Isn't it a bit awkward?

[N13]

I have often wondered about the dynamics of taking part in group, public meetings with others on the Forum. It seems to me to be an awkward situation; being 'out' as someone who hires. A gathering of providers and buyers just seems to me to be a perfect platform to make one feel uncomfortable. Do I really want to be in a group where everyone knows that I have to buy sex?

 

In gatherings of clients and escorts does it become a contest to see who can get the most attention from one of the preferred escorts? It may be a perfect setup for depression and feelings of inferiority. A bit demeaning IMHO.

 

There are posters that I think I would enjoy meeting, but am not sure that a public gathering is the place to do it. Thoughts?

[+ nycman]

It was awkward the first time you came out to someone.

 

It was awkward the first time you stepped inside a gay bar.

 

It was awkward the first time you had sex with someone.

 

You get the idea...first times are awkward....but often ultimately rewarding.

 

My advice?...go and have fun.

 

You never know...until you try.

[N13]

nycman - have you been to any of these?

[gallahadesquire]

My first time in a gay bar was during my Interview at Tufts U. The roommate of the guy who put up his bed for an interviewee's German tutor from his Prep school came in and we went out, into a '67 Cadillac Convertible with the top down. (This was the weekend before Thanksgiving). Over to Haymarket for flowers; and wound up at Sports, where I had a brandy stinger. Got in after midnight for an 8:00 am interview.I was 17.

 

I got wait listed.

 

No wonder parents these days go on college visits with their kids.

[+ GregM]

I feel awkward in just about any kind of group setting where I dont know people there. I usually sit there quietly, looking pretty and taking in the convos for a while. But I still try to go just to push myself out of my comfort zone. The last Chicago one there were I think 5 posters and one other hooker. It was a small group but for me it was perfect size. Afterwards one of the regular posters and I had a lively political discussion. We disagreed on a lot of stuff but I still think hes pretty awesome. I say go, even if it's out of your comfort zone. You'll get to size up the working guys and see how they act in social settings. And compare notes with other clients. And most of all I promise you'll have fun.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[Chuckball]

I for one would love to spend an evening with a group of guys who regularly post on this forum. I was very timid in dealing with escorts and certainly did not want to be known as someone who pays for sex. However, having been active in this forum has reduced my insecurities greatly. I can now ask those questions I would have been afraid to ask only a few months ago. I like to see the perspective of fellow clients. Now that I have met so many guys here if only on the screen of my smartphone I would like to meet them face to face. I think the familiarity I have with escorts and clients alike would make a meeting anything but awkward.

[mike carey]

I have often wondered about the dynamics of taking part in group, public meetings with others on the Forum. It seems to me to be an awkward situation; being 'out' as someone who hires. A gathering of providers and buyers just seems to me to be a perfect platform to make one feel uncomfortable. Do I really want to be in a group where everyone knows that I have to buy sex?

 

In gatherings of clients and escorts does it become a contest to see who can get the most attention from one of the preferred escorts? It may be a perfect setup for depression and feelings of inferiority. A bit demeaning IMHO.

 

There are posters that I think I would enjoy meeting, but am not sure that a public gathering is the place to do it. Thoughts?

My experience at two separate, and differently formatted events is the exact opposite of the fears you have expressed. Even if you are out as someone who hires, it's to a group of others who are also out, or who are providers, and no-one thinks anything of it. And by attending you do not demonstrate that you have to buy sex.

 

These are social events, not talent parades. Everyone chats with everyone else. Sure some clients bring an escort to accompany them (and both of them will socialise with others present), but meeting up between others is mostly discreet. No-one requires or expects you to arrange an appointment with one of the escorts at the gathering, but there is no shame in doing so (or indeed of having arranged beforehand to have a meeting with an escort whom you know will be there).

 

I would say bite the bullet and go next year. Yes it's a public gathering, but it's a gathering in a sort of bubble: everyone inside it knows what it all means but to anyone outside the group it just looks like a group of men. In any case, one of the functions was at a private residence, so for that there was no public visibility. (Oh and in Palm Springs, most of those attending stayed at gay resorts, so wider public visibility is minimal.)

[MartyB]

I have often wondered about the dynamics of taking part in group, public meetings with others on the Forum. It seems to me to be an awkward situation; being 'out' as someone who hires. A gathering of providers and buyers just seems to me to be a perfect platform to make one feel uncomfortable. Do I really want to be in a group where everyone knows that I have to buy sex?

 

In gatherings of clients and escorts does it become a contest to see who can get the most attention from one of the preferred escorts? It may be a perfect setup for depression and feelings of inferiority. A bit demeaning IMHO.

 

There are posters that I think I would enjoy meeting, but am not sure that a public gathering is the place to do it. Thoughts?

