Escort Charges

[bigvalboy]

I'm a little befuddled. Which comment?

 

I know the thread got a little off track, which is fine, because I found the posts all very interesting, but I was referring to the OP's original comment "You guys are crazy to pay these amounts"

 

 

 

kjun Viscount

Rates have gone wacko. Some of these guys asking for $300 and more are only worth 200 or even less. You guys are crazy to pay these amounts

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Or statements like As if there's some empirical amount that a session with any given escort is worth. Again, if you can't pay it or if he's not to your taste, move on. It's one thing to say "he's not my cup of tea" but to say that "he's barely worth 200" is crude and presumptuous.

 

Kevin Slater

 

As usual Kevin, you're a voice of reason

 

These kinds of statements are made by guys who look at escorts as objects, not as human beings

[+ OliverSaks]

Thank you! Sorry. I thought you'd mentioned it, but then I couldn't find it.

 

Nine years is a long time. Although I've been through couples counseling (CBT with a woman and when my husband never listened to her, therapy with a man; both were psychologists, not psychiatrists) and a handful (maybe ten?) sessions on my own with a psychiatrist who was more of a therapist than an analyst, all the progress I made was on my own, supplemented by reading. None of the therapy was helpful.

I don't think you can really know that the therapy was totally useless. Therapy benefit isn't something that can be quantified so easily - it is a weird and sometimes downright mystical process.

 

You might disagree, but it sounds to me like you could be splitting here.

[AdamSmith]

Thank you! Sorry. I thought you'd mentioned it, but then I couldn't find it.

 

Nine years is a long time. Although I've been through couples counseling (CBT with a woman and when my husband never listened to her, therapy with a man; both were psychologists, not psychiatrists) and a handful (maybe ten?) sessions on my own with a psychiatrist who was more of a therapist than an analyst, all the progress I made was on my own, supplemented by reading. None of the therapy was helpful.

For me the key to success was the push and pull and deep human connection of the transference relationship. That was the advantage of analysis over other modalities.

 

Some CBT much later helped with some more superficial issues. But it could not have touched the issues I went into analysis to explore and resolve: finding a path to more accurate self-perception, getting free from self-loathing taught by a parent who had the same pathology, discovering how to get unstuck from some long-persisting avoidances of major life engagements, learning in the transference how to trust and connect with and open myself to another person, learning how to make change in who I was in service of becoming who I wanted to be.

[+ quoththeraven]

I don't think you can really know that the therapy was totally useless. Therapy benefit isn't something that can be quantified so easily - it is a weird and sometimes downright mystical process.

 

You might disagree, but it sounds to me like you could be splitting here.

I get you, I really do, but no, I am sure all the progress I made was on my own.

 

My daughter is on her 3rd or 4th therapist in 5-6 years, not all consecutive, and she's the first one to have been of any help. A lot has to do with personality fit as well (this may be even more true for women). Before that, a grief counselor from the funeral home in charge of her great-grandparents' funerals was more help.

 

I've been exposed to psychology and psychiatry since I was a child. My mom was diagnosed with depression when I was 4, successfully treated with ECT, then with schizodepressive disorder when I was 13. I've read a lot about it. I also went through a horrendous hospitalization of my own when I was almost 18 because of the psychological fallout from my mother's death 2-1/2 years before. That was back before grief counseling was a thing.

 

For me the key to success was the push and pull and deep human connection of the transference relationship. That was the advantage of analysis over other modalities.

 

Some CBT much later helped with some more superficial issues. But it could not have touched the issues I went into analysis to explore and resolve: finding a path to more accurate self-perception, gettting free from self-loathing taught by a parent who had the same pathology, discovering how to get unstuck from some long-persisting avoidances of major life engagements, learning in the transference how to trust and connect with and open myself to another person, learning how to make change in who I was in service of becoming who I wanted to be.

 

I don't view transference in a therapeutic relationship as positively as you do. I want more detachment and objectivity. (Perhaps I am misunderstanding how transference works, though; I had heretofore thought it was something to avoid.) I looked for it in personal relationships, but for various reasons that has come to bite me in the butt. I'm already uber-selfaware and at this point about as free of self-loathing as I possibly could be. I thank my dad and my religious upbringing for that.

 

I'm glad it worked for you, though.

[+ OliverSaks]

Transference isn't something that is inherently bad - it's just another thing to recognize and explore what it means.

[AdamSmith]

One shorthand description of transference is that the analyst helps the analysand detach his/her emotions from the inappropriate or harmful objects they're attached to which were the reasons for entering into the therapy, and transfer those emotional attachments to the person of the analyst, who then helps the analysand redistribute those emotional attachments to appropriate, healthy, rewarding objects in life and the world.

 

See also https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Countertransference

[kjun]

Si.

 

If you see a retail store charging silly prices, do you feel compelled to go on the Internet and denounce them?

 

No one makes you read these posts. It was quite clear in the heading what I was writing about and you should have been able to realize I was not going to write about how much I agreed with their charges. If I bore you please ignore my posts.

