekend. Thank you for your time.

 

P.D. Yes guys, I'm not really openly gay. But I'm sure my siblings know I am. My dad too. Mom, well, I don't know about her but I'm sure she suspects. She's not really open-mind though. It's complicated I guess. But that's another story.

 

In reality I've never had a girlfriend before. It's understandable that many in my family will assume that I'm not into women. It's just that I probably don't look that "stereotypical" homosexual to them. You know how ignorant some people are. And btw, I'm aware the title of the thread wasn't the best. I apologize if offended anyone. I'm sure you got point.

 

It's not going to make you feel any better, but being a bald chubby guy who was a fat child, an average non-muscular build teenager and adult into my early 30's thanks to puberty and the metabolism young men possess, and now am a fat bald mid-50's guy, I really envy you.

 

I also envy that while you seem to have some hang-ups, you at least seem to be trying. In my 30's I was determined that if I couldn't be straight I was never going to act on being gay. When I finally decided that I had to have sex, I was 41. I don't know if I could have found a hook-up on my own. I still didn't want to be gay. I chose an escort for my first experience. He had to teach me how to kiss. I am so grateful I picked an escort who turned out to be kind and willing to teach me. But even after that, while I continued hiring escorts, I still didn't want to be gay. In fact I'm better than I used to be, but I still struggle. I'm hoping because you are starting around a decade before me that you'll have more success than I have.

 

So as I said, I know that won't help. But there are a lot of us who probably wish we could say we had your physique and your opportunities.

 

Gman

[+ Gar1eth]

Maybe it would be better if we stopped labeling and categorizing one another. We don't want mainstream society to do it to us. Why do we insist on doing it to ourselves?

 

To categorize and to measure is really the only way to know or find out anything. The problem is the opprobrium that some categories have. But on the other hand to deny our feelings about things isn't good either. I'm not the most most masculine guy. But effeminate guys tend to set me on edge (I'm not fond of drag queens), so do 'butch' women, and so do hyper-masculine straight guys-the guys with extreme chips on their shoulders or the ones whose every other word is an expletive.

 

It's a tough subject. I'm not saying my feelings are the guideline on how people should act in their private lives. I know a large part of this is innate. But I most likely would not want any of the above as a sex partner. Now maybe my comfort zone will change over time. I'm not saying any of the above are bad or wrong. But people have preferences.

 

Gman