"Performance Issues" and Escorts

[NYCgymfit]

hey guys... had an interesting situation come up and thought i'd get some of your thoughts on the matter.

 

i recently hired an escort I have used before - and really liked. He's on the pricey side - but - he was worth it. We met twice. I was very specific about what I was looking for (I was looking for a top and more of a boyfriend experience). I'm 40, gym fit myself - healthy - don't do drugs, not ugly (inside or out) blah blah blah.

 

so i hired this guy again the other night. he's been with me before so he knows what i am looking for... and it's all good - until I notice that he is really having a hard time keeping his erection (never an issue before). The kissing is great - the foreplay - all good - but - he's not getting hard enough to have sex.

 

i can see that he's frustrated - and finally he said he's in between cycles of steroids - and about a week ago he completely lost his libido and his erections have been unreliable because his testosterone was so low.

 

We messed around. I wound up topping him - which wasn't really what I signed up for - but it was - okay.

 

I paid him. He apologized and said he was so glad it was me and not a customer he didn't know.

 

After he left - I was thinking about it and thought it would have been good business if he had at least offered to take less money? Or am I being a dick?

 

And - if an Escort knows they are having "performance issues" - or suspects they might - what is their obligation to their clients (and to themselves) about disclosing it? Should they stop looking for work while you're between cycles and testosterone levels are cratering?

 

He's a very nice guy - and I get we're all human - but - it's a lot of money to pay for an experience that wasn't what I was hoping for.

 

Thoughts? And thoughts about how to handle it in general if Escorts are having erection issues and you hired them to top? (And again, I go into these situations with an appreciation for everyone's humanity).

[+ José Soplanucas]

Well, they are human after all. I guess we have to remember we are paying for their time. The activities during that time can go from extraordinary good down to extraordinary bad, depending on a million circumstances. I would not ask for a discount if I know the guy is doing his best.

Specially in this situation. He is your regular, you are happy with your first meetings, the way you tell the story shows that he was trying to please you and got frustrated, which means that pleasing you was important for him.

 

 

hey guys... had an interesting situation come up and thought i'd get some of your thoughts on the matter.

 

i recently hired an escort I have used before - and really liked. He's on the pricey side - but - he was worth it. We met twice. I was very specific about what I was looking for (I was looking for a top and more of a boyfriend experience). I'm 40, gym fit myself - healthy - don't do drugs, not ugly (inside or out) blah blah blah.

 

so i hired this guy again the other night. he's been with me before so he knows what i am looking for... and it's all good - until I notice that he is really having a hard time keeping his erection (never an issue before). The kissing is great - the foreplay - all good - but - he's not getting hard enough to have sex.

 

i can see that he's frustrated - and finally he said he's in between cycles of steroids - and about a week ago he completely lost his libido and his erections have been unreliable because his testosterone was so low.

 

We messed around. I wound up topping him - which wasn't really what I signed up for - but it was - okay.

 

I paid him. He apologized and said he was so glad it was me and not a customer he didn't know.

 

After he left - I was thinking about it and thought it would have been good business if he had at least offered to take less money? Or am I being a dick?

 

And - if an Escort knows they are having "performance issues" - or suspects they might - what is their obligation to their clients (and to themselves) about disclosing it? Should they stop looking for work while you're between cycles and testosterone levels are cratering?

 

He's a very nice guy - and I get we're all human - but - it's a lot of money to pay for an experience that wasn't what I was hoping for.

 

Thoughts? And thoughts about how to handle it in general if Escorts are having erection issues and you hired them to top? (And again, I go into these situations with an appreciation for everyone's humanity).

[BabyBoomer]

He should offer you the next session free, when he's off the juice & able to perform.

 

~Boomer ~

[+ José Soplanucas]

He should offer you the next session free, when he's off the juice & able to perform.

 

~Boomer ~

 

I am not sure whether you are making a joke, as I do not fully understand what you mean by "off the juice". If you are serious, I disagree. He did his best, he just was not able to top so he bottomed. @NYCgymfit should not expect a free session.

That said, I am pretty sure the next session is going to be spectacular. Almost like make up sex. Be ready to get fucked hard and long, my friend.