[AdamSmith]

No one makes you read these posts. It was quite clear in the heading what I was writing about and you should have been able to realize I was not going to write about how much I agreed with their charges. If I bore you please ignore my posts.

I won't ever ignore a post here. When I post a deliberately insulting reply, as I did to your OP, there will always be enough content in it to hit me back in kind.

 

Please do.

[kjun]

As usual Kevin, you're a voice of reason

 

These kinds of statements are made by guys who look at escorts as objects, not as human beings

 

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I frankly believe that you are nothing more or less than a commodity. Yes, I enjoy some escorts more than others but you are all in this as a business and money maker. You are selling something which in this case is your body and I view this as a merchandise.

[MikeyGMin]

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I frankly believe that you are nothing more or less than a commodity. Yes, I enjoy some escorts more than others but you are all in this as a business and money maker. You are selling something which in this case is your body and I view this as a merchandise.

Wow. I guess that means you have no problem if they treat you like an ATM.

 

I can't remember when I've read a colder statement on this board. Who hurt your feelings boo? This is about more than just rates.

[Good Grief]

You question - And have you seen overnite and weekend rates?!?!

 

I'm a Rentmen premium member and I can't see weekend rates - you have a different sort of membership???? Some of those you mention don't even indicate their overnight rates, or even hourly costs.

 

I have gladly handed over $1,500 for an overnight (many consecutive within the past year) with one particular fellow and will certainly continue so.

 

The fellow I spend time with, who's no longer advertising, actually charges $1,500 for an "overnight" which equals 24 hours, a full day and a night. WORTH IT.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I frankly believe that you are nothing more or less than a commodity. Yes, I enjoy some escorts more than others but you are all in this as a business and money maker. You are selling something which in this case is your body and I view this as a merchandise.

 

I'm not offended in the least, but I feel sorry for you that that's the way you look at things

 

To each their own, however. I get that.

[starman05]

one of the most pleasant evenings/nights/mornings of my life was spending a birthday with a guy -- he remembered a remark I had made months earlier and tailored the evening to include what I enjoyed.

 

He asked how I knew he was going to do what he did and I said I saw it register on your face when I said it; I knew you weren't going to forget.

 

Anyway, the rate was reasonable given the time and money (dinner AND breakfast) he put into it.

 

Worth 3x as much.

 

I wish everyone could get what they want, even just once.

[gallahadesquire]

In my Humble Experience, I've found that most Psychiatrists (M.D.) don't do analysis; they diagnose and treat "mental disorders." I'll take a psychologist with a good understanding of Cognitive Behavioral THerapy (CBT) over a shrink anyday. There are, of course, exceptions on each side, and I've spent 3 months with the former (before I was laid off) and six years with the latter.

 

When I was looking for someone to use as a therapist (not an analyst), I knew exactly who I needed: It was a fellow who was associated with our Pain Clinic during my fellowship. He asked me, "Why have you chosen me?", and I said, "Because I need someone who will look me straight in the eye and say 'You are so full of shit,' and / or 'Fuck off!'"

 

He was good at both.

 

I think the choice depends on one's insight and one's psychopathy. [note: psychopathy isn't dinged as a non-word in this system!] My sister has a "therapist" who, from what I can tell, hasn't made a bit of difference in what [i think] is wrong with her ... my sister, that is, not the therapist. CBT is good for interactions, and understand things like chronic pain.

 

I'll wander off now. I appreciate your support, Thanks for listening. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3LkWVqYecE]

[Nvr2Thick]

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I frankly believe that you are nothing more or less than a commodity. Yes, I enjoy some escorts more than others but you are all in this as a business and money maker. You are selling something which in this case is your body and I view this as a merchandise.

 

[+ azdr0710]

wow, Benjamin Nicholas is back after ten years

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

wow, Benjamin Nicholas is back after ten years

 

I thought ten was a nice, round number.

 

It'll be nice to chime in now and then. I've missed some of you

[+ azdr0710]

I thought ten was a nice, round number.

 

It'll be nice to chime in now and then. I've missed some of you

 

don't take it too seriously and engage "thick skin" mode!.....

[down_to_business]

Unfortunately the thread took a sharp turn from where I thought or dare say hoped it was going. I feel I must clarify a few points after reading some of the comments.

 

I unequivocally state my respect and admiration for the many fine escort service providers out there. It is surely not a job that I could do. It saddens me to read those remarks disparaging of you.

When I discuss rates or want to discuss rates, it is NEVER from a point of entitlement or demand for any escort to be forced into "rent control" or price stabilization. I don't even want you as my escort... we obviously are not a match... just as I am not your target market as a client you are not my target audience as a potential escort. What I want to discuss, and only with like minded clients and escorts who want to discuss such issues is how we connect these escorts who want to work at reasonable rates with these clients who want to hire them. It become quite clear that Rentmen is not the answer.

