The taboo of hiring escorts in the gay world

[LaffingBear]

In the straight world its a badge of honer to hire a hooker. in the gay world nobody talks about this.

Maybe they're just not bragging to you, @Tarte Gogo, but have you kept an eye out for the badges?

I don't even know what the badges look like.

[AdamSmith]

Very sorry, Adam. I played Ed Norton in the school play in the 6th grade, my role was to quiet Ralph down. So your photo was a perfect response.

I love it!

 

Call me Alice.

[+ nycman]

I started hiring in my early 30's.

 

I've told the story before but I was just out of a disasterous

relationship and 50 lbs overweight. So, yes I started hiring

so I could have sex with men whom were "out of my league".

 

2 years later, 50lbs lighter, and with a gym body...I had no

"need" to hire but I had grown accustomed to getting what

I wanted when I wanted it. The idea of chasing some twit

around a bar for hours hoping that he "might" want to get

laid tonight....now seemed completely ridiculous.

 

In truth, I think most escorts were more "comfortable" around

me when I was out of shape. When someone is your "equal"

it can begin to feel like a real hook up or date....and I think

that can be an issue for some escorts mentally.

 

Of course, a great escort is a great escort....for those few I

have no doubt that they could have cared less about my

physical "beauty" or lack there of. Hell, even when you've

got a ripped gym body....you're not everyone's cup of tea.

[LaffingBear]

1) I talk about it with close friends.

2) misplaced to believe this is a gay thing. You really think if a bunch of straight jocks are sitting around with brewskis, they wouldn't rag on a buddy if they learned he hired a hooker? "Dude, you need to PAY for it!?!?"

3) There are many posts on these forums, and other similar boards.....that hiring is often a convenience factor. Or variety. Or travel-related.

4)Age is likely to be related to earning and spending power, as much as attractiveness.

[AdamSmith]

Okay, fair enough.. Do you mind me asking, are you a client or an escort? And in what situations are you coming across guys under 30 that hire?

I am a longtime client, age 57 now. Under-30 guys who hire are just people I randomly meet in the course of casual social interaction out at clubs and bars (gay and straight alike, the distinction is blurring these days, not a bad thing I think) and the like.

 

As mentioned above, I observe vastly more openness about sex of all kinds, both purchased and not, and absence of guilt and shame among under-30 people especially today than was long the case. Societal change here seems to be real, and deep. And deeply positive.

[+ WilliamM]

I am a longtime client, age 57 now. Under-30 guys who hire are just people I randomly meet in the course of casual social interaction out at clubs and bars (gay and straight alike, the distinction is blurring these days, not a bad thing I think) and the like. As mentioned, I observe vastly more openness about sex of all kinds, both purchased and not, and absence of guilt and shame among under-30 people especially than was long the case. Societal change here seems to be real, and deep. And deeply positive.

 

I'll be 74 in a few days, and I seldom drink anymore. So my experiences since 2010 have been with the wide range of students I have met at the University of Pennsylvania. The most interesting students arrive at Penn as juniors after two years at a European university, or serving in the military.

[+ José Soplanucas]

http://ilikepinga.com/2017/07/08/we-are-all-whores/

[+ Charlie]

I hired for the first time when I was 35, from an agency, because it was the most efficient way to get my rocks off. I was very sexually experienced, but I was in a situation in which I just didn't want to put any time and energy into picking someone up. It turned out to be so convenient that I continued to hire occasionally for several years, as a variation of my normal pattern; then as my sexual motivation fell off, it was almost the only thing I did when I was in the mood for sex. Of course, I was 35 a very long time ago, when no one talked about hiring escorts (they usually advertised as models, and other gays called them hustlers or rentboys), because the whole process was much less professionalized than it is now. I think there is much less social stigma about exchanging money for sex now than there used to be.

[BasketBaller]

I lived as a straight man for years, and was a bit of a womanizer who talked with teammates and buddies about women in ways I never would now, bragging about encounters, and honestly, I can't remember anyone bragging about hiring a hooker. We were all young, though maybe none of us could have afforded to!

[BoyBerlin]

@Moondance [uSER=9189]@Adam[/uSER]: I think this post is being taken out of context.

I lived as a straight man for years, and was a bit of a womanizer who talked with teammates and buddies about women in ways I never would now, bragging about encounters, and honestly, I can't remember anyone bragging about hiring a hooker. We were all young, though maybe none of us could have afforded to!

I personally work in Sales which is a pretty straight male dominated profession. Also, I happen to live in Berlin, Germany where prostitution is legal and is a lot cheaper than the states. Tons of guys I work with are always talking about the hookers they sleep with and happy ending massages. This of course is my experience and understand if its not everybody's.

[+ José Soplanucas]

When I was young, back in Argentina, hiring a hooker was a very extended ritual practice as a passage ritual. Boys who became adolescents often would be taken to the brothel by their own fathers to lose their virginity. This is not an urban myth. I have several high school friends who went through this experience. Like in every machist, patriarchal culture, there is a double standard. Depending on the context, many men paying for sex are seen as winners, while the hookers are always losers.