[Mydavid]

I had this kind of experiences too. As long as the escort did his best, I wouldn't complain.

[Guest MikeThomas]

From a customer relations perspective he should have offered a discount. You probably would have declined. He probably thinks getting fucked was adequate compensation. Since you like the guy and seem to get on well with him, I would move on and forget about it. When you make your next appointment you now know you have to be clear about your expectations and what you expect if he can't deliver.

[BabyBoomer]

I do not fully understand what you mean by "off the juice"

 

Cycles of steroids.

 

~Boomer ~

[+ Topseed]

The escort should have disclosed this ahead of the meeting, imho. If he's on the juice, he must know the side affects....or should know.

[NYCgymfit]

Thanks guys... for the feedback. It just - affirmed for me the interesting nature of the escort/client relationship. It's a commercial exchange - but also a human exchange... how do you weigh the value? If it were a product I ordered - or another type of customer service - and I had been clear about what I wanted (which I was) and then didn't receive it, I would have probably handled it a different way. I was not getting what I paid for. But - because of the - humanity involved - and the vulnerability - I made a different choice.

 

And I don't regret it really. Because it is true to who I am.

 

Just wanted other guys thoughts on how they handle "performance issues' - from the escort and client side. (Especially I guess escorts who use steroids and know that this can be a problem).

[search0925]

I had a similar situation a couple of months ago. The escort (a regular) was coming off of an operation 3 or 4 weeks prior. Low testosterone level. We gave each other a body rub. He apologized and insisted that the fee for his time was free. I gave him a tip to help toward his parking. He is a very nice top man and we only do oral (for him) with him releasing.

[+ Keith30309]

• he's been with me before so he knows what i am looking for...
   
  
• about a week ago he completely lost his libido and his erections have been unreliable because his testosterone was so low.
  
• He apologized and said he was so glad it was me and not a customer he didn't know.
  

 

And - if an Escort knows they are having "performance issues" - or suspects they might - what is their obligation to their clients (and to themselves) about disclosing it? Should they stop looking for work while you're between cycles and testosterone levels are cratering?

Yes.

 

• I went to see my longtime dentist today for two crowns... about $2500 of work in addition to 4 he had already done.
   
  
• His hands were shaking and he was unable to prep and seat them.
   
  
• He said he'd gotten really hammered the night before because it was his regular Tuesday poker night.
  
• He asked me to come back the next day - he would only charge me for a second office visit beyond the $2500 because I was a repeat patient.
  

 

He should have not seen any clients if he was unable to do his job.

If you want to be respected like a professional you have to act like one - be it a dentist or sex worker.

[NYCgymfit]

Yes.

 

• I went to see my longtime dentist today for two crowns... about $2500 of work in addition to 4 he had already done.
   
  
• His hands were shaking and he was unable to prep and seat them.
   
  
• He said he'd gotten really hammered the night before because it was his regular Tuesday poker night.
  
• He asked me to come back the next day - he would only charge me for a second office visit beyond the $2500 because I was a repeat patient.
  

 

He should have not seen any clients if he was unable to do his job.

If you want to be respected like a professional you have to act like one - be it a dentist or sex worker.

That was hilarious... thank you Keith.

[coriolis888]

error

[NuSingle]

He should have disclosed prior to the appointment.

[talktomeprodigy]

Just as you can excuse it as a one-time fluke, he should have at least offered to charge you just half his normal rate. If he knows he's in the midst of a steroid cycle, he shouldn't take appointments if he's not confident he can perform, or use viagra to ensure that he can perform (unless that's not compatible with steroid use). It's too much money to be forking over to an escort to come away disappointed.

[caliguy]

Has he ever heard of Levitra or Viagra? If you know you're in between cycles then you'd prepare.

[+ Funguy]

Has he ever heard of Levitra or Viagra? If you know you're in between cycles then you'd prepare.

 

Not quite sure that would do the trick if it's truly from the cycling!

[NYCgymfit]

Not quite sure that would do the trick if it's truly from the cycling!