 

Here is my take on why. It's not the "market sets the rate" principle at work... it's "keeping up with the Joneses" in play. Because "everyone else" is advertising at $300 on Rentmen, I am going to advertise at $300. What I am seeing in my own hiring is when it was in the $200 an hour range, I would hire at least once every few weeks... and now in the $300 range, maybe once or twice a year (so basically, I went from spending about $5000 a year on escorts to $500). Maybe that is a good thing. But, if there are escorts out there that would like to be working more and clients out there like me who would like to be hiring more... then we should find some better ways to get together. Maybe the title "charges or rates" isn't the best one to do this under.

 

So again.. treat escorts with respect. Escorts who are going for the target market of the top 10% of earners, I applaud you, keep your target market, don't worry about me.. don't change for me, ignore me, I am not trying to reach you or change you.

But never ever value yourself based on the amount of money you either charge or pay for an hour of service.

[loverboy95]

I thought ten was a nice, round number.

 

It'll be nice to chime in now and then. I've missed some of you

 

Welcome back, Ben!

[+ glutes]

In reply to someone who wrote earlier, that clients shouldn't look at escorts as objects?

Escorts shouldn't look at clients as ATM's, or as someone who will lease them a low-end Porsche.

[MiamiLooker]

Wow. I guess that means you have no problem if they treat you like an ATM.

Some escorts do this and some don't. And some are able to do this less obviously than others (http://www.companyofmen.org/threads/simplyadam.121121/#post-1219384).

[+ OliverSaks]

Unfortunately the thread took a sharp turn from where I thought or dare say hoped it was going. I feel I must clarify a few points after reading some of the comments.

 

I unequivocally state my respect and admiration for the many fine escort service providers out there. It is surely not a job that I could do. It saddens me to read those remarks disparaging of you.

When I discuss rates or want to discuss rates, it is NEVER from a point of entitlement or demand for any escort to be forced into "rent control" or price stabilization. I don't even want you as my escort... we obviously are not a match... just as I am not your target market as a client you are not my target audience as a potential escort. What I want to discuss, and only with like minded clients and escorts who want to discuss such issues is how we connect these escorts who want to work at reasonable rates with these clients who want to hire them. It become quite clear that Rentmen is not the answer.

 

Here is my take on why. It's not the "market sets the rate" principle at work... it's "keeping up with the Joneses" in play. Because "everyone else" is advertising at $300 on Rentmen, I am going to advertise at $300. What I am seeing in my own hiring is when it was in the $200 an hour range, I would hire at least once every few weeks... and now in the $300 range, maybe once or twice a year (so basically, I went from spending about $5000 a year on escorts to $500). Maybe that is a good thing. But, if there are escorts out there that would like to be working more and clients out there like me who would like to be hiring more... then we should find some better ways to get together. Maybe the title "charges or rates" isn't the best one to do this under.

 

So again.. treat escorts with respect. Escorts who are going for the target market of the top 10% of earners, I applaud you, keep your target market, don't worry about me.. don't change for me, ignore me, I am not trying to reach you or change you.

But never ever value yourself based on the amount of money you either charge or pay for an hour of service.

I don't quite understand why you have stopped hiring so much. Going from 5000$ to 500$ is a huge gap - it doesn't really make sense to me that the $300 price point would be the cause of this drastic shift. With the normal $5000 you used to spend, couldn't you just hire less frequently at the higher rates?

 

I would like to understand.

[MiamiLooker]

Unfortunately the thread took a sharp turn from where I thought or dare say hoped it was going. I feel I must clarify a few points after reading some of the comments.

 

I unequivocally state my respect and admiration for the many fine escort service providers out there. It is surely not a job that I could do. It saddens me to read those remarks disparaging of you.

When I discuss rates or want to discuss rates, it is NEVER from a point of entitlement or demand for any escort to be forced into "rent control" or price stabilization. I don't even want you as my escort... we obviously are not a match... just as I am not your target market as a client you are not my target audience as a potential escort. What I want to discuss, and only with like minded clients and escorts who want to discuss such issues is how we connect these escorts who want to work at reasonable rates with these clients who want to hire them. It become quite clear that Rentmen is not the answer.

 

Here is my take on why. It's not the "market sets the rate" principle at work... it's "keeping up with the Joneses" in play. Because "everyone else" is advertising at $300 on Rentmen, I am going to advertise at $300. What I am seeing in my own hiring is when it was in the $200 an hour range, I would hire at least once every few weeks... and now in the $300 range, maybe once or twice a year (so basically, I went from spending about $5000 a year on escorts to $500). Maybe that is a good thing. But, if there are escorts out there that would like to be working more and clients out there like me who would like to be hiring more... then we should find some better ways to get together. Maybe the title "charges or rates" isn't the best one to do this under.

 

So again.. treat escorts with respect. Escorts who are going for the target market of the top 10% of earners, I applaud you, keep your target market, don't worry about me.. don't change for me, ignore me, I am not trying to reach you or change you.

But never ever value yourself based on the amount of money you either charge or pay for an hour of service.

 

Clients who hire from Rentmen can either face the fact that rates there are going to continue to spiral upward and learn to live with it, or they find other alternatives.