Worst Escort Experience Ever

[Jock123]

It'd be also Interesting to read "Worst Client Experience ever" ..

 

Here's my worst Client experience....Douche.

 

 

https://m4m-forum.org/threads/clients-who-post-bogus-reviews.107971/

[+ haring222]

Oh my god. I was visiting my mum, who is the stereotypical overbearing Jewish lady with a helmet hairstyle....and escaped from her house to go and get a 'massage'. Anyway, the masseur lived in a totally sketch part of town and was missing teeth. I walked in, he let me know he was warming the lotion for me....and gestured to a microwave with duct tape on the door. I was so put off by everything, but literally anything is better than being around a post menopausal jewish woman and I stayed. He pulled a bottle of Jergens lotion out of the microwave and proceeded to rub my shoulders. Half an hour later, I got a perfunctory hand job and went back to mum's house for dinner. Midway into her carving the brisket, she looked at the table and demanded to know who had gotten into her lotion bottle... she could smell it and claimed to keep that kind of lotion for her foot calluses. I died a little on the inside. Brisket was good, though.

[Chidude]

Oh my god. I was visiting my mum, who is the stereotypical overbearing Jewish lady with a helmet hairstyle....and escaped from her house to go and get a 'massage'. Anyway, the masseur lived in a totally sketch part of town and was missing teeth. I walked in, he let me know he was warming the lotion for me....and gestured to a microwave with duct tape on the door. I was so put off by everything, but literally anything is better than being around a post menopausal jewish woman and I stayed. He pulled a bottle of Jergens lotion out of the microwave and proceeded to rub my shoulders. Half an hour later, I got a perfunctory hand job and went back to mum's house for dinner. Midway into her carving the brisket, she looked at the table and demanded to know who had gotten into her lotion bottle... she could smell it and claimed to keep that kind of lotion for her foot calluses. I died a little on the inside. Brisket was good, though.

 

LMAO, @haring222!!!! Seriously I can't stop chuckling. You are hilarious!!

[LoveNDino]

Oh my god. I was visiting my mum, who is the stereotypical overbearing Jewish lady with a helmet hairstyle....and escaped from her house to go and get a 'massage'. Anyway, the masseur lived in a totally sketch part of town and was missing teeth. I walked in, he let me know he was warming the lotion for me....and gestured to a microwave with duct tape on the door. I was so put off by everything, but literally anything is better than being around a post menopausal jewish woman and I stayed. He pulled a bottle of Jergens lotion out of the microwave and proceeded to rub my shoulders. Half an hour later, I got a perfunctory hand job and went back to mum's house for dinner. Midway into her carving the brisket, she looked at the table and demanded to know who had gotten into her lotion bottle... she could smell it and claimed to keep that kind of lotion for her foot calluses. I died a little on the inside. Brisket was good, though.

LMAO, @haring222!!!! Seriously I can't stop chuckling. You are hilarious!!

@Dmitri you've got competition! Thanks @haring222 - your pain is our entertainment

[Lab12]

I think I have posted this already, but mine isn't as bad as the others. I show up at the door and the escort opens the door and he says "oh, you' re black" responding to the puzzled look on my face (thinking in my head, No shit Sherlock!!!) he further states "its just that you sounded so white over the phone with your accent" (reference to my british accent). Frankly for the lack of an understanding of what was going on I just apologised for being black, thanked him for his time, turned around and left.

[Lab12]

I think I have posted this already, but mine isn't as bad as the others. I show up at the door and the escort opens the door and he says "oh, you' re black" responding to the puzzled look on my face (thinking in my head, No shit Sherlock!!!) he further states "its just that you sounded so white over the phone with your accent" (reference to my british accent). Frankly for the lack of an understanding of what was going on I just apologised for being black, thanked him for his time, turned around and left.

In hindsight it is not so bad it is just funny!!!