He actually said that when he's cycling "ED" meds don't work - but he also said it's never been this bad before.... I don't know anything about steroid use - but it sounds like cycling could be a hazard to your bottom line if you're an escort.

[+ José Soplanucas]

I did not know at all about these cycles and steroids, I am absolutely ignorant of the gym culture. My sexy curves speak loudly of it. I understand now @BabyBoomer's and others' point. However I would take advantage of the situation to maximize my pleasure rather than saving a few bucks. This is what I would do. I have used this strategy many times and it always worked great. I have shared this before in other threads, so I apologize for repeating myself.

I would make a big deal about it and I would share how frustrated and unsatisfied I feel. I would not call him as soon as I used to. I would try to restrain my impulse to text him as long as I can, the ideal would be to wait for him to text. In my first conversation after the "break" I would address the issue and I would nicely ask to make sure that the next time he takes precautions. I would tell him that I still need a little more time to work out my frustration. A few days, probably a week after that conversation, I would text him and make an appointment. If everything works as it has worked for me overtime, you will have an unforgettable experience.

You may prefer calling instead of texting. I am into the early 20s guys, so we do not talk on the phone.

[KennF]

I guess I see it differently.

 

The client shouldn't expect a discount or a free-session, but good customer service etiquette says that he should have offered.

 

Bottoming instead of topping is not the type of compensation this client was looking for. It was nice, and it was a way to ease the tension of the moment.

 

The client had an expectation, and based on prior interactions, the escort knew of the expectation. The transaction was for time, and that was provided.

 

It's like a service screw-up at a restaurant, they offer you a free dessert, but what you really wanted was good service at the time. From the escort's perspective, the offer was to make sure they had a next time. Two way loyalty.

[+ g56whiz]

Years ago I had a late evening appointment with a frequent and prominent visitor to NYC. I was clearly his last client and try as he might he was spent. Instead he fingered my butt while preforming oral on me expertly. The explosion he caused was not what I expected but well worth the fee paid.

[peter831]

I hate to be cynical, but my guess is he booked another appointment prior to yours and didn't have anything left for you. The 'roids were an excuse. You have to decide if the experience you had was an adequate use of your time and money and be prepared this may happen again. If that's not okay, then probably time to move on to the next gym rat.

[adventurous old guy]

Two experiences to offer on this thread;

 

1. First was a guy with whom I had a tentative appointment, have been trying to book him for years in DC, where he and I both travel regularly. He had the integrity/guts/class to text me and say that he was so worked over by his earlier appointment with a regular (you know who you are) that he couldn't bottom for me, which was the plan. He offered worship and other stuff at a reduced price. Not my scene so I passed, but respect him more and am probably even more eager to meet him now.

 

2. Very friendly hot guy who advertised BFE, with whom I chatted and who eagerly offered to bottom, shows up and informs me that he "doesn't kiss on a first date" and that I can't touch his hair because he's just gotten hair plugs. OK then ... technically not a lie, because he WAS eager to bottom -- but quite manipulative. He was very cute and we did proceed, but I'm the one who had performance issues here because I couldn't stop thinking about ruining his hair! Flashed to the scene in Primary Colors where the allegedly Hilary Clinton character, who's furious at the allegedly Bill Clinton character for his escapades, revenge screws the campaign manager who's so completely flustered by her seduction that all he can think about is messing up her hair.

 

Still hoping for a first date with #1, and there won't be a second with #2 though he did deliver a memorable experience.

[big-n-tall]

Two experiences to offer on this thread;

 

1. First was a guy with whom I had a tentative appointment, have been trying to book him for years in DC, where he and I both travel regularly. He had the integrity/guts/class to text me and say that he was so worked over by his earlier appointment with a regular (you know who you are) that he couldn't bottom for me, which was the plan. He offered worship and other stuff at a reduced price. Not my scene so I passed, but respect him more and am probably even more eager to meet him now.

 

Who was that rat bastard!!!? I'll kick him in the knee... oh! Wait... never mind. Lol!

[adventurous old guy]

Who was that rat bastard!!!? I'll kick him in the knee... oh! Wait... never mind. Lol!

Knew I'd flush you out!