[BoyBerlin]

When I was young, back in Argentina, hiring a hooker was a very extended ritual practice as a passage ritual. Boys who became adolescents often would be taken to the brothel by their own fathers to lose their virginity. This is not an urban myth. I have several high school friends who went through this experience. Like in every machist, patriarchal culture, there is a double standard. Depending on the context, many men paying for sex are seen as winners, while the hookers are always losers.

@latbear4blk: This is my whole point... Not the same attitude in the gay world.. Would you not agree?

[+ José Soplanucas]

I would agree with that statement in general, but I would perhaps disagree on the actual differences and similarities.

The example I am bringing to the table refers to a specific situation that involved under age teen agers. In this specific context, yes there are a very different attitude. I wish my father had hired a male escort for me, but the analogy you are making is so ridiculous that it is not imaginable.

[BoyBerlin]

I would agree with that statement in general, but I would perhaps disagree on the actual differences and similarities.

The example I am bringing to the table refers to a specific situation that involved under age teen agers. In this specific context, yes there are a very different attitude. I wish my father had hired a male escort for me, but the analogy you are making is so ridiculous that it is not imaginable.

Just to be very clear here I am not talking about anybody underage...Boy or girl.. The straight guys I know go to brothels after work and talk about it (not in the office but when we go out to drinks and stuff)... This is what I am referring too..

[+ Tarte Gogo]

Also, I happen to live in Berlin, Germany where prostitution is legal and is a lot cheaper than the states. Tons of guys I work with are always talking about the hookers they sleep with and happy ending massages. This of course is my experience and understand if its not everybody's.

Very interesting, we could infer that legalizing it helped to make it more accepted in normal conversations. I can't wait for the US to wake up to the fact that consent is the only thing that matters.

[Deadlift1]

Boy Berlin. If a man is older, fat, bald, whatever, there is ZERO chance of him having sex with an under 30 muscular young man unless he pays for it. You are correct.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Boy Berlin. If a man is older, fat, bald, whatever, there is ZERO chance of him having sex with an under 30 muscular young man unless he pays for it. You are correct.

 

That is just not true. There is less chance, not zero chance.

[BoyBerlin]

Of course, there is always a one off...But guys lets stick around in planet reality if your pushing 50/60, not fit, smell bad, etc... You just aren't going to get the hot 22 your old you can get when you hire... This is getting really off the point of my whole post but just saying....

[Kevin Slater]

if your pushing 50/60, not fit, smell bad, etc... This is getting really off the point of my whole post but just saying....

 

No, that's pretty consistent with your first post.

 

Kevin Slater

[+ José Soplanucas]

Of course, there is always a one off...But guys lets stick around in planet reality if your pushing 50/60, not fit, smell bad, etc... You just aren't going to get the hot 22 your old you can get when you hire... This is getting really off the point of my whole post but just saying....

 

You are funny.

 

Lets say if you are 50/60, smell like shit, have trouble finding your dick bellow your belly, have pus-sore purulent blisters decorating your dripping nose, loudly and wetly fart every five steps, spit weird colored and spunky smelling saliva when speak, you will probably have to pay for sex or not have any. I agree with you.

[+ FreshFluff]

In the straight world its a badge of honer to hire a hooker. .

 

Few straight men who hire escorts regularly are proud of it, IME. Here's some anecdotal evidence: Ever been on straight sex tourist boards? The guys are always bragging about how interested the girl are and how little they paid as a result. ("Afterwards, I tossed her 50 bucks," they say.)

 

Think about the straight world... They brag about hiring hookers (bachelor parties, business trips, etc..).

 

Strip clubs are a different matter. Visits to those clubs are social events that men use to bond with colleagues and clients.

[ChristianCronin]

You are funny.

 

Lets say if you are 50/60, smell like shit, have trouble finding your dick bellow your belly, have pus-sore purulent blisters decorating your dripping nose, loudly and wetly fart every five steps, spit weird colored and spunky smelling saliva when speak, you will probably have to pay for sex or not have any. I agree with you.

 

That was truly a vivid picture you painted.

[caliguy]

No, that's pretty consistent with your first post.

 

Kevin Slater

I don't see the problem in the OP's post. The straight and gay comparison is right. The gay community does look down on it more and there is a stereotype. He could've used better words like just leaving it at fit younger clients but we all know what the rule is on that. I don't know enough about Europe but the differences sound interesting.

 

Of coarse if you go over to the seeking arrangements post or talk to Mikebidude you might come up with a different conclusion.

[Deadlift1]

That is just not true. There is less chance, not zero chance.

lets limit it to fat and old....still comes up Zero. Unless you age well a gay man 39 plus becomes invisible to the 2o something gay crowd.

[+ José Soplanucas]

lets limit it to fat and old....still comes up Zero. Unless you age well a gay man 39 plus becomes invisible to the 2o something gay crowd.

 

You must be going through a very bad hooking up season. I am sorry for that.

I am 54, bald, and overweighted. Indeed I do not have the success I used to ten years ago when I was younger and 40 pounds lighter (I have always been bald), but I still hook up with young guys in their early 20s on line and in the bars. Of course I am talking about hook ups for free not trade involved at all. I wish I was able to keep my success but it is only myself to blame. I stopped taking care of myself. That is changing right now.