[BasketBaller]

I've never had a truly bad experience but my odd one I've posted about before. I had an incall with a well-reviewed escort, and wanted to take our time so booked two hours. He performed well, but as soon as we'd both cum, at around an hour, he jumped out of bed and said, "Great, you can just pay me for an hour," and stood by the bed, clearly implying it was time to go. I showered alone, came out and paid him, and he gave me a hug goodbye. He wasn't ever unfriendly but he was definitely ending the session early for some reason. I suppose I could have pushed back and said I'd asked for the whole time, but figured why argue? He wasn't asking for the whole fee.

[+ Gar1eth]

Oh my god. I was visiting my mum, who is the stereotypical overbearing Jewish lady with a helmet hairstyle....and escaped from her house to go and get a 'massage'. Anyway, the masseur lived in a totally sketch part of town and was missing teeth. I walked in, he let me know he was warming the lotion for me....and gestured to a microwave with duct tape on the door. I was so put off by everything, but literally anything is better than being around a post menopausal jewish woman and I stayed. He pulled a bottle of Jergens lotion out of the microwave and proceeded to rub my shoulders. Half an hour later, I got a perfunctory hand job and went back to mum's house for dinner. Midway into her carving the brisket, she looked at the table and demanded to know who had gotten into her lotion bottle... she could smell it and claimed to keep that kind of lotion for her foot calluses. I died a little on the inside. Brisket was good, though.

 

In defense of Jewish mothers everywhere, I want to say my Mom is not like that, and the majority I know aren't like that either. I get the feeling that this stereotype might be more true in Chicago and the East Coast. But not all of us reside there.

 

Gman

[Beancounter]

I think I have posted this already, but mine isn't as bad as the others. I show up at the door and the escort opens the door and he says "oh, you' re black" responding to the puzzled look on my face (thinking in my head, No shit Sherlock!!!) he further states "its just that you sounded so white over the phone with your accent" (reference to my british accent). Frankly for the lack of an understanding of what was going on I just apologised for being black, thanked him for his time, turned around and left.

 

Good for you! Who says that to another human being?

[excelntsvc]

Miami, 1999 ... i had only recently moved there and was living with family while in transition ... found the guy in the old "David" magazine ... chatted with him on phone ... set it up, got a hotel room .. he shows up and says "wow, you're a fat guy, it's going to be double" ... I'd told him by phone i was overweight ... and so i invited him to leave ... no harm no foul, but no pay ... he gets in my face telling me i'm not getting rid of him until i pay the full rate and if i dont he's gonna fuck me up ... i pick up the phone and dial the desk and ask for security and he's out the door in a heartbeat ... then tries to get the valet to charge his car to my room ... only later did i find this site and realize he'd been ripping off guys for years so i count myself lucky ...

[ericwinters]

I

My worst became my best and then my worst again. One of the most bizarre days of my life, involving an escort named Dillon in Vegas.http://www.musclefx.com/gallery/thumbnail/stressino,richard/1057361030.jpg

I remember him. Interesting character.

[LaffingBear]

I remember him. Interesting character.

Wouldnt mind sharing recollections.

[Kyle Clinton]

LMAO, @haring222!!!! Seriously I can't stop chuckling. You are hilarious!!

Can't stop giggling.

[LaffingBear]

In defense of Jewish mothers everywhere, I want to say my Mom is not like that, and the majority I know aren't like that either. I get the feeling that this stereotype might be more true in Chicago and the East Coast. But not all of us reside there.

 

Gman

Youre probably correct about regional variations. The age of the poster, and therefore his mother, is also probably a factor.

 

I hated brisket as a child. My grandmother cooked it til it was dry and gray. But, ohhhh, thanks to this post, I'm now craving my mother's tsimmes with sweet brisket.

[+ purplekow]

I've never had a truly bad experience but my odd one I've posted about before. I had an incall with a well-reviewed escort, and wanted to take our time so booked two hours. He performed well, but as soon as we'd both cum, at around an hour, he jumped out of bed and said, "Great, you can just pay me for an hour," and stood by the bed, clearing implying it was time to go. I showered alone, came out and paid him, and he gave me a hug goodbye. He wasn't ever unfriendly but he was definitely ending the session early for some reason. I suppose I could have pushed back and said I'd asked for the whole time, but figured why argue? He wasn't asking for the whole fee.