I've never thought about meeting all you guys in a public forum. On one hand I like my anonymity but on the other it would be a blast. Plus the mix of some of the escorts would be kind great as well. Not sure how this would work but I'd do it but my only demand it be held in NYC and hopefully I have some fun...lol

[+ GregM]

I've never thought about meeting all you guys in a public forum. On one hand I like my anonymity but on the other it would be a blast. Plus the mix of some of the escorts would be kind great as well. Not sure how this would work but I'd do it but my only demand it be held in NYC and hopefully I have some fun...lol

 

Pick a date and I am sure you will have quite a few attending.

 

Hugs,

Greg

[+ Funguy]

More to what Wayne (Socalguy) says: I also don't think of us as having to buy sex; this just happens to be a group of people who does buy sex. When I want to have sex, I don't like to go out to the bars, I don't like to pull out the phone and "cruise the apps", and, most important, I know what I want and how I want it. The gentlemen who I hire provide exactly what I want. Everything. I am so much more satisfied at the end of a 2 hour meet than I would be if I picked up a someone at a bar and spent the night. These guys are human beings just as we are. We have an itch, they scratch it (and sometimes we scratch theirs, too.)

 

You have been here long enough and participated in all of our posts and a long-time participant in the activities of which you are so down.

Now, I have not been to the gatherings, mostly because I just have not managed my time in order to go. My arms have been twisted by clients and escorts alike (and I actually now have torn rotator cuffs on both sides). I would love to meet all these other guys who feel the same as I do. As some of us do, I have my own insecurities, my own shyness, my own reluctances but that's about ME, not the groups of guys who are there having fun.

Somehow I think you have a very skewed idea of what this gathering is all about. There are no contests (well, not the kind you referred to about who gets the most attention). I would think it would be exactly the opposite of demeaning, inferiority or depression-provoking. We clients are not sad losers and, actually, the escorts are human, too - we all have our foibles. But, I have been told, everybody has gallons of fun!

 

Maybe I just talked myself into next year!

[+ Socalguy]

Sorry funguy, I deleted my post because it seemed a bit 'mean'; however, your post is perfect even without mine! and I really hope to see you next year!

[+ WmClarke]

I have often wondered about the dynamics of taking part in group, public meetings with others on the Forum. It seems to me to be an awkward situation; being 'out' as someone who hires. A gathering of providers and buyers just seems to me to be a perfect platform to make one feel uncomfortable. Do I really want to be in a group where everyone knows that I have to buy sex?

 

In gatherings of clients and escorts does it become a contest to see who can get the most attention from one of the preferred escorts? It may be a perfect setup for depression and feelings of inferiority. A bit demeaning IMHO.

 

There are posters that I think I would enjoy meeting, but am not sure that a public gathering is the place to do it. Thoughts?

It's only as awkward as you make it.

[+ Funguy]

Sorry funguy, I deleted my post because it seemed a bit 'mean'; however, your post is perfect even without mine! and I really hope to see you next year!

 

See - he's already twisting my arm!

[down_to_business]

Yes, very unlikely to do it, just not my thing.

 

I am glad the opportunity exists for those that want to partake in such gatherings.

[+ ArVaGuy]

I'm going to chime in and agree with both @mike carey and [uSER=9945]@funguy[/uSER] in what they have expressed about these gatherings. This year was the first time I attended the Palm Springs weekend event. My only regret is that I should have gone sooner and certainly plan to attend next year if circumstances allow. I have attended all of the DC events until this year when a certain nitwit host made a mess of the planning resulting cancelling the event.

 

As noted the two events have entirely different formats but the same purpose of bringing together a group of individuals with a shared interest. Palm Springs is a weekend series of events unto itself. DC is structured as an ancillary event piggy backing off Mid Atlantic Leather Weekend. There's overlapping attendance at each event by both clients and providers. Each event is unique and both have done well in bringing together a microcosm of this larger Forum community in safe, nonjudgmental, laid back, and fun manner.

 

We all have different comfort levels and socializing with strangers from an anonymous message board can feel daunting. Rest assured there is nothing to worry about. Everyone is friendly and very welcoming. There is no pressure to engage in anything that one might not feel comfortable.

 

The pool party is a fantastic networking event for both clients and providers. I was able to reacquaint with friends from past DC gatherings and meet new people who are fun and very interesting. Not a single aspect of this party is blatantly transactional. Yes, the escorts are there to meet potential clients and clients are there to consider potential hires. Do people get naked? And a bit frisky? Well it's a private party gathering a bunch of gay men around a swimming pool so use your imagination.

 

There are now four escorts on my radar who I hope to hire within the year. Admittedly, there are also a couple guys who are not as compatible with my preferences and thus are now off my list. Therefore, in my mind this event achieved its purpose in a subtle and discreet manner. Can't wait to attend next year.

[+ purplekow]

N13 while this kind of event is not for everyone, I think that most people who attend leave the event with a positive attitude about it. I had never stayed at a clothing optional resort prior to this year and I had some trepidation about it. As it turns out, it was an experience I enjoyed. It was an experience I would repeat. It was not an experience that made me feel less than.

 

I choose to hire. I do not have to hire. ( I hear you guys in the background saying "you don't have to hire as long as you want to be celibate.") I do not advertise to the people in my life that I hire, but then again, no one in my life asks. So if I want to ask an opinion, If I want to trade a funny story, If I want to see hot men in little or nothing without feeling self conscious about staring, this is where I go.

 

If you need those things, come to the party, take a deep breath and dive in the pool. More than likely you will swim with ease, but if you do not, there will be plenty of guys around to make sure the water is not too deep.

Another option is to make plans to come to Palm Springs that weekend and then set up some other activities which appeal to you and which can be used as a fall back should you really feel that it is not for you. Palm Springs is a great place to vacation.

I wish you well in whichever decision you make. There are only 360 days left until next year's party, think about it.

[NuSingle]

We don't "have to buy sex". Or speaking for myself, I don't. Although I haven't pulled the trigger on my first hire, I feel this is now the route for me after suffering a devastating breakup and a broken heart. Ive never experienced pain like this.

I can't bear the thought of dating apps and websites and the "single" world after what I've been through. I have social anxiety issues to boot, so this has become a very reasonable option for me.

I'd love to meet so many of the people who post here as I've learned so much as well as being forced to take a closer look at myself on issues brought forward here.

Hiring was a completely foreign concept to me until a few months ago, but is a great option for me at this point in my life. I only wish I didn't have to be so concerned about a budget to do it. ...and more courage.

As always, I appreciate the thought provoking topics here, including this one.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I have often wondered about the dynamics of taking part in group, public meetings with others on the Forum. It seems to me to be an awkward situation; being 'out' as someone who hires. A gathering of providers and buyers just seems to me to be a perfect platform to make one feel uncomfortable. Do I really want to be in a group where everyone knows that I have to buy sex?

 

In gatherings of clients and escorts does it become a contest to see who can get the most attention from one of the preferred escorts? It may be a perfect setup for depression and feelings of inferiority. A bit demeaning IMHO.

 

There are posters that I think I would enjoy meeting, but am not sure that a public gathering is the place to do it. Thoughts?

 

My fears and concerns about socializing, about my shyness, have been part of my sharing in this forum several times. I can relate to that, but not to an uneasiness related to the nature of this specific community.

What you may want to take a look at is what several friends pointed out to above: your mention of "I have to buy sex". It seems to be a clue to pay more attention to your self esteem and your attitude towards our hobby. As was pointed out to, there is a meaningful difference between doing something because we choose to and doing it because we do not have a choice.

[+ HornyRetiree]

group where everyone knows that I have to buy sex?

.

 

As I get ready for my first escort experience later this week -- I don;t look at it as that I have to buy sex! I can and do find sex locally. I look at it as an opportunity to spend time with a man who is - in my eyes - PERFECTION of the Male form - outside and inside (hopefully) - Communication has shown the inside is good too and meeting will verify.

 

It is an opportunity to periodically (finances limit this treat) have the frosting on the cake! To have some dedicated time to self by another male that one perceives as the ultimate.

[+ HornyRetiree]

. And by attending you do not demonstrate that you have to buy sex.

 

Exactly!

[+ José Soplanucas]

As I get ready for my first escort experience later this week -- I don;t look at it as that I have to buy sex! I can and do find sex locally. I look at it as an opportunity to spend time with a man who is - in my eyes - PERFECTION of the Male form - outside and inside (hopefully) - Communication has shown the inside is good too and meeting will verify.

 

It is an opportunity to periodically (finances limit this treat) have the frosting on the cake! To have some dedicated time to self by another male that one perceives as the ultimate.

 

Are you aware you are not quoting me but the OP?

[+ HornyRetiree]

Are you aware you are not quoting me but the OP?

 

Oops - my apologies - New to forum and the back and forth got confusing - will try and fix later don't have time right now and don't think we can delete

 

This may have to stnd as the correction!

[+ José Soplanucas]

Oops - my apologies - New to forum and the back and forth got confusing - will try and fix later don't have time right now and don't think we can delete

 

This may have to stnd as the correction!

 

Do not worry, sir, you don't have to edit anything. I just wanted to make sure you knew who wrote what.

[N13]

I need to clarify one point. My 'have to buy sex' only refers to having sexual encounters with the guys that fulfill my fantasies of male perfection. In addition, I know there will be no fumbling and that my preferences will be manifested.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I need to clarify one point. My 'have to buy sex' only refers to having sexual encounters with the guys that fulfill my fantasies of male perfection. In addition, I know there will be no fumbling and that my preferences will be manifested.

 

In that case, where do you think the awkwardness that concerns you is coming from?