I had a similar experience with an escort in DC, Talvin DeMachio who was a hot little firecracker of much escort renown who has since retired. After one hour he jumped out of bed and started to get dressed. I simply said that I had wanted two hours and he dropped his pants and was back in bed. I enjoy watching a man drop his pants, I find it can be very sexy and I got to watch him do it twice, so it turned out to be a good thing.

[+ Gar1eth]

Youre probably correct about regional variations. The age of the poster, and therefore his mother, is also probably a factor.

 

I hated brisket as a child. My grandmother cooked it til it was dry and gray. But, ohhhh, thanks to this post, I'm now craving my mother's tsimmes with sweet brisket.

 

You should have had my mother's brisket. It was usually very good. People always loved it. It was one of my favorite meals. I often used to ask for it for my birthday dinner. Sometimes Mom would season and sear it on the stove 1st-or maybe use the broiler in the oven. The whole house smelled delicious. Then she would cook it for several hours in the oven with an onion gravy. I loved leftover brisket sandwiches-either heated and open faced with gravy or cold -slapped between two pieces of white bread, mayo, and onions.

 

As for tsimmes-my grandmother made one with apricots and raisins that I remember enjoying as a child. I can't quite remember if it had carrots in it too or whether in my memory I'm mistaking some of the apricots for carrots.

 

Gman

[Chidude]

You should have had my mother's brisket. It was usually very good. People always loved it. It was one of my favorite meals. I often used to ask for it for my birthday dinner. Sometimes Mom would season and sear it on the stove 1st-or maybe use the broiler in the oven. The whole house smelled delicious. Then she would cook it for several hours in the oven with an onion gravy. I loved leftover brisket sandwiches-either heated and open faced with gravy or cold -slapped between two pieces of white bread, mayo, and onions.

 

As for tsinmes-my grandmother made one with apricots and raisins that I remember enjoying as a child. I can't quite remember if it had carrots in it too or whether in my memory I'm mistaking some of the apricots for carrots.

 

Gman

 

You have a gift for storytelling @Gar1eth. My mouth is watering

[LaffingBear]

You should have had my mother's brisket. It was usually very good. People always loved it. It was one of my favorite meals. I often used to ask for it for my birthday dinner. Sometimes Mom would season and sear it on the stove 1st-or maybe use the broiler in the oven. The whole house smelled delicious. Then she would cook it for several hours in the oven with an onion gravy. I loved leftover brisket sandwiches-either heated and open faced with gravy or cold -slapped between two pieces of white bread, mayo, and onions.

 

As for tsinmes-my grandmother made one with apricots and raisins that I remember enjoying as a child. I can't quite remember if it had carrots in it too or whether in my memory I'm mistaking some of the apricots for carrots.

 

Gman

If you were local, I'd invite you for my brisket. Like your mother, I sear it first. Then I braise it for hours. When I got maternal advice on making brisket, there was no recipe. "I just use whatever is around... if there's a can of coke in the refigerator, I pour some of that into the braising liquid," she said.

 

I sear mine. Rub with salt & pepper and chopped garlic. Slather it with tomato paste. Pour beef stock, water, and a little Dr. Pepper until about halfway covered. Surround it with big coarse cuts of celery, potatoes, carrots, and onions. Rosemary, parsley. And low and slow braise until tender.

 

Tsimmes is typically orange stuff. Always carrots. I use some combo of carrots, sweet potatoes, apricots, golden raisins, and prunes.

 

Alas, this thread has wandered extraordinarily far from the original topic, even by forum standards.

 

http://nourishedkitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/5338133d1ec1c38743fb17f12283f24b.jpg

[+ azdr0710]

c'mon guys and gals!......from "worst escort experience" to brisket recipes in 43 posts??......so so saddened to see this......we usually can do that in less than 30 posts.....we're slippin' I tell ya

[+ Gar1eth]

 

Alas, this thread has wandered extraordinarily far from the original topic, even by forum standards.

 

http://nourishedkitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/5338133d1ec1c38743fb17f12283f24b.jpg

 

I'm blaming it all on @haring222 and his Jergen's lotion-brisket story.

 

c'mon guys and gals!......from "worst escort experience" to brisket recipes in 43 posts??......so so saddened to see this......we usually can do that in less than 30 posts.....we're slippin' I tell ya

 

Don't worry about us slipping. I'm working on it. I even have the perfect segue (pronounced of course 'segway'). Just keep reading @azdr0710.

 

You have a gift for storytelling @Gar1eth. My mouth is watering

 

Well I think, @Chidude, it just goes to show that

 

(Hint: segue begins here)

even though you might have a lousy escort experience, there's always a good meal to fall back on in the end

 

( Hint:segue just ended).

 

And unless I'm mistaken, you are fairly new to the Forum, so you might have missed these. They are links to some great past Forum threads on cooking (started by yours truly I must blushingly admit. ). There were an additional two cooking threads on crockpots and pot roast which I didn't include in this list as I don't think they were quite as good as these. I think you'll find many on here who'll agree that these really were quite good threads. They all had many, many posts to them.

 

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/scrambled-eggs.111965/

 

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/chili-with-ground-turkey-versus-ground-beef.112255/

 

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/thank-you-my-sunday-dinner-was-pretty-good.115499/

 

 

 

https://www.companyofmen.org/threads/apricot-chicken-revisited.115554/

 

 

With apologies to @LoveNDino for my contributions leading away from the topic at hand.

 

Gman

[Chidude]

Thank you @Gar1eth for the culinary orientation!!

[Kenny]

c'mon guys and gals!......from "worst escort experience" to brisket recipes in 43 posts??......so so saddened to see this......we usually can do that in less than 30 posts.....we're slippin' I tell ya

A most excellent, well-seasoned post. And unlike bad brisket, not dry.

[MikeBiDude]

My brisket is a "full packer" 12-18# and goes onto my smoker at 230° for about 12 hours. No mothers involved.

You should have had my mother's brisket. It was usually very good. People always loved it. It was one of my favorite meals. I often used to ask for it for my birthday dinner. Sometimes Mom would season and sear it on the stove 1st-or maybe use the broiler in the oven. The whole house smelled delicious. Then she would cook it for several hours in the oven with an onion gravy. I loved leftover brisket sandwiches-either heated and open faced with gravy or cold -slapped between two pieces of white bread, mayo, and onions.

 

As for tsinmes-my grandmother made one with apricots and raisins that I remember enjoying as a child. I can't quite remember if it had carrots in it too or whether in my memory I'm mistaking some of the apricots for carrots.

 

Gman

[Becket]

Worst experience ever? Just some dude in Dallas who was a con man, and I, so inexperienced and eager; an easy lamb to fleece. I will have to credit the old Rentboy site staff. He was out of business not too long after I reported my experience to them. At least other guys didn't get screwed.....or didn't not get screwed....as it were. RB didn't ignore me. That at least is a good memory.

 

Can't help but wonder if I've been anyone's worst client ever........There is this one still active escort in ATL with whom I wasn't very courteous. Sorry, I just don't play horsey. Bad back......o well.......

[+ oldNbusted]

You should have had my mother's brisket. It was usually very good. People always loved it. It was one of my favorite meals. I often used to ask for it for my birthday dinner. Sometimes Mom would season and sear it on the stove 1st-or maybe use the broiler in the oven. The whole house smelled delicious. Then she would cook it for several hours in the oven with an onion gravy. I loved leftover brisket sandwiches-either heated and open faced with gravy or cold -slapped between two pieces of white bread, mayo, and onions.

 

Since I've not had the pleasure of your Mom's brisket, I can say the most amazing brisket I ever had was cooked sous-vide with just salt and pepper. It was sooooo amazing, I ate a good chunk of it standing right over the cutting board, cutting off thin slices, eating them on the spot. So juicy and tender. I really want to get into sous-vide on